Chapter 12 – June
CHAPTER TWELVE
JUNE
Seth ordered us all lunch in flawless Italian, and I found myself sitting between him and Bennett at a table outside, enjoying the soft breeze as they chatted about the liquor business they apparently share.
And for the first time in my entire life, I felt like I belonged .
Bennett left us after lunch. Seth spent the rest of the afternoon dragging me around London to stores I’ve never even heard of, like a furniture store with a huge comfy leather chair that caught my eye.
By the time we made it back to the townhouse, I could feel myself dragging. I rallied my energy to shower, but now that I’m in my — suddenly clean — pajamas, I’m wide awake, staring at the ceiling of the guest bedroom.
The lingering happiness from earlier has soured. My parents still haven’t contacted me, and I don’t think they care. Janet said to take time off in her last email, that we’d iron out the details after the heat is over — but with nothing to occupy my mind, it’s spiraling.
Seth and I walked in earlier as Theo was disappearing up the stairs. My eyes snagged on the large alpha immediately, his back ramrod straight, stalking away from us. I think he hates me — he wouldn’t even look back even when Seth called his name.
What he said this morning was cruel, especially since I’m only trying to navigate this as best as I can without putting myself at risk — but maybe there’s a kernel of truth to it. Maybe I’m taking advantage, maybe I should have told Seth no today, maybe I shouldn’t be looking at Bennett so much.
But I don’t have the luxury to pack my things and leave.
My phone lies discarded beside me as my mind spins, tabs still open from the research I did ten minutes ago about omegas and heats and emerging. Most of the forum posts are from omegas, barely eighteen, navigating it with other teenagers. There’s nothing from adults suddenly thrust into this — raging emotions, symptoms that make a period look positively fun — the sheer thought of the heat I’m racing toward makes my throat close.
There’s really only two options: go through it alone, or be okay with Seth… and maybe Bennett’s help.
Someone posted a list of recommended toys, including knotted vibrators and thrusting dildos. I’d thrown my phone down after reading someone saying that she still couldn’t do it without an alpha next to her, the pheromones and the alpha’s scent helping ease the anxiety and panic attacks from feeling unwanted.
Seth and Bennett are in a loving and committed relationship. Who am I to get between them? How much of this is just hormones and biology?
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I sit up, my stomach rising to my throat as I crawl out of the bed and slip out of the bedroom, the hallway and the stairs quiet. I make it to the kitchen and drink a glass of water before I hear movement down the hall and freeze. I shouldn’t be out again — Theo could come around the corner and bark at me. I shouldn’t be awake or making a nuisance of myself.
Hurrying to put the glass up, I slip into the foyer and stop short, seeing a pair of loafers near the front door, and a light on at the end of the hall, just past the living room. There’s a door open too — one that Seth didn’t show me on his brief tour, and I take a step toward it, hesitating.
I don’t want it to be Theo, because he’ll snap at me. It’s stressful, on a biological level, like my body is rejecting itself because I’ve disappointed an alpha with garbage opinions.
I ease forward, lingering just outside view of the partially open door, waffling. Before I can make a decision, an accented voice barks from inside. “Bloody hell, Theo, just come in .”
I jolt, stumbling forward. Grabbing onto the frame to steady myself, I stare wide-eyed at the man behind a desk.
His head jerks, black hair a tangle of ruffled curls as it flops over his forehead. Deep brown eyes dart up to me, just as wide as I’m sure mine are, his mouth opening amongst a scattering of a light beard. A tanned hand raises, adjusting his glasses on his broad nose, his features distinctly Indian as he freezes.
“You’re not Theo —”
“I’m sorry —”
We talk over each other and I immediately go quiet. My heartbeat pounds in my ears, my mind working overtime to catch up with what I already know — this is the other alpha and the last member of Seth’s pack.
His nostrils flare, his hand dropping away from his glasses. “The omega.” It’s barely a whisper, and I don’t think he means for me to hear it as I skitter back.
“Wait” — the alpha holds up a hand — “it’s alright.” He stands quickly and I suck in a breath, watching him rise and rise , so tall and a little gangly. I’d have to see him side by side with Theo — but I’d swear he’s even taller than the big alpha, lean and muscular, his suit rumpled.
He raises his other hand, holding them palm out like he’s trying not to startle me.
“Bennett called while I was in Paris. I got home earlier — I thought…” He pauses. “I thought you’d be asleep, or upstairs.”
His thick British accent wraps itself around me as I chew on the inside of my lip. “I was thirsty.”
The alpha frowns, stepping carefully out from behind the desk. “That’s okay, you should make yourself at home.” His eyes catch on me, scanning my sweatshirt and leggings. “Where are my manners?” His eyes soften. “I’m Arin. You can come in — if you’d like to. You can leave the door open if that would make you more comfortable.”
My fingers cramp on the doorframe, and I slowly unclench them, taking him in. He’s handsome, even in clothes that have clearly been worn for a while. He shuffles, then pulls his suit jacket off, his tailored button-up tugging around his shoulders as he throws it over the edge of the office chair.
I wet my lips, stepping forward and glancing around the office. Full shelves, a small couch, it’s very plain but clearly well-used and high quality. “I’m sorry — I —”
He looks back at me, tilting his head as he does. “I can hear your heart racing.” It misses a beat as he sucks in a breath, his shoulders sagging. “Is it me? I’m sorry if I’m making you nervous.”
