30. Goose
Chapter 30
Goose
There was a weight settled over my chest. I knew instantly it was Gemma.
Her scent surrounded me, but when I went to slide a hand through her hair, for some reason, my arm wouldn’t cooperate. Nor could I force my eyes open to catch a glimpse of her beautiful face, most likely relaxed in sleep.
Huh. That’s strange.
I felt her shift above me, then the brush of her fingertips over my face.
Why the fuck can’t I open my eyes? I want to look at her!
“Baby, please.” Gemma’s voice broke, and alarm bells sounded in my brain. “Please wake up.”
I’m trying, I swear.
“It’s been a week since they weaned you off sedation, and your scans look good, so the doctors say there’s no reason you shouldn’t be awake by now.”
Doctors? What’s she talking about?
Like a flip was switched, I recalled driving to the arena and swerving to avoid a collision, only to end up rolling my car. I couldn’t remember anything past that.
Gemma sniffled, and the pieces fell into place.
I must be in the hospital after the crash.
Then, my heart sank as her words finally made sense.
She was begging me to wake up after a week of unconsciousness. And focusing all my energy on lifting my eyelids yielded zero results, though I could still hear her voice.
I was in a coma.
“I’m so sorry.” Gemma muffled a sob against my chest.
It’s not your fault, baby.
“I love you, Sasha. Please come back to me.”
I love you, too.
I’d spent months praying I would hear those words fall from her lips, but never could I have imagined being unable to vocalize my love in return.
This must be what Hell feels like.
Words were whispered in Russian, and it took a minute for my brain to translate the language of my childhood.
“Aleks, watch over our boy.”
Shit, my mom was here. And she was begging my dad to look out for me.
“He’s too young. He’s all I have left of you. I can’t lose him too.”
I didn’t know much about comas, but I had to assume that if I could hear and have thoughts, I wasn’t brain-dead. That had to be a good sign, right? Maybe my body just needed a minute to heal.
That’s the hope I clung to as the people I loved suffered.
“Hey, man.”
This time, it was Jenner’s voice that broke through the darkness.
My captain let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but Gemma’s a fucking mess.”
Was he trying to rip my heart out?
“She needs you to fight your way outta this.”
You think I don’t know that?
“She refuses to leave your side to take care of herself. She’s not eating. And the bags under her eyes would suggest she’s not sleeping. The girls have been taking turns washing the three outfits she stuffed into a duffle bag the one time she went home, and only because your mom was here.”
Jenner cleared his throat before continuing.
“She, um . . . She told the staff here that she’s your wife.”
My ears perked up. He sure as hell had my attention now.
“Maddox thinks she’s full of shit.”
Typical.
“But she’s got a rock sitting on her left hand. Looks pretty fucking real.”
That news had my world coming to a screeching halt.
She’s wearing the ring? Holy shit, this is huge!
You’re in a coma, remember? Her wearing that ring means nothing if you don’t wake up.
“I won’t be mad if you snuck off behind our backs and tied the knot. I know what it’s like to get caught up in love. And if you’re not married? Then you better lock that girl down the minute you open your eyes because she’s as devoted as they come.”
That’s the plan, brother. Just been waiting for her to get on board.
“You’re never gonna believe this,” Maddox began. “But I’m some poor kid’s dad.”
Bristol had the baby? How long have I been out?
“Everything went perfectly, but it was still the most stressful fucking day of my life. It was like being transported back to those early days of coaching, where I was stuck behind the bench, with my hands tied, being so close to the action but unable to help in any way that truly mattered.” He chuckled. “And you know what I kept thinking the whole time?”
No. What?
“That you would have been completely unruffled standing in my shoes. You’re always so cool under pressure, and I could’ve used a little bit of that when I was freaking out on the inside. Then, I was handed this small, helpless little human, and it scared the living shit out of me that they were completely dependent on me. You’re such a natural with kids. I bet you’re gonna make a great dad someday.”
That’s the dream.
“We had a boy.” Maddox’s swallow was audible, and his voice grew gruff. “Kittridge Sasha Sterling.”
Good thing I was already lying down because that would have knocked me on my ass.
“We’re gonna call him Kit.”
