Chapter Eleven
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Dan shuffled along in the breakfast line at the shelter, filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation he hadn’t felt in forever. He hadn’t been able to get a bed anywhere last night, so he’d slept in one of his preferred alternate spots under some trees behind a pawn shop a few blocks away.
Sleeping on the streets came with its own risks, and he was used to people treating him like shit stuck to the bottom of their shoe. Since becoming homeless, he’d been verbally and physically assaulted, robbed, and even pissed on by people because they thought he was that far beneath them.
Nobody gave a shit what happened to him, about how he’d wound up here or that he’d proudly served his country in two war zones. He’d been such a na?ve fucking idiot back then.
Today, all that changed. He would send a message and take a stand against those who had put him here. People were fed up with the global establishment and ready to fight back.
He spotted TJ sitting at the end of a table across the room, hunched over his plate, and headed over. The guy was hard to figure out. Kept to himself, a real loner, but a fellow vet and one of the best guys Dan had met on the streets. He never had to worry about being attacked or harassed when TJ was around.
“Mornin’,” he said, taking the chair beside him.
“Morning,” TJ answered without looking up.
“You stay here last night?”
TJ shook his head as he chewed a bite of pancake.
“Me neither.” He wolfed down half his scrambled eggs and potatoes, the ravenous void in his stomach easing. “You got another shift at the site today?”
TJ nodded.
Dude had a decent work ethic, he’d give him that. “Just so you know, you can make one-and-a-half times that with us over the weekend.” He stabbed a bite of sausage, shoved it into his mouth. “Can’t believe I’m getting paid for it. I’d fuck their shit up for free.”
TJ didn’t answer, just kept his head down and kept eating. Annoyed, Dan lowered his fork and gave him a hard stare. “I don’t understand why you don’t care. Aren’t you pissed off? Doesn’t it bother you that those hypocrite bastards are living the high life—on our backs—with their mansions and private jets, and now they’re in our city to call the shots that wind up with more of us on the street? And that they don’t give a shit so long as they get richer?”
Nothing.
“Look at this.” He gestured around him at the shelter dining hall. Every table was full, and the lineup for food was out the door. It was like that every day. “It’s not fucking right, and they never listen because they think anyone who’s not a billionaire doesn’t matter. It’s up to us to teach them a lesson.”
TJ’s only reaction was to glance up at him for a second, then keep eating.
Dan shook his head. “Man, you piss me off sometimes.” He plowed through the rest of his breakfast in silence while TJ finished his own meal and drank the last of his coffee. It was weird. They didn’t seem to agree on some things, yet Dan couldn’t help but admire him. TJ exuded a quiet, unshakable confidence Dan recognized as a leadership quality and wouldn’t be surprised if TJ had been an officer.
That only made it all the fucking worse that he was on the streets now. People who served their country honorably should be taken care of when they came back home. Period.
TJ stood and picked up his empty plate. “See you.”
“Yeah, but think about it, okay? Message me if you change your mind.” Though he was pretty sure TJ wouldn’t. “Hey,” he added when TJ started to walk away.
TJ stopped, looked back at him.
If he wasn’t going to be personally involved, Dan felt he should at least warn him about what was going to happen. “Watch yourself out there. Especially around sixteen-hundred-hours.”
TJ stared at him a long moment, then gave him a nod and walked away. And even though Dan didn’t understand him, he couldn’t help but envy him a little. Despite everything TJ had gone through and the fucked-up hand life had dealt him, it still seemed like he had his shit together compared to the rest of them.
****
Ryder’s voice came through Gavin’s earpiece as the vehicle he was riding in approached the downtown core. “Echo Two, what’s your status?”
Seated in the front passenger seat of the SUV, Gavin took in the scene on the street as they approached the conference center and tapped his earpiece to respond. “Two minutes out. Route secure.”
The mood was grim, a growing sense of hostility that continued to build as they got closer to their destination. A thin stream of protesters already lined the sidewalks up ahead near the south side of the conference center, but so far the heightened police presence on the streets seemed to be keeping everything under control.
