Chapter 19
Gunner
Everything feels right having her back here. She’s settling back in over the last few weeks. She has nightmares, though. Thoughts of him coming back for her. She knows I wouldn’t let him near her. I would kill everyone in my path to keep her safe. But I know the fear is real to her. I know she worries, and I do everything I can to help ease that worry.
“We have no new leads on Clark. He hasn’t been back home,” Locke tells me. I nod my head. I didn’t figure he’d be that stupid. Not when Nat can tell us where he lives, and we’ve checked there multiple times.
“He’ll show up. He wasn’t done with her,” I say as I sit back and bring my beer to my lips.
“You think he’s that stupid?” Hodge asks.
“Yeah, I think he is. I think he thinks she really belongs to him, and he’ll do anything in his power to get her back.”
“Even come after us?”
“Even that,” I answer as I take a long pull. We don’t have much to go on. Nat has told me all she can, and I still have nothing. I hate feeling like this. I’m not feeling helpless because I’m far from that. Maybe it’s just the unknown. He’s out there somewhere and I’ll bring hell on this city to find him.
“I want someone on twenty-four-hour watch out front. They can work in shifts,” I tell the guys.
“Sounds like a good idea,” Remy adds.
“Yeah, I like that idea, too.” Locke inserts his agreement. I am glad they all agree with me. I end our meeting and stand from my chair before heading back out into the main room where everyone else is. Kiki and a few of the girls are sitting with Nat as they look at baby clothes. Nat was impressed when I showed her what I got, but she also laughed when it was all boy stuff.
“She looks happy,” Rick says as he comes to stand next to me.
“I sure as hell hope she is.”
“You really care about her, don’t you?” I look over at him and nod my head.
“In many ways, it’s wrong. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. I feel what I feel.”
“It’s not wrong, Gunner. You can’t control your heart. You’re not supposed to. Just know that you got a good girl right there. Nat has lived a hard life, but I think she is falling into place here.”
“I think so too. Thanks, Rick.”
“I should be thanking you for everything you’ve done for us.”
“No need. I wanted to do it.” He smiles and nods his head when I hear Nat laugh. I pull my attention back to her and smile. I do have something good right there. Something I never thought I’d have again in my life.
I walk over and sit down next to her, grabbing her hand in mine.
“You’re laughin’ a lot,” I tell her.
“I didn’t know Kiki was this funny.”
“Oh, get used to it. I’m fucking hilarious.”
“Kiki is somethin’ else,” I add.
“Is everything okay?” Nat asks me. The girls take that as their cue to leave and walk away.
“Everything is good. Just talkin’ with the guys. We don’t have any new leads on Clark.”
“I don’t know what to say about that.”
“There’s nothin’ to say. I’m gonna find him one way or another.”
“Are you ready for this baby?” she asks, changing the subject. I reach over and rest my hand on her stomach as I smile.
“Yeah, I’m ready. I can’t wait to see what he looks like,” I tell her.
“Me too. I wasn’t sure I could handle this, but the more he grows inside me, the more excited I get.”
“He? You said he.”
“You’re rubbing off on me. I’m starting to think it’s a boy, too,” she laughs. I can’t stop myself. I lean in, grab her face with my free hand, and pull her toward me. I kiss her and kiss her hard. I can’t get enough of her. I can’t stop touching her. It’s like I need to feel her to know she’s real.
“What was that for?”
“For everything, Nat. You’re givin’ me everything.”
“What do you mean?”
“A second chance at life. A second chance to love.”
“You love me?”
“There’s this feelin’ in the pit of my stomach I can’t deny. When you were gone, I lost it. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. If I didn’t find you, I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep goin’, Nat. I knew I had to find you because I needed you. So yeah, Nat. I love you.”
“Oh my god,” she whispers. I can’t say anything else. I just stare into her eyes. “Gunner, I …”
“I don’t need to hear it back, Nat. That’s not why I said it. We all fall in love at different times. You’re not there yet and that’s fine. I just need you to know that I’m not fuckin’ around here.”
“But I think I do love you too, Gunner. It’s just harder for me to say it, but I feel it. It doesn’t make sense. We haven’t known each other that long.”
“Our hearts know, Nat. Doesn’t matter how long it’s been. We know.” A tear spills down her cheek as she smiles at me. It’s perfect. It’s everything I could want and more. I wasn’t sure I was ready to love again. I knew I could take care of her and protect her but love her? I didn’t see that coming. But I know what I feel. I know what this is. And I love this girl. No matter how long I’ve known her. I love her.
“Are we stuck in the clubhouse?”
“Not really. Why?”
“I need to get something.”
“I can get you whatever you need,” I tell her. She smiles at me, and it melts my heart a little more.
“I think I need a break, Gunner.”
“Okay. We can do that.”
“Really?”
“Told you I’d do anything for you, Natasa. Anything.”
“Even uncomfortable things?” Now she has my interests. What does she think is uncomfortable for me?
“What do you mean by that?”
“I was talking with the other girls about when the baby is born. They said I’d need things. Like pads and breast pads in case they leak.”
“And you think I’d be embarrassed to buy them?”
“I don’t know. Some men don’t like touching that stuff,” she smiles at me.
“I’m not some men, Nat. You think walkin’ around with a box of feminine products is gonna bother me?” She shrugs her shoulders before I stand and pull her to her feet. She gazes up at me as I look down at her.
“Baby girl, I’ve had your pussy in my mouth. You’ve come all over my cock, and you think I’d be embarrassed to buy what you need? You’re dead wrong.” Nat smiles, and it melts my goddamn heart. How can something so perfect be mine? How did I get so lucky?