15. Gemma
Chapter 15
Gemma
A week.
That’s how long it had been since I’d seen Sasha’s face, whether in person or through my phone screen. He hadn’t attempted another video call while on the road with the team, but he kept me updated on which city he was in when they landed and always checked in to make sure I arrived home from work safely.
I had hoped time and distance would lessen the pull he seemed to have on me, but it only seemed to grow stronger with each passing day.
Every night, when I climbed into bed, memories of pleasure would assault me.
Sasha’s heavy body pinning mine to the mattress.
His face, glistening with arousal, peeking up at me from between my thighs.
Strong arms holding me tight as he thrust into me from behind.
Touching myself as his husky voice encouraged me from a thousand miles away.
It didn’t take long before I was reaching for my phone, pulling up the video of him stroking his thick cock, groaning my name until he came. I’d watch it on a loop, letting the sights and sounds spur me on as I snaked a hand between my legs, bringing myself to the peak as many times as I was able until I passed out.
This morning, I woke to a text Sasha had sent at 3 AM, letting me know the team had landed back in Indy and asking when he could see me again.
Immediately, I typed out a reply.
I’m available today. How soon can you get over here?
Fuck. Did that come off too eager? Was he going to think I was desperate for his dick? I mean, I was, but I didn’t want him to know that.
I expected to spend the next few hours wishing I could unsend that text. With how late he’d gotten in last night, I would be agonizing over the fact that the horny devil on my shoulder had taken over until at least lunchtime.
So I was caught completely off guard when his reply was instant. Seriously, how did this guy survive on so little sleep?
Did you forget about the naps?
Oh yeah. A memory of our cozy naptime crept into my brain, and I sighed, recalling how he’d buried his face in my hair, arms wrapped around me as he drifted off.
I physically shook my head to snap out of it.
I couldn’t let this become about anything more than sex. I had to close myself off to any emotional attachment.
A normal person would lay out those parameters to the person they were sleeping with, but I didn’t have the energy to combat Sasha’s charmingly convincing personality. The man literally never took no for an answer. Trust me, I’d tried.
Sasha: What time is your shift later?
No shift later. Was supposed to work a double, but there was a last-minute change. I’m free all day.
Sasha: Then it’s my lucky day because I’m off too. You cool if I pop over in like an hour?
I peeked down at my pajamas and groaned.
An hour wasn’t much time to get myself ready for a day of marathon sex. I needed a shower, a shave, and time to go shopping for lingerie, but that wasn’t going to happen. What was the point? In the end, it would become glorified wrapping paper, lying shredded on the ground in a quest to uncover the gift concealed beneath.
Fuck it. I’d figure it out.
Sure. See you soon.
Throwing my phone on the bed, I made a mad dash for the bathroom. I was only an hour away from entertaining a sex god, and the clock was ticking.
The knock at the door had my heart rate skyrocketing.
This was it.
I tugged at the hem of the oversized T-shirt I decided to wear. My legs were bare, and I wore nothing underneath, offering enticing, easy access.
My mind raced, trying to imagine how this would play out.
Would he lift me into his arms, making me feel weightless again as he carried me to the bedroom where he’d dominate my body in a way only he ever had? Or would we not even make it upstairs, with him bending me over the couch, too desperate to be inside me? My knees threatened to buckle at the idea of him dropping down and burying his face between my thighs, his skilled tongue sending me soaring.
Another round of knocks snapped me out of it, but my breathing had grown shallow just thinking about what we were about to do.
Placing a hand to my chest, trying to calm myself, I stepped to the door, bracing for the December chill to hit my bare skin.
When I flung it open, my resulting shiver had nothing to do with the temperature. Sasha’s hungry gaze was enough to convince me he was going to devour me whole, and God help me, I wanted to let him.
He was even more gorgeous than I remembered.
Golden hair hanging loose today, the long strands whipped around his face as the wind picked up.
A sharp jawline covered with the tiniest bit of barely visible scruff had my thighs clenching, thinking of how rough it would feel between them.
Brilliant blue eyes filled with heat warmed me from the inside out.
I now understood why people willingly sold their souls to the devil. I was beginning to believe that being the object of Sasha Gusev’s desire would be enough to have me signing on the dotted line for eternal damnation.
While I was drinking him in, he was scanning me from head to toe. When he realized how little I was wearing, he sucked in a sharp breath before a hand flew up to cover his eyes.
“Get dressed.”
That doused the fire, and I stepped back like I’d been slapped.
