Greeting Cards For Exes

Chapter Eighteen

M AUDE

I shoved a pair of pink sweatpants and matching sweatshirt into my suitcase for our retreat weekend. Luckily, the bathing suit Piper helped me order had arrived in time. Spas meant hot tubs, pools, and those kinds of things. It’d been a couple of decades since I’d last donned a swimsuit. My old one had ended up in a pile for the thrift store years ago.

With a smile, I held up my new leopard print bikini. I’d only ever owned one pieces and thought, hell, why not? You only live once. If people didn’t want to see my puckered prune-like skin, then they didn’t have to look. If I’d had more time, I might’ve gotten some of that tanning lotion to darken me up some, too.

With a sigh, I went through the house, making sure I had everything I needed, then I shut off the lights and locked the doors. I wondered how far out of the city we were going. All Mr. Dancy would tell us was we’d be taking a bus somewhere.

Too bad he hadn’t decided on a train or airplane. It would’ve been more comfortable and fun. But beggars couldn’t be choosers. We were lucky he’d splurged for this bonding retreat, or whatever he wanted to call it. I half expected him to pull out laptops and make us work on new ideas next to a pool or something.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I spotted Piper standing with an olive green colored suitcase, her long auburn hair tied back in a ponytail. Kerrie waited beside her, holding a large maroon duffle bag that looked like it could’ve contained a dead body, it was so big.

Piper waved at me as I climbed from my car, tugging on the handle of my luggage to get it out of the backseat.

She hurried toward me. “Do you need help?”

“Nah, I’ve got it. Phew, this thing is heavy.”

“Tell me about,” Kerrie said, setting her bag on the ground. “I don’t own any actual suitcases. And, of course, I didn’t think to go buy one prior to today.”

Across the lot, Wooyoung lingered next to a couple of young guys from the art and sales departments. He glanced at Piper, his eyes trailing over her, then caught me watching and quickly looked away. Hmm, did he still like her? If he did, why had he not tried to win her back?

I knew Piper had claimed he didn’t want to be with her because she was hung up on her ex, but anyone with eyes could clearly see she had feelings for him, as well. But it wasn’t my place to get involved this time. I’d given him the nudge to pursue her to begin with, now it was up to them. Although, maybe it wasn’t a good idea for them to get together until Piper could let go of the past. If she could ever get over Minho. Either way, Wooyoung had done her wrong, too.

“Morning, chicas.” Carlos approached us.

His luggage had tons of stickers and such on it like it’d been around the world a couple of times over. He looked dapper in his tight jeans and pullover sweater, although I thought he might roast in it. Now was not the time to be a fashionista.

“Morning,” I said.

“Hey.” Piper and Kerrie gave him a wave.

“I can’t believe Mr. Cheap Pants is actually paying for us to all go somewhere.” Carlos peered around the parking lot.

“Speaking of Mr. Cheap Pants, where in the world is he? He said to be here no later than six forty-five?” I searched for our boss, too. It wasn’t like him to be late.

A loud horn playing what sounded like a rooster in heat blared as a large army green bus with trees painted and the words Poshitively Urban written on the side came barreling into the lot.

“Holy shit. Is that a school bus someone painted over?” Piper’s mouth gaped as she took in the monstrous metal beast. “I thought I left these kinds of busses behind in high school.”

“Why do I get the feeling this retreat is not going to be what we thought?” Kerrie caught my gaze, the look of fear radiating.

I laughed nervously. “It’s not too late for us to make a run for it.”

Mr. Dancy climbed off the bus wearing what I can only describe as an outfit you’d expect to see in Jurassic Park. He had on khaki shorts, which hung to his knees, almost touching the white socks he had pulled up past his calves with brown sandals adorning his feet. His tan button up shirt had a patch with trees on it sewn to the sleeve. Perhaps a remnant from some Boy Scout type troop he once belonged to and failed to advance beyond the first patch? Atop his head he wore a safari hat. At this point, I was sure he’d haul out a hunting rifle or treasure map.

“Ah, good, you’re all here. Let’s get lined up and on the bus. We have a busy day ahead of us.” He grinned, flagging us forward.

“When in Rome,” Piper said, rolling her suitcase up to the bus.

Mr. Dancy handed her a slip of paper. What had he given her? A moment later, I found out for myself. A coupon for half off the Poshitively Urban stay.

