Chapter Forty-Seven
Ghost
Entering King’s office, neither he nor Cash said a word. I knew the drill. This wasn’t my first rodeo. Though it was my first time as a civilian. I sat in the chair across the desk from King.
On that desk lay my cut. My fingers itched to reach out and grab it. I wanted desperately to throw it back over my shoulders where it belonged. But Melissa’s face popped up in my mind and I remembered why I gave it up.
“You forgot something when you left,” King said, nudging the cut in my direction.
I stared at the piece of worn leather. The patches on the back that I worked so hard for. “I didn’t forget it,” I said, shaking my head.
“Ghost—”
“Let me stop you right there.” I looked at Cash. What I was about to say was a dick move, but I needed them to understand. “If Rachel were still here and asked you to walk away, what would you say?”
Something flashed in his eyes and his lips tightened. “Knowing everything I know now?”
“Yea.”
“I’d tell her no.”
My eyes bugged. He would give her up? His actions since she passed didn’t fit with the words he was saying, yet the truth was there in the finality of his answer.
“You’d walk away from her?”
He nodded his affirmation. And the way his throat swallowed, I knew he couldn’t say the words out loud. While I believed him, there was something more. Something had happened and I couldn’t help but wonder if Rachel’s loyalty to Ryder had changed something in their relationship. A tear in the otherwise thick fabric of their connection we all thought was strong enough to withstand anything.
“Did Mellie ask you to leave the club?” King asked.
“No. She had no idea until I told her out at the ranch.” Her surprise and disbelief when I told her pierced something in my heart. My woman had been hurt, and if it was the last fucking thing I did, I would drench her in the love she didn’t believe she deserved.
“How long had you been considering leaving the club?”
“Honestly?”
“I would hope you wouldn’t offer anything else.”
I squirmed in my seat. King wanted the truth, but I knew he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear. The truth was, I had been considering leaving the club from the very first moment.
“The night I met her, it crossed my mind that she was less than an hour from the Diamondback Club.”
“You wanted to patch over?” King’s eyes widened comically.
“I considered it.”
“What changed?” King asked. He sat in his chair, arms crossed over his desk. His focus on me, unwavering. He didn’t try to convince me otherwise. He didn’t yell, or demand I put my cut back on, never removing it again. He didn’t rule with fear and intimidation.
He gave the same respect he demanded from us. He was fair in his assessments and his punishments. With everyone but himself.
And Grace.
“I didn’t know why she ran that night. There was no indication she wasn’t as into me as I was into her. She was lit up like a fucking Christmas tree when we left the bar. We had planned on spending the entire night fucking.”
“Jesus Christ, I don’t need to hear this shit. Mellie is like my little sister.”
I hitched an eyebrow at Cash. His eyes closed, realizing what he said. When he opened them again and found King and I staring at him, he grunted, “Fuck off.”
Maybe with the arrival of Melissa, he would get a little insight into the relationship Ryder had with his old lady. Maybe he would finally be willing to let it go. The club didn’t need to be split going into a war.
“Continue,” King pressed.
“When we got outside, she saw my bike. I asked her if she’d ever been on one, and she said yes. So, it never occurred to me that the bike was the issue. She didn’t sound any different when she said she forgot her jacket and had to tell her friends she was leaving. When she never came out, I went looking for her and realized she’d slipped out the back.”
Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees.
“Had I known then what the issue was, I probably would have let it go and not thought about her again. We had a connection. Something I had never felt in my life. But not wanting to be on a bike would have been a deal breaker. But after months of thinking about her. Giving up any other woman because I wanted to feel what I felt with her and not being able to experience it. When I walked into the main room and saw her standing there.”
Shaking my head, I sat back again. I was antsy. I couldn’t sit still. Justifying my actions was something I wasn’t used to. Sure, I answered to King and to Cash, but that was club shit. And until now, that was all my life had been about. I knew they didn’t get it. Cash was willing to give up his old lady. King refused to claim his.
“I can’t make you understand. I need her in my life. I feel like I started breathing again when she was finally standing in front of me. And the fucking truth is, I hadn’t even realized I had stopped.”
“So, what now?” King asked.
With a heavy exhale, knowing the hard part was over, I said, “That depends on Sypher and Pippen. Melissa needs Dani in her life, like I need her. So, we’ll go where they go.”
King looked at Cash and I swear they both had a smirk. What it meant, I had no idea. These two assholes were close. They had conversations frequently that didn’t include the rest of us. Even if we were in the same fucking room.
“I have a suggestion. Something I want you to think about. Talk to Mellie about. See if you can come to a compromise.”
I was already shaking my head at his words. Melissa didn’t need a compromise. She needed to know she was important. That she came first.
“Don’t shake your fucking head at me until you hear me out.”
