Give Me Butterflies (Oaks Sisters #1)

Chapter 31

Millie

Jojo, our giant jungle nymph, has been sitting with me since I gave the interview committee a tour of the butterfly vivarium

this morning. Her bright green body is about the length of my hand, and it’s important that she’s comfortable with being held,

so Micah and I take turns during the week. She’s a great silent companion that hasn’t judged me for talking to myself for

the last hour.

My computer dings with a new email, and a squeak of excitement bursts out of me when I see it’s Sharon scheduling my second

interview for almost two weeks from now. She has a few time options for me to choose from, so I email her back, thanking her

and picking the earliest time slot. I’d rather get it over with first thing in the morning than dread it and feel anxious

about it all day.

This means I have twelve days to prepare myself to convince a hiring committee that I’m the right person for this job.

I’ll still have to endure the other applicant having their time in charge next week, but I can handle it. I will be the picture

of civility, even if I’m screaming on the inside, because I’m a professional. And I have to prove it.

My phone buzzes on my desk, and my stomach jumps when I see Finn’s text on the screen.

Finn: Hi, Millie. Would you be willing to meet me at Maggie’s for lunch?

My mind floods with the millions of things I want to say to him, but none of them should be said over a text.

Millie: Does one o’clock work?

***

As I round the corner toward Maggie’s, Finn’s hunched shoulders come into view through the raindrops in my vision, and my

heart rate picks up just seeing him there. He stands under the awning, hands shoved in his pockets, while rain pelts the sidewalk

and splashes onto his black shoes.

The fact that he waited for me spreads a soothing warmth through my limbs. I haven’t been back here since our date, and having

someone with me will make it easier.

“Thanks for waiting.” I join him under the awning and unzip my raincoat.

Finn reaches for the strap on my arm and pulls my bag to his shoulder. “No problem. I’m sorry it took so long to get back

here.” He places his hand flat against my lower back and opens the door with his other. The warmth of his palm stays there,

but he doesn’t push me inside. It’s a stabilizing comfort while he waits for me to feel ready.

The smell of roasted coffee and warm, fresh bread hits my nose as I scan what I can see through the doorway: a few people

waiting in line to order and a barista walking by with a tray of food.

I can do this. Even if Kyle is here, I have a buffer. I have Finn in my corner, and I may not know what’s going on between

us, but I trust he would do anything I needed him to.

I cross the threshold, Finn following close behind me. My gaze darts around the restaurant as I take off my coat. I don’t see Kyle’s blond hair or hear his voice over the others. When I get into line, I breathe a sigh of relief, and Finn squeezes my shoulder.

“Remember when you thought you could hide me from your mom’s FaceTime call?” His breath kisses over my ear as he talks, intimate

and secret. “But you forgot about the reflection in the window?”

A bubble of laughter breaks through my anxiety, and I peek over at him. “Remember when I found out you kiss like a sheepdog?”

His eyes narrow into thin slits. “I proved I didn’t.”

“Did you, though?” I needle him.

Finn stays right behind me while we order, like a bodyguard in case I need it, and then we make our way to a table. I take

a seat and pull my warm coffee mug in front of me, cradling it between my hands like it’s a Drink Protection Wall guarding

me against any devastating news he may present.

“How was your week?” he asks.

Everything I want to say pushes and shoves at the gates of my mind.

I missed you. You kissed me senseless, then haven’t called me in days. I don’t know what’s happening to my brain and my heart,

but it wants to be around your brain and your heart constantly.

“Long,” I say, giving him the simplest, least revealing answer.

He adjusts his glasses. “Everything going okay with your week in charge?”

“I think so.” I nod and take a sip of my coffee, but it’s too hot, and I can practically hear my tongue sizzle.

An awkward silence hovers in the air between us. Screw this small talk. I need answers. But he doesn’t seem to know where

to start. His hands cradle his coffee mug, and he stares into it like he might find the answers there.

Finally, he takes a deep breath and begins. “I want to apologize for the mood I was in on the way home from your parents’ house. There’s no excuse. I just didn’t know how to put into words what I was thinking, and I didn’t want to say the wrong thing.”

“You were in a pretty bad mood at the meeting too,” I remind him.

“Yeah,” he sighs, rubbing a palm over his beard. “I’m sorry.” There’s another stretch of silence. “When we were up on that

overlook,” he starts, and my mind flashes back to that picture-perfect moment. To the stars over my head, his face between

my legs. He smirks, probably seeing the blush heating my cheeks. “ That was fucking perfect. I’ve thought about it every day since.”

“Me too,” I whisper, unable to filter myself.

He bites his bottom lip and turns serious again. “But when your mom called, I felt guilty, like I was being irresponsible.

Clara left the girls with me because she believed I would take care of them, and on the overlook, it felt like I’d chosen

you over them. If something had gone wrong, I was with you, distracted.”

My spine stiffens. “That’s not what I intended when I took you up there.”

He reaches over and wraps his hand around one of mine, trying to breach the Wall. “I know. But I have this huge responsibility,

and I’m still trying to figure out the right ways to handle it.”

A waitress steps up to our table and sets my chicken Caesar salad and Finn’s roast beef sandwich in front of us.

When she leaves, Finn continues. “My therapist helped me sort things out yesterday, and I think it’s important to explain

to you before we continue building a relationship. Because that’s what I want, Millie. I want to be together, in front of

the girls and everyone else.”

Little bubbles of happiness gather in my chest as Finn reaches for my hand again.

“Clara and I were raised by two people who always put everything else before their own children. Hell, they went to a dinner party on my eighth birthday, and I pretended to blow out a candle over a bowl of cereal with Clara.” He shakes his head. “So I’m having a hard time finding the right balance between the example I was shown throughout my childhood and the kind of parent I want to be for Ave and El.”

He sighs and shakes his head. “I’m trying to trust that Clara knew I wasn’t going to behave like our parents, and I have to

believe in myself enough to trust the decision she made. But I need you to know that Ave and El will always be there. You

and I being in a relationship will mean the girls are a part of it. I have to make sure you want that.”

As he explains his fears, I remember what he told me about his ex. How she broke things off because she wasn’t willing to

share him with his nieces. Something twists and strains in my heart. I could never give him an ultimatum like that.

It’s Finn and his girls. A package deal. I would never want it any other way.

The decision is effortless. “I want to be in a relationship with all of you, but what if this ends badly? I hate the thought

of things going wrong between us and never getting to see the girls again.”

His eyes soften. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. But I also think that if, for some reason, we don’t continue our relationship,

we’re both mature enough to handle it well for them.”

I press my lips together, feeling a wave of sadness crash over me at the thought. “They’ve already lost so much. They don’t

deserve to lose more.”

“I know,” he whispers, brushing a circle over the back of my hand. “We won’t let it happen that way.”

I nod, tears springing to my eyes. “I’ve missed them this week.”

His head tilts. “You missed us?”

A snort of a laugh leaves my throat. “No, I said I missed them . Not you. Did you see your Grumpy Spock scowl at that meeting?”

We both know my words are a lie. I missed him every day.

He gives me a wry look. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Um.” I raise my eyes to the ceiling and pretend to think over my schedule. “I have plans with a guy who isn’t grumpy and

doesn’t scream at the sight of spiders.”

His mouth twitches in amusement. “He sounds boring. Come out with me, instead.”