12. Matt
12
MATT
T he mediocre dates I had turned subpar after the first night I spent with Natalie. Since I started working with her, I find it hard to put her out of my mind long enough to focus on dating.
So, as Hinge Lucy sits across from me, I try to be present in our conversation and not think about the girl that brings nothing but trouble.
I manage to catch that Lucy is a first-grade teacher. She’s also cute with her pearly-white smile, kind eyes, and wavy blonde shoulder-length hair. Her bio says she’s looking to settle down and have kids.
“So, what do you like to do in your free time?” she asks with a hopeful smile.
“I’m a kids’ hockey coach a few times a week.” I shrug, but it’s enough to give her heart-eyes. I know there’s belief that girls like bad boys, but I never had trouble in that department. “How about you?”
“Oh, I love dogs. So usually on weekends, I volunteer at the dog shelter.” She shrugs, a shy smile on her face.
“That sounds cool.”
She continues telling me all about her favorite dogs in the shelter and how she’d love to adopt them.
She’s perfect.
Except, I’m not feeling her. My heart isn’t pumping wildly, blood hasn’t rushed downstairs, and my brain is listening to her out of pure politeness.
I ask a few more casual questions, trying to keep normal conversation.
“Let me walk you home.” I offer when we finish our meal, knowing she lives close by. She eagerly accepts.
“This is me.” She points after a five-minute walk. “You’re welcome to join me for a drink, if you’d like.”
“Sorry, I’ve got an early morning tomorrow, but I’ll text you one of these days. OK?”
“Umm, sure. I had a great evening.” Her eyebrows squish together, and I feel like shit.
“Me too. Have a good night.” I hug her, once again confusing her. She was obviously expecting a kiss.
I don’t want to give her false hope. So, tomorrow I’ll send her a polite text saying I had a great time, but my mind is stuck on someone else. Even if it wasn’t, I don’t do one-night stands, typically.
That one night, ok, t wo nights, were the exception. I don’t do detached sex; I want to have feelings for the person I’m with.
Meaning, I hadn’t had a ton of sexual partners, and the sex part was kind of bleak. I thought it was the way it went, in committed relationships. Probably up until I witnessed Rina and Connor’s relationship with anything other than a boring sex life. I guess witnessed is the wrong word, since there are people who actually witnessed their sex life, but I heard about it.
Rina and Connor frequent a sex club called L&L, where they engage in various private, public, and group activities. It’s a place that rekindled their love for each other, and no matter my judgy thoughts, I can’t deny they’re a couple I envy.
My two nights with Natalie were by far the most adventurous experiences of my life. And they were the best experiences. Maybe it’s not about her. Maybe the chemistry was partly the product of the adventure aspect.
Maybe I should explore more. Or ask Connor to take me to the club. Maybe I should’ve taken up Lucy on her offer.
Sitting on my couch, I try to imagine what it would be like. I imagine that sweet smile as she sits and grinds herself on my lap. She’s soft and feminine, molds perfectly to my touch.
But my mind isn’t having it. When I pick up my gaze from where we’re connected, dark eyes surrounded by a wild mane stare back at me with a smile the furthest thing from sweet. Instead of soft curves, Natalie’s toned body circles on my lap. She isn’t tentative or kind, she’s a lioness ready to eat me alive. I’m painfully hard, so I continue the fantasy taking my cock out of my pants. My hand starts pumping it, and I imagine her pussy in its place. Sooner than I’m proud to admit, warm liquid drips on my hand and stomach.
I clean myself up in the downstairs bathroom and head upstairs for a shower. This house is one of my proudest possessions. It’s a perfect family home, in a safe neighborhood with excellent schools. I bought it four years ago, hoping it would be full by now. But no, I’m still the only one here.
Arriving at the rink, all ten of my 6-year-old hockey students are here and ready to practice. Six little boys and four little girls have been working alongside me for over a year now, and they’re showing tremendous progress.
“Good evening, my favorite boys and girls! Ready for some hockey?” They cheer, thrilled when I use my announcer’s voice.
“Let’s start with some Sharks and Minnows while I prep the equipment. Elsie, you’re the shark.” Elsie is a bright-eyed, dark-skinned little girl who could barely stand on her skates a year ago. Now, she’s the fastest one in the group. She makes a quick work of catching the minnows while I bring in everything we’ll need for the practice.
I set up the cones for the relay race. Five cones in two rows for the two groups I split them in. It’s one of their favorite activities. They get super competitive, and, most times, I have to give the losing team a chance for a rematch.