“No.” I stumble over the word, staring at him. He’s so unthreatening, it’s unthinkable. “Well —” I catch myself as he looks at me seriously, like he’s worried I’ll lie to appease him. “I don’t know.” Everything feels new and scary, a stark difference to the feeling of warmth and rightness with Bennett or the toxic sparks with Theo.
This is heavy .
Arin nods, and I nearly step back when he approaches me. I don’t get more than half a step away before his scent washes over me with his newfound proximity. It’s harsh and spicy, a burning bright mint. The clean smell all over the townhouse reorients itself in my brain — not the sign of a clean house — but instead him hanging on every surface, taking space up in my brain without me even realizing it.
I try not to fold in on myself, but I fail, wrapping my arms around my torso as he slows to a stop in front of me. Arin stands for a moment, unmoving, until a low, soft rumbling sound fills the air between us, steadily growing in volume.
I blink in surprise, looking up at him as he purrs.
The tightness in my chest loosens, unfurling the small omega feeling, the insecurity that I’m weak, susceptible, unwanted.
His brown eyes snare mine, his voice soft despite the purr radiating through his chest. “Why don’t you start with your name?”
I glance down, unable to take his eyes on mine, finding his socked feet instead. He must have come in straight from the airport. I’m the reason he had to cut a business trip short.
“Juniper.”
“Hello, Juniper.”
A shiver crawls over my skin at the sound of my name on his lips, and I glance up again, watching him from under my lashes. Compared to the brief moment Bennett purred, this is different, steadier and soothing. This isn’t a surprise to him — he’s consciously purring for me and the sound is deep, like a hum resonating from the center of his chest.
There’s a cautious, but kind smile on his lips, juxtaposing the messy, scruffy shadow on his jaw and cheeks.
“Can I help you, Juniper?”
I open my mouth, closing it almost immediately before nodding.
He steps closer, and then he wraps his arms around me — not tightly, but firmly. The effect is immediate, his purr radiates through him and into my body, the scent of his perfume stuck on his clothes, saturating them — sinking into me . A sense of serenity drags me under, like blowing out a candle flame, dousing the fear and anxiety in my chest.
I turn my head on instinct, burying it into his chest, my eyes burning before tears overflow, a sob wracking through me.
Arin makes a little sound as his hand lifts, stroking the back of my head, running over my hair as he hugs me. The last week hits me like a truck, the impact making me feel off-balance. He doesn’t waver as his arms become the only things keeping me upright.
“My youngest sister emerged early as an omega. She was barely seventeen.” His voice is gentle as he guides us both over to the couch between two bookshelves. He keeps me in his arms as he sinks down, arranging me until I’m tucked against his side, partially in his lap.
“There’s five of us, if you can believe it. I’m the second oldest, and all of them are girls.” His fingers card down my hair, then brush over my shoulders, rubbing them as his chest continues to rumble. “My older sister, Theresa, is a beta. Then there’s me, the only alpha, then the twins and my youngest sister are all omegas.” He laughs softly, shaking his head. “I was the only one home when Vera started showing signs, and she had a breakdown. It’s not funny, but she was convinced it meant I’d drag her down the street and drop her off at the nearest center like she was some used clothes at a charity shop.”
Arin’s hands pull me closer and my nose finds his shoulder, inhaling in small bursts, sniffling as I sink into him.
He sighs, and his head turns, tilting down toward me. “I didn’t, to clarify. I gave her a hug, purred for a bit until she calmed down, called Mum and Dad — who rushed home —” He squints, his gaze faraway. “This was thirteen years ago, she’s five years younger than me, so you and her are probably close in age.” His eyes refocus. “She’s been with her pack for the last decade, one of them plays rugby, he’s a good guy.”
I watch as his glasses dip, slipping on the bridge of his nose. His hand stills on my back, applying the slightest pressure before he moves it, touching my cheek and using his thumb to wipe at the tear tracks.
“It’s a lot. That’s all I’m saying — it has to be.” Arin’s eyes search my face. “Whether young or old — that’s a lot of pressure for a person to suddenly have on them, especially with no support and in an unfamiliar place.” He frowns, his thumb touching under my eye. “When did you last sleep a full night?”
I pause, feeling like I can’t lie to him. Something in the back of my brain won’t let me. “Before I got to London, over a week ago.”
His eyes flash, anger, sadness, disappointment, then he readjusts us, pulling me closer without a struggle. Arin snatches a thin decorative blanket off the back of the couch and settles it over both of us, pressing me against his chest as his purr grows louder, almost like it’s being forced out.
“Close your eyes.”
I peek up at up, inhaling the minty scent, my nose burning as I nod and sink into him, resting my head against his thrumming chest and heart. Unspoken words hang in the air: is this okay? Are you comfortable? Will you rest?
I let them all fade as I wrap an arm around his torso, my eyes drifting shut as I murmur, “Thank you.”
His hand rests on my back over the blanket, his tone even. “Don’t make me command you to sleep.”
Unbidden, a little smile tugs on my lips — wouldn’t be the first time.
The hum of his purr surrounds me, the warmth radiating from him getting trapped by the blanket, creating the perfect cocoon to sink myself into. My mind goes quiet, blissfully silent as sleep sweeps in before anything can interrupt it.