Golden Rule (Kings of Cypress Pointe Golden Empire #1)

Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

TWO MONTHS LATER…

Blue

A pparently, neither the weeks of research we’ve done, nor the two months wait to get on Dr. Tyler’s schedule were enough to prepare me for this moment.

A softly spoken, “Everything will be okay,” from West alerts me that I’m tense, and I loosen my grip on his hand, only now realizing how hard I’m squeezing.

Today marks the first day of what could be our final round of treatment. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster fraught with immeasurable doubt, but ultimately, we want this. We welcome the ups and even the brutal downs. All because, if the end result is that we get to be some little one’s mom and dad, it will all have been worth it.

My thoughts shift to our recent move, to the four empty bedrooms down the hallway from mine and West’s. We agreed to only put rugs inside them for now, under the guise that we intend to take our time decorating, filling the spaces with meaningful pieces. But, in truth, those rooms are bare because we’re hopeful. Hopeful that things will go our way this time, and we’ll get to choose one of those rooms for our little boy or girl.

West lifts my hand to his lips, then places a kiss there. The contact settles my nerves, bringing me back to the present. He’s right. Even if this doesn’t go our way, everything will still be okay.

But, damn… I really, really pray this goes our way.

The doorknob twists, and my eyes dart there as a man with salt-and-pepper hair peeks inside, his warm smile drawing some of the chill from the room as he enters.

“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Golden. Pleasure meeting you both. I’m Dr. Tyler.”

I’m already in my head, so the only word I can seem to muster up is, “Hello.” Thank God West speaks up for us both.

“Blue and West is fine,” he says. “We appreciate you agreeing to see us so early this morning. Practice starts at ten, but it was important to me that I’m here for this.”

Dr. Tyler gives a casual wave. “Honestly, I’m always in the office around six anyway, so a six-thirty appointment wasn’t much of a stretch.”

The doctor flashes another smile, but I can’t seem to shake my nervousness. West’s words from a moment ago flutter into my mind again, and I do my best to believe everything will be okay, but I’m a mess on the inside. It’s become habit to dwell on all that could go wrong, to question whether this is even a good idea.

Breathe, Blue.

You’ve got this.

We’ve got this.

My eyes stay fixed on Dr. Tyler as he rounds his desk, and then settles into his seat across from West and me. He’s carrying my chart, but he doesn’t open it right away. Instead, he places it in the middle of his desk and folds his hands on top of it.

“If it’s okay with the two of you, I’d like to start our journey together the same way I begin with all the families I help. By thanking you,” he says. “For trusting me with your health. For trusting me with the very, very personal process of expanding your family.”

He’s so calm and collected. So much that I’m now feeling a bit more relaxed. We drove three hours to ensure that our case would be handled by the best of the best, and I’m starting to believe we made the right choice.

“Thank you, Sir,” West says. “Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to feel this way, considering our history with treatment, and with how hard it can be on my wife some days, but… I’m actually glad to be sitting across from you this morning.”

“That’s excellent to hear,” Dr. Tyler smiles. “And, yes, we have quite a few tests to run, and some preliminary exams, but after looking over your case, even your history with failed treatments, I see nothing that suggests this can’t work. Which may very well mean it simply hasn’t worked yet. But we’re going to see what we can do about that.”

God, I hate this. Hate that he’s getting my hopes up. But also… I’m grateful. Hope isn’t something I’ve felt around this situation in a very, very long time.

“Before we start talking particulars, are there any thoughts, questions or concerns you’d like to share with me?”

West and I turn toward one another at the same time, and I note that he’s smiling a little. He wants this so badly. Just as badly as I do.

This has to work.

Has to.

“No questions that I can think of,” I say.

“Me either,” West adds. “I’m just anxious to get the ball rolling.”

Dr. Tyler grins at that. “You know, I don’t see enough of that, fathers who are just as eager as the mothers to be a parent. It’s refreshing.”

West moves his thumb across the back of my hand, and I feel my smile broaden with how Dr. Tyler’s already read West so well.

“Let’s take a peek at your chart,” he says, finally cracking open the pale folder he came into the room with.

My heart races while he scans our history, notes from my former fertility specialist, and previous test results. Then, I have to breathe deep when I imagine he’s also taking into account that we’re on our third try, and while he did say that this maybe just hasn’t worked yet, it could also mean something else.

That it may never work.

“West, we’ll have you undergo a few tests as well to establish a baseline, but from what I’m seeing, it looks like you’ve actually fathered a pregnancy before?”

Dr. Tyler peers up, and West is silent when he should be speaking. Instead, he swallows deeply while gathering his thoughts.

“I did,” he admits. “There was a situation with a girl back in high school, but the pregnancy was terminated without my knowledge.”

Dr. Tyler nods. “And no history of conception since then?”

West shakes his head. “No, Sir.”

I shift in my seat, uncomfortable with the memory the doctor’s question just triggered. This was a situation that occurred before West and I even met, but I was around to see the aftermath, circumstances that honestly haunt him to this day, considering the thread that still connects this part of his past to the present.

“Okay, noted,” he says, moving on without further question. “We’ll still do some testing because it’s not uncommon for a man’s fertility to be impacted by a variety of factors over time, so it’s worth taking a look.”