Reality crashed down hard that, of course, he hadn’t come here for sex. He’d gotten what he wanted from me, and being a “nice guy,” he wanted to come and tell me in person that whatever we had going was over.
“I get it.” My voice was small as I backed away.
Guess this is what I get for not having a mom around to tell me that putting out was the quickest way to lose a guy’s interest.
“Gemma.” His warning growl had me stopping dead in my tracks.
My head dropped back with a heavy sigh. “No need to drag this out. We had some fun, and now it’s over. See? I did it for you. Now you can leave.”
Sasha huffed out a disbelieving laugh. “Leave? Baby, what in the world gave you the idea that I could walk away from you?”
Mouth dropping open, I stared at the man standing in my doorway, hand still clasped over his eyes.
“Then why are you refusing to look at me, demanding I get dressed?” I was so confused.
He took a giant step forward, reaching blindly with his free hand to shut the door. It slammed so hard that I yelped.
That deep, sexy voice was back as he said, “Because if I look at you right now, all my plans for the day go right out the window. I’ll be forced to throw you over my shoulder and fuck you into oblivion. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll need to make a trip back to the DMV for a handicap placard because you won’t be able to walk.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
Black spots danced in my vision, and that’s when I realized I’d stopped breathing.
“Breathe, baby.”
Just like that, my lungs expanded on command, and I managed to rasp, “I’m okay with that plan.”
His chuckle had my toes curling into the carpet. “Tempting, Kitten, but I have somewhere I want to take you. So hustle your lush ass up those stairs and put on some clothes because I’m dying to see you.”
We were going out?
That was a direct contradiction to what I was allowing this relationship to be—sex only. Had I not been devastated only moments ago at the idea of him walking out that door forever, I might’ve ensured we didn’t leave the house by making a move on him and testing the limits of his restraint. But the memory of that perceived rejection was still too fresh in my mind, and that’s what had me climbing the stairs and preparing to go wherever he planned to take me.
“Wait. I thought you said you had the day off.” I couldn’t hold back my confusion as our destination—Speed Arena—came into view.
“I do,” Sasha replied, his hand gliding over the steering wheel as he turned into a back entrance that brought us to a security checkpoint with a manned gatehouse.
“Then what are we doing here?” I asked, but he held up a finger, cutting me off as he rolled down his window.
An older gentleman bent down to peek into the low sports car. “Goose! Almost thought you weren’t coming today.” When he caught sight of me in the passenger seat, he chuckled. “Oh, I see. I’d be running behind if I had a pretty young woman to distract me, too.”
Sasha flashed me a dazzling grin before turning back to the man. “Jerry, this is Gemma.”
“Gemma.” Jerry offered me a nod. “Nice to meet you. You’ve got one of the good ones with Goose here.” Before I could respond, he directed his following words at Sasha. “You’re the last one here. Everyone else is already inside.”
The last ones here? What was he dragging me into?
Jerry must have pressed a button to raise the barrier, and Sasha drove into a parking structure seemingly attached to the arena.
“What are we doing here?” I asked, my anxiety shooting through the roof.
He gripped my trembling hand, interlacing our fingers and gently squeezing. “It’s a surprise.”
The confines of the sports car grew smaller with each passing minute, my chest tightening as I struggled to breathe.
“I don’t do well with surprises. Sasha, please.” I cursed how weak my voice sounded.
The desperate plea had his eyes shifting toward me as he drove. When he caught sight of me, his smile slipped. Hitting the brakes, he put the car in park before shifting to capture my face in his massive hands.
“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s just a Christmas party. I wanted to show you off. That’s all.” He managed to get his torso far enough over the center console that he could press his forehead to mine, breathing out, “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
The haze of panic cleared, and embarrassment crept in to take its place.
Would I ever walk into a situation and not fear that it was an ambush, that someone had betrayed me?
Oh, how I wished I could snap my fingers and undo the conditioning drilled into my head from a young age—to distrust everyone and everything, that nothing was ever as it seemed.
When was my past ever going to let me go?
I hated that I already knew the answer: never.
I couldn’t change my family any more than a zebra could change its stripes. So long as Bellini blood ran through my veins, I would be a target on someone’s list.
The bottom line was that I could never be “normal.”
It was bad enough that I had been doomed since the moment I was born; I refused to pull Sasha into my messy life.
“I can’t do this.” I didn’t just mean the party.
“No. What you can’t do is shut me out. Let me carry your burdens.” His thumbs stroked my cheeks, his breath fanning over my lips.
Wry laughter sounded in the enclosed cabin. “They would crush you.”
