Grinding (Portland Icehawks #6)

23. Forget about Our Worries

Chapter Twenty-Three

FORGET ABOUT OUR WORRIES

~~Inez~~

Seeing Camden’s eyes light up when he talks about hockey does my heart good, even while I’m filled with a sense of dread. One or both of us could lose everything. We’re playing a dangerous game with our careers, yet the possible ramifications aren’t doing much to deter us.

Nothing worth having is ever easy, and being with Camden is by far the most difficult and out-of-character thing I’ve ever done. I’m not this person. I’m the straight-arrow rule follower, except where he’s concerned.

We can’t continue our subterfuge indefinitely. Eventually we’ll slip up and be exposed. Even something as simple as dining together in an out-of-the-way restaurant doesn’t guarantee complete privacy.

If Aria ever gets a hint something’s up, she’ll track us down like a bloodhound.

Camden is oblivious to my distress. He’s riding high on his performance tonight, and I’m not going to burst his bubble. He stabs a piece of lettuce with his fork and chews thoughtfully.

“Is there any truth to the Drakos trade rumors? He claims there isn’t. If you can’t talk about it, I understand. I don’t want to compromise your integrity regarding your job.”

My laugh is hollow. “I’m already compromised.”

Camden smiles, but he’s clearly uncomfortable with my statement.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to lay a guilt trip on you.”

“Was that a guilt trip?” he quips.

“My behavior is entirely my choice. You aren’t responsible.”

“I feel as if I am.” He stares down at his now-empty salad plate before snagging his fourth breadstick.

I lean across the table and grab his hands in mine. I hold them as if my life depends on it. “No, you aren’t. I’ve never been in this territory before. I’m usually in control of every situation, but I’m unable to control my feelings for you.”

“And what are those feelings?” He watches me intently. My answer matters to him—a lot.

I open my mouth to utter some bullshit nonsense, but that’s not what comes out. “I’m falling for you.” My admission should shock me, as I’ve been in denial regarding what’s really going on with my heart, but it doesn’t. I knew.

He nods, and his mouth is a firm, thin line. “I’ve already fallen.”

We stare at each other in complete silence, neither certain how to proceed. The waiter arrives with our entrées. I’ve lost my appetite, but Camden never loses his. He digs in and devours his dinner while I pick at mine. I ponder what he’s just told me.

I’ve already fallen.

So have I. I’m not just falling, I’ve fallen, and I’m in love with him. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t know how to keep him.

Camden cleans his plate and puts down his fork. He glances pointedly at my plate. “Not hungry?”

I shrug. He’s just told me he’s fallen for me, then wolfs down his meal. Men are enigmas. While I’m fretting too much to eat.

Our lives are intertwined in the most complicated of ways, and we can’t seem to stop ourselves from heading down a self-destructive path.

“What are we going to do?” he asks.

“Hell if I know.” I manage a sad smile.

“Inez, I don’t have a contract for next year. I could end up anywhere, or I might find myself playing in Europe if I want to keep playing hockey.”

“You’re only twenty-eight. It seems a little early to hang up your skates.”

“I know. I was prepared to do just that until lately. I’ve rediscovered my love for the game, and I don’t want to let that slip through my fingers, but I don’t want to lose you either.”

“Why don’t we take this one day at a time?”

“I guess that’s all we can do unless we want to end it.”

“I don’t. Do you?” It’s a stupid question, and I already know the answer. Obviously, he doesn’t want to end it, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

“No way in hell, but Drakos knows, and Kirby seems suspicious. I don’t think we’ve been as clever as we thought.”

“Shit.”

“The smart thing to do would be to lie low until the season is over, but I don’t want to do the smart thing.”

“Neither do I.” I’m in new territory. I’ve never been in a situation even remotely similar to this one.

“What do we do next?”

I meet his gaze, and he reads the desire in my eyes. “We go to my apartment and find a way to forget about our worries for a while.”

