Chapter Fifteen
M AUDE
Mr. Dancy followed me into my office after my ‘car’s broke’ lie. Sometimes the man was way too nosy for his own good. When we got inside, he shut the door behind him.
“Tell me, Maude, did you really have car troubles?” He crossed his arms over his chest again, gaze narrowed in on me like he was Columbo or something.
“Yes. You know I’m always here on time.”
“Hmm. We used to be comrades in arms here. The old folks sticking together. What happened?”
“Corny left me, that’s what happened. Now, I’m going to live life on my terms. Besides, I can’t always be a stick in the mud. There are so many things I still want to do.”
He gripped my desk chair. “Wait, you’re not retiring, are you?”
“Jesus H. Christ, no. Here’s the thing, I’m not getting any younger. I’ve always been such a stickler for rules and taking the route of straight and narrow. But now, I want to live a little, maybe try some things I’ve never done before.”
“Like be late for work?”
I snorted. “Honestly, is that all you think about? Work?”
“When you run a business for as long as I have, yes, that’s all you think about. No time for other stuff.”
“Sounds like you should take a vacation.” I set my purse and thermos of coffee on the edge of my desk. “Your wife would probably love it if you surprised her with a trip.”
He chuckled. “Or she’d think my body had been taken over by aliens.”
We all already thought that, but no need to tell Mr. Boss Man. “I should get to work. These cards aren’t going to write themselves.”
“Right. See you later, Maude.”
I gave him a mock salute, then plopped in my chair. Phew, that man and all his questions.
By some miracle, I got a few lines typed up for a new card idea. Better than what I’d been able to do lately, so I’d call that a win. Grabbing my lunch, I headed to the cafeteria where I spotted Carlos sitting at a table by himself. His facial hair still hadn’t been shaved recently, and his normally pressed pants looked as if he’d pulled them out of the laundry hamper ten minutes before he came to work.
“Mind if I sit with you?” I asked.
He shrugged, scooting to make room for me. Carlos ran a hand through his already unruly dark hair.
“I think I owe you an apology about that whole penis thing. You see, Corny left me around that time, and I couldn’t tolerate being around men.”
“It’s okay, I understand.” He gave me a sad smile.
I sat beside him and took out a turkey sandwich. “How are you doing?”
Carlos sighed, using his fork to push salad around his plate. “Been better. I’m not sure whether to be sad, or angry, or relieved about Pietro leaving me. We were together for such a long time, so to have him just up and go to France without any warning...”
He stabbed a tomato as if he were after someone in a horror movie.
“Well, let me say this—I think you’re better off without him. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t love you the same way you love them. Take whatever time you need to try and get over him. But then, let him go. Life’s too short to be wasting tears on the likes of him.”
“You’re right, of course.” Carlos grinned. “If he doesn’t recognize how wonderful I am, then screw him.”
“Cheers!” I raised my bottle of water.
“What are we giving cheers for?” Piper asked, coming to sit with us, along with Kerrie.
“For Carlos to move on from Pietro—that no good bastard who left him.”
“Ah, let me raise a glass, too!” She reached for her iced tea and held it up.
“Hear, Hear,” Kerrie said, plopping down across from Carlos.
“Carlos, you know what you should do? Get jazzed up tonight and come out to get a bite to eat with me.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I think you need a distraction, and a night on the town will do you some good,” I said. “Do they even say night on the town anymore?” My gaze met Piper’s.
“No offense, but no, they don’t.”
I rolled my eyes. Geesh, I couldn’t keep up with the times. “Either way, we should go somewhere for food and maybe a drink.”
“I know just the place.” Carlos’s whole face lit up like the Chicago cityscape at night.
“What about you two? Are you in?” I turned to Piper and Kerrie.
Piper held up her hands. “Oh, no. Not after last night. That was a little too adventurous for me.”
“Same. I’ll have to pass for tonight, but maybe we can grab take-out after work sometime and go to the beach or park or one of our houses,” Kerrie added.
Carlos glanced between us. “What happened last night?”
Did I detect a note of worry in his voice? “Nothing you need to worry about. It’s all in the past.”