“Try me,” he shot back. “I’m pretty strong.”
“Sasha.” I sighed.
“How about this? We make the same deal as last time.”
I pulled back enough to meet his eye. “What deal?”
Those pearly whites peeked at me as Sasha’s grin grew. “The one where you agreed to one date, and if you didn’t enjoy our time together, I’d leave you alone.”
He failed to mention the part where I tried to let him down gently after that one date, and he’d worked his way into my bed instead.
“Not sure how that translates to this situation,” I argued.
“It’s simple. You meet my friends. If you don’t have a good time, we never have to hang out with them again.”
My jaw dropped. “You’re telling me you would pick me over your friends?”
Shrugging, he replied, “Sure, why not?”
“Why not?” I scoffed, repeating his words. “Maybe because they’re not just your friends, they’re your co-workers?”
“More like brothers, but who’s keeping track?” Oooh, there was that smirk again—the infuriating one.
I pulled my head from his grasp and leaned it against the headrest, my heavy exhale sounding loudly in the tight space. “You make it sound so simple.”
Fingers turned my face until I was staring directly into his eyes. “Because it is. You’re the most important person in my world, Gemma. What’s it going to take for you to realize that?”
The only way to hide from the intensity of his stare—the one that told me he believed every word he said—was to close my eyes. “You can’t say things like that.”
When he ghosted a kiss over my lips, I couldn’t help but sigh.
“What am I allowed to say? Is there an approved list? I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, baby.”
“Can we—after today, that is—can we keep this more surface level?”
When I cracked an eye open, I caught a rare frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. It twisted me up inside, knowing I was the one dulling his shine. That’s exactly why I had to pull back and set boundaries if we planned to continue doing whatever this thing between us was.
“What does that mean, surface level?”
Chewing on the corner of my lip, I finally worked up the courage to explain, “I don’t have it in me to offer you something deeper than a purely physical relationship. It’s clear you’re hoping for more, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.”
“So, you’ll meet my friends?” Hope lit up his face.
My hands flailed as I tried to make sense of his reaction. “Did you not hear anything I just said?”
“Sure, I did.” Sasha nodded. “You’re only interested in sex.”
I sputtered. “And you’re okay with that?” Honestly, I thought that was going to be a dealbreaker.
“Mm-hmm. Ready to go in?” He didn’t wait for my response before shifting the car into gear and pulling into a parking space.
I was still reeling when he jumped out, rounding the trunk to open my door and offering me his hand.
Once again, he’d rendered me speechless.
Is there something in the water?
That was my first thought when stepping into the locker room deep within the heart of Speed Arena.
No less than a dozen kids were running around, laughing and screaming at the top of their lungs. I’d counted at least five pregnant women. And was that a triple stroller in the corner?
Was this a hockey team or some kind of cult where they felt compelled to single-handedly repopulate the Earth?
I wasn’t sure how long I stood there staring, but I quickly snapped back to reality when a warm voice said, “You must be Gemma.”
Startled, my eyes snapped to find a redheaded man walking our way. Sensing my discomfort, Sasha grabbed my hand, letting me grip it tightly.
Nervous laughter bubbled up from my chest as the man reached us. “That’s me.”
He extended a hand. “Jenner Knight, Goose’s captain. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
I peeked up at Sasha; he gave me an encouraging smile, followed by a light bump with his shoulder to remind me that I’d left Jenner hanging.
My palm clasped Jenner’s, and we shook. “Sorry if I appear a little shell-shocked,” I apologized. “Sasha didn’t give me any warning that I’d be thrown into the deep end today. Still trying to wrap my head around it.”
“Sasha?” Jenner raised an eyebrow, eyes shifting to the man standing beside me.
“That’s my name, isn’t it?” Sasha replied.
“Suppose it is. Just never heard anyone call you that before.” Shaking his head as if to clear it, Jenner leaned toward me conspiratorially, dropping his voice. “If I can offer some advice?” I nodded, so he continued, “Steer clear of Maddox, and you’ll survive your first Speed event just fine.”
Peeking around the room, I asked, “Which one is Maddox?”
Pulling back, Jenner’s grin grew a mile wide. “You can’t miss him. He’s the only one of us who hardly ever smiles.”
Is constant cheer as contagious as pregnancy around here?
Sasha’s booming laughter and Jenner’s gentle snickering alerted me to the fact that I’d said that out loud.
I slapped a hand over my mouth, muffling my resulting, “Oh my God.”
The chatter in the room died down as several sets of eyes zeroed in on me, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
Jenner slapped his thigh. “Damn, I can see why Goose likes you so much.”