Using the feeds their IT department had secured for them, he pulled up the center’s security camera feeds on his phone and checked in with his brother, who was already there. “What’s the situation out front?”
“Crowd’s still growing, but so far the protest’s peaceful and contained within the security barriers.”
The feeds confirmed the same. “Copy that.”
The city had doubled the police presence in anticipation of the protests to make a statement and to stave off violence as the weekend wore on. Having experienced combat, Gavin knew how quickly a situation like this could turn ugly, and no one on their team was taking any chances. This job was a big deal, and Crimson Point Security’s reputation was on the line.
Behind the wheel, Cassie, another new agent, spoke. “We good?”
“All good.” In the backseat, their Canadian diplomat VIP was in the midst of an intense conversation with his assistant and whoever they had on conference call. Gavin turned in his seat to look at him. “Sir, we’re two minutes from the hotel.”
The man nodded and continued speaking into his phone, not really paying attention. But that was fine. As his personal bodyguard for the weekend, it was Gavin’s job to worry about and stay on top of all security concerns.
Up ahead, a cluster of protesters waving signs behind the security barricades containing the crowd saw the vehicle with its tinted windows approaching and surged forward slightly, hemmed in by the barriers. Gavin spotted a brick in someone’s upraised hand.
“Incoming.” A second later it slammed into the rear window and bounced off the bullet-resistant glass. The passengers in the back jumped and got quiet all of a sudden. Gavin kept his eyes on the crowd, watching for any sign of a serious weapon.
Unfazed, Cassie maintained their speed, slowing only at the last moment before making the turn into the hotel parking lot where police armed with rifles were stationed on either side of the entrance. A rock smacked into the back quarter panel a moment before they reached the entrance ramp to the underground parking garage.
Inside it, more police were stationed at regular intervals on each level, guarding the entrances to the stairwells and elevators. Others patrolled with bomb-sniffing dogs. All the VIPs were staying here. That made logistics easier, but also made the entire hotel a target as well as the conference center.
Cassie pulled up close to the elevator bank where Donovan, another Crimson Point Security agent, was waiting for them. The instant the vehicle stopped, Gavin stepped out and opened the right rear passenger door, scanning for threats while he escorted his charges into the open elevator.
“All clear,” Donovan said to him and got in the elevator with them.
The ride up to their destination floor was quiet. They escorted the men to their suites, sweeping each to ensure they were safe before letting them in.
“All this for some meetings,” the older Canadian said with a rueful smile. “We live in crazy times.”
Gavin kept his opinions about that to himself. Whatever views he held about this summit or the people involved didn’t matter. This was his first big gig since joining the firm. Personal feelings aside, he had been tasked with protecting this man for the weekend, with his life if necessary. That was the job.
“Unless you make changes to your itinerary, I’ll be back to escort you downstairs at oh-seven-hundred,” he said, all business. “Message or call if you need me before then.”
The man nodded. “Good night.”
“Good night, sir.”
Out in the hall, he met up with Donovan. “You done for now?”
“Heading over to meet Callum and Ryder at the conference center. We’ll send updates as we get them.”
“Copy that. See you later.” While technically still on the clock, his official duties had been fulfilled for the time being, so Gavin went to his own room one floor down. The shower was running when he walked in, and Tristan’s stuff was already on the bed nearest the door.
Gavin toed off his shoes, removed his weapon and holster, and set them on the desk, then sighed in relief when he took off the sweltering combo of jacket and Kevlar vest and tossed them aside on a chair. It was surprisingly hot and muggy for the Pacific Northwest, the forecast calling for above normal summer temperatures throughout the weekend. Unfortunate, since bad weather would have been a natural deterrent and crowd control.
Crossing to the large window that overlooked the conference center plaza and most of the downtown core, he checked his personal phone for messages. Nada. Autumn hadn’t responded to his text he’d sent first thing on the way to Portland.