Shit, that’s just fucking adorable.
I couldn’t wait to cuddle with the newest Speed baby.
“So, all we need now is for his godfather to wake up.”
Buddy, if I could snap my fingers and make it happen, I would. It’s not as easy as everyone makes it sound.
“Dude, your dog is just as hyper as you.” Braxton’s humor-filled voice reached my ears. “I always thought I wanted one, but I’m starting to re-evaluate. His energy level is off the charts, and he’s wearing me out.”
Yeah, he really is the best.
“So, I wanted to drop by and let you know I’ve reconsidered my stance on that bet you wanted to make a while back.”
Wait. What bet?
“You know, the one where you wanted to see who could knock up their girl first?” He let out a soft laugh. “It’s the damnedest thing. Dakota’s been around Ollie and Bailey, and Jenner’s trio of ginger babies, but the minute she held Kit in the hospital, she looked right at me and said she was ready. Shocked the hell outta me, but I’m not gonna say no. That’s the last missing piece of the puzzle in my picture of our future.”
I was happy for him. He’d wanted this for a long time.
“So, we’re officially trying, and it won’t be any fun if I’m competing against myself. And I can fully condone this bet now that it’s come to light that you’re married . Like, what the hell? I know I was apprehensive about your relationship with Gemma, but I wish you’d told us. We would have wanted to be there for you like you’ve always been there for us.”
It was almost laughable. There was nothing to tell, and no one had missed out on anything, but I had to hand it to my resourceful girl. She’d found a way to ensure no one could force her from my side while I battled my way back to her.
Gemma’s scent filled my nostrils, setting my mind at ease. Having her close was the only bright spot in this seriously fucked up situation I’d found myself in.
Softly, she whispered, “I miss you.”
I’m right here, baby.
Being stuck in limbo like this was a fate worse than death.
As I did every time I felt Gemma’s hair brush my fingertips, I tried to move my hand, to glide my touch through the silky locks and offer her comfort.
A gasp sounded. “Sasha?”
The monitor measuring my heart rate beeped at a faster clip, and I attempted the move again.
“Oh my God.” Gemma’s body shifted, and her palm slid against mine. “Baby, can you squeeze my hand?”
Focusing all my energy on our connection, I willed my fingers close around hers.
“That’s it! You’re doing it!” Her beautiful voice took on a high-pitched, excited quality that made my heart sing.
If my limbs were obeying, maybe it was time to try opening my eyes again.
I can do this. She needs me.
They were heavy, but my eyelids cracked open the tiniest bit, and light peeked through.
Warm hands cradled my face as wetness splashed onto my cheeks from above. Pressure on my forehead indicated Gemma’s was pressed against mine. And she was crying tears of joy instead of sadness.
Her shaky inhale sounded as I managed to raise my lids a bit more, desperate to lay eyes on the woman I loved—the woman I was going to marry.
“I’m gonna go get a doctor.”
The loss of her touch made me shiver, and I croaked out, barely above a whisper, “Stay.”
“Sasha,” she tried to protest.
“Please.” I coughed, choking on something in the back of my throat.
Gemma rushed to my side as I raised a hand to my neck, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
“Hey, calm down.”
I let out a frustrated noise, my nose wrinkling, and that’s when I felt a tightness on my cheek. My touch traveled higher, and my fingers palpated over a tube extending from my nostril, rough tape holding it in place on my face.
“Your feeding tube,” Gemma explained.
Swallowing against the tube, I groaned at the uncomfortable sensation. “Want it out.”
I finally forced my eyes open the rest of the way, and my stunning girl’s face came fully into view. She might be sporting glassy, red-rimmed eyes with dark circles beneath them, but she was still the most beautiful woman alive. Her haggard appearance only highlighted how much she loved me in return.
Her feisty spirit rose to the surface, and she threw both hands on her hips. “I’m not qualified to do that job. So, you’re gonna have to make a choice. Which do you want more? For me to stay, or for me to step into the hallway for two seconds to grab a medical professional who might be able to help you?”
My chest rumbled, but I surrendered to her logic. “Fine. Come right back.”
Gemma’s gaze softened. “Of course.”
