Greeting Cards For Exes

Chapter Ten

P IPER

“So, do you think it’s odd that Maude all of a sudden invited us over?” I asked Kerrie, who was driving.

She flashed me a quick smile. “A little, but I guess not really. She knows we’ve both been through bad breakups and probably figured we’d be the best company. At least we can all commiserate with one another.”

“You’re right. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. But this has me kind of panicked. If Maude and Cornelius couldn’t even stay together after that long, what hope do we have? Is there a point in me even dating Wooyoung?” I played with the frayed strings on my ripped jeans.

Kerrie peered at me when we came to a stop sign. “Yes. You need to at least try. If it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work. Besides, he seems way too nice to play the same cheating ass game that Minho did.”

I shrugged. “Maybe. Ugh! I guess you’re right. I need to not freak out about this. Wooyoung and I are supposed to have dinner later when we’re done exterminating our exes. So, I definitely don’t want to psych myself out.”

She laughed. “Christ, you make us sound like the Ghostbusters or something taking care of supernatural creatures.”

“Well, that part is kind of true.”

My phone alerted us to turn right. I hadn’t realized Maude lived in this part of the suburbs of Chicago. There were a lot of older, more established houses and neighborhoods. They were a little more spread apart here than I’d thought they’d be. People had actual yards.

We pulled in front of a two-story white house with black shutters. A picket fence surrounded both the front yard and back, the house itself nestled safely behind the gate. She even had a couple of mature trees, which must’ve been there since before the house had been built.

A porch swing shifted in the breeze, the red checkered decorative pillows inviting us to take a seat and relax.

“This is a cute place,” I said as we parked in the driveway behind Maude’s car. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected, but it wasn’t this.

We climbed from the vehicle, both carrying a grocery bag with our chosen burn items. Maude met us on the porch wearing a bright pink tracksuit.

“Good, you guys found the house. I already have the wood in the fire pit.” She smiled, ushering us inside.

“Do you need a permit to burn stuff?” I asked.

She waved me off. “Never have asked.”

Kerrie quirked an eyebrow, her lips twitching as if trying not to smile.

“This is a beautiful house,” Kerrie said, her gaze shifting around the room.

I took in the hardwood floors and glass roosters sitting atop the cupboards. The red and white checkerboard backsplash matched the pillows on the porch. It was very country-farm-chic.

“Thanks. Been here a long time. If you want to follow me, we can go into the backyard.”

She led us down a hallway, past a laundry room and a bedroom, to a backdoor, which led to the yard. There were three camp chairs set up around the pit. At the back of the fence, there were two large maple trees, which I was sure were gorgeous in the autumn when the leaves changed colors.

“I made some lemonade and cookies if you girls want a snack.” Maude pointed at a small picnic table under a plaid awning that came off the back of the house.

“Thanks, I might snag something. I haven’t eaten dinner yet.” I grabbed a chocolate chip cookie. “Oh, my God! This is so good. Are these homemade?”

“Yeah, I do a lot of baking from scratch.” Maude smiled. “So, what did you girls bring to burn?” She reached for a bottle of lighter fluid and a long lighter that looked like a gun.

From her bag, Kerrie pulled out a pair of dark blue silk boxers. “These are Hal’s favorite underwear, which are name brand and cost a fortune. And I’ll throw these in for the fun of it.” She held up a pack of condoms. “Found them in his wallet when I was grabbing Sophie some gas money to give her friend.”

I snickered. “Well, he’ll be surprised if he goes to get it on and has no protection.”

“Yep.”

Maude lit the fire and laughed. “Ah, that’s genius. Are you sure you don’t want to sell those underpants? Might be able to make a few bucks off ‘em.”

I sat down in one of the camp chairs. “Shit. That’d be funny. Put them up on eBay, maybe share the link with everyone on your social media.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Just my luck, the kids would see it and click on it. Speaking of kids, I didn’t tell you two about my latest mishap when I took Sophie driving the other night. A mishap my daughter has aptly named Dildo-Divorce-Gate.”

“Do I even want to know about this?” I asked.

“Probably not, but you guys are going to hear all about it.”

Kerrie told us about the runaway vibrator that’d fallen out of her glove box, and how the cop was her daughter’s friend’s dad.

“Why in God’s name did you have a sex toy in your glove box?” Maude stopped stirring the now roaring fire and glanced between us.

“That is another embarrassing story involving my youngest daughter getting into my purse.” Kerrie flushed scarlet as she explained the show-and-tell debacle.

“Sweet Mary, Mother of God. Remind me not to ride in your van with you. That sex toy is cursed.”

I laughed. “It’s something, but I think I’d get it out of your vehicle at this point.”

“Agreed, I need to find a much better hiding spot.”

“What did you bring, Piper?” Maude picked up a small box from one of the chairs.