Miss you , he’d told her.
She was busy at her own conference, he knew that. But he also knew she was using it as an excuse not to respond, and it drove him nuts.
Not knowing where they stood or what was going on with her had him on edge. And there was also that bit about her seeing someone from work. That was even worse. Although after last night he felt a lot better about it. If Autumn really was into the guy, she would never have kissed Gavin like that.
Resisting the urge to send another message, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and pulled aside the filmy white curtain to take in the full view. Portland was a scenic city, but right now protesters lined the streets in every direction, the crowds thickest in front of the main entrance of the conference center. Media trucks and their crews were scattered here and there, filming and reporting on the latest as more VIPs began arriving on site.
His gaze moved beyond all that, to the pale gray roof of Autumn’s hotel several blocks away. It made him restless as hell that she was so close and he couldn’t see her. Part of him wanted to show up there and wait for her to have a free minute, just so he could see her, but he was on duty until this summit was over and had to stay close to his VIP.
The bathroom door opened and Tristan walked out in a cloud of steam, toweling off his wet hair. “Hey. Arrival was uneventful?”
“Couple of dents in the SUV, but nothing major.” He nodded at the growing crowd below in the plaza. “What’s the expected number now?”
“Forecasts are for double this by morning. Maybe triple or higher by the afternoon. Walker and Callum said there’s been some new intel about a big anarchist group recruiting from around the northwest. They’re apparently busing people in now.”
“Oh, awesome,” he muttered, and looked back out the window. Mentally calculated what that size crowd would look like and how far it would spread around the hotel and conference center.
Unease trickled down his spine. That number of people could put Autumn’s hotel in play if things got ugly. And Carly was there with her. “Triple or higher, huh?”
“Yeah.” Tris pulled jeans and a T-shirt from his bag and tugged them on. “Maybe we should have Marley and Warwick come pick up Carly and take her back to Crimson Point,” he said, saying what Gavin was already thinking. It was a twin thing, happened a lot with them.
“I’ll message Autumn.” Stating their concerns in a text would scare her, so he sent her a quick text asking her to call when she got a minute, adding that it was important. If she didn’t answer him soon, he’d get Tris to try instead.
Tristan tugged his shirt over his head, then yanked back the covers on his bed and sat on the edge of it, watching him.
“What?” Gavin finally said.
“What’s going on with you guys?”
“What do you mean?”
Tristan gave him an irritated look. “Please. I’m your fucking twin.”
“I’m aware.”
“So cut the bullshit. We both know I interrupted something when I walked in last night, and you’ve both been off since she got here. I stayed out of it, didn’t say anything, but now I wanna know. What’s going on?”
His immediate reaction was to deny it, but that was pointless. Tristan was literally his other half, knew him better than anyone, except maybe Autumn. But he wasn’t ready to spill what had happened between him and Autumn on prom night. “The truth?”
“That’d be appreciated, yeah.”
He lifted a shoulder. Said the only thing he could. “I love her.”
Tristan started to laugh as though he thought that was hilarious, then sobered when he saw Gavin wasn’t joking and shut his mouth, staring at him. “What?” he finally asked in confusion. “Like, love love?”
Gavin sighed. “What else you want me to say?”
A spark of annoyance lit his twin’s eyes. “How about why the fuck I’m only finding out about this now?”
“I didn’t realize it until recently.”
“Since when?”
“Since we saw her back home last time.”
Tristan shook his head, staring at him like he’d lost his mind. Or maybe more like he was disappointed. “Bro, what the hell are you thinking ?”
Gavin blinked at his twin’s heated tone. “About what?”
“You suddenly decided you’re in love with her after all these years?” Tristan shook his head, his expression full of concern. “Have you even thought about the risks? Like what happens if you cross the line and then it doesn’t work out after? You’ve been friends your entire lives. Are you seriously going to risk fucking that up forever?”
