20. Hotaru
“I can get my actuary on it after the New Year. I should have it to you by the tenth. The fifteenth at the latest.” The commander for the naval base is optimistic at best and incompetent at worst.
I know the answer.
The last military contract I took returned their actuarial report to me nine months after I’d already submitted my report.
Good thing numbers make sense to me.
People, I can usually sort out pretty easily too.
Emotions? They are much harder to nail down.
“I already have what I need.” I click on the report I started two days ago after Hailey and Arlo left my condo. The food they’d brought had run out along with their clothes.
They’d tried to talk me into going back to their house, but I’d needed time and space and to drown out the memories in mind-numbing numbers.
I finished it late last night and submitted it to Admiral Buchanan early this morning.
“How is that possible?” the captain sputters. “You received the accounting information two days ago and don’t yet have the actuary’s report. You can’t possibly begin to piece together this madness. We’re talking about a decade of financial reports from one of the largest naval bases in the United States.” He takes a breath. “Besides, it’s the holidays. Nothing gets done over the holidays.”
The edge of panic in his voice sends a zing through my veins. I could tell him that he’ll know what the inside of a military prison cell smells like by the end of the day. His anxiety is too much fun to spoil the surprise.
“You know Admiral Buchanan, yes?” I smile.
“Yes, of course,” he huffs.
“You respect his opinion?”
“Of course,” he grouses. “What are you getting at?”
“He hired me to complete this job. That’s what I’ve done.”
“You were supposed to go through me,” the captain heading to jail within the hour yells.
“I’m not good at taking orders.” I end the call, toss the cell onto my desk behind me, and continue watching the snow fall outside. The phone jitters and whines and dances on my desk for the next several minutes. Each time, my smile grows.
“Shouldn’t have allocated tax dollars to your shell companies, asshole.”
I scoop up the phone to tell him as much. It’s a distraction. One I need. One not to be. The name on the phone is the one I need distraction from. I drop the phone as though it burned me.
“Fucking Arlo.” I sit back in my chair and try to ignore the searing in my gut.
I love you, Hotaru .
The first and last time he told me he loved me, he walked out of my life for years. I’d like to think this time is different, but this time is perhaps more volatile than the last. If I lose him, there will be nothing left of me. I won’t recover.
I love you, Hailey.
The words ring in my ears.
He loves her enough to make a life with her. I’m the sideshow.
A knock reverberates through my corner office, pinging off the glass walls. It’s that odd time between Christmas and New Year’s when only a few people flit about the entire forty stories of the building. I didn’t bother closing my door.
I turn and find the young guy from the main reception desk cowering in the doorway. “Yes?”
“So sorry to bother you, sir.” He has a proper British accent. “I have a message from Mr. Judge.”
For the life of me, I have no idea why this guy is shaking in his boots. Like I told Arlo, I’m not a monster. I even greet most people I cross in the hallways. Well, nod more than greet, but it’s not like I step on this guy’s toes every chance I get. “And that message is?”
He winces, and it’s comical. “Answer your fucking phone, or I’m going to stop paying for it.” The guy practically hides himself behind the wall. “And get to his office right away, or else…”
I bite back my smile. “Or else?”
He goes red in the face. The part I can see, at least. “He’ll hunt you down, turn you over his knee, and spank you like the bad boy you are.”
My laugh erupts so forcefully my abs shake.
The guy’s mouth goes as wide as his saucer eyes.
“Thanks.” I wave him away. He runs like he heard his mom call his name.
Sure enough, there are several missed calls from Arlo, not just the one I declined. Reluctantly, if not a little more levelheaded, I leave my office and head down the hall to the opposite side of the building, to an office that mirrors my own.
Mio’s desk is empty, along with every other desk I see on my way.
I slip inside without knocking and close the door behind me. “You could just fire me. My contract work is way more fun than your books. Your records are so meticulously kept, they’re boring. I never get to send anyone to jail.”
“I hope it stays that way.” He turns away from the window and faces me. “Have a seat.” He points at the chair I helped myself to a few days ago.
“I feel like I’m in the headmaster’s office.”
He pulls on his super dorky headset and dials a number.
“Never mind. Headmasters don’t wear headsets.” I sit and kick back in the chair, loving the grimace he shoots me.
“Hello my siren, I’m sorry to interrupt you at work, but I need your help with something.” His gaze narrows on me. “Yes, it will only take three minutes tops. I need to teach Hotaru here a lesson.”
My brows hike.
“He needs to learn just how practical my headset is.” He stands and rounds his desk. The noticeable bulge in his pants grows bigger by the minute.
I gnaw the inside of my cheek and force my eyes back to his.
When Hailey and Arlo left, we made no parameters for this cluster we find ourselves tangled in. While my body keys into the flirtation Arlo offers, my mind won’t allow me to go there…because parameters. Boundaries are the only thing holding me together.
“Would you like to listen?” he asks Hailey. The corners of his mouth kick up. “Perfect.”
The tip of Arlo’s fingers might as well be a naval ship’s cannon for the level of my attention it snags. I’m one hundred percent missile locked on him.
