17. Natalie
17
NATALIE
“ W hat do you need the recipe for?” My mom asks me in Nonna’s kitchen.
“I’m going to a barbeque at a friend’s house tomorrow.”
“Ooh, a friend, you say?” My nonna interrupts.
“Yes, a friend, Nonna.”
“Who is that friend, Natalia? When do we get to meet him?” As nonnas usually do, mine is constantly expecting I bring home a man that will make her some grandbabies.
“He’s just a friend. Rina and Anne will also be there. And my favorite man—Eric, of course.”
“That boy is cute, but you should have one of your own.” Mom gives me a sympathetic look. At twenty-nine years old, I’m almost geriatric in Nonna’s eyes.
“Mamma, let her be. She’ll settle down when she feels like it.” I give mom a thankful smile, though she’s also expecting it at some point. Which I don’t plan to.
At least once a month, we meet up for family lunch. My sister is in college halfway across the country, but my brother and his husband live close by.
“What’s up, Nat?” My brother Tony gives me a hug.
“You let him get out of the house like this, Jer?” I point a thumb at Tony and Jeremy laughs out loud.
Tony ruffles my already messy hair, ignoring my joke.
“So, who you’re making Mom’s special salad for?” he asks, popping a pickle in his mouth.
“Just for a barbeque.”
“So, not getting married?”
“Maybe next Saturday.” I shrug, making them both laugh. They’re both aware my wedding is a thing of fantasy, like a unicorn or the Tooth Fairy.
Mom’s special salad turns out better than expected. The lemon gives it just enough acidity, the saltiness comes mostly from the parmesan cheese, and it’s perfectly crunchy, courtesy of romaine lettuce, croutons, and red onions.
With a big bowl in my hands, I get out of my car in front of Matt’s house. It’s my first time here, but somehow, it’s exactly what I expected.
A two story, well-maintained house sits in front of a small, manicured lawn. The neighborhood is peaceful and quiet, other than the sound of kids playing. I go around the house into the expansive backyard. Right away, I know it was the selling point for him. Nice barbeque area, table big enough for fifteen people, a fire pit, and a small kid’s playground. Knowing Matt, it’s the house he bought planning to fill with kids. Kids he’s going to be an amazing father to.
A lump forms in my throat. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s remorse I’m feeling. It’s ironic, the one man who attracts me this much is the one who can’t be more different than me.
Opposites attract, I guess.
Noah notices me standing with a huge glass bowl of salad and waves me over to the barbeque, where he’s grilling what looks like twenty burgers.
“Wow, how many people are we expecting?” I ask.
“Don’t ask me. I’m not allowed near the grill. If he sees me with the thongs,” he clicks them in his hand, “I’m done.” A chuckle escapes me. I bring him in for a hug. Noah and I never hung out one on one, but I have a fondness for him. His quiet persona is so unlike mine, but every once in a while, I get a glimpse of him, signaling we might not be so different.
Matt exits his house just as we end the hug. He’s wearing an unbuttoned brown flannel, washed out jeans, and a fucking backwards baseball hat. I inwardly groan. With a dirty dish rag strewn over his shoulder, he’s somehow even hotter than he is wearing button downs and slacks.
“Natalie, hi!” His mouth stretches into a wide smile as he pulls me into a hug, copying my greeting with Noah. As the scent of smoke and man seeps into my lungs, I realize this is the first time we’ve hugged.
But it feels as if we’ve practiced it for years. My head fits perfectly into the crook of his neck. He’s well over six feet, but not giant enough he would have to bend down awkwardly to kiss me.
Not that I’m imagining him kissing me.
Fuck.
“Let me get that for you.” He takes the bowl out of my hands and sets it on the table.
“Can I help with something?” I ask.
“Nope, I got everything handled. But you can grab a drink from inside. I need to flip these.” He gestures to the burgers on the grill.
Taking the thongs out of Noah’s hands, he starts moving the meat around the grill. His back muscles strain under the flannel, and his worn jeans hug his ass like an old friend. Noah smirks at me, noticing me staring, so I quickly get inside the house to grab a drink.
Needing to cool down, I grab a beer, deciding it’ll be my one and only. I don’t drink a lot. I’ll have a drink or two, but I’m careful of never getting drunk. A little bit tipsy, sure, but drunk? Not anymore.
The inside of the house matches the outside. Everything is tidy and put together. Cozy sofas with throw blankets and a bunch of pillows, family pictures on the wall, something resembling kid’s art on the fridge. This is not a bachelor pad, by any means. No, this is the home of a man who takes care of his belongings. A man that will take care of his family.
