Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Blue
L exi follows me from the patio, through the living room, and finally into the kitchen. The second we’re out of anyone’s line of sight, she sets down the dishes she carried inside, then takes a deep breath as she grips the edge of the counter.
“You okay?”
She doesn’t look up when she nods. “I will be. It’s just… being in the same space as those two just… gives me bad vibes. I’m good, though.”
I almost believe her.
Her gaze lifts toward me now, and I’m a little surprised to find sympathy behind her eyes. “What about you? I saw things get pretty tense between you and West for a sec.”
I’m a little embarrassed that she—or anyone—noticed that, but it is what it is.
“Yep, all good,” I say, and I actually mean it. Although, being honest, I’m still a little shocked that West didn’t get where I was coming from on the Hannah issue.
Water under the bridge, though.
Lately, there have been a few instances where the way West and I communicate feels foreign to me. Over the years, we’ve had very little strife in our marriage, but in recent months, it’s sometimes felt as though a thread of tension has woven itself into our relationship.
Lexi accepts my answer, then lowers her head and breathes deep.
“Relax. I’ll start the dishes,” I say, rubbing her back as I pass by.
“No, I don’t mind helping. Seriously. You did enough tonight. Dinner was awesome.”
There’s no time to stop her, because she’s already halfway to the sink, pushing both sleeves to her elbows. We stand side-by-side, me washing while she rinses and dries.
“I’m actually glad it’s just us for a bit,” she says. “I’ve been meaning to get your thoughts on something.”
I glance over to find a pensive look on her face. “What is it?”
“We… just got word that my sister’s getting released soon.”
Those words hit me hard. The entirety of my friendship with Lexi, her sister has been in prison. Our siblings being on lockdown was actually one of the things that bonded us back in high school.
“Whoa. How are you feeling about it?”
She shrugs, and I don’t blame her for not having an immediate answer. That transition comes with a lot of emotions to process.
“I’m excited she’ll be free and safe, excited she’ll be around, but… it’s the part about her wanting to come live with me and Jax that has me on the fence.”
I didn’t see that coming, so I scramble for something productive to say, but all I come up with is “…Oh.”
She laughs. “Exactly.”
I didn’t mean to feed into whatever doubts she might have, but it’s just been her and Jax since he was born.
“Are you considering it?”
She shrugs. “Kind of feels like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, ya know? On the one hand, I love having my own space, love that Jax and I can be ourselves there, love that we have a routine that works for us. But on the other hand, I know Amelia needs me. Mom and Benny aren’t open to her staying there. She put a lot of strain on their relationship before her arrest. Guess they’re just not willing to take a chance on her.”
Which means that responsibility will either fall on Lex, or she’ll have to live with the guilt of seeing her sister go into a reentry center until she gets back on her feet. I don’t envy this decision. It would’ve been a no-brainer to open my home to Hunter, but with Lexi’s sister’s history of alcoholism, there’s got to be a ton of anxiety around saying yes. And as someone who grew up with an alcoholic father, I don’t think I’d even consider it.
“Recovered or not, family or not… I’m not sure I want that kind of energy around my son.”
I can sense the sadness in her voice, see the tension on her face.
“And you have every right to feel that way, Lex.”
She nods, and I don’t realize she’s crying until she swipes a tear away with her shoulder.
“Yeah, but… she’s my sister. I can’t just leave her out there to fend for herself. She has issues, yeah, but a lot of that shit came from how fucked up things were when we were kids, our dad not being around. I just don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do.”
When she breaks down completely, I dry my hands and pull her toward me, bringing her into a hug.
“She’s your sister, but your only obligation is to your son. So, whatever you decide, I support your decision.”
She nods, sniffling again. “Thanks.”
“You know I’ve got you.” I rub her back again, squeezing tighter. “Have you… maybe mentioned it to Sterling?”
While it’s definitely her house, and I don’t want to add to her stress about it, my guess is that Sterling would probably like to have some say in his son’s living arrangements.
She shakes her head, but before she’s able to speak…
“Did she mention what to Sterling?”
Speak of the devil…
When Lexi pulls away, her eyes land right on Sterling’s intense green stare. Like West, he takes up a lot of space in any room he enters, and I don’t just mean because of their height and formidable build. It’s just something about their presence. So, I imagine it’s a bit intimidating for Lexi when he folds both arms across his chest, tension spreading through his broad shoulders.
