4. Brooke
4
brOOKE
“Have us arrested for kidnapping?” Lucas splutters. “Crazy lady say what?”
I leap in to defend my heroine. “She’s not crazy; she’s Serena Lovelace!”
Lucas’s brow furrows. “As in... the person who wrote the blank book?”
“What do you mean, I wrote a blank book?” Serena looks at him in confusion.
“I’ve got this book of yours, except something about it is weird. Everything but the first two chapters are blank. Also, I know this sounds crazy, but the book vibrated after we left the restaurant.” I hold out my book to her. She takes it and looks at the cover, then opens it, flipping through the pages.
Then she looks up at me. “Where did you get this? I haven’t even finished writing this yet. I’ve just written the outline.”
She flips through to the very end, shaking her head.
“What makes you think that we’ve kidnapped you?” Lucas demands. “You’re the one who approached us. And you haven’t been kidnapped. We’re standing out here in public, with people walking past us and cars driving by. You’re not tied to a chair in my basement.”
Serena takes a step back.
I give Lucas a narrow side-eye. “That was a little creepy.”
“What’s creepy is a complete stranger just accused us of committing a felony.” He glowers at her. “What’s your problem, Mrs. Lovelace?”
“Miss,” she corrects him. “And, the thing is... You two... I just have the strongest feeling that you’re the reason that I’m here.”
“When you say ‘here,’ you know we’re in your fictional town, by the way,” I add.
She nods in bewilderment. “I know. That’s why I freaked out when I saw the newspaper. This town only exists in my novels. I mean, it’s based on the town I grew up in, and it sort of looks like it, which is completely freaking me out, but it’s not my hometown. One minute I’m taking a nap in my house; the next minute someone’s shaking me awake on a park bench. And... here we all are.” She shakes her head. “At first I thought maybe I died, but this didn’t really feel anything like heaven. I mean, I woke up with a leg cramp and a wedgie. Sorry. TMI.”
I bob my head vigorously in agreement. “Lucas and I had the same conversation. It’s not horrible enough for hell, not perfect enough for heaven. It’s a very nice downtown, but I can smell car exhaust and feel physical discomfort, which doesn’t sound like heaven.” I give Lucas a skeptical look. “And he was annoyed by the name of the I Scream Shoppe, and if we can feel annoyance, that doesn’t sound like heaven either. For the record, I think it was adorable.”
“Thank you. My readers love my punny business names.” Serena shoots Lucas a mildly wounded look. “But anyway, look at this.”
She holds her notebook up for us to look at, and I realize it’s actually a sketchbook. She starts flipping through it .
She’s as talented a sketch artist as she is a writer. All of her sketches have a charming, whimsical look that makes me smile just to look at them. As an artist, I love checking out other artists with a distinctive style.
There are page after page of pictures of young men and young women. I recognize scenes from some of her books. In one of them, a woman has hit a man in the face with a pie. In another, there’s a man sleeping on a couch, looking comically uncomfortable and annoyed.
And then she gets to a page with pictures of two people who are shockingly familiar. Lucas and me. We’re sitting side by side in a diner in one sketch, and passionately kissing each other in another sketch.
Sketch-Lucas’s hands are tangled in Sketch-Brooke’s hair. My head is tipped back. We’re crushed up against each other.
Oh my. I’m tingling in my nether regions. Okay, I must admit that I’ve had a few inappropriate fantasies about my boss, who may be evil but looks damn good, smells amazing, and would be attractive if he wasn’t such a crabby impatient jerk.
Seeing it sketched out like that, though... that’s mortifying and arousing all at the same time.
“Wait a minute. You’ve been stalking us?” Lucas demands. “And you have the nerve to stand there accusing us of kidnapping you ? And why do you have a picture of me kissing Brooke?”
“Yeah, eww,” I hasten to add.
“I have not been stalking you. Those pictures came from my imagination. I’ve never seen either of you before today, and frankly I’d be happy never to see you again.” She glares at Lucas.
“Right back at you,” he scoffs.
“I drew those pictures because you’re the characters in my next book.” She looks at us in bewilderment. “Susie and Jasper.”
“Brooke and Lucas,” I correct her. “But several people today called me Susie.”