“I brought a couple of things as well. I couldn’t decide on just one. I brought the pillow Minho made me when we were in high school, which has our prom picture on it. I never want this thing near my head again.” I tossed it onto the ground, then grabbed the decorative wooden box that had, at one time, held my engagement ring. I’d kept the box because it’d been so pretty. The ring I’d pawned soon after our split.

“Oh, I kind of like the box,” Maude said. “But, if it’s from your ex, it must go.”

“And what about you?” I watched her grab a cardboard box.

“I’ve got Corny’s old dentures. He won’t be using these again anytime soon.”

With a giggle, I said, “Wait, will those even burn?”

“We’re about to find out. If not, I guess I’ll have some creepy looking teeth at the bottom of my pit.”

“Just your luck, the neighbors will think you murdered someone,” Kerrie said.

“I’m sure they already believe that. Gotta keep ‘em scared so they don’t bug me.” Maude cleared her throat, using her free hand to wave at the smoke in the air. “Okay, so let this bonfire be cleansing. Let us get rid of all the bad juju hanging around us. Today, we begin anew. No more letting these bastards ruin our lives. Try and see this as our closure.”

“Hear, hear.” Kerrie held up the boxers in a mock-cheer.

“Hear, hear,” I repeated.

One by one, we tossed our items into the flickering flames. The pillow seemed to melt before my eyes, Minho’s face disappearing one tiny detail at a time, which was sorta therapeutic.

We watched the fire for long minutes, none of us saying anything. It seemed so final. Like we were really closing this chapter of our lives. Although, I doubted it’d be that easy. However, it felt good to do it.

“To friendship,” I said, moving to get a lemonade.

“To friendship,” they both answered in response.

We toasted our boyfriend bonfire. A sense of belonging and peace fell over me for the first time in a long while.

“Oh, crap, I hate to break up our party, but I’m supposed to have dinner with Wooyoung.” I set my cup back down.

“Of course. Thank you for stopping by. Maybe we can all get together again soon. Next time, for dinner or drinks or something of that sort.”

“I’d like that.” Kerrie nodded. “Lord knows, I don’t hardly leave the house. School’s almost done, so the kids will be on summer break. I’ll be a little more available then.”

“See you tomorrow at work, Maude.” I waved as Kerrie and I headed out.

***

“D O YOU SMELL WOOD SMOKE ?” Wooyoung asked as we made our way to the restaurant.

“Oh, shoot. That’s me. I had a bonfire with Maude and Kerrie. Long story.” I laughed when his eyebrows shot up.

“I see. Speaking of Maude, she was in a mood at work today. I’ve never heard her get that snappy with people before.”

“Yeah, well, you’d be pissed too if your spouse of fifty years left you.”

“You’re lying,” he said, mouth gaping like a bass trying to snag a worm.

“No. I’m so not. I feel really bad for her. None of us saw it coming, least of all her. I mean, two weeks ago, he was having lunch with her at work, everything seemed fine, and just like that, gone.”

He frowned. “Maybe I’ll try to do something nice for her. Grab her a coffee or donut on my way into work tomorrow.”

“Speaking of grabbing stuff, I feel horrible you keep paying for all my coffee.”

“Are you still going on about that?” he teased, reaching across to give my hand a squeeze. “Seriously, I don’t mind. If I did, I wouldn’t do it anymore.”

“How is it you’re so nice?”

He gave me a quick glance. “I’m not always nice. Ask my sister.”

“Being mean to siblings doesn’t count,” I said. “Although, as an only child, I guess I’m not the best judge.”

“So, your mom never had any more kids?” Wooyoung asked.

“God, no. She’s been married like six or seven times—I lost count. But no, she only wanted to get fat once.”

“Wait, your mom actually told you that?”

I laughed. “Yeah. That, and she doesn’t have a great track record staying with any one man for very long. In my father’s defense, he died. However, every other man she’s divorced.”

“I can’t even imagine growing up in that kind of environment. My parents have been married for thirty-five years.” He parked the car at the steakhouse, then shut off the engine.

“It kind of sucked. Although, I do love my stepdad, David. He was married to my mom for over five years. He’s my favorite. He never had any other kids, so I’m pretty much his. I talk more to him than I do Mom. They got divorced right before my freshman year of high school.”

“No wonder you have so many trust issues when it comes to relationships. First, your serial-marrying mother, and then Minho.”

“True.” I smiled at him before we climbed from the vehicle. “So, be gentle with me, Wooyoung.”

He met me at the sidewalk and took my hand in his. The scent of grilled beef wafted in the air as someone came out of the restaurant. My stomach growled. Damn. It smelled so good. I couldn’t wait to eat.

As soon as we stepped inside, we stood in line, waiting for the hostess.

“We should go somewhere else to eat?” Wooyoung’s grip on my hand tightened.