But then, the air of suspicion he carried a second ago starts to fall away as he takes in Lexi’s emotional state, sees her tears. Something flickers in his gaze. I can’t say for sure what it is, but what I do know is that there was a time in the not-so-distant past when he would’ve moved heaven and earth to fix anything that threatened this girl’s happiness. But now, as they’re forced to maintain a safe distance from one another, I swear I still feel their magnetism.
Him, feeling drawn in, like the protector he’s always been, wanting to bring her close.
Her, wanting to let him.
The exact moment I think those words, Lexi’s gaze lowers, and it feels like all the air’s just been sucked out of the room.
“I should go,” I say, mostly because it feels like I’m intruding on a private moment, but Lexi places a hand on my arm.
“No. Stay. I don’t need any drama if someone walks in and it’s just the two of us.”
And by someone, I think we all know she means Tiffany.
Despite not wanting to bear witness to such a personal conversation, I stay put.
“I was just telling Blue that my sister might need a place to stay. They’re letting her out soon, but Mom and Benny aren’t willing to open their home to her.”
Sterling’s quiet, letting that sink in. He, of course, knows the entire sordid history of Amelia’s past, so he doesn’t need a rundown of what her living under Lexi’s roof implies.
“So… I’d like to know your thoughts,” she forces out. When she stiffens her chin, I get the feeling she hates this, essentially asking Sterling’s permission.
She’s a tough girl by default. Always has been. And the only person I’ve ever really seen her completely vulnerable with was Sterling. But now that they’re over, I can’t imagine it’s easy to find balance again.
Sterling takes a breath, holding Lexi’s gaze when he speaks. “I mean, it’s not ideal, but?—”
“Well, I think we both know that much,” Lex cuts in, an air of irritation bleeding through her tone. However, to my surprise, Sterling doesn’t seem rattled.
He knows her, knows she gets defensive when she feels backed into a corner. So, instead of matching her negative energy, he meets her with patience.
“Right, but… I was just going to add that I trust your judgement.”
Those words hang heavy in the air, and I don’t think Lexi was expecting to hear them either.
“I’m assuming you’ll set some rules for her?” Sterling adds, prompting Lexi to nod.
“I.. yeah,” she stammers. “She’ll have to attend weekly AA meetings, and no shady shit around Jaxon. One slipup, and she’s done. No questions asked.”
Sterling doesn’t even bat an eye, making it even more apparent that his words were true.
He does trust Lexi.
“You’re a good mom,” he says, but then breaks eye contact. “If there’s one thing I know will always be consistent about you, it’s that you’ll put our son first, protect him with everything in you, and… that’s all I care about.”
Hearing the ease of this conversation is like a breath of fresh air. They didn’t have this open line of communication in the beginning of the breakup, so I see this as proof that they’ve both evolved.
Quite a bit, actually.
“I appreciate your trust. Means a lot,” Lex says. “I’ll keep you in the loop on whatever I decide.”
Sterling nods, then hits Lexi with a half-smile that reminds me of West. Knowing what that look does to me when my husband gives it , I can only imagine what it does to her coming from Sterling. So, when she averts her eyes, choosing to stare at the floor instead of him, I know the exact moment he’s gotten to her.
Now, I’m the one smiling, because that look will definitely be keeping her awake tonight.
Sterling’s steps are calm and measured as he heads to the fridge. He has this blatant, ‘I’m the shit’ air about him that has Lexi pretending not to stare in my peripheral vision. But she’s not kidding anyone.
Sterling takes a bottle of water from the top shelf of the fridge, and I’m guessing that’s what brought him to the kitchen in the first place. But as he heads back toward the living room to join the others outside, he can’t help himself. Like I predicted, he shoots another charged glance toward Lexi, and she’s already staring, sending the tension between them through the roof. But, unfortunately, I’m no longer the only one who witnesses it.
Standing in the doorway, Tiffany looks like a deer caught in headlights. Does she feel it, too? That charge in the air? I’m not sure what she’s thinking, but I do know what she’s seen.
Her fiancé and his ex, battling some serious chemistry.