“On your knees.” The authority in his voice is a whip.
I slip out of the chair and onto my knees. He towers over me, looking perfectly groomed for business in his tailor-made three-piece suit and handcrafted wingtips.
Just like that, I’m hard as stone. To hell with my worries.
“Good boy.” He flicks his cuffs, adjusts his tie, and then unfastens his belt.
“Holy fuck,” I squeak with the little breath I still have inside my burning lungs.
“Holy blow job is more like it.” Slowly, he works his zipper down, down, down. I watch his thick fingers move it tooth by tooth, teasing me. “See, if I was holding a phone, I wouldn’t be able to do this.”
Arlo lets his pants hang open around his hips, reaches inside the waistband of his boxer briefs, and gives his dick a long stroke. My mouth waters. I lick my lips. The sound that comes out of me is pitiful.
“Mmm, Hailey likes it when you whimper.” His stance widens. He pushes his underwear down, revealing a girth that sends tingles through my entire body. The smooth length bobs in front of my face. “I’d prefer to hear you choke on it.”
I lurch forward, ready to do just that.
His free hand tangles in my hair and holds me back. “Not yet.”
The side of his dick smacks my cheek. I whine not because Hailey likes it, but because I feel like I’m being burned alive. Anticipation and desire fuel the flames inside me. It hurts so fucking good.
“She has her legs spread and her hand inside her panties, working her clit to the sounds you’re making.”
“Fuck me.” My head swims, picturing her skirt hiked high and her legs draped over the arms of her chair. “Pinch your nipples,” I snarl through the phone.
Arlo hisses. He squeezes the base. It makes the veins bulge and the tip go red.
“Please, Arlo.” My dick pulses in response. My throat works, thinking of him pushing the tight walls wide.
A sting makes my eyes water as Arlo drags my gaze away from his pretty dick and tilts it to his gaze. A storm brews in the deep sea of his eyes. “You call that begging?”
The shudder that runs through me leaks precum from my tip.
“I’ve wanted to wrap my lips around your cock since the day I barged into your room to turn off that godawful noise you call music. And every fucking day since. I’ve dreamed about what you’ll taste like. I’ve imagined the sounds you’ll make. Every fucking dick I’ve sucked has been in an effort to be good for you. For the one day I never really expected to come. Every single time, I’d close my eyes and pretend it was you.”
A half sob, half moan rattles my chest. “Please, put me out of my fucking misery.”
Arlo’s hand slips out of my hair. His thumb caresses a line from my temple to my jaw. His gaze goes impossibly dark. He wraps his other finger around my chin. “Open for me.”
His voice sounds reedier than normal.
I open wide.
The slick tip maps the edge of my lips. He drags himself over my mouth, time and again, as though stitching every moment into his memory. Fuck knows every touch and tangy note sears into mine.
We both whine and pant. My hands fist at my side.
“Yes, Hailey. I will.” His words filter into the phone. Before I can ask what she wants, he slips his dick into my mouth. My lips seal over his girth and form an unforgiving suction. He groans. “That’s it, Hota. Suck me good.”
His musk and salt hit my tongue. Whatever part of the brain that lights up when you eat dessert shoots fucking fireworks through my skull. I moan and bob on his length, reveling in the silk of his skin and the relentless steel underneath. I swallow him down more greedily than I would a vintage bourbon.
“Holy fuck.” His hands lace in my hair. His hips pump, using me. “You look so strong on your knees for me. Your mouth, fuck.”
He pulls out and breathes through his nose. “Don’t move.”
With a quick turn, he whips the headset off his head and hits a button on the phone. Hailey’s high-pitched cries echo in the office.
My hand goes to my dick, rubbing through my slacks. “Fuck yes.”
“Listening to the two of you…” She gasps through the line. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever heard, and you’re just getting started.” Her breath stutters. “I hate to cum and go, but I have a client in ten. I have to wash my hands and grab a new pair of panties.
“Thank you, Hailey,” Arlo purrs.
“Thank you two. Now, enjoy.” The line goes dead.
Arlo ends the call and faces me. His stiff cock points toward the sky.
My heart falters.
Is this my lesson? Don’t get caught up third wheeling for a couple ’cause you’ll leave with your dick ready to explode and your heart in your throat?
“On the sofa, pants around your ankles, now,” Arlo barks.
My mouth gapes.
His teeth snag his lower lip. “That part is over for now,” he says, staring at my mouth. “Unless you’re ready to swallow my load so soon.”
Yes.
No.
Fuck, I’m not ready for this to be over. So, no.
I shove to my feet and stalk to one of the sofas at the other end of his office. My head spins. “What about Hailey?”
“What about her?”
I sit and try to rein in my huffing breaths. “She’s not here or on the phone. Isn’t she going to…” I shove my hands through my tousled hair. “I don’t know, get upset about this?”
“Did she sound upset on the phone?” He walks toward me, pants still around his hips, slowly working his hand up and down his shaft.
“No.”
“What did she say right before she hung up?” One brow hitches.
“Enjoy.” I groan.