“Make sure to hang onto your coupons, everyone. We’re being given a discount for being their first clients.” He clapped his hands together like this was a good thing.

“Jesus H. Christ,” I muttered. “He’s gone and lost his mind.”

“Also, I think Piper was right, this is definitely an old school bus.” Kerrie ran her hand over one of the poop brown pleather seats.

“I thought I’d hit rock bottom when my boyfriend left, but nope. This is taking over the top spot on my list.” Carlos snorted, following us toward the back of the bus.

“Two people to a seat everyone,” Mr. Dancy said as if we were in elementary school and he was the principal.

“I’ll admit, I’m quite terrified to find out where we’re going,” I whispered as I slid into a seat, followed by Carlos. Piper and Kerrie sat across the aisle from us, both wearing the same mystified expression that was on our whole company’s faces.

“Same. I wouldn’t put it past him to drop us off at some boot camp or something.” Carlos cringed as if realizing his nightmare might come to fruition.

“Don’t speak it into words,” Piper chastised. “Think only positive thoughts.”

“You mean, poshitive thoughts?” Kerrie laughed.

Piper nudged her with her leg. “Ugh, this is no joking matter. This is probably some weird thing Mr. Dancy did to get back at us for having our fans on at the office.”

“Let’s not panic just yet. Who knows, maybe he’ll surprise us,” I said, crossing myself.

But like the others, I knew Mr. Dancy well enough to be worried.

“Now, before we pull out, I need everyone to take one of the waiver papers I’m handing out, as well as a pen. Once they’re all turned in, we’ll be off.”

When Mr. Dancy got to us, I glanced at the form he gave me. “What kind of waiver is this?”

“Oh, it’s just something stating we won’t hold retreat owners liable for any injuries or such during our trip.” He waved it off like it was nothing. “It’s just a release, Maude.”

“It says something here about maiming or drowning? Where in the hell are we going?” Piper peered at me over the top of her waiver form.

“You got me, kid.” I shrugged, and likely against my better judgment, I signed it. “So much for a spa weekend, I guess.”

“Spa?” Mr. Dancy laughed. “No, spa. Think more adventure camp and bonding.”

And with those final words, the bus jerked as it drove out of the lot and onto the main road. We wound around the city until we came to the outskirts of town. Suddenly, the bus lurched, then sped up to a gate with razor wire looped over the top, kind of like in prison movies. Sweet Jesus, had he brought us to a prison?

Next to me, Carlos cursed under his breath. “Now, I’m fearful. We have time to say a prayer, girls. We might need divine intervention.”

“Um, we could hop out the emergency exit,” Piper suggested. “But it might be a painful fall to the cement if we’re moving.”

The gate door slid open, and we entered the oversized parking lot. In the distance, I noticed a huge factory type building. And this was where the bus came to a stop. The brakes hissed, and the door swung open.

“Okay, everyone, get your coupons out, and we’ll head inside.” Mr. Dancy reached to grab a backpack from the floor under his seat.

I trudged into the aisle. “So much for our spa weekend.”

I’m not sure what I thought we’d encounter when we walked in the door, but it wasn’t what I got. A gasp escaped my lips as I searched the room. There were TV monitors mounted to the walls with a woodland scene playing while the sound of water trickling came from hidden speakers. There were faux trees made of metal while fake plants stood in pots. Even the ceiling had monitors hooked to it, showing pictures of a blue sky and clouds rolling by.

“What in the actual hell?” Piper whispered, looping her arm through mine.

“Hello, everyone, and welcome to Poshitively Urban. I’m Karolina with a ‘K,’ and I’ll be your tour guide through the mystical places inside. You’ll find tropical paradises, beaches, woods, rivers, and lakes. And maybe even a few animal surprises along the way.” Her blonde curls bounced like tiny springs.

“Did she say animals?” I asked Kerrie, who’d set her bag at our feet.

“Yeah, but are they real or metal like the foliage?”

“Real. Holy shit!” Piper jumped back. “There’s a snake!” She practically leapt into Carlos’s arms to get out of the way as the reptile slithered across the floor at our feet.

Its long brownish gray base was peppered with reddish-brown stripes or squares. It looked like a familiar breed, maybe a boa? But the question remained, was it venomous?

“Oh, Frank the Snake won’t hurt you. He’s more scared of you than you are of him.” Karolina with a K smiled. Her green eyes were glazed over.

Was she high?

“I don’t do snakes,” Piper said.