With the sound of my whistle, Eric and Tommy start leading the puck around the cones. Eric doesn’t lose focus for a second, and it’s obvious he had some extra practice with his dad, finishing way before Tommy. Tommy’s team doesn’t give up, sending Elsie next. She quickly catches up to Sofia, taking the lead for her team. It’s neck and neck till the last second, but Eric’s team is victorious in the end. They celebrate like they’re in the NHL, which never gets old.
“Great job, guys! That’s it for today!” I yell out after we close off the practice with some free puck play. I give each of the kids a high five on their way out. Eric waits last in line to exit. He never rushes to exit the ice. He would probably live on it if possible.
“Hi,” Rina says as I step out, giving me a funny look. She helps Eric untie his skates before he leaves to the locker room.
“What’s the look?” I ask, suspicious.
“What look?”
“She told you.” It clicks. “Natalie told you.”
“Umm . . . yeah, she did. It explains a lot.”
I run a hand through my hair. “Does it? Because I don’t have a clue what’s going on half of the time.” She winces slightly.
“I can understand that. Look, Natalie is my best friend. I love her to death. I also love you, so I think you deserve to know I think it would be a bad idea. Natalie’s weird about this stuff. She refuses anything serious, and I’m sure she has her reasons. I don’t want you to get hurt in the process.”
“Yeah, I got that. But thanks, anyway.” She gives me a sad smile before she follows Eric to the locker room.
I don’t know why what she said rubbed me the wrong way, but it did. Is everyone worried she’s going to hurt me?
I know I’m more romantic than the average male, but I’m not fucking fragile.
Why does Rina even think I’m interested in Natalie enough for her to hurt me?
I mean, the sex was great, but our values and goals are vastly different. And I was never one to be led by my dick.
I do my best to keep my head down in the office the next few days. Not because I’m trying to hide, but because I’m trying to avoid the bright supernova blinding me. Still, glimpses of olive skin and curly hair wreak havoc on my peripheral vision.
She’s a magnet to the people around her. They gravitate towards her effortlessly, hanging on to every word she says. It’s who she is. Which only makes my task of ignoring her harder.
On Wednesday, I ignore the way her purple blouse reveals her collarbone.
On Thursday, I ignore the sound of her laughter, and I definitely don’t wonder what made her laugh.
On Friday, I ignore hearing her moan taking the first sip of her morning coffee.
By Saturday, I’m ready for a Natalie cleanse.
So, I call up Noah and Connor to meet me for drinks. We meet in a sports bar downtown, and within five minutes, it’s clear my wishes won’t be answered. A college basketball game is playing on the giant TV screens, but Connor has a smirk on his face, meaning he came here for the tea, not the sports.
“What’s up?” Noah asks, arriving a minute later, sinking into the brown leather booth.
“Oh, nothing. Just waiting on Matt to admit he broke his no-casual-sex rule with none other than our very own Natalie Barnett,” Connor says, making Noah wince.
“What’s that? The face you made?” I point at Noah’s face.
“How can I explain this to you...It’s as if you played your first ever basketball game, against LeBron.” I scoff, but he’s dead serious.
“What’re you talking about? It’s not like I’m a virgin.”
“Well, in a world of casual sex, you pretty much are,” Connor buts in, as if he hasn’t contributed enough. I should have realized Connor would know the second Rina knew. Rookie mistake.
“Look, all we’re saying, is that when it comes to those things, Natalie is a hall-of-famer, the G.O.A.T., if you will. While you, my dear friend, are a puppy in the area. So don’t take offense if we think she’ll chew you up and spit you out.”
“Hard to not take offense when you put it like that.”
“You know what we mean. You get attached.” Connor shrugs, and I guess I see their point.
“I get it...kind of. I still find it offensive.” I tip my bottle to them, making them laugh.
“How’s work going?” I turn to Noah. After working there for five years, I expected to miss it more. I don’t.
“Ahh, you know, same old, same old. Only been to the office once this week, so it was a good one.”
“How’s Gary doing?” Gary Williams is my previous boss.
“The same misogynistic piece of shit he was three weeks ago.” I wince. “Think I’ll be leaving soon, as well.” He’s been freelancing for a while, slowly building his portfolio so he could afford to be self-employed.
“Fuck. I’m glad I’m not around anymore.” He nods his head.
We drink a couple of beers, watch some basketball, and by 11 p.m., I’m in my bed. Perfect night out for a 32-year-old. The beers help me fall asleep without tension—unlike other nights when I’m doing my best not to jerk off to the memories of the woman driving me insane.