West nods, but doesn’t speak, and I imagine he’s still trying to shrug off the same uncomfortable thoughts that just overtook me, too.

“Blue, I see here that your former specialist recommended that you hold off eighteen to twenty-four months before giving IVF another try following your last treatment. Was that due to complications?”

I shake my head, sitting a little straighter in my seat. “N—no. It was because, when the last treatment failed, I… went to sort of a… dark place.”

It feels like all the air’s been sucked out of the room after admitting that, especially because all three of us seated here today can do math. Which means we’re all aware it hasn’t been anywhere near the recommended eighteen to twenty-four months.

“Things were different then, though.”

My rushed words have Dr. Tyler’s eyes lifting from the page. “In what way?”

“Well, last time, my husband and I were alone. We didn’t have a support system, and with how West has to travel during the season, I probably spent more time on my own than what was healthy. Which wasn’t his fault,” I add quickly, squeezing West’s hand again. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that things are much different now, and… I’m ready.”

My chest heaves as I breathe harder, praying the past hasn’t just screwed me out of the chance to try again.

“I tell you what,” Dr. Tyler speaks up. “Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. Why don’t we get started on your lab work and go from there? I’ll need a complete blood panel, and we’ll need to get you in for an ultrasound. Also, I’d like to get you scheduled for a hysteroscopy.”

I mean to keep my thoughts to myself, but when Dr. Tyler smiles and begins to explain, I can guess he saw the worry on my face.

“Take a breath,” he says. “The procedure is minimally invasive. It’s just that, with your history of multiple unsuccessful treatments, this would allow me to gather a bit more intel before creating a personalized plan. And while we’re working our way through those steps, I’ll reach out to your former doctor to gain a little more clarity on his notes.”

And just like that, my nerves that had begun to settle are unraveling again. Because I’m almost certain his investigation could lead him to the fact that I didn’t see a therapist like I’d been asked to do.

Forcing a smile, I nod. “Sounds good.”

“Perfect. Then, let’s get you down to the lab today and get the process moving along. Some of the tests can only be done on an empty stomach, so?—”

“Yes, the nurse informed me that we might be getting started today, so I haven’t eaten. Not since last night,” I add nervously, reminding myself to breathe.

Dr. Tyler’s smile grows. “Awesome, you’re on top of things. Patients like you always make the job easier,” he teases. “I’ll step out and have the nurse get your lab order ready, then we’ll get you on the schedule for the ultrasound and hysteroscopy.”

“How soon?”

I’m aware of how anxious I sound, but I am anxious—to know my test results, to get the process started, to know how his conversation with my last doctor will go.

“Most patients get through the pre-treatment phase within six to eight weeks.”

His answer excites and rattles me at the same time, which accounts for why my response is nothing more than a tensely spoken, “Great.”

Dr. Tyler stands, folding both hands in front of him as he clutches my file. “Any questions?”

West shakes his head, then glances toward me before meeting the doctor’s gaze again. “No, I think we’re all set.”

After that, we stand too, and Dr. Tyler extends his hand to shake ours. “Well, if you think of anything between now and your next appointment, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to give me a call. Otherwise, it’s been a pleasure meeting you two.”

“Likewise,” West says.

Dr. Tyler is halfway to the door when he pauses, meeting West’s gaze again. “Forgive me if this is unprofessional, but… the football fan in me won’t let me leave without saying it. I’ve been following your and your brothers’ careers since your days at NCU. You three are something special. Tom Wells was wise to bring you to Cypress Pointe.”

West smiles, nodding to acknowledge the compliment. “Thank you, Sir.”

“And I think I was holding my breath with everyone else, keeping my fingers crossed that you’d make a quick recovery after banging up your shoulder. So, it’s excellent to see you back, healthy, and stronger than ever.”

My gaze slips to West, expecting to see him basking in Dr. Tyler’s praise, but although he smiles again, it’s definitely forced this time.

“Thank you,” he repeats, and Dr. Tyler nods. It’s clear that being able to voice his admiration just made his morning.

“Of course. See you folks soon.”

Despite West being somewhat in his head now, the exchange brings a welcomed sense of lightheartedness to the room, but it’s short lived. I manage to hold my smile until he’s gone, but the moment it’s only me and West, it fades quickly. My thoughts are racing a mile a minute, thinking of the many different ways this can go. But whereas my only concern before coming here was what if the treatment fails again, I’m now worried we may not even get the chance to try. Not any time soon, anyway.

Dr. Tyler didn’t make a big deal of the note he found, but I’m guessing that was just to avoid having West and I feel disappointed so soon in the process.

I’m fighting tears when West pulls me into his chest, letting the familiar feel of my arms encircling his waist calm me.

“We’ve got this, Babe. You and me.”

At those words, my eyes fall closed, and I take a deep breath, staying silent.

“I’ve told you time and time again that you’re enough for me. Whatever happens, however this goes, it won’t change the most important thing.”

I pull my head away from his chest where I’d just been listening to the steady thrum of his heart.

“The most important thing?” I ask, meeting his gaze.

He smiles, then places a kiss in the center of my forehead before answering. “Us. It won’t change us.”