twenty-five
If it weren’t for his ears, I might never know how Thurl was feeling. Very expressive, those pointed ears of his. When I mentioned talking about being his mate, they drooped like a two-week-old flower arrangement. They sprang back to attention when I said we could talk later.
He obviously thought I was going to reject him.
I wasn’t sure. I needed more information, thus the talk. I certainly wasn’t ready to give him up, but did I want to be permanently tied to him?
After my last boyfriend bust, I figured I’d be the single old cat lady of the neighborhood. I was fine with that. Mostly. The sex toys available these days were incredible, but Thurl was packing something even the most creative company hadn’t thought up.
And he was so warm. And cozy. And I’m not ashamed to admit it was nice knowing he could keep me safe. Especially since being a witness and being attacked were probably connected. Oh, you’re a drug lord? How cute. Meet my monstrous boyfriend, who has teeth, claws, and horns and was bred to be a weapon.
The only problem being that I couldn’t stay here forever. I would need to go back to work, and I couldn’t rely on Emma to take care of my clowder. Thurl seemed fine with the cats, but I guessed having a dozen instead of just two in his house would be a bit much.
If I had all the money in the world, I could quit teaching and work with Emma at the rescue. That was a pipe dream I liked to bring out and dust off on the weekends. I’d miss my kids, but the cats were my first love.
The smell of breakfast filled the kitchen. Nanna had covered every inch of counter space with bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes, toast, and fruit. She hadn’t been there long enough to make all of it, and I didn’t think there was a crumb left in Thurl’s pantry after the night before, so I must owe Roul a trip to the grocery store.
Metaphorically speaking, of course. I giggled at the thought of the massive, red-eyed beast choosing a cantaloupe in the produce section.
Said beast came through the front door, loaded down with even more platters of food.
“Just set those anywhere, dear, and bring in the rest.”
My mouth fell open. “The rest? There’s more?”
“Of course there is. None of the ‘fangs know how to cook, and Kendal admitted she could burn water. With as huge as they are, they need a lot of calories.”
She gave me an exaggerated wink and I braced myself.
“Besides, if you two got up to what I would’ve gotten up to last night, you need the nourishment.”
I groaned and rolled my eyes.
Thurl leaned down and whispered in my ear, “She’s not wrong.”
I sent my elbow backwards into his belly. “Don’t encourage her.”
Nanna sighed and threw the back of her hand up to her forehead. “Alas, I couldn’t tempt any of the unattached, even after I gave them a rundown on my affair with Killian. Young people these days just don’t appreciate the experience that comes with age.”
Roul reappeared carrying what I hoped was the last of the trays. I reached out and grabbed his forearm.
“Did she assault you?”
He grunted.
“I’m sorry, I don’t speak grunts. I can go grab a doll and you can point to where the bad touches happened.”
His lips twitched up in the weakest excuse for a smile I’d ever seen. It was glorious. I decided in that second that cheering him up was my new mission in life. I added a mental note to talk to Thurl about finding his mate while we talked tonight.
I was sure she had no idea how it was affecting him for her to be gone. If only she knew, she would come back.
Unless she planned to reject him.
I frowned. That was no good. No, I couldn’t think that way. She just didn’t know, and I was determined for her to find out.
Thurl waited until Roul unburdened himself before asking, “The others?”
“On their way.”
Nanna patted his elbow. I’m sure she meant the pat for his shoulder, but she was too short to reach.
“Go sit down now.” She followed him with her eyes, a small smile on her lips. “Such a good boy.”
I choked. “Nanna! They aren’t dogs.”
She waggled her eyebrows. “Oh, I’m well aware. I just mean that he’s incredibly sweet and kind.”
It was Thurl’s turn to choke. He left my side and went to sit next to Roul, where they exchanged a flurry of whispers. I made my way to Nanna.
“Are you okay?”
She beamed up at me. “I’m perfectly fine. He’s so sweet. Every time I got up to go pee, he would check on me. Make sure I didn’t need anything.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t know what’s made him so sad, but I’d like to give her a swift kick in the canoe.”
I laughed. “How do you know it’s a her?”
“Honey, that kind of sad is always heartbreak.”
The arrival of Quin raised the volume in the house and made side conversations impossible. When the three humans were patting the food babies in their bellies and the ‘fangs were polishing off every scrap of the food, Kendal came to check on me.
“Settling in okay?”
“Yes, I have. I don’t know where you found that mattress, but it’s heaven.” I felt the blush creep up my neck and hoped she would ignore it.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” She didn’t wink, but it was clear in her voice.
I had to laugh. If there was anyone else in the entire world who knew what the experience was like, it was her. Which brought to mind… “Can you tell me about the mate thing?”
“Sure. What do you want to know?”
“Everything. All Thurl has said is that it’s permanent, but it’s my decision. He implied that he’d be more than heartbroken if I reject him.”
Her voice went up an octave. “Are you going to reject him?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t know. I need more information. I don’t think I can decide without knowing everything.” I stared out the window, which was the only place I could avoid anyone looking back. “How did you decide?”