I’m all in. I shouldn’t be, but when it comes to this man, my practical side takes a vacation.

As Camden drives down the dark streets, a wicked idea overrides what’s left of my common sense. Being with him obliterates my uptight, rule-follower image. All I want to do is break out of my self-prescribed box and be bold and adventurous.

I place a hand on his crotch and am pleased to find he’s already hard as a rock. “I see you’re ready to go.”

“I’m ready to go a second after I see you.”

I unzip his fly and pull his boxers down to release his cock from its confinement. I run a fingertip up and down his dick before fisting it in my hand and pumping up and down. Camden has one hand on the wheel, and the other is stroking the back of my head. He’s taking labored breaths, and I’m giddy with the knowledge that I can turn this man to Jell-O.

I bend down and take him in my mouth, and his groan is that of a tortured, lost soul about to find paradise. I know the feeling.

For the majority of my life, I’ve felt like a throwaway. My family doesn’t want me. I don’t belong anywhere. And my only interest in life to date is hockey and my job. Camden changes all that, and I’m going to reward him for giving me a new lease on life and something other than work to look forward to.

I suck on him, then bob up and down until I have him squirming and moaning.

He whips the car to the curb and moves his seat as far back as it’ll go. He leans his head against the headrest and closes his eyes as I show him how happy I am to see him tonight.

I sense he’s about ready to come, and I cup his balls in my other hand and squeeze lightly.

“You’re fucking killing me.” He surprises me by lifting me up and away.

“Why’d you stop me?” I’m greatly disappointed and protest.

“To start something else.” He fishes a condom from his wallet. I snag it and open the wrapper. He watches as I roll it onto his cock.

“What did you have in mind?” I cast my most sultry siren look at him, and his responding laughter sounds strained from the tension of holding back.

“Straddle me.”

I consider the distance between his body and the steering wheel, deciding it’ll be tight but it’s doable. I don’t wait for a second invitation but yank off my jeans and panties. I climb on top of him and lower myself onto his dick. He feels so damn good inside me. I wish we could stay like this forever. I’m tight, and he fills me completely, not just physically but emotionally.

“Fuck me. Give me everything you’ve got.” His raspy tone is sexy as hell and destroys what little control I have.

I’m like a wild woman riding a rodeo bronc. He’s bucking and twisting, and I’m going with the movement while driving up and down on him. At some point, I adjust as best I can and take him even deeper than before.

We’re at heaven’s door, and I open it to the largest orgasm I’ve had in my life. I cry out his name as the last waves roll over me. He’s already spent, and we cling to each other.

“I love you more than hockey,” he says, still panting.

“More than hockey? That’s incredible.” I’m teasing, and his hearty laugh is more reward. “Well, I love you more.”

“Wanna bet?” His challenge comes with a chuckle, and he captures my mouth for another searing kiss that sends shock waves down to my very toes.

Suddenly headlights blind both of us. I freeze for a moment before realizing the intruder has stopped right in front of us, blocking our path. I scramble off Camden, giggling in spite of the situation.

An officer raps on the window just as Camden is tucking his cock back into his boxers and zipping up his jeans. He hits the window button to open it.

“Hi, Officer, what can we help you with?” He hasn’t completely regained his breath, and it’s obvious what we’ve been doing.

The officer scowls. “Aren’t you two a little old to be doing it in a car? Don’t you have a house to go home to?”

“Uh, yes, sir. We got carried away, Officer. Sorry. Didn’t mean to cause any problems.”

The man leans down to get a good look at me. I smile my most innocent smile. He nods with a smirk. “Next time, you might choose a better location than the police station parking lot.” He sketches a salute and walks off.

Camden and I break into fits of laughter. We’d been so hot for each other we hadn’t noticed where we were. Chalk one up to adventurous Inez, my naughty alter ego who’s come out to play as she’s never played before.

Being with Camden causes me to do things I’d have never done in the past, and I like it. Maybe too much.