Give Me Butterflies (Oaks Sisters #1)

Chapter 1

Lena

“Cleaning puke off my new Christmas pajamas just isn’t a part of my journey this year,” I inform Millie as my tires screech

on the pavement, trying to gain traction on the hill up to my mom’s house.

“But if you come back here, we could be sick in a blanket fort together.” My best friend’s voice is laced with disappointment

as it echoes through the car speakers. “We can hide in there and rewatch Bridgerton while Finn plays nurse for us.”

“Mmm, being waited on by your boyfriend does sound tempting. Is he going to dress up? I might be willing to risk a stomach

bug for that.”

This was going to be the first year I spent the week of Christmas away from my family. Ever. But my plan to stay in Wilhelmina with Millie and her new family imploded this morning when Finn’s niece, Eloise, threw up

all over their game of Uno.

“I’ll get online right now and order a costume as a last-minute gift,” Millie says. “Think they make sexy nurse outfits big

enough to fit him?”

Our combined laughter fills the car as I reach my mom’s two-story cabin and park behind her SUV. “He’s going to hate me for

giving you this idea. I’ll be subjected to even more of his scowls and eye rolls. It’s a wonder he’s not sick of me yet.”

“If he was, we’d have to seriously reconsider our arrangements over here,” she says. “He’d be sleeping in Pepper’s dog bed from then on.”

I snort a laugh as I unbuckle my seat belt. “I’m about to become an even clingier best friend just so I can see that.” Pulling

my keys from the ignition, I twist them in my grip. “I’m here, Mills.”

A whoosh of breath crackles over the line as she sighs, the sound dousing me with the urge to hug her. “Okay. Everything is

going to be great. They’ll be so excited you ended up coming, and at least you don’t have to spend your week with a stomach

virus.”

“I will pray to Santa and Mrs. Claus that everyone feels better soon,” I promise.

“Thanks,” she sighs. “Love you. Try to forget all the job stuff for a week. It can wait until you get back.”

“Love you too, and I’ll try. Kiss your girls for me. And sneak a picture if you get Finn in that costume.”

When the call ends, I blow out a long breath, letting my gaze trace over the white Christmas lights trimming the house and

the golden glow shining from the windows.

Millie’s words echo in my head. Forget about the job stuff.

Is that even possible? It’s been a constant weight on my shoulders since my dreams of being an art teacher crumbled around

me two weeks ago. I’d hoped that spending the holidays with Millie’s family would be a breath of fresh air, a chance for something

different.

Millie and her family have been the perfect distraction from all the negative thoughts in my head lately. At their house,

everything is loud, joyous, and carefree.

Mine, on the other hand?

It’s too quiet now that Millie and Pepper have moved out. Too calm and boring and void of friendship.

Maybe I should look into adopting a dog.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Millie and Finn. I want to scream from the top of the Wilhelmina Natural Science Museum that I was an integral part of forcing those two clueless scientists together.

When Millie and Finn make eyes at each other across the room, and his lips kick up like he’s completely smitten with her,

it makes my heart warm and fuzzy. And when my other best friends, Micah and Emil, hold hands in the car while we drive to

dinner, it makes me grin like a proud mom.

But my own loneliness still hangs like a collar around my neck, reminding me I don’t have what my friends do.

I can be happy for them and sad for myself at the same time, I think. I’ve spent my whole life feeling that way.

My role is “best friend support system.” The one to help send that firmly worded text. The one who has their back against

a bully. The one who pumps them up when they need a pep talk.

It’s an honor to protect the people I care about.

But occasionally, I want my own person to help protect me .

I firmly believe I can make my way in the world without a partner, but that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes I’m simply

lonely .

Sometimes I wish I had someone to laugh at my ridiculous day and remind me to eat a real meal every once in a while. Someone

to cuddle up to on the couch and have inside jokes with. Someone to lean on when I’m not feeling my strongest, and who can

guide me in the right direction when I’m feeling lost.

And maybe some physical benefits too? Honestly, my lady bits might be amassing cobwebs at this point from the lack of contact

with anything other than my vibrator.

Shivering at that possibility, I pull my rainbow beanie over my head. Then I slip on my sage-green gloves and stuff my arms

into the sleeves of my puffy red jacket.

I take one more deep inhale for good measure before I get out of the car. Maybe the extra oxygen will relax all my tension-filled muscles.

My lashes are weighted with snowflakes when I finally make it to the front door, opting to leave the last-minute gifts I grabbed

in the car so my five-year-old nephew, Jack, can’t tear into them early.

When I push open the door, relief sweeps into my heart like a warm breeze.

I soak in all the little details. The garland twining around the banister, the phantom smell of sugar and vanilla, the faint

Christmas music drifting to my ears.

Home.

I let my eyelids fall shut as I close the door behind me and drop my bags.