Karolina picked up the snake and let it wind around her arm. I had no idea what kind it was, but I was in the same boat as Piper. I didn’t like them.

“Anyone want to pet him?” Our guide held him up.

As a group, we collectively took a step back like we were trying to avoid Godzilla rather than a snake.

“There’s a reason I’m a city girl.” Kerrie picked her bag up off the floor again. Her gaze seemed to search for more animals. “Hopefully, nothing crawls or climbs into our bags and stuff.”

“Alright, Frank, let’s get you back into the main room.”

Once Karolina had released the serpent to God only knew where, she led us into another room—a more open, spacious one. There were more faux metal trees, along with tents placed in different areas. Each one had a metal barrel type trash can with a fire burning inside. There were more monitors with scenes of forests and paths and such.

“Is that a river?” Carlos, eyes widened, pointing ahead of us.

I let out a low whistle. “I’ll be damned, it sure looks like it.”

There, at the center, was a winding lazy river, something you might see at a waterpark. There were even some rapids forming in it. On the bank of the simulated river, were some inner tubes, rafts, and even small canoes.

“This is one of our camping areas. You’ve each been assigned a group that you’ll do activities and stay in a specific area overnight with. We have an island room with a beach, a tropical jungle, and so much more. There will also be mixers to allow for you all interact at once. Oh, and I can’t forget to mention, we have climbing walls and trust bridges.”

“What’s a trust bridge?” One of the accountants raised their hand.

“It’s a rope bridge you’ll help one another over. You have to trust your coworkers and friends to get you across. It’s a great team building exercise.” She gestured to ropes hanging far above the river below.

“I don’t think my old hips can take it,” I said, for once happy to use my age as an excuse to get out of something.

“We have plenty of safety gear. You’ll do just fine.” Karolina had an overabundance of happiness and encouragement to give.

And it was annoying.

“Obviously, we can’t force you to do this, but we highly recommend everyone at least make the attempt if you can. It really is a great morale building experience,” Karolina added, I assumed for my benefit.

“I think I need a drink,” Kerrie said. “Why in the heck didn’t we grab a bottle of something strong before we got on the bus?”

“Yeah, where’s the tiki bar?” Carlos grinned.

Karolina laughed her tinkly bright laugh. “Sorry, no alcohol allowed. You’ll have a great retreat everyone. Now, I have the group lists right here that Mr. Dancy provided me.”

“Jesus, we’re doomed,” I muttered. There were moments in life I looked back on and regretted, and I could tell me not missing the bus this morning, would be one of them.

“Remember, everyone, this is to help us be better workers,” Mr. Dancy said, mirroring Karolina’s positivity. I’m not sure if I imagined it or not, but his gaze seemed to linger on my group.

“Your first challenge? To find your tents and get your beds set up for the night. Each tent will need to be pitched. Then, you’ll get your cots assembled. Now, let’s read off our groups. Wooyoung, Carlos, and Edmund, you’re in tent one, which is in the island area. You’ll have to hike through the woods to get there.” She gestured to a door to our left, fake ivy and foliage hanging from the ceiling. “Group two, Piper, Maude, and Kerrie, you’ll be in tent two. You will need to make your way through the jungle. Watch out for sudden rainstorms and friendly critters.” She touched my arm, prompting us toward a door straight ahead of us, following the river, which seemed to go beneath the wall.

She continued to read off names until everyone had a designated spot. “At each site, you’ll find supplies such as food, water, items to make a fire, as well as a tablet. The tablet will need to be logged into, and you’ll find three activities you’ll be required to complete with your group. When you’re done with those, you’ll be teamed up with another group for a bigger challenge tomorrow. If there are no questions, go ahead and be on your way.”

“If I’d have known we’d have to go hiking, I’d have brought Sophie’s backpack instead of this duffle.” Kerrie attempted to situate it on her shoulder, but to no avail.

“Maybe we can make it like a backpack. Here, let’s try to get the handles around both your shoulders.” Piper set her suitcase down and went to help Kerrie. A few minutes later, they managed to rig it enough to keep from slipping.

“Shall we head out then?” I asked, wondering what in the world Mr. Dancy had gotten us into.

“Yeah, I can lead if you guys want.” Piper clutched a small map that Karolina had handed her.

“Do you even know how to read that thing?” My gaze shifted over the piece of paper she held. Damn, the writing was tiny.