Folding my arms over my chest, I waited. There was nothing he could say that would make me change my mind.
“I want you to go nomad.”
That got my fucking attention. Steele didn’t allow his members to go nomad. You were either in or you were out. There was no other option.
“Steele—”
“You let me worry about Steele.” He rubbed his hand over his face. King was worn out. I hated the position I had put him in by walking away, but the truth was, I had no choice. I loved my brothers, but Melissa had to come first.
“We’ve got a war coming, brother. We need all hands on deck.”
“This isn’t our war. It’s got nothing to do with us.”
“That’s fucking bullshit and you know it.”
Cash was right. It was bullshit. This war involved people we knew. People we loved. Not everyone would survive. But if I wasn’t involved, Melissa would be safe. And if Sypher and Pippen didn’t survive, Dani would still have Melissa. And she would need me by her side.
“I’m sorry, King. I can’t.”
“Talk to Mellie—”
“No. She wants nothing to do with the club. I won’t compromise on that.”
“You think Sypher and Pippen are planning to walk away? ‘Cause I can guaran-fucking-tee neither of those two have any plans to leave their clubs. Which means Dani is part of the club. If Mellie wants to be in that little girl’s life, she’ll have to deal with the fucking MC. They’re both part of an outlaw club. We aren’t. If she’s willing to compromise for Danika, and not for you, then maybe you need to re-evaluate if she’s invested in this as much as you are.”
Standing from my seat, I glared at the two men I looked up to the most. I opened my mouth to tell them both to fuck off when Cash stopped me.
“Don’t say something you can’t come back from, brother. Talk to Mellie. Relationships are about communication and compromise. We’re willing to compromise so you can keep your old lady. But is she willing to compromise so you can keep your family?”
My eyes moved from Cash to settle on King. I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. I wanted to point out that he was a bastard for trying to keep me from having what he himself could have if he just reached out and took it.
Standing there, my heart beat frantically with anger and resentment. My breath was controlled, but heavy with annoyance.
My brain warred with my heart. Logically, I knew what they were saying was true. Being a nomad would give me the freedom to go wherever Melissa wanted to go. While still keeping me connected to the club. It would secure my spot in the club. Leaving it open for me to return.
But at what cost?
If I made the suggestion, would I see compromise on her face, or would I see betrayal? Would she see it as us working together, or would she see just one more person who put the club before her again?
They didn’t get it. She had no control over Danika’s life. She didn’t get to choose whether or not the little girl she’d come to love like her own was part of the club or not. She had no choice but to compromise on that if she wanted Dani in her life.
It wasn’t the same with us. Danika was her daughter. Danny and Dante had done that, not Melissa. A mother would never be expected to give up her child. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t given birth to her.
It was different for me. Would she walk away from me if I stayed with the club? Yea, she would. Did I hold that against her? Not a fucking bit. Not after what she had endured.
I wouldn’t ask the woman I loved to give anything up for me. I would give up my life for her, though. I would walk away from everything I ever knew just for five minutes with her in my arms.
“I love you both. You’re my brothers and you always will be. But I won’t ask her to sacrifice her life for mine.”
“Ghost—”
I held my hand up, cutting him off. I needed to get this out. Cash was right. I didn’t want to say anything I couldn’t come back from, so I had to choose my words carefully.
“One day, I hope you both get to experience what I have with Melissa.” I focused on Cash first. “If Rachel wasn’t the woman you would be willing to give it all up for, then I hope one day that woman walks into your life. Because, brother, the way Melissa makes me feel is something everyone should experience.”
Turning to King, I hesitated. This could sink me. I was taking a chance saying what I was about to say.
“Whatever is preventing you from being with Grace. Fuck it. Nothing is more important than having the love of a good woman. And if Grace is that woman that you aren’t willing to give it all up for, then walk the fuck away. Let her go. Let her find the man who will.”
King stood from his chair; carefully controlled rage shone through his eyes as he pinned me in place.
My phone rang, breaking the spell.
“Hello?”
“Get your ass back to the ranch now.”
The call disconnected, and I stared at it. Cash moved beside me. “What is it?”
“I gotta go.”
“Ghost, who was it?”
“Grayson, I gotta get back.”
His hand slammed down on my shoulder. “Let’s go, brother.”
I booked it down the hall; Cash and King followed closely behind me. As I tore through the main room, I heard Cash call out, “Mount up, brothers.”
That was all he said. None of us knew what had happened or what we were walking into, and even though I no longer wore my cut, it didn’t matter. My brothers rode with me. They were there for me. Whatever I needed.
It crossed my mind what I was walking away from, and while it would be the hardest thing I ever did, she still had to come first. My woman was at the ranch. Something had happened.
She needed me, and I would never willingly let her down.