She disappeared from sight, quickly returning with a nurse in dark blue scrubs.
The nurse smiled, teasing, “Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Gusev.” She approached to check my vitals displayed on the monitor beside the bed.
I went to move my left arm to beckon Gemma back to my side and frowned. It was heavy, weighted down, and I shifted my gaze to find it wrapped in a cast that kept my elbow bent at a ninety-degree angle.
“Yeah.” Gemma sighed. “You broke a few ribs, too.”
“How long?”
“Few more weeks. The doctor said it was a clean break.”
That wasn’t what I meant. I couldn’t care less about waiting for my arm to heal.
Taking a deep breath through my nose, I tried again. “What’s the date?”
Understanding dawned, and she sat on the side of the bed, pulling the hand of my uninjured arm into her lap. “March 7 th .”
Fuck. I’d been out of it for a whole month?
The nurse spoke. “I’m going to page the doctor in charge of your case and let him know you’re awake. He’ll want to pop up here and check on you, run some cognitive tests.”
Gemma thanked her, but when she turned to leave, I halted her with my raspy words. “Tube. Take it out.”
The woman spun back around. “I can’t do that without orders from your doctor.”
“No.”
If she wasn’t going to help me, I would do it myself. Lifting my hand out of Gemma’s hold, I ripped the tape from my cheek, hissing at the sting.
Eyes wide, the nurse jumped into action. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.”
“Sasha,” Gemma chided.
Giving me a stern look, the nurse explained, “I have to go get the necessary supplies for removal. Think you can hold off on ripping it out long enough for me to do that?”
“I’ll make sure he behaves,” Gemma answered for me.
The nurse nodded and left the room, muttering something about difficult patients, thinking they knew better than doctors.
“You have to let them do their jobs,” Gemma scolded softly. “They’ve taken really good care of you.”
I made a mental note to apologize after this damn tube was removed from my throat.
Wheeling a cart, the nurse stepped back into the room. She washed her hands at a sink in the corner before donning latex gloves and pressing a button on the side of my bed, which raised the top portion until I was in a seated position.
“This isn’t gonna feel great,” she warned, placing a paper sheet over my chest.
“Don’t care.”
She pinched the tube near my nostril, coaching, “Take a deep breath.”
I sucked in air, and that’s when she pulled, coaxing the tube through my nose. I gagged and sputtered as it slid along the back of my throat, coughing violently once it was fully removed.
My hand rose to rest along my throat, and I gave a few test swallows. “Thank you.”
“Doctor should be down soon.” She wrapped the discarded tubing in the sterile sheet and threw the whole thing into a trash can in the corner before removing her gloves.
Gemma returned to my bedside, and I snaked my arm out to pull her close.
Her fingertips traced along my face slowly, like she was still in disbelief that I was awake.
I hated that she’d been put through Hell at my expense. My chest ached, imagining the agony of our positions being reversed and having to watch on, helpless, while she fought a battle no one could help her with.
Turning my head, I kissed the center of her palm. Capturing her wrist, I flipped her left hand over. The room was dim, but the few lights reflected off the diamond resting on the fourth finger.
Her too-pale face pinkened at the cheeks, and she dropped her gaze.
I wasn’t going to let her hide from me. Tipping her chin up, I forced her to look me in the eye.
Gemma swallowed. “Sasha, I can explain—”
“You know what this means, don’t you?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Good. Just making sure.”
As her eyes filled with tears, her lower lip trembled, and she buried her face in my chest. “I’m so sorry.”
Finally able to run my finger through her hair, I stroked the soft tresses, soothing both of us. “Sorry for what, baby?”
Her words were muffled. “This. You getting hurt. It’s all my fault.”
“Honey, I was driving too fast, and some idiot changed lanes without signaling. I jerked the wheel too hard and spun out.”
“No.” Gemma lifted her head. “It was my father.”
My eyebrows drew down. “What are you talking about?”
“He . . . He came to see me.”
I clutched her tighter to me. “What? When?”
Then I remembered the night she broke down when I got home from the road late and her jumpy behavior the few days before the accident. Suddenly, it all made sense.