“I plan to. Now, cock out before I get it out myself.”
I fumble with my belt like I’ve never used one before. “I don’t know the ground rules for this situation.”
“They’re simple.” He kicks my feet wide and steps between them.
“Simple?” I huff, staring at his dick.
“Yes, Hotaru.” The use of my whole name draws my gaze up to his. Gone is the strain in his jaw. His lids are hooded, and dangerous desire rolls off him in waves. “Whatever we want can go on between any of us at any time. Me and her. Me and you. You and her. All of us together.”
“But she is your?—”
“And you are mine.” He grabs my face and pulls me forward. “Aren’t you?”
I show my teeth. Still, it’s true. There’s no fighting it.
“Say it, while you still can,” he demands, but there’s an edge of pleading in his voice.
“Maybe,” I hedge.
He paints my lips with his precum, making me face the truth. “Tell me.”
“Make me.”
Arlo pries my jaw open and feeds me his dick while mine weeps.
The blunt head hits the back of my throat, and I angle to accommodate him. “Hota,” he whines. His arms shake with restraint.
I grab them and plant them in my hair. My fingers sink into his ass and pull his hips forward. I take him all the way to the base and hold him there. I breathe him in through my nose and swallow, squeezing him with my throat.
His hands clamp down, tugging my scalp.
I groan into his lap and nuzzle my face against his skin. Disbelief makes me dizzy.
Arlo shifts his hips, getting even closer. His groan is desperate, but too soon, he pulls me off. “Not yet.” He pushes me back and to the side so I’m lying on the Italian leather. He hoists my feet onto the other end, then climbs on top of me.
Tears prick my eyes, and I try to breathe through it. But this…This has been my fucking dream for forever. To feel his weight on me. To feel his skin against mine.
Our dicks press together.
“Oh fuck.” He buries his face in my neck and squeezes me so tight.
For so long, he doesn’t move a muscle. Fear creeps in. I know he’s going to jump up any second now, and this will be the end. The end before the beginning.
“Are you okay?” I whisper the words because I’m terrified I already know the answer.
Arlo levers back, bringing our faces so close that I blink at his features. He nods, and a hint of red stains his cheeks.
“What?” I breathe.
“Just trying not to come from contact.” His Adam’s apple bobs.
My entire body relaxes.
“It was really fucking hard.”
The corners of my mouth kick up, and I let my gaze fall to where our hips meet. “I’ll say.”
“I’m still pretty new to all this.” Vulnerability dances in his eyes.
I lift my hands and trail them along the edge of his face. “In so many ways, I am too.”
“I want to fucking kiss you right now.”
I nod but hold his face in place. “I don’t know that either of us are ready for that.”
“I’m ready,” he assures me.
I want to believe him more than anything. The years have been long, and the rejection, though not meant to hurt me, did. It does.
His thumb smooths over my swollen bottom lip. “One day,” he promises.
My nod will have to suffice. If I speak, I’ll sob like a fucking baby.
Arlo rolls his hips, and we both curse. The heft of his dick slides along mine, bumping along my bars one at a time.
He straddles my hips, and his fingers get to work unbuttoning my suit coat and my dress shirt. It’s a unique kind of foreplay, watching his fingers drag along my abdomen and up my chest while our dicks nestle together.
The thought of them nestled together inside Hailey makes mine twitch.
“I’m about to come from minimal contact, if you don’t?—”
He throws my shirt wide and grabs both our dicks in his hand, slicing my words in half. His mouth works, and then a long line of spit drips out from between his lips and onto our cockheads.
“Arlo.” My eyes threaten to roll back in my head, but I’ll be damned if I miss a second of the show. He works our flesh together, spreading his saliva and our precum from base to tip with both fucking hands. Then his hips piston.
“Motherfucker.” Air burns its way out of my lungs. My hips work in opposition to his. The tips of my fingers dig into his thighs. I don’t have time to think about how he’ll receive the touch. I’m too busy gasping and groaning and trying not to come so damn soon.
It’s no use. The pressure builds in my spine and tingle in my balls.
“I’m going to…” Words prelude my ropey strings by a fraction of a second.
“Yes, Hota. Come for me.” His hips buck. “Fuck yes, Hota.”
He shoots right behind me. Our cum tangles in his fingers and flies onto my abdomen. It even paints my chest.
I ride the high as long as I can, and then reality tugs me back toward earth. I brace for his freak-out. For the distance he’ll put between us. For the loss when it hits.
His fingers slowly work the last of our release from our tips.
My breath stills.
Arlo leans forward and smears our cum into my skin, coating damn near every square inch of available flesh. “Maybe if I mark you, you’ll know you’re mine.”
I’ve always been his.
He was mine for a blink of an eye.
I keep my traitorous lips closed. No need to spoil the moment.
The tip of Arlo’s finger traces the line of my mouth. I open to clean it off.
“No, that’s not for you.” He leans closer. His lips drag across mine. My heart somersaults through my chest.
His tongue snakes out and licks me clean. I groan into his mouth.
“You let me know when you’re ready,” he breathes against my lips.