A car drives by and swerves on purpose, splashing all three of us with muddy water from a large puddle.
“Bastard! I’ll see you in hell before you ruin my dad’s shop!” the driver shouts.
“Hey!” Lucas shouts angrily. The driver flips him off and screeches away down the street. Lucas shakes his head in exasperation. “Maybe this is purgatory. This is crazy. I’ve never been anywhere where so many people hate me.”
“Not before they get to know you, at least,” I murmur.
“What?” he says.
“What?” I echo, wide-eyed and innocent.
Then I look at Serena. She’s staring at us. “Why are you looking at us like that?” I ask.
“That’s exactly the kind of sassy banter I’d write for the couples in my romance novels.”
“We are not a couple!” Lucas splutters.
“Yet,” Serena murmurs.
“You do not have to sound quite so horrified,” I say to Lucas in a huffy tone, taking a step back away from him.
“Well? Are we a couple?” He scoffs.
Not with that attitude, we’re not. “They’ll be strapping on ice skates in hell first.”
“Exactly.” He folds his arms across his broad chest.
“So, I’m sort of formulating an idea,” Serena continues. “There’s a possibility that I’ve gone crazy and I’m hallucinating all of this, but it feels too real. It seems like what’s actually happening is that we are inside my next book. This is following the general plot line that I’d come up with, I just haven’t written the outline yet. I... sketched you two, just like I do with all of my characters. That’s how I recognized you in the coffee shop. ”
“What happens in the book?” I ask. “Why does everyone hate Lucas?”
“Because here, in this world, he’s Jasper Whitfield, the big-city real estate broker who’s bought up the debt-stricken downtown and who’s planning on bulldozing over it and putting up some fancy condos.” She gives an impatient sigh, as if that should be obvious.
“Why would I do an a-hole thing like that?” Lucas demands.
“You mean your backstory?” Serena takes a deep breath and launches into a monologue. “You grew up here and your father was an abusive drunk, and you thought that Susan had rejected you in high school, but it was all a misunderstanding. You left town, and made it big, but came back because you felt like you had something to prove. You’re going to destroy and rebuild the entire downtown. You told yourself that it was because it was a good commercial opportunity, but by the end of the book you realize that you still have unresolved—”
“I hate my backstory.” Lucas interrupts, glaring at her. “Nobody would want to read something like that.”
“Well, five million books sold beg to disagree with you.” She sniffs indignantly. “You were very thoroughly fleshed out.”
“Okay, if I grew up here, why didn’t most of the people recognize me at first, in the diner?” Lucas asks. “Why did they have to see a newspaper picture to figure out who I was?”
Serena shrugs, waving a hand in dismissal. “You left when you were sixteen. You don’t look anything like you did as a teenager. Since then, you’ve grown up, filled out, and become extremely handsome.”
“Extremely handsome,” he repeats, with a smug look. “And I’m a romance novel hero.” He glances at me. “Ice skates in hell, huh?”
Oh, wound his tender ego, did I? Well, he started it. “Yes, and pigs will be flapping their little wings overhead.” I narrow my eyes at him.
“And, in my story, Susie desperately needs money to save her late parents’ theater, so she agrees to work for you as your assistant while you’re here. She’s hoping she can somehow convince you not to trash the downtown.”
Lucas turns his attention back to Serena. “So you somehow magicked us into this weird universe? How do we get out?” Lucas demands.
“I did not magic you into anything. And I don’t want to be here any more than you do. I have a book signing tonight, for heaven’s sake! I’ve never missed a book signing, and my publisher’s going to have a hissy fit. He’s a total tyrant.” She shakes her head, frowning, as her gaze roves up and down the street. “I can’t believe we’re here.”
“Well, what are we going to do about it?” Lucas says in exasperation.
“I don’t know yet. You think I want to be trapped here with one of my romance hero characters?” She shudders dramatically.
“Well, why not, for argument’s sake?” He quirks an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t you want to be stuck with a romance novel hero? I thought that’s what all women want.”
“Like you know what women want,” I think, or possibly I say it in my out-loud voice, because he gives me an irritable look.