“Damn, now you have me kind of freaked out, chica.” Carlos stared at the other two as if hoping they might spill the beans, but they kept quiet, likely because they were scared Mr. Dancy would find out the real reason we were all late today.
“I promise, I’ll be on my best behavior tonight.” I raised my hand in a sort of salute.
“Okay then. Why don’t you give me your address, and I’ll pick you up around seven.” He typed my information into his phone, then headed for the cafeteria exit. “You, Maude, are going to be in for the time of your life tonight.”
“Can’t wait!” Sweet Jesus, I hoped I didn’t regret this.
When he left, I turned to the other two. “Are you chickens? Can’t you see that poor Carlos needs us?”
“I know, I know. But I really don’t want to get into any more trouble, especially since Hal could use last night against me,” Kerrie said. “And I have the kids at home. Their dad is already gone half the time. I don’t want to be absent, too.”
I nodded. “You’re right, you should be home with your children. Piper?”
She flushed. “I’m supposed to go over to Wooyoung’s for dinner and a movie, but maybe I could convince him to come out with us, too.”
“That would be nice if you can. Call and let me know for sure. The more, the merrier,” I said.
“I can ask him now, before he gets back to his office,” she said, leaving her food on the table and heading over to his.
“I feel like we’ve started an office support group, of sorts.” Kerrie peered at me between bites of her sandwich.
“Complete with jail time, fighting, and lying to our boss.” I laughed.
“Did you say lying to your boss?” Mr. Dancy appeared out of nowhere, standing on the other side of the table.
Good grief, he was like a genie, poofing here and there with no warning. About enough to give an old gal a heart attack.
“No. You misheard. I said, ‘crying to our boss.’ As in, all of us have been in dire straits lately, and you’ve been very compassionate.” Hells bells, the one time I’m not careful.
“Did you also mention jail?” He crossed his arms.
“Mr. Dancy, no offense, but you might need to look into hearing aids. I get a lot of those pamphlet things in the mail, maybe I should bring you one. What I said was ‘complete with nails and moonlighting.’ We went to get our nails done last night, then headed to the beach to watch the sunset and the moon rise.”
“Oh. That makes more sense. Carry on,” he said. As he walked away, I watched him stick his finger in his ear as if to clean it out.
“That was close,” I whispered. “Gotta be more careful with Boss Man around.”
“No kidding. I about had a panic attack when he showed up.” Kerrie took several deep breaths, her hand rested against her chest.
Piper came back and sat down again. “Wooyoung said he’s game for dinner tonight. We’ll meet up at your house at around seven.”
“Sounds good. I’ll let Carlos know in case he needs to make reservations.” I stood, picking up my trash. “See you later.”
Carlos was, of course, happy we’d have additional guests coming along. “I can’t wait for you to experience this. It’s like dinner and a show.”
“Oh, should I dress up?”
“Only if you want to. I’ll pick you all up after work.” Carlos grinned, hurrying back to his office.
***
“D O YOU KNOW WHERE WE’RE going?” Piper asked as we sat on the porch, waiting for Carlos.
“No. He only said it was dinner and a show, so it could be anywhere.”
“I wonder if it’s that medieval dinner place?” Wooyoung stood with his hands in his pockets, his polo shirt tight across his muscular chest.
Piper couldn’t take her eyes off him, and I could see why. I might be old, but I wasn’t dead.
“He didn’t say, but I’m game for anything.” I smoothed my black skirt, which I accompanied with a pink dress shirt and pink heels.
A few minutes later, Carlos pulled up in a gray SUV.
“Hey, guys.” He waved, hopping out to open the doors for us. His dark hair was tamed tonight and styled off his face. He wore a dark polo shirt over a pair of tight jeans. He’d even shaved his face, looking more Carlos-like than he had in weeks. “We’re going to have so much fun.”
“Where exactly are we going?” My gaze met his.
“It’s a surprise, but I’ll tell you they have the best burgers in all Chicago, chica.”
“Burgers sound good, I’m starving,” Piper said.
We drove across town and parked outside of a place called Happy’s Handsome Hamburgers. Couldn’t go wrong with a name like that.