The moment becomes incredibly uncomfortable, and I feel for all three of them in different ways. Sterling will definitely be getting an earful when he gets home.
“Sorry, I… didn’t mean to interrupt,” Tiffany says, nervously moving a hand through her hair. “Everyone’s packing up to leave. Just thought we might get a move on, too.” She forces a smile, and this is by far the most uncomfortable moment of the evening.
Sterling doesn’t seem rattled as he holds his water bottle in the air. “Just grabbing a drink. Ready when you are.”
Tiffany’s eyes flit toward Lexi, and then back to Sterling. I’m so glad I stayed. This situation would’ve looked ten times worse if I hadn’t.
I put on a smile when Sterling walks over to me, pulling me into a light hug. “Dinner was great. We’ll host next time,” he offers, and I’m wearing a smile when he pulls away.
“Sounds good,” I say back, but I’m hyper aware of how close he’s standing to Lexi. Too close to simply ignore her.
“Drive safe,” he says to her. “Tell Jax I love him, and I’ll see him in a few days.”
Lexi nods, and her smile is so tense she would’ve been better off not even trying. “Will do.”
Sterling takes a breath before walking away, and I can’t help but think there’s more he wishes he could say, but… he doesn’t. Instead, he turns, walks toward the doorway, then laces his fingers with Tiffany’s without looking back.
Then, they’re gone.
The room is completely silent, and I feel like I should do something—strike up conversation to take Lexi’s mind off having to see her ex with his new girlfriend, hug her so she knows she doesn’t have to hide her feelings around me. But I just let her lead, let her show me what she needs right now. So, when she turns toward the sink again, I can assume she’d just like to pretend none of that happened.
We finish cleaning up without saying another word. She likes to attribute her progress and growth to a lot of hours spent on her therapist’s couch, but I say it’s all her. She’s chosen to take the steps to be the best version of herself she can be, and I, for one, and damn proud of her.
We get the kitchen spotless, then I head back out to say my goodbyes to the rest of our guests, but I hug Lexi a little longer than the others as she heads out. I saw her struggling tonight, and if I didn’t know it already, I know it now—her feelings for Sterling are alive and well. Even if she’s buried them deep, under layers of anger and pain.
They’re there.
Hunter’s the last to leave, and I breathe a sigh of relief knowing we made it to the end of one hell of an emotionally- charged evening. There was a time when being together as a group was our safe space, our refuge.
But present day, as our lives shift, and the dynamics of our relationships evolve, it sometimes feels like something else. Like we’re all seated at a table, playing Russian roulette, waiting for the one gathering where someone loses their shit, and it all falls apart.
However, since I can neither predict the future, nor control anyone else’s behavior, I’m choosing to just… be grateful.
Because tonight wasn’t that night.
@QweenPandora:
The entire Golden Crew just concluded a gathering held at the castle of their beloved king and queen. They stayed locked behind those gates for hours, and that we know of, no homicides were reported this evening.
But what was the special occasion, you ask?
Why, the return of the prodigal son, of course.
That’s right. Hunter Riley, is officially back in Cypress Pointe, although no one can say for how long. But while he’s graced our beautiful city with his presence, he will henceforth be dubbed #PrisonBae.
And for good damn reason, y’all!
Get a load of these pics! They started flooding my inbox this afternoon when the most elusive Riley of them all was spotted exiting a bus at approximately two P.M. I believe it’s safe to say those prison yard workouts did his body good, did they not?
So, like, after all that hard work… it’d be kind of rude not to acknowledge his progress, right?
Right.
He’s almost completely inked, but I find myself wondering if there’s just a small space left on that beautiful body of his to etch my name somewhere.
You know, as a shout out, of course.
Not because I’m obsessed or anything.
Anyway, I digress…
There’s speculation about what’s prompted #PrisonBae’s return, but I’ll hold off making my predictions. Seems best to do a big reveal once I have confirmation.
Until then, submit your images and updates to keep us all in the know. I mean, what’s more important than having the scoop on everyone’s favorite group of misfits turned local royalty?
Oh, and #PrisonBae, don’t be fooled. You’re hot and all, but don’t think for a minute this means you’re exempt.
One false move and the entire city will know about it.
Sleep tight…
Later, peeps :)
—P