Arm dropping to my side, I groaned. “That was so rude. I’m sorry.”
He tossed me a wink. “No apologies needed. Especially when you’ve nailed us. We are in the midst of a baby boom, it would seem. I, myself, have three one-year-olds.”
My eyes about damn near bulged out of my head, and my jaw hit the floor. “Did you say three ?”
Jenner chuckled, clearly not offended by my horrified expression. “Yeah, we get that a lot.” Shrugging, he added, “Came as one hell of a surprise for me and my wife, Evie, too. But we wouldn’t change it for the world.”
“Uh-huh.” The mere thought of having three babies at once was enough to give me nightmares.
“I’ll let the two of you get settled. Should be a fun afternoon.” With a smile, he turned and walked across the room to where a blonde woman sat holding a redheaded toddler in her lap, two more sitting in what had now been confirmed to be a triple stroller.
“You okay?” Sasha’s lips brushed against my ear.
“Undecided.” I was about to use up all the energy in my social batteries this afternoon; I couldn’t afford to waste any on the man who’d dragged me here unknowingly.
“You’ve already won Jenner over. I’m sure everyone else is going to love you too.”
He had no clue that I was out of my depth. Sure, I could chat up customers at the bar, but those were superficial interactions. I didn’t know what it was like to have long-standing friendships—what kind of conversations were acceptable or how I was expected to interact.
These were Sasha’s people, his extended family in a sense, and I didn’t want to fuck this up.
Talk about a pressure cooker.
“Let’s get you set up with a pair of skates.”
I whipped my head to the side. “Skates?”
Sasha flashed me a grin. “Yeah, it’s a Christmas party.”
Scanning the room, I realized almost every person was working on lacing up skates, either on their feet or one of the children’s.
Dropping my voice, I confessed, “I can’t skate.”
Like it was no big deal, he shrugged. “I’ll teach you.”
Even though I dug in my heels slightly, Sasha tugged me across the room toward a bench seat along the wall, and a cubby with a nameplate reading Gusev and the number thirty beside it.
Spinning me around with hands on my shoulders, he gently urged me to sit before dropping to his knees before me. Barely an hour ago, I’d been excited at the prospect of him kneeling before me. This certainly wasn’t the kind of “fun” I’d had in mind with him in this position.
Reaching under the bench, he produced a pair of skates.
I frowned. “Are those yours?”
Blue eyes sparkled. “No, babe. These are yours.”
“M-mine? But I don’t have skates.”
“You do now.”
At a loss for words, I stared at him, eyeing what appeared to be a brand-new pair of skates.
Sasha was unsuccessful at holding back a sexy smirk. “Cat got your tongue?”
Some of the tension holding my muscles rigid eased at his playful nature.
Tilting my head, I retorted, “I thought I was the cat?”
Pursing his lips, he nodded. “You know what? You’re right.” An arm snaked out, and his massive palm gripped the back of my head, pulling me closer. Voice growing husky, he murmured, “Don’t be a greedy girl, Gemma. Share that tongue with me.”
He closed the gap, fusing his mouth to mine, teasing the seam of my lips until I opened for him. Our chests were pressed together, and I could feel the vibration of his groan, even if I couldn’t hear it with the blood rushing in my ears. Fingers tangled in my hair, turning my head to the side so he could dive deeper, commanding the kiss. Whimpering, I gripped his shoulders, needing an anchor as lust made me lightheaded when he hooked my thigh over his hip and pressed the rigid outline of his cock right where I needed him.
Fuck yes, more of that.
“Get a room!” someone shouted, and I came back to my senses, tearing my lips away so forcefully that I fell backward into the open cubby.
Completely unphased, Sasha’s head whipped around, shouting back, “That’s rich coming from the guy who christened the sin bin at Comets Arena!”
“Yeah, well, at least the entire team wasn’t there watching on like we were a mating documentary on the nature channel.”
A feminine voice muttered, “Should have never written that book.”
A second woman chimed in. “Hush, you. If you never wrote that book, neither of us would have ended up here in Indy.”
Deciding it was best to keep a low profile after being caught making out in a crowded room, I didn’t make a move to sit up as the bickering continued with Sasha as an active participant, shooting barbs back and forth.
I yelped, jolting so hard that my head banged against the back of the stall when a male voice boomed, “If you idiots don’t cut it out, I’ll drag you down to the practice rink and have you skating suicides instead of enjoying a nice day off with your families.”
“Your wife was involved. You gonna make her skate, too?” a random voice called out, tinged with a hint of humor.