Serena looks him square in the eye. “Because we are clearly at the beginning of the book, and at the beginning of my books, the heroes are always self-centered, insufferable asses.”
I can’t help it. I burst out laughing. I laugh so hard tears run down my cheeks. Lucas stands there looking angrier and angrier, and finally he snaps, “You know what? You two find your way home on your own!” He pulls out his wallet and shoves a handful of bills into my jacket pocket. “I’d better see you at the office at nine a.m. Monday, or I’ll dock your pay.”
He turns and stalks off.
Serena shakes her head, making a tsking sound as he goes. “See? Insufferable ass.”
“You forgot self-centered,” I murmur.
We stand there watching him walk away. One block, two blocks... Should I run after him?
“What should we do now?” I ask her. “I mean, it’s your world. How do we get out of it?”
We watch as Lucas walks up the steps of a white building. “That’s the chamber of commerce. I know every building in this downtown,” Serena says. “I think we have to go after him. He’s part of this somehow too. The two of you are the key to everything; I just haven’t quite figured it out yet.”
“Fine,” I sigh, and we walk up the street. We arrive just in time to see Lucas stomping out of the building with a look of annoyance on his face.
“They kicked me out,” he says, scowling. “I’ve got a good mind to call my lawyer.”
“Why did they kick you out?”
“Because I’m the son of Herman Whitfield, come home to destroy their precious downtown.” He rolls his eyes.
“What were you in there for in the first place?” I ask.
“I wanted to get the address of the nearest car rental business. And yes, I was going to come pick you up before I left.” He looks at Serena. “You, I’m not so sure about.”
“Like I’d get in a car with you, Mr. Tie-Me-Up-In-A-Basement,” she scoffs.
“Hey!” he glares at her. “I only said that because— You know what? Never mind.”
“Let us give it a try with the chamber of commerce,” I say. “Since you’re apparently persona non grata in this town.”
Serena and I head into the building where a round-faced man with glasses introduces himself as Jerome Vickers, president of the chamber of commerce.
“I remember you. You’re Susie McGillicuddy, aren’t you?” he asks me.
“Sure, why not?” I sigh.
He gives me a puzzled look. “Well. Welcome back to town. I hear you’re keeping some interesting company.” He frowns out the window, where Lucas is impatiently pacing the sidewalk.
“We’re looking for a car rental,” I say. “Do they have an Enterprise or something like that here?”
He smiles and informs us there is no car rental service in Green Acres. Not only that—the nearest town is twenty miles away.
“But here!” he says, thrusting a pamphlet into each of our hands. “No need to leave town! We’ve got a bunch of summer events coming up. Look, we’ve got the cookie-baking festival. That's a fundraiser for the animal shelter—it needs a new roof. We’ve got movie nights under the stars, we’ve got a play coming up at the McGillicuddy Theater... Of course, this could be the last year ever if that jerk Jasper Whitfield gets his way. Those Whitfields never were any good.”
“Maybe nobody ever gave Jasper a shot because of his dad, when they should have judged him on his own merits?” I suggest.
He rolls his eyes at me. “Jasper came back here to exact his revenge and destroy our downtown, so I’d say his merits, or lack thereof, speak for themselves.”
Serena and I tuck our pamphlets into our jackets and then walk out and deliver the bad news to Lucas.
He throws his hands in the air in exasperation. “How could this be? How could a town like this exist?”
“Because magic? I feel like this town isn’t ready for us to leave yet,” I say to Lucas .
He gives me a look of annoyance. “What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know.”
Lucas shoots a defiant glare at the chamber of commerce. “Look, I’ll walk to New York if I have to. I’m not staying here in Mayberry RFD.”
I glance at his feet. “I don’t think those Italian loafers will make it. Listen, we’ll figure something out in the morning.” I glance at the horizon, and then back at Lucas and Serena. The sun will be setting soon. What are we going to do for the night?
“I have an idea,” Serena says. “I’m assuming that this town has all the businesses that I created for my fictional Green Acres. The hotel at the end of the street is only a five-minute walk from here. I based it on a hotel owned by my adoptive parents. We can spend the night there and have them find us transportation in the morning.”
I don’t love it, but I can’t think of anything to do, so we dutifully trudge up the street after her.