“Mostly. Besides, how hard can it be? We’re in a building.”

Kerrie patted her arm. “Never tempt fate. If we’re too optimistic, something bad will surely happen.”

Not that I was superstitious, but I happened to agree with her on this one.

With Piper in the lead, we pushed through a heavy metal door. Instantly, the air became hotter and more humid. The amount of metal trees and potted plants multiplied tenfold. There were ferns and vines growing everywhere. Were these ones real? I squinted and tried to determine if they were. There was also dirt beneath our feet, too.

The sounds of birds and monkeys echoed around us. From the river, spurts of water flew as an alligator or crocodile lunged, snapping its teeth at us as if prepared to drag us underwater and end our misery.

“Ugh, fuck!” Piper jumped back, nearly knocking Kerrie and I over.

“Wait, that thing is animatronic, it’s not real.” Kerrie still held her hand to her chest, her face paler than it had been when we’d entered.

My heart beat rapidly in my chest, sweat pooling under my boobs. “Judas, how is this anything like a spa weekend?”

Piper laughed. “Sorry, I’m so freaking jumpy now. I mean, first the snake, which I may remind you all is real and roaming around, and now this movie set creature.”

My eyes shifted to the trees above, searching for more real snakes. “How realistic do you guys think they made the jungle?”

“Jury is still out on that.” Kerrie continued forward, following after Piper who’d finally started moving again.

We hadn’t gotten very far when a rumble of thunder sounded and rain fell, drenching us.

“Do you think Mr. Dancy had us get assigned to the jungle on purpose?” Kerrie reached out to keep me from slipping in the mud.

“Oh, I wouldn’t put it past that man.” I wiped my wet hair from my face. So much for styling it earlier. Instead of sitting around, enjoying drinks with tiny umbrellas, I was trying to survive a monsoon.

A low roar echoed around us, and we went still once more.

“That sounded like a big cat.” Piper shot me a desperate look. “What kinds of cats live in jungles?”

“Um, I don’t know. Panthers and jaguars, maybe. Why? Do you think they let some loose in here?” Kerrie squeezed in close to us. “Did any of you bring a weapon?”

“Nope, fresh out of rifles and machetes. Didn’t think we’d need them this trip.” I tried to stay calm, but my pulse soared. If I got out of this place without having a heart attack, it’d be a miracle.

“Let’s keep moving. I’m scared something will get us if we stop. Like we’ll be more of a target.” Piper reached for my arm, pulling me along. Her suitcase almost tipped over as she dragged it through the mud, but she didn’t slow.

“According to the map, our camp should be at a bend in the river,” Piper said, although she no longer held the map.

I hoped she remembered it correctly. Last thing I wanted to do was get lost in the faux jungle with who knew what skulking about.

“How long have we been walking? It feels like hours.” I wiped more sweat from my brow. I hadn’t sweat this much since I did that Richard Simmons aerobics tape back in the eighties.

“Twenty-five minutes,” Kerrie said, looking at her watch. “How the hell could we have been traveling for that long? The building didn’t appear that big when we pulled in, did it?”

“I honestly don’t even know how to answer that. But our making bad time is probably because the trail is muddy, and the foliage, although most of it is fake, is thick.” I swatted at a mosquito. Great, another thing to be on the lookout for. “Did anyone bring bug spray?” We were beginning to sound like broken records every time one of us asked if someone had brought something. We obviously weren’t prepared for this trip.

“Nope, another thing left off my packing list.” Piper turned and sneered at us. “Remind me to smack Mr. Dancy the next time he brings up a great bonding trip idea.”

“Oh, you won’t need a reminder. In fact, I’ll likely beat you to it,” I said.

At last, we came to a clearing on the bank of the river. Here, we found a large zipped case which held our tent. Along with the case was a barrel for our fire, three cots that we’d have to put together, a cooler, and a raft tied off on the shore.

We dropped our luggage, stretching our arms and backs.

“Okay, let’s get this stupid thing set up.” Piper tugged the tent from its bag and proceeded to spread it out. She also found stakes, poles, and rope inside, along with a mallet.

“Are there any directions?” I asked, staring at the bright orange material that would act as our home for the next two nights.

“No, but I think we put the poles together and slide them through these slots in the sides of the tent.” Piper showed us.

So, the three of us went to work trying to weave poles into thin strips of fabric, cursing each time one got stuck. Once we got that part done, we found stakes which we got put into the ground or floor or whatever the heck we were standing on.