“Why? What’s wrong?” My eyes met his.

“Your ex is here.” He nodded to a table near the door.

Sure enough. He was sitting in a booth, Hani right beside him, and an older couple whose faces I couldn’t see seated across from them. I stiffened, shifting to stand behind Wooyoung.

“Okay. Yeah, let’s find someplace else,” I said as he led me back outside.

“If you want, we could grab takeout and go back to my place,” he suggested.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Before we drove off, Wooyoung called in an order. By the time we got to the Chinese Den, they had our food ready to go. A few minutes later, we parked in a garage under his apartment building, which wasn’t too far from mine. It was fancier by far, but without my lake view.

We made our way into the lobby where he punched in a security code to get into the elevator. He hit the seventh floor button, and up we went. The elevator started to smell like my chicken fried rice and cheese wontons.

“I’m not sure I’ll make it to your apartment before scarfing my food down.”

He chuckled. “Well, we could just sit on the floor in here and eat, but I think the other residents might frown on that.”

“Maybe. Or they’ll think we’re super creative with our picnic choice.”

“Did you say picnic?” His eyes glittered. Their warm chocolate color nearly melted me, and my face heated. Phew, this boy could definitely turn on the charm.

“Yes.”

“Hmm...I can arrange that. When we get inside, you stay in the entryway while I set things up.”

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“No, but I want to.”

When we got to his apartment, true to his word, he had me stand in the foyer. A few minutes later, he hollered, “Okay, you can come in now.”

As I rounded the corner of the hallway, it opened into a living room with dark hardwood floors. Windows covered the whole back wall, giving an awesome view of the cityscape, which I was sure the loft above probably had an even better visual. He had brown leather furniture with lime, teal, and coral throw pillows, while another wall had a modern marble gas fireplace. Above that hung a flat screen TV. There were paintings of sunsets and beaches. The open room concept led right into the kitchen, which had all stainless-steel appliances and white granite countertops.

My eyes darted back to the checkered picnic tablecloth Wooyoung had spread out on the floor between the couch and recliner. The food was placed on fancy plates.

“This is perfect,” I said.

He sat down, then patted the spot next to him. “Come, let’s feed you, my hungry girl.”

My hungry girl? I kind of liked the sound of that. It’d been so long since I felt like I belonged with someone.

I kicked off my shoes and plopped beside him. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

We were silent while we ate, the only noise coming in the form of some light music he’d put on. It was kind of nice to know he seemed just as passionate about eating as I was. Minho normally picked his way around his plate. Although, maybe I shouldn’t be comparing the two. When we finished dinner, I helped him gather our dishes and food items.

“Do you want to see the rest of the place?”

“Sure.”

He guided me into a small bathroom off the living room, which was done in more of the same bright lime, teal, and coral colors. From there, he took me to the guest bedroom, then finally up a pair of metal industrial type stairs into a loft.

“Wow. This is perfect.” I spun around. At the center of the room, there was a king-sized bed, covered in a teal comforter. From the bed, you could see through the windows below.

“I have two walk-in closets, and the master bathroom is pretty spectacular.”

I slid into a large, tiled bathroom. The tub had jets in it, and there was a huge shower with room for more than one person. “Geez, how many people can you fit in your shower?”

“At least two.” His voice had deepened, his face turning pink.

I swallowed hard, thinking how much I’d love to step into the shower. My gaze followed the line of his broad shoulders, down his narrow waist to his muscled thighs. Oh God. I needed to turn off my thoughts now. Butterflies flittered in my stomach.

“Um, that’s the end of the tour, I guess,” he said.

“I love your place. The view is amazing.” I tried not to look at the shower again, but instead found myself lost in his gaze.

He took a step closer to me, his hand cupping my face. His lips pressed against mine, the faint remnant of lemonade left on his tongue as it danced against mine.

A soft moan escaped me as I wrapped my arms around his neck, tugging him closer. My body pressed against his so that I could feel the contours of his muscles as we embraced. His thumb traced my jawline, his mouth following a similar trail.

“Wooyoung,” I whispered as he pulled back.

“I like you a lot, Piper, but we can take this as slow or as fast as you want.”

“Okay.” My fingers found the hair at the nape of his neck and tangled there, drawing his mouth down once more. This time, I kissed him. Heat radiated as he stroked my back, wedging me even closer. Even now, I felt the hardness between his legs.

But was I ready for this step? What if he hurt me? Damn, I wish my mind would just shut up. Let me bask in this moment.

I took a step away, my body on fire. “I...I like you, too, Wooyoung. But I think I’ll need to take things slow.”

“Alright.” He smiled, brushing strands of hair from my face. “However you want to do this is fine with me. I’m not going anywhere.”

I hugged him, loving the feel of his arms around me. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Piper.”

Maybe not, but I appreciated the fact he was willing to take this at my pace.