Despite the fact that I’d planned to stay away this year, I can’t deny the comfort washing over me. I’ve missed it here.

“What the fuck, Lena?”

My eyes shoot open to land on my sister-in-law, Zara. A shocked smile brightens her blue eyes as she stands from the couch

with her one-month-old son, Noah. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard it’s Christmas.” I shrug, grinning as we meet in the entryway.

“Did you have this planned all along?” Zara asks, tugging me into a quick, one-arm hug.

“No. Millie’s family got sick, so I’m a surprise gift.” My dark curls brush Noah’s cheek as I lean toward him to leave a kiss

on his forehead.

“Tia Lena,” Jack screeches, his wild ringlets bouncing as he barrels toward me and collides with my legs.

Mama rushes in from the kitchen, hands waving excitedly. “Oi,” she squeals. “You came! Merry Christmas, amorzinho .”

Letting go of Jack, I pull Mama toward me, a wave of calm coursing through me as she squeezes me tight.

As Mama releases me, my grandmother, who we call Luci, rounds the corner. With tears glistening in her eyes, she frames my

face between her palms. “ Menina , you scared the shit out of me saying you wouldn’t be here.” She shakes her head. “Don’t do it again.” Her blunt words have

me nodding in her grip. “I’ll make you hot tea. It’s freezing outside,” she announces in the lingering Portuguese accent from

her childhood in Brazil.

I huff a laugh. “It’s okay. I’m really not that cold. I have a heater in my car.”

She waves me off as she makes her way back to the kitchen.

Zara snickers, her blond hair swinging as she shakes her head. “She’s a force to be reckoned with today.”

“Where do you think I got it from?” I shoot her a sassy wink as I strip out of my cold-weather gear.

Zara nudges Noah toward me, and I settle him into my arms, a snuggly little bundle against my sweater.

“You’re stuck with him now,” she calls over her shoulder as she jogs up the stairs. “Auggie’s at the store, and I need a shower

more than you want to know.”

Carefully carrying Noah into the living room, I navigate around Jack’s doll collection in the middle of the floor.

“Where’s your sister?” I ask him, lowering myself to the couch.

“With Daddy at the store,” Jack says as he stuffs his doll’s feet into a plastic shoe. “They had to get more bread for dinner.”

I hum in understanding as I focus on the little guy in my arms.

New addition to my running list of jobs to look for: holding snuggly babies all day.

“We’ve only met once before,” I whisper to Noah’s sleeping face, soaking up every detail of his rosy round cheeks and long dark lashes. “But I’m sure you remember me. I’m the one who told you the secret about your dad actually being an alien.”

He lets out a sigh that sounds an awful lot like a moody teenager.

“I know, but if you ignore the green antennae, he’s a nice one, I promise.”

Luci approaches with a mug nestled between her hands. “Raspberry. Our favorite.”

“Thank you.” I grab the tea, and she lets out a groan as she drops to the couch beside me.

“How’s my Lena?” she wonders, patting my thigh.

I take a sip of my tart tea, trying to gain control of my emotions. “Good. Great.” The words come out too loud, and the corners

of my lips quiver.

I’ve felt so... adrift lately. Like I’m lost in a turbulent ocean without land in sight. And for some reason, the concern

in her voice feels like she’s thrown me a life preserver.

It makes me want to pour out all my thoughts and have her sort them out with me.

Her brow furrows, but before she can respond, the back door squeaks open and a commotion rises from behind us in the kitchen.

My brother’s voice booms through the house in greeting before my niece, Penelope, shouts, “Tia Lena!”

Craning my neck, I try to see her, but I don’t want to wake Noah, so I set the mug on the coffee table and wave her over.

She bounds toward me and dives onto the couch beside me.

“There you are.” I sigh, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I missed you, kid.”

She grins up at me. “I missed you too. I’m glad you came.”

“Me too.” Pressing my nose to her chestnut waves, I breathe her in and grin. “Did you get the bread?”

“No, they didn’t have the right kind for Gavin.”

The last two syllables land like a bomb in my chest. I suck in a breath, but it does nothing to help me process the name she just said.

Gavin.

My stomach drops to the floor.

Anger and excitement swirl into a storm in my brain, mixing to the point that I can’t distinguish them.

Pen’s blue eyes blink up at me, and I must look as sick as I feel because she asks, “Are you okay?”

A tremor shakes my hands as I try to find the words to answer her.

It’s not him. She must be mistaken.

But I can’t confirm. I’m trapped on this couch, facing the wrong way, while unease churns in my gut.

In the mixture of voices behind me, one distinctive chuckle dances over my skin, raising every hair on my body. The deep,

hearty laugh is a sound I’ve heard so many times, but not for the last three years.

They’ve been devoid of the man behind me.

Boots thud against the floors, ominously approaching. And suddenly, anger bursts out of my storm of emotions, and I know exactly

where to direct it.