“Let’s get our cots inside in case it rains again,” I said.

We fumbled to get the three cots lined up. They barely fit, but at last we had them arranged. To my surprise, it wasn’t so bad inside. We could unzip the windows so we could stare out the screens and let in some air.

“Do you think anything will crawl in here with us?” Kerrie peered around, setting her bag on top of her bed.

“I sure as heck hope not,” I muttered, opting to put my suitcase on my cot, too, at least until we could scout out the area. “Did anyone see the tablet we’re supposed to log into?”

“Yeah, it was by the fire can thing. I can go grab it really quick,” Piper offered.

She came back with the book-sized black device. Piper logged into it with the password that’d been written on our map. “Alright, so it looks like we have three challenges. Our first is to raft the rapids. Once we’re done with that, we have to figure out how to start our fire and cook a meal together. And the last one says we’ll have to wait to get the final challenge until we’ve completed the first two.”

I groaned. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

“We should change into our swimsuits if we’re going to be rafting. No sense getting all our clothes wet.” Kerrie shoved her hair back from her face and opened her bag to rummage through. She pulled out a black one piece bathing suit and pair of flip flops.

Piper and I quickly did the same, grabbing our swim garments, as well. Once done, I adjusted my leopard-print bikini, making sure nothing was hanging out where it shouldn’t be.

“Looks like I picked the right print to fit into the jungle,” I said with a smile.

Kerrie laughed. “Yeah, well, let’s hope we don’t meet up with any real leopards.”

When we were all changed, we made our way out of the tent and toward the raft. Inside, we found three life jackets and three paddles.

I stared out across the river. It was approximately twenty to twenty-five feet from our side of the shore to the other, if I had to guess. The brown water reminded me of our local rivers, and I wondered if they pumped the water in from one of them. Wherever it came from, it was definitely real. Kind of like an amusement park lazy river, but flowing faster. Nothing in this room area was reminiscent of being in a building. There was no spot where you could see the walls. Everything was covered in real or faux greenery and plants. Vegetation was so thick in some places, you could see but a few feet in front of you. Save for the ceiling, which did have some built-in monitors that showed the changing sky. But had someone not pointed out that they were digital screens, I might never have guessed, it was that realistic.

There were even elevation changes throughout, along with mud, dirt, rocks, vines, not to mention the humid temperature. It honestly made me think of the documentaries I’d watched about the Amazon. The whole area we were in gave off jungle vibes.

“Anyone ever been rafting before?” I asked.

Piper nodded. “Once with my stepdad when we took a trip out west. But I was like thirteen or fourteen at the time.”

“I’ve never been on a boat before.” Kerrie frowned.

“Wait, does everyone know how to swim?” I stared at the girls, who both nodded yes. “Thank goodness. At least we won’t drown, or I hope we won’t. Maybe they’ll have some Tarzan-type lifeguards along the river.”

“Funny!” Piper snorted. “I think we’re on our own for this. Maude, do you think you’ll be okay doing this?”

With a chuckle, I nodded. “I’m older, but I’m not as frail as I seem. I do work out, you know.”

Kerrie and I climbed into the raft first, while Piper undid the rope and shoved us off the bank. She quickly hopped in, nearly sending us flying over the edge.

“Okay, everyone grab a paddle. To go straight, we need to paddle on both sides. If we want to turn the raft, we only paddle on one side. Let me show you.”

Piper demonstrated what to do, and we followed her lead. For a moment, I felt myself relax as we drifted down the river. This wasn’t so bad, or so I thought. I watched the scenery as we floated by. It was kind of pretty in a fake, Wizard of Oz Munchkin Land way.

“Does it sound like the water is getting louder?” Kerrie asked, interrupting my reverie.

Piper’s brow furrowed, her eyes widening. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” My fingers gripped tighter to my paddle. I peered around, not sure what I was searching for.

“There are actual rapids ahead. As in, things are about to get rough, ladies. Try to keep us straight and watch out for rocks,” she said.

“Rocks? Are they trying to kill us? We’re not professional whitewater rafters,” I said.

“Apparently, it’s okay to kill people if you’re trying to help them bond and they signed release forms,” Kerrie said.

“Yeah, we’ll bond in death.” Piper shook her head as water splashed her face. “Okay, ladies, paddle when I tell you to, and try to stay in the boat.”