The resulting growl was so scary I almost pissed myself.
“Okay, guys. We should probably cool it. He’s starting to scare the kids,” one of the women from earlier said.
“Bristol.” That terrifyingly gruff voice groaned in exasperation.
Oh, I knew that name. That was the pregnant young redhead I met the day I’d stormed into the arena, guns blazing, to tell Sasha to leave me the hell alone. For how much good that had done me.
“Honey, we were only having a little bit of fun when we caught Goose and his girl going at it like they were teenagers in the backseat of a car.”
I locked eyes with Sasha, whose face paled the tiniest bit at having been ratted out to whoever this guy was.
“Seriously? This is a family event, man. Try to have some self-control,” the man snapped.
“Yep.” Sasha peeked over his shoulder, gesturing with a mock salute. “Got it, Coach.”
Eventually, the chatter resumed, and I took a steadying breath.
“You can come out now. He’s gone.” I allowed Sasha to pull me into a sitting position. His smile was back in place, and he gripped my hip, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Look at you, getting me into all kinds of trouble.”
With his large frame blocking my view of the center of the room, I dared to lean to the side, attempting to peek around him. “Who was that?”
“ That was Maddox.”
“Jesus,” I breathed out, a shudder rolling through me.
“He’s not that bad. His bark is worse than his bite.” He leaned in, placing his lips beside my ear. “Just like someone else I know.”
That had a paralyzing thought coming to the forefront of my mind.
Oh, God. How many of his teammates had seen my public meltdown at the DMV? Obviously, Sasha got off on it, but I remembered Enzo saying the comments on social media were less than kind. I could only imagine what they thought of me.
“No, no, no. Don’t get in your head.” Panic seeped into Sasha’s tone.
I pushed on his chest, and he pulled back enough to give me breathing room.
“They all know how we met, don’t they?”
He couldn’t hide the truth in his eyes. “Yeah, babe, they do.”
I tried to stand, to run, but his grip on my hips kept me seated.
“Look at me,” Sasha commanded softly. When my eyes darted about the room, desperately searching for a way out, his voice grew firm. “Gemma. Eyes on me.”
I was dizzy; my vision swam, colors swirling and blending together. My gaze shifted in his direction, but I couldn’t focus on his face.
Slowly, his hands ran up my sides until they cupped my face. “Hey. Listen to me.”
Blue. It was blue that brought me back to reality.
I honed on those brilliant-colored eyes, filled with concern, as I concentrated on taking deeper, steadying breaths.
Thumbs stroked over my cheeks, soothing me. “Just because they were all joking around like they didn’t have a care in a world doesn’t mean every single one of them doesn’t have baggage. And if you think no one’s ever caught it on camera, you can think again. Maddox once had to take a leave of absence from coaching after he barked at Bristol during an interview because his demons caught up with him at the wrong time. Though she wasn’t his wife yet at the point.”
My eyes widened. “Bristol? She’s his wife?” For some reason, I couldn’t picture that bright, peppy girl matched up with a fire-breathing dragon.
Sasha chuckled. “Total mismatch, I know. But it works.”
The pieces clicked, and I blurted, “She’s a reporter.”
“Yup.” He popped the P, nodding. “Took them a while to figure out how to balance their personal and professional relationships. And don’t you worry about her. After he went off, she marched her ass right down the hallway, hot on his heels, to give him a piece of her mind. The man had to eat crow and issue a public apology in front of the press.”
“Huh.”
“See? You have nothing to worry about.”
“Easy for you to say,” I grumbled. “I probably gave off the appearance of a mental institution escapee in that video.”
“For what it’s worth, I thought it was adorable, and my opinion is the only one that matters.”
Laughing, I shoved at him. “Yeah, well, you were only looking to get into my pants.”
That had me peeking at his crotch, and my teeth dug into my lower lip at the memory of the weapon hidden by snug-fitting denim.
“Careful, babe,” he warned. “You’re gonna make me hard again, and there’s only so much temptation I can take before I cave.”
“You sure you don’t want to just take me home? I’m sure we could have a lot more fun on our own.” I made sure we were alone before I placed my hand on his jean-clad thigh, feeling the muscles twitch beneath my palm.
Sasha cleared his throat, but his voice still came out rough. “Nice try. How about this? You play nice with my friends for a bit, and then the two of us can play rough later?”
My eyes slid closed on a moan. The promise of him railing me hard, sending me soaring, was enough to get me to agree to anything.
His chuckle warmed my insides. “I’ll take that as a yes.”