Chapter 23
Gunner
Postpartum depression. That’s what she’s been diagnosed with. The doctor gave her medicine that should help within the next couple of weeks, but there’s still that time in between. She isn’t herself, and I hate that for her.
“Where is Nat?” I ask as I walk into the main room after putting Jesse to bed.
“I haven’t seen her,” Remy replies as he glances around the same way I am.
“Hey, Kiki. You seen Nat?” I ask.
“No, I thought she was in bed.”
“She’s not. I just put Jesse to bed,” I tell her. Now, my heart kicks up a notch. Clark is still out there. He still hasn’t been found.
“I’ll look around,” Kiki says before grabbing a few of the girls and taking off. I watch them walk through the main room and then break off in different directions as I run my hand through my hair.
“Did you ask Rick?” Locke asks. I shake my head. I haven’t seen him either tonight.
“No. Don’t know where he is either,” I tell him. Locke pulls his cell out and calls Rick. “He’s outside. He’s comin’.” I nod my head and watch as the back door opens and Rick walks in, but Nat isn’t with him.
“Where’s Natasa?”
“She isn’t here?” Rick asks. That’s it. That’s all I need to hear. I roar before shoving all the bottles off the bar and listening to them crash to the floor.
“I want everyone out lookin’ for her!”
“We don’t know she’s gone, Gunner.”
“She isn’t here, is she? No, the fuck she isn’t. Now find her!” The guys move quickly, knowing that this pisses me off. Where would she go? Why would she go? She knows what happened last time she snuck out on her own.
“I’ll watch Jesse,” Kiki offers as she walks back into the room. I nod and pull her into my arms for a quick hug before storming out the door. I’m on my bike in seconds, revving it up and taking off. I don’t care if anyone is following me or not. I don’t give a shit about anything right now but finding her.
I drive around everywhere I can think of before heading to her and Rick’s spot. The same fucking spot she was taken last time. That’s where I kill the engine and climb off my bike, walking down the back alley. My eyes catch on her curled into a ball lying on her blanket.
“What the fuck were you thinkin’?” I scream. She doesn’t move, but I know she hears me. She shifts slightly sniffles, and that’s all I get from her. I stomp closer and kneel next to her, brushing her hair away from her face. That’s when those swollen red eyes look up at me.
“What are you doin’, baby girl? What the hell is this?”
“I can’t function, Gunner. I’m not cut out for this shit. I can’t be Jesse’s mom. I can’t be what you need,” she cries harder. I sigh and pull my gloves off before moving behind her and lying down with her. I pull her into my arms and hold her while she cries.
“I want to be mad at you for runnin’ off, but I get it, Nat. This is hard for you, but the medicine will help. It just takes time,” I whisper in her ear.
“What do I do till then? Huh? Just stay away from you and him? Do you know how hard that is for me, too? I know I’m doing everything wrong, and I can’t stop it, Gunner. I just can’t.” More tears break my heart even more. I hate this. I hate that she feels like this is her only option.
“You’re not alone, baby girl. I’m here. I’m not goin’ anywhere. I told you that. Whatever you need, I got you.”
“I don’t know what I need. I don’t know what to do.”
“Come home, Natasa. Come home with me.”
“It’s not that easy, and you know it, Gunner.”
“And this is? Bein’ homeless again? Livin’ on the streets? No, Nat. That’s not you, not anymore. You have a place, a home. And that’s fuckin’ with me and Jesse and everyone else at the goddamn clubhouse. I get it. You’re goin’ through somethin’ I can’t relate to, but this is gonna stop.” I shove myself up off the ground and stand, holding out my hand to her. She can take it and come with me, or I can snatch her off the ground and force her. Either way, I’m not leaving her alone here. No way in hell.
“I’m not going. I need to be alone.”
“You’re not goin’? This isn’t a choice I’m givin’ you, Natasa. You’re comin’ home whether I have to carry your ass there and tie you to the goddamn bed. You’re not doin’ this to me, to our son, to yourself. This is it. I’m done playin’ nice,” I tell her right before something slams into the back of my head. The world spins, Nat screams, and I fall to the ground.
“No! Gunner!” She cries. I press my hands to the hard concrete and shove myself up, shaking my head as I go. Then I turn around and see him through the haze.
“I always knew she’d come back here. She can’t help it, can she?”
“I’ll kill you.”
“You and who else?” he asks as two other men step out of the shadows. I’m outnumbered. I’m fucking outnumbered, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up that easily.
“Nat, get behind me, baby girl,” I tell her. She scrambles off the ground and clings to the back of my shirt as I watch the three of them in front of me. Clark smirks but doesn’t say a word when he motions for the others to move.
They come at me, and I shove Nat back against the building. She just had a baby two weeks ago. I can’t tell her to run, although that’s what I need her to do.
The first man swings, and I dodge it, but the second one lands. My head whips to the side before I swing back. We get into an all-out brawl when I finally hear one of the guys.
“Well, isn’t this interestin’.” Fucking Locke. Thank fuck he found us. Everyone stops and looks toward him, where he stands with a gun pressed against Clark’s head. I smirk as I kick the other asshole in the ribs who’s on the ground.
“Took you long enough,” I tell him. He shrugs and smiles at me as Remy and Hodge both step up next to him.
“Looks like you had it handled,” Hodge adds with a laugh.
“Somethin’ like that. Get these fuckers back to the clubhouse,” I tell them, nodding toward the other two. A few more of our guys show up to help gag and load them into the van. I turn and find Nat still sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees. I walk over to her and pull her off the ground and into my arms.
“Never leavin’ me, baby girl. This thing? This is forever.” More tears fill her eyes as she looks up at me but doesn’t say anything. I lean down and press my lips to her forehead before leading her to the bike.
“You wanna ride or go in the van?”
“I don’t want to be near him,” she whimpers.
“You just had a baby, Nat.”
“I’ll be fine. I don’t want to be in the van with him.”