She hollered out commands, letting me and Kerrie know when to paddle. We raced forward like we were on an amusement park ride. The raft dipped low, sending waves up over us. I sputtered, thankful for my life preserver. We battled the rapids for what seemed like hours when I knew only minutes had gone by. My arms were like rubber, and I wasn’t sure how much more paddling I’d be able to do.

The roar of the water got louder, and Piper swore.

“What now?” I turned to look at her.

“Waterfall,” she said. “Take a deep breath, we’re going over.”

Sucking in air greedily, I didn’t have time to brace myself. The next thing I knew, we were going ass over tea kettle down a small waterfall. Time stopped as we flew from the raft. Water rushed over my head, and I kicked my legs, propelling myself to the foamy surface. I made my way toward the shore. Next to me, I noticed Piper and Kerrie doing the same.

“Jesus H. Christ. If Mr. Dancy wanted me to retire, he just had to ask, no need in trying to kill me off. I’m in good shape for my age, but hot damn!” I climbed to the shore, trying to catch my breath and adjust my breast snuggly back into my top. My seventy plus year old body was not in the same shape it used to be. I should be playing shuffleboard in a retirement community, not plunging over waterfalls.

Kerrie laughed. “Well, are we bonded now?”

“I think we were bonded before this unnecessary trip.” Piper stood, wringing water from her hair. “I’d say we should salvage the raft, but I’m not swimming downstream to catch it.”

“Me, either,” I said. “I’m way too old for this horse cocky!”

“Ugh, you realize we have to climb back up there to get to our camp?” Kerrie placed her hands on her hips, glowering at the rock wall in front of us.

“Can we just lay rocks out in an SOS pattern and be rescued?” Or maybe there was an elevator somewhere.

However, upon further inspection, I found nothing to help us. No flares, or phones, or Coast Guard. Nothing.

“Wait, here’s some rope on the shore. I think it was supposed to be for tying the raft off, but since we no longer have a raft, we can use it for climbing. Let me go up first, then I can tie it off up there and help pull you guys up.” Piper tossed her life jacket onto the ground.

Piper climbed quicker than I thought she would. Soon, she tossed the rope down to us. Kerrie climbed up next, struggling to get a good grip. But at last, she heaved herself up and over as well.

Now, it was my turn, but before I started to make the attempt, Piper groaned then hollered down to me. “Wish I would’ve seen those sooner.” She pointed to the side off the faux rocks where partially hidden stairs had been carved into the wall of rock. “Well, I guess I got a full workout today.”

“Lucky for me.” I heaved a sigh of relief. At least, I wouldn’t chance falling off the rope and breaking my hip. Taking the stairs, I met up with the girls.

When we reached the top of the rock wall, we trudged in the direction of our camp. Never did I think I’d be so excited to see a tent in my life. We changed, then Piper went over to the barrel trying to figure out how to get a fire going.

“Wait a second, you guys. I think this is actually a propane grill or stove made to look like a can.” She gestured to the knobs on the side of it.

“I think you’re right.” I stood behind her and peered over her shoulder.

While Piper messed with the knobs on it, Kerrie and I found a sack with various food items tucked behind our tent. Someone had likely placed it there after we’d left on our rafting trip.

Damn people probably videotaped the whole escapade.

“Grill is now going,” Piper said. “Who knew camping trips and grilling with my stepdad would prove to be detrimental to our spa weekend survival.”

We made hotdogs over the flame and found snack-sized bags of chips and cans of beans to go with it.

“I’m normally not a hotdog person, but this tastes good.”

“It might’ve been our brush with death that made you hungry enough to devour them.” Kerrie grinned.

“So, what’s next on our challenges? Or dare I ask?” I wiped my hands on a napkin, then threw it in the fire.

Piper grabbed the tablet. “Challenge three is, in your group, come up with the perfect greeting card idea.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I snorted. “Of course, leave it to Mr. Dancy to get some work out of us through all this. Can’t say we didn’t see this coming.”

Kerrie cleared her throat. “Or we can skip the card stuff and maybe talk about other things.” Her voice got softer as if there was something she wanted to say to us, but wasn’t quite sure how start.

“Like what?” Piper set her half-eaten bag of chips on the ground next to her.

“I don’t know, possibly tell one another a secret we haven’t told anyone else?” Kerrie glanced between us.