Kendal snorted. “Drym and I sort of bonded through trauma. I was drawn to him instantly and fell completely in love. There was… a lot going on, and I wanted that connection. The decision was simple for me.” She leaned forward to catch my eyes. “I get that it’s difficult, but sometimes the leap is worth it. What does your gut say?”
I looked at Thurl. He was crouched next to Nanna’s chair, his palms out as she piled cookies into his hands. The way he’d folded his body looked uncomfortable. My gut said he would sit there for as long as she wanted him to. He was big and objectively scary looking. His claws and teeth were sharp. He could probably stab people with his horns, and I was pretty sure my attacker was no longer living or in one piece.
But he was a marshmallow. Soft and squishy on the inside. I wanted to take care of him.
Holy crap. I wanted to love him.
I spent the rest of what turned into brunch in a daze. I’m not sure I responded appropriately when spoken to, or even at all. I vaguely remembered being asked direct questions. I was lost in my head, analyzing my feelings from every angle I could.
Would it be so bad to mate with Thurl? What was the worst possible outcome? That we grew to hate each other? That happened to married couples all the time. Even without the remedy of divorce, I’m sure some kind of mutually beneficial solution could be found.
He’d said ‘fated mate.’
Meant for each other. In a designed way, not an amorphous one. Specifically created or chosen for each other.
Why would the fates choose to pair mates who’d grow to resent each other?
They wouldn’t.
Taking that off the table, the worst possible outcome was us—what? Growing old together? Living happily ever after?
I was delusional. Seeing an outcome I wanted to see. Rose-colored glasses shoved firmly up my nose. There had to be a catch.
I barely registered when Thurl took my hand and led me outside and pushed me into the porch swing. He crouched in front of me, his ears at half-mast.
“Are you all right?”
I nodded. Tried for a smile but it fizzled. “I’m fine.”
His tongue licked at his muzzle as he inspected the porch boards. “Would you like to talk now?”
His entire frame sagged like an old balloon. I stomped the urge to run my fingers through the fur at his neck and stiffened my spine. “What’s the catch?”
His head tilted, but that porch board was fascinating. “Catch?”
“There has to be a catch, right? Nothing is ever perfect. Why should the mate thing be any different?”
The back door swung open with a bang and we both jumped. Nanna smiled softly at me, her hands wrapped around a thick binder held to her chest. She stepped around Thurl and held it out to me.
“I borrowed this from the common hall. I knew you’d be analyzing every angle, but sweetheart, some things can’t be analyzed. Magic, the fates, and most of the supernatural world fall into that category.”
I took the binder from her and stared down at its nondescript cover.
“That said,” she waved her hand at the book, “they can be explained a bit better than a wave of the hand and a mumbled abracadabra.”
She patted Thurl on the head. “Come help an old woman clean up. Jade will be in after a while.”
I caught his worried look from the corner of my eye before he followed Nanna inside. My focus was on the table of contents which identified this binder as about shifters. Highlighted in the table of contents was “The Fates & Fated Mates.” I thumbed through to that section and read.
Thirty minutes later, I flipped back to the table of contents. There was a phone number, preceded by the word “bacon.” I hoped I wasn’t about to call a butcher, but I had one question left and if the person on the other end of this line could answer it, then I’d risk buying some breakfast meat.
I barely heard a single ring before a lilting female voice answered.
“Go for Bacon.”
“Umm… hi.”
“Hi?” She drew the word out, making it even more of a question.
“Sorry.” I cleared my throat and started over. “I’m Jade, and I’m holding a binder that you gave to … a friend of mine. I have a question and saw this number on the table of contents page.”
“Oh. Well then, hello Jade. What can I do for you?”
I had no idea if the person on the other end of the line knew about Society, or the wyrfangs in particular. Her number was in the book, but people changed numbers all the time. “Do you know my friend?”
“If you’re holding the binder, then yes, we’ve met. Which one of the ‘fangs is your friend?”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Thurl.”
“Oooh, red eyes, big arms. So, what can I do for you, Jade?”
“Are the fates ever wrong?”
“What?”
“Do they ever get it wrong? Are there fated mates who end up not standing each other and being miserable?”
I heard her chuckle. “Those bitches have a one-hundred-percent perfect track record. It’s why all the shifters were so heartbroken when they were cut off from mates—though they seemed to have reversed course on that.”
“Your binder explained that. They were mad at Fenrir?”
“Yeah, the ultimate player and dead set on bagging a moirae. Idiot. Now mates are popping up all over, relatively speaking. Well, at least in Damruck.”
Silence reigned for several moments before she cleared her throat.
“Look, Jade, I know it’s scary, especially for someone new to Society, but if Thurl is your mate, you have nothing to worry about.”
“He says I am, but how do I know?”
“As long as I’ve known them, which I admit isn’t long, none of the ‘fangs have lied. Even about the smallest thing. The type of trauma they lived through forges a person. You come out the other side either good or evil, and they’re good ones.”
I chewed my bottom lip. “You sound like you’re talking from personal experience.”
“I am.”
She didn’t elaborate. My heart ached for her, but I didn’t press. “Then I suppose I only have one more question.”
“Shoot.”
“Why Bacon?”
She snort laughed, which set off my own giggles.