The fact I find it attractive is purely biological.
Soon, the rest of the crew is here. Eric plays soccer with Connor and Noah, Matt is still handling the grill (looking too good for comfort), and Rina, Anne, and I soak up the afternoon sun while we can.
“This is nice,” Anne comments. “We missed you before when we hung out here.”
“Yeah, this backyard is crazy. He should make a pool right over there.” I point to the far end of the yard.
“He plans to do exactly that,” Rina smirks.
“Oh.” For some reason, having the same idea as him warms me up inside.
Matt approaches with a platter full of burgers and we dig in. There is an array of condiments spread over the table, so we each grab what we want and make our burgers. The guys wash their hands after soccer and join us at the table.
“God, Matt, this is incredible,” Anne says with her mouth full. He flashes her a bright smile. There is a spot of char underneath his bottom lip, and I itch to wet my thumb and remove it.
Biting into the burger, I barely manage to suppress a moan. This is the best burger I ever had. With the taste of it on my tongue, the scent of the grill, and his rugged look, my nipples tingle with anticipation.
In all of my sexual encounters, never have I ever gotten turned on by a burger. Until now.
After the meal, the guys—now with Matt—get back to playing soccer while we continue chilling on the comfortable garden chairs. His moves are quick and deft as he helps Eric score. Eric shoots the ball into the makeshift goal, and Matt grabs him, throwing him in the air, while Eric laughs hysterically.
“So, what’s up?” Rina asks, staring at me from my right.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, suddenly, you’re at Matt’s barbeque, after everything you’ve told us, acting all friendly.”
“We decided to be friends.”
She nods her head in understanding. “So, you got it out of your system?”
I shoot her a confused look, so she continues: “The attraction?”
“Yeah, you know I never stay in the same place for too long.” The second part is the truth, but the attraction?
It’s definitely not out of my system. It’s so deep in my system even this casual, friendly outing makes me ache to get him alone. But that would be a terrible idea.
Connor, Rina, and Eric are the first to leave, having to get Eric ready for bed. Anne hitches a ride with Noah, and suddenly, I’m the only one left.
“Well, I guess I can’t escape helping you clean now,” I say, making him chuckle. A bunch of things are still on the table, so we get to work in cozy silence.
I’m washing the dishes when he enters from the backyard, a couple of empty beer bottles in hand.
“These are the last ones.” Circling me, he drops the bottles into the recycling. The whole thing is too domesticated, too comfortable for comfort.
“Great, I’m finishing up, too.”
“Thanks for helping out. I could have done it myself, but I appreciate the company.” His lips turn up while he leans on the counter.
“My nonna would disown me if I did that.”
“You’re Italian?” A curious look appears as he takes a swig of his beer.
“On my mom’s side. Nonna never quite got over my mom not marrying an Italian. That’s why she’s the only one who calls me Natalia.”
“Natalia.” He tries it out. “Sound beautiful.” Blood rushes to my cheeks. “You have a big family?”
“Yeah, I guess. I have a younger brother and sister, but when you add all the cousins, there’s probably fifty of us.”
“Wow. That sounds . . . loud.” I crack up.
“That’s a gross understatement.”
“Where are your brother and sister? Are you close?”
“Yeah. My sister is in California, in college. And my brother lives close to my parent’s house, with his husband. How about you?”
“It was just my sister, my mom, and me. My dad left when I was three years old, I don’t really remember him much.”
“What a shitty thing to do.” It’s an understatement, but at least it makes him laugh.
“It is. But he did teach me something. He taught me how not to be.” And I believe him. He’s the guy who sticks around.
Finishing the beer in his hands, he reaches in front of me to recycle it, as I’m drying my hands. The move surprises me, so I look up, and his face is an inch from mine. His scent is in my nose, his eyes staring into my soul, before he closes the cabinet door and reaches back.
For a second, I was sure he was going to kiss me.
For a second, there was nothing I wanted more.
“I better get going,” I say, suddenly desperate to get out.
“Sure, I’ll walk you out.”
“No need. I had a good time today, thanks for the burgers!” I rush to the front door and make a dash to my car.
I’m not used to this. Sex and friendship don’t mix, and this is why. It’s the source of ambiguous looks and confusing expectations.
I fall asleep mad at him for not kissing me.
Mad at myself for wanting it.
And mad at his fucking scent for not leaving my nose.