“I-I’m game if you guys are.” Piper rubbed her hands against her leg. “There’s something I kind of want to get off my chest.”

We all got quiet. I swallowed hard. There was only one secret I was harboring, but was I ready to share it yet? As I watched the girls, I realized they were the closest I had to family now.

Piper fidgeted with a string on her shirt, then began. “I-I can go first. I’m a chicken, in the sense that I don’t want to turn out like my mom, who has been married so many times. I thought because of my relationship with Minho, there’s no way I’d be like her. But then he cheated and left. I’ve had a super hard time letting him go.” Tears welled in her eyes. “The truth is, Wooyoung breaking up with me is kind of my fault. I never truly gave him a chance.”

“He still shouldn’t have kept secrets,” Kerrie said.

“She’s right, he shouldn’t have. But you also need to learn to let go, Piper. You have so much to offer the right man.” I gave her hand a squeeze.

“I really screwed up with Wooyoung, and the sad part is, I think I’ve fallen in love with him. That’s my secret. That I love him, but don’t know how to tell him or show him. I mean, my mom was never the huggy-lovey, show-your-kid-affection kind of parent.”

We moved to hug her. “After our trip, you have to tell him.”

Kerrie nodded. “She’s right. You have to at least try.”

“Alright, my confession is over. Someone else’s turn.” Piper wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

Kerrie wrung her hands together. “I’ll go now. I know I’ve implied Hal and I are on good terms with our divorce, but the truth is, we’re not. I’m only living there because I can’t afford a place of my own. He literally brings other women into our house and has sex in our bed with them. And he expects me to cook, clean, do all the running for the kids, and all the while he’s off having a good time. When he asked for a divorce, he told me I wasn’t fun anymore.” This time, she teared up, watching for our reactions. “He made me promise not to tell the kids or his family about our divorce because he didn’t want to be the bad guy.”

“He what ?” Piper screeched. “That selfish bastard is the bad guy. What an asshole!”

Kerrie laughed and cried simultaneously. “I know. I’ve been so weak in all this, worried if I said or did the wrong thing, he’d kick me out. But I’m done lying for his sake.”

“Good girl. You’re stronger than you think,” I said.

“I’m trying.”

Piper rubbed her shoulder. “This is why we have the no penises allowed club.”

“Well, except for Carlos,” I added.

They giggled. “What about you, Maude?” Piper turned to me.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, trying to form words. In the end, I just blurted it out for the sake of getting it over with. “Corny didn’t really leave me. I mean, he left me, but not in the same sense as your beaus did. Corny passed away.”

Both women gasped, then were silent for several seconds before Piper moved closer. “Maude, oh God. Why didn’t you say something?”

She embraced me, then was joined by Kerrie. They held me while I cried. Tears I’d been holding in for so long. My chest tightened as I recalled the phone messages, the trip to the hospital, the words the doctor uttered. He’s gone. A lump formed in my throat, my sinuses burning.

“Corny lied to me. He was supposed to be taking his medication for various health conditions and hadn’t been doing it. For months, he didn’t even refill his prescriptions. Corny died from a ruptured brain aneurysm. Something that could’ve possibly been prevented. I’m just so damned angry with him. Fifty years of marriage, and he didn’t even tell me he’d quit taking his meds. If I’d paid closer attention or he’d shared this with me, I could’ve fought to make sure he’d kept up on his health. I could’ve taken care of him. I-I wouldn’t have let him exhaust himself driving me to and from work.” I hiccupped through more tears. “I’m not sure whether to be sad, or mad, or what.”

“There’s no right way to grieve,” Piper said. “When my dad passed, I was numb for the first bit, then I had a stage of acting out and crying. But I wish you would’ve told us sooner. We could’ve done more for you.”

Emptiness seemed to swallow me. My body sagged against my friends, their arms the only thing keeping me upright as the dam finally broke. “Not much anyone can do. He’s gone. Corny’s gone, and he’s never coming back.” I sobbed, letting the grief finally overtake me. “Somedays, I feel as if I might perish from a broken heart. I mean, how do I keep going on without him?”

“We’ll be here, Maude. We’re not going anywhere,” Kerrie said. “We’ll get through all this together.”

“Agreed, we have one another.” Piper clutched us tighter. “From now on, no more secrets between us.”

Like angels, Kerrie and Piper consoled me. Maybe Mr. Dancy had been right. Maybe we had needed this bonding weekend in the metal jungle.