29. Confessions
Chapter Twenty-Nine
CONFESSIONS
The Icehawks are now tied for the last playoff spot with plenty of hockey left. I have to applaud Inez Lewis and Brian Werkle for their brilliant work on putting this team together, and the coaching staff for melding them into a cohesive unit. They’ve been fun to watch. —Aria at All Hockey News
~~Inez~~
I stare at Aria’s latest article in absolute shock. Every morning for the past week, I’ve checked to see if we’ve been outed. I’ve lived in dread, and then she publishes something like this. What kind of game is she playing?
Camden and I are super careful not to be seen with each other, but it’s only a matter of time. We both know it’s coming, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. We just don’t understand what’s taking so long. After several discussions with no acceptable solutions, I’m debating over the unacceptable one. I’m going to resign, but I won’t tell Camden until the deed is done. I’ll find another job. Mr. B would never go so far as to blackball me.
I’m on my way to find Brian and tell him right now. He’s watching practice, and I take the elevator down to that level. Damn my bad luck, Aria is walking down the hall when I exit.
We lock eyes before Aria looks away. To my surprise she approaches me. I tense up and hold my tongue, certain I’m not going to appreciate what she has to say.
“Inez, a private word with you, please?”
“What do you need?” I eye her suspiciously but turn toward an unoccupied conference room. She follows. I shut the door behind us and lean against it. I don’t bother to disguise my irritation. If she’s going to gloat about ruining my life and getting the scoop on the biggest pro hockey scandal of the year, I don’t want to hear it.
“I want to come clean with you.”
“About what?” I’m worried she’s laying a trap because I don’t trust this woman.
“Trace Harrison.”
I don’t say a word, but I’m sick inside. I know what’s coming.
“I’ve been paying him for dirt on the team, and now his wife has been fired. I know you’re not going to believe this, but I feel like shit about putting her in a bad situation. You realize he’s abusive, right?”
“Yes, I do.” I’m puzzled. This isn’t what I’ve been expecting at all.
“Shelby and I struck up a friendship, and frankly I’m worried about her. I haven’t been able to reach her since the day she left employment. I think he did something to her.” Aria is 100 percent concerned. She can’t be faking this. She really cares about Shelby.
“That concerns me, too.”
“But that’s not what I want to talk to you about, but if you do hear from her, I’d really appreciate it if you’d let me know if she’s okay. I know I have no right to ask you for a favor, but I’m sick with worry.”
“I can do that,” I say, surprising myself. “What else?” I’m eager to end this conversation.
“I know about your affair with Camden Hale.” Her expression is unreadable.
My world starts spinning, and I use the wall to prop myself up, even as my knees threaten to buckle. Fuck, I’m not going to faint, am I? I’m stronger than that. I swallow hard, ignore the protest building in my gut, and stand up straight.
“And you’re giving me a heads-up before you destroy my life?” I spit out each word with venom, even as I recognize I did this to myself, fully aware of the consequences.
“I’m not going to publish the information.”
“What?” I heard her wrong. I’m certain I did.
“Your secret is safe with me.”
“Why would you do that? We don’t even like each other.”
“Because—” Aria stops, clearly struggling with something. “Because of all those little girls trying to break the glass ceiling and be successful in a male-dominated field.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re a good GM, Inez. Your pickup of Camden was brilliant. No one else saw what you saw in him. Your draft choices are tearing up their respective leagues. You’ve grown into the job, and I don’t want to see you lose it because you—” She swallows hard and blinks tears away. I’m stunned at her emotional reaction. “Because you fell in love.”
Her reaction is strange, to say the least. There’s a story there, but I’m not asking.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. It’s hard enough being a woman in a man’s world without me adding to the difficulty. Revealing your affair would get me notoriety for a few days, but the far-reaching damage to women struggling to prove they belong in men’s professional hockey would be set back by years. I won’t do that. You deserve the praise I gave you in my article.”
“Thank you.” I’m in a state of disbelief, but there’s no mistaking the sincerity of Aria’s words. She means them.
“I need to be going.” She hurries past me and leaves the room.
I watch her go, realizing Camden and I have dodged a bullet. Never more than now have I been reminded that people aren’t black and white but shades of gray. Aria gave up the scoop of the year for a greater cause, but I know us being found out is still a matter of time.
I think about those little girls she mentioned who dare to dream of bigger things, things they’re told they can’t do because of their gender, and I know in my heart what I must do before someone does it for me.
I continue my search for Brian, who’s in a viewing area above the practice rink. I walk in. He’s the only one present. My hands are clammy, and I wipe them on my jacket.
Brian spots me and smiles. I manage a shaky one in return.
“Inez, I’m glad you’re here. I want to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.” I watch him with trepidation.
“Hale has turned out to be a diamond in the rough. I want to offer him a three-year contract with the Icehawks. I think he deserves it. Knowing how close you are to him, I wanted to tell you first.”
“Camden will be ecstatic.” I study his face, but there’s no indication that his notion of my perceived closeness to Camden is anything more than friendly. I’m thrilled for Camden, and I know now more than ever I must resign. I must be the one to make the sacrifice. I’ll miss this team and the staff, but it’s time to come clean.
“I’ll be talking with his agent today.”
I nod.
“I thought you’d be happy.” He furrows his brow and regards me with confusion.
“I am. I really am. Brian, there’s something I have to tell you, and you aren’t going to like it.”
Now he’s beyond baffled. “Okay, what is it?”
I sit down in one of the chairs and motion him to do the same. My throat thickens with emotion and threatens to overwhelm me. It takes every ounce of strength I have not to cry. I’m going to be brave, and I’m going to tell him now. He and Mr. B will agree to let me leave the position for some made-up reason, and those little girls will still have their shot at that glass ceiling.
“Camden and I have been seeing each other.” There, I said it, and as traumatic as it will be to lose this job, I’m relieved. A huge weight lifts off my shoulders, and I know I’ve done the right thing.
Brian is expressionless as he stares at me, but he’s not talking, and I start to fidget.
“I’m resigning as of now. I’m so sorry. I betrayed the trust you and Mr. B placed in me, and I deeply regret doing so, but I don’t regret being with Camden.”
Finally, Brian speaks. “Do you love him? Because I can’t see any other reason that follow-the-rules Inez would do something so reckless and damaging to herself and the team.”
“Yes, I love him. I also loved this job. Know that we didn’t plan on this happening. We didn’t.”
He doesn’t respond.
“I’ll clear out my office and leave.” I head for the door just as it opens to reveal Aunt Matilda. By the stern scowl on her face, she’s heard everything.
“Inez, we haven’t accepted your resignation yet,” the lady in purple declares.
I turn slowly, expecting Brian to disagree, but he doesn’t say a word.
“I can’t stay in my position, and I can’t give up Camden to stay here.”
“We need to think on this, Inez. It’s come as a shock to Brian, and we need to involve Stan. We’re not making any rash decisions. Go home, and we’ll call you back when we’re ready to talk.”
I’m puzzled, but I don’t have it in my heart to argue. I nod and hurry from the room. I don’t speak to anyone and don’t start crying until I’m in the safety of my apartment.
Then I text Camden and tell him what I’ve done.