Carlos came around and got my door for me, while Wooyoung did the same for Piper. We walked toward the entrance. I’m not sure what I expected, but it sure wasn’t what I got when the door opened to reveal a dimly lit restaurant with a stage at the front, and Drag Queens doing a dance.
“Wow, I’ll admit, this is a first for me,” I said, as a tall queen with ebony skin and long braids swept past me, carrying a tray with food on it. “They perform and also serve food?”
“Well, they have some that are specifically the wait staff, and others who are strictly performers. But for certain numbers, all of them stop what they’re doing and dance.”
“Oh.” I caught Piper’s eye, and she grinned.
“This is so cool. I’ve never been to a drag show before.” Her gaze scoured the room as if taking it all in.
“How many tonight?” A tiny redhead came up to us, wearing a short, tight black number.
“Four,” Carlos answered for us.
Once we were seated, we were handed menus.
“What’s on the Ride ‘em Cowboy Burger?” I asked, squinting at the small print.
“Pretty much all the fixings,” Carlos said. “They’re super yummy.”
I followed his gaze to the stage and wondered if he was talking about the food or the show about to start.
“Alright, I’ll get me one of those, then.”
After we all ordered, the stage lit with several lights and queens in every shape, color, and size.
“The one on the end, Juanita, is my best friend.”
Piper turned her head to see where he pointed. “Oh, my God, his makeup is amazing. And his legs. Holy shit, I’d kill to have legs that long. Wait, does he go by he or she?”
“Juanita goes by he. He’s actually Juan the accountant by day, and Juanita the show girl by night. Some of the queens have undergone surgery and recognize as women, but others, like Juanita, just dress the part.”
“Woah, if I kicked my leg that high, I’d likely throw out my hip.” I watched them do a variety of complicated dance steps before Juanita took the microphone and began to sing. “Say, what do they do with their willies?”
Carlos chuckled. “Girl, they ice ‘em and tuck ‘em. Although, like I said, some have undergone surgery.”
“Oh, that doesn’t seem like it’d be too comfortable.”
After several numbers, Juanita hopped off the stage and made a beeline for our table. He stopped, hand on his hip, his long dark wig hanging to the middle of his back. He wore a tight red dress that came down to his thighs, topped off with a pair of three-inch spiky red heels. His brown eyes rested on Carlos.
“Bitch, about time you showed up. I can’t believe you’ve been avoiding me. Although...” His gaze flitted over to Wooyoung. “If this is your new man, I can see why.”
Wooyoung’s face turned the color of a fire engine.
“Sassy as ever, I see. And no, sadly, Wooyoung is with Piper. Maude is my date tonight.”
Carlos slipped his arm around my shoulders.
“Well now, I’ve really been out of the loop for a while if you’re spicing things up in this way. Good on you finding a beautiful sugar mama.” Juanita touched my shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze.
“Maude is simply a lifesaver, darling. I promise that I’m now officially over Pietro.” Carlos lifted his margarita and took a sip.
“Hell, yes. Finally. I don’t know what magic you used, Maude, but thank you. I’ve been trying to get this man out of his house for weeks now.”
“Must be all my sugar.” I laughed.
“Okay, this is going to seem like an absurd question, but can I please get tips on makeup from you? Your eyeshadow is freaking out of this world,” Piper said, setting her pop down on the table.
“Of course.” Juanita fluffed his hair. “I’ve got another number coming up in a few, but if you give Carlos your contact information, I’d be glad to meet up with you or talk you through it.”
“You are awesome, thank you.”
“No problem, love. Any friend of Carlos’s is a friend of mine. Now, I must go.” He spun dramatically and raced for the stage just as the music started again.
We watched several performers, and they were amazing. Never in all my seventy plus years did I think I’d find myself here.
When Carlos brought us back to my house, I waved goodnight to everyone.
The buttery yellow of my porchlight welcomed me home, but as soon as I unlocked the door, the silence surrounded me, reminding me again Corny wasn’t here. I swallowed hard as I stared at a picture of him sitting on the coffee table by the couch.
“See, you lying bastard, I’m being more adventurous. Bet you never thought I’d go to a drag show or get in a bar fight. I’m doing just fine without you.” My voice cracked, but I swallowed back the emotion. “Yep, just fine.”