“Okay, calm down for Christ’s—”
“I am calm. Of the two of us, I’m always fucking calm. And did you ever stop to consider it’s not just you who stands to come out on the losing end if things go south between you? The rest of us love her too. And she’s a single mom. Have you thought about Carly? About what it would do to her if you guys hooked up and then it ended?”
“I don’t wanna fucking hook up with her,” he snapped, his temper surging. Tristan’s reaction pissed him off—and fucking hurt, if he was being brutally honest. Everyone, even his own damned twin, still thought he was too emotionally immature to make a real relationship work.
What did it say about him that his own twin couldn’t see how much he’d changed? Grown as a person. Matured. Fuck.
“You better not,” Tris warned, and while Gavin got and appreciated his twin’s protectiveness towards her, it still cut deep. Did Tris seriously think he would ever do something to hurt Autumn? He would fucking die for her.
“I said I love her, dipshit. You think I’m just looking to bang the woman who’s meant more to me my entire life than anyone besides you, Marley, and Deck? I’m sick to death of everyone underestimating me.” He wanted finally to be taken seriously. By Autumn, by Tris, his other siblings, and everyone else for that fucking matter.
“Have you told her all that?” Tris asked quietly.
“More or less.”
“So, no.”
“She knows.” Deep down, she had to. Just like she had to know he would never risk their relationship unless he was deadly serious about her.
Even still, the thought of saying those three little words to her out loud lit up a deep, raw wound inside him that he didn’t even want to acknowledge. But the vulnerability was there regardless, squirming around in his gut with cold fingers.
Being rejected by Autumn after holding out his heart to her would level him in a way he would never recover from. That’s how much she meant to him.
Tristan watched him for a long moment, weighing everything he’d said, and all the annoyance faded from his eyes. “Does she love you back?” he finally asked.
Fuck. “I don’t know.” He was pretty sure she had feelings for him beyond friendship, and last night had proven that she wanted him. But that wasn’t the same thing as being in love with him, was it? And her wanting him wasn’t enough for him anyway.
So far, being in love pretty much sucked. He’d always heard how much it could hurt. This constant ache under his sternum was proof it was true. The uncertainty between him and Autumn was eating him alive.
“So what are you going to do?” Tris asked.
“Whatever I have to do to convince her to give us a shot.” It was the only choice he had, same as he’d had to fight for everything else in his life anyway. Although nothing had ever mattered to him the way Autumn did.
Tristan nodded slowly, still watching him intently. But there was clear respect in his eyes now. “So you’re all in?”
“Yes.” He was willing to do whatever it took to make her his, including offering her his heart on a platter no matter how much it scared the shit out of him.
He couldn’t force her to let him in. Couldn’t make her take the leap he was asking her to. He needed her to do this willingly and because she loved him back. Nothing less would do.
“Good. Otherwise I’d be forced to break every bone in your face, and that’d be a damned shame since it’s so good-looking.” He patted his own cheek, eyes glinting with humor.
Gavin huffed out a reluctant laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing. It was a relief that Tris knew his intentions and backed him. He wanted his twin’s blessing and support. Marley would approve once she knew how serious he was. And Deck...would come around in his own time like always.
No matter what, no matter what shit life threw at them, the four of them always had each other’s backs. But if they didn’t approve about him and Autumn, then he’d deal with it. It was his life, his heart he was risking.
“Not a word to the others about this, yeah?”
Tristan gave an insulted snort. “Seriously?”
He shrugged. “Since we’re both being brutally honest with each other today, I just thought I’d make that clear.”
“Yeah, okay.” Tris grabbed his phone from the nightstand and stretched out on his back. “Wanna order room service? Company tab.”
The last bit of tension eased from his shoulders. He and Tris were all good again. Now he needed to fix things with Autumn. “Yeah, I’m starving.”
After placing the order he went back to the window, zeroing in on Autumn’s hotel in the distance. She was so close yet so far away and not just physically. Nothing had been resolved between them, and the worst part was, he didn’t know what it was going to take to convince her to give them a chance.