Tears fell freely down her cheeks, and a soft sob flew past her lips.
“Fuck, Kitten. You’re breaking my heart.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, almost as if the memory was too painful. “He wanted me to have you throw games.”
“What?”
Gemma gave a quick shake of her head as if to clear it. “That’s not right. What he asked was for me to find a way to keep you from playing. He needed the Speed to lose the games on your West Coast trip.”
“Why?”
Sighing, she lifted her lashes, hitting me with that stunning hazel gaze. “He runs the sports betting division of the family business. He planned to cheat his bettors out of money. Taking all the bets placed on the Speed to win and leveraging it on your competition with terrible odds, with the expectation that if I could get you to not play, he would rake in the cash.”
“You should have told me.” I used my thumb to wipe away the wetness marking her beautiful face.
“He threatened me.” My jaw tightened, but she continued before I could utter a word in response. “Made it sound like if I didn’t do what he said, he’d kill me.”
“Fuck, Gemma.”
“I knew if I told you, you wouldn’t think twice about compromising your morals to save me.”
“You’re damn straight.”
She sighed. “But what you don’t understand is that if I gave in to his demands, it would only be a matter of time before he returned, asking for more. We’d be caught in a vicious cycle. So, I made peace with my punishment, knowing you would remain untouched.”
That ring might be a physical symbol of her devotion to me, but it paled in comparison to the admission that she was willing to lay down her life to protect me—literally.
My fearless girl.
“I never thought . . .” Her voice broke. “I never thought he’d come after you.”
“How can you be so sure it wasn’t all a poorly timed coincidence?”
“I went to the game the night of your accident. Bristol came down to my seat and told me you never arrived. Then I got a text from an unknown number taunting me that I was na?ve to think my life would be the one he took for failing to deliver.”
As the information sank in, I let out a huff of disbelief. “All of this over money?”
Gemma let out a dejected sigh. “I think, at the end of the day, that was just an excuse. He was looking for a way to force me into obedience after years of defiance, to prove that he was the one in charge because it was a bad look for a man in his position not to have control over any woman, let alone his own daughter.” Her voice grew small. “You must hate me.”
“I could never hate you.” When she buried her face further against my chest, and tears soaked through the fabric of my hospital gown, I begged, “Baby, look at me.”
She peeked up, her eyes filled with so much sadness it shredded my heart.
If there was anything I’d learned over the course of our relationship, it was that words weren’t enough. So, it was time to show her how I intended to spin this whole situation.
“Let me have my arm for a minute.”
Gemma frowned but sat up.
“Lift my sleeve for me.”
She cocked her head in question but did as I asked.
When the phrase tattooed on my bicep came into view, I asked, “Remember this? It holds true now.”
“I almost got you killed,” she protested. “Not sure how you’re going to find your mythical silver lining.”
“I already have,” I confessed.
“You have?” Gemma eyed me skeptically.
“A few bumps and bruises and a long nap were a small price to pay to have the woman of my dreams admit she loves me back.”
Her jaw dropped. “You heard all that?”
“Every word.” I smirked. Cupping her jaw, I whispered, “I love you, Gemma.”
Eyes sparkling with unshed tears, she threw her arms around my neck. “You’re the first person to ever say that to me.”
“I won’t be the last,” I vowed.
A watery laugh sounded against my neck. “We’ll see.”
Running a hand up the length of her back, I teased, “So, how’s this gonna work? Do I need to pretend to be asleep for you to tell me again?”
Even though I couldn’t see her, I knew she was giving me the mother of all eye rolls. “Not funny.”
“Don’t mind me.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Just wondering how a woman brave enough to lie to medical staff about a relationship status is too afraid to say she loves her fake husband—technically, her real fiancé if we’re splitting hairs—to his face. That’s all.”
Lifting her head, she brushed her lips against mine for the first time since I’d awoken. “I love you, Sasha.”
“That’s better.” I sighed.
The tender moment was short-lived, however, because she hit me with a dose of that sharp tongue that always got my blood pumping. “Now don’t go doing anything stupid like dying on me for real because I can’t do this again.”
Holding her close, I whispered against her temple. “Yes, dear.”
Happy wife, happy life, right?