Hard to Pretend (Hard to Love #2)

6. Chris

6

I t had been a week since Luce’s party, meaning it was time to tell everyone that unfortunately, things with Seb didn’t work out. We’d talked about the reason for our breakup at our planning session. We settled on something simple. No complicated stories that painted either of us in a bad light. It just didn’t work out. We had different relationship goals, and we weren’t compatible.

The problem was sending the text. I didn’t want to deal with everyone treating me with kid gloves because a fake relationship ended. I didn’t want to have to explain to them why I wasn’t upset about it either. I was in too deep to ever tell them the truth.

Hopefully, they’d forget about my short lived relationship with Seb, and no one would ever have to know.

I took in a deep breath and forced myself to open the group chat where we’d all been planning Luce’s party. Of course Luce was in it. If she hadn’t been, she would’ve flipped her proverbial lid when we all showed up at her house. Especially if we showed up with food that she hadn’t helped prepare. It was better to let her have input even if we were trying to do something nice for her.

I started to type a message only to delete it. I did it three times before tossing my phone back on the couch. “This is fucking ridiculous,” I muttered to myself. “Man up, Chris.”

I grabbed my phone and started to type again.

Chris

Seb and I broke up.

Short. Succinct. To the point. There was nothing flowery, no stupid explanations. Maybe everyone would just send sad emojis and leave it alone.

My fingers hovered over the send button. Did I really have the mental energy to deal with everyone asking me a thousand questions right now? I could always type it out and send it again tomorrow. That would probably be the smarter idea. Then I could send it before I left for work and ignore everyone’s well wishes until my shift ended.

That was tempting.

“Get over it,” I muttered. I was about the press the button. I really was, but then the phone rang saving me from having to deliver the bad news .

Seb’s name appeared on the screen. I had no idea why he was calling me, but I didn’t mind the distraction. “Hey,” I greeted as I brought the phone up to my ear. I relaxed back on the couch.

“Have you told anyone that we broke up yet?”

That wasn’t the question I was expecting. “I was actually about to send it to the group. Why?”

“My mom found out about us.”

His mom?

“How the hell did your mom find out about us?”

“I have no idea. Do any of your friends work at the hospital?”

“Natalie. Why? What did she do?”

“I’m guessing she told my mom that she met me and that I was dating her friend.” Well, wasn’t it a small fucking world? “It wouldn’t be a big deal. I’d tell her we broke up, same as we planned, but she’s been worried about everything in my life lately. My job, my dating life or lack thereof, all of it. I think she’s afraid I’m going to die sad, alone, and completely unsatisfied.”

I laughed. “How old are you?”

“Not old enough to be worrying that my life is over because I don’t have a serious boyfriend.”

“And that translates to?”

“Twenty-four. Barely twenty-four. My birthday was two months ago.” He sounded frustrated. “My mom never got married. She actually had me when she was my age. Maybe she’s just afraid that my life is going to end up like hers: struggling with a kid or something.”

I nodded, even though I knew that he couldn’t see me. It made sense to me, even though it wasn’t a struggle I could relate to. My parents didn’t get on me about dating. My friends did. My brother did, but my parents left well enough alone. I think they trusted that I’d find someone when it was time. “So why did you want to know if I told anyone that we’d broken up?”

Seb didn’t say anything for a moment. I could practically hear the cogs turning in his head. It took a few minutes before he spoke again. “Can we play pretend one more night? Maybe if my mom saw me with a boyfriend, she’d worry less.”

He wanted me to meet his mom? That seemed a few steps up from playing pretend at a friend’s birthday party. For one thing, she’d probably seen him with other partners in the past. She’d probably see right through us. “Is that a good idea?”

I already knew the answer to this question.

“Probably not.” At least he agreed with me. “But she’s my mom, and I hate when she worries.”

That was actually sweet. He was a mama’s boy? Even though I knew it was a terrible idea, I couldn’t say no. It was obvious that he didn’t want to disappoint his mom. And besides, I kind of owed him. He’d helped me. Twice. He hadn’t had to help at all, and he’d shown up for me twice . It was my turn to help him. “When?”

“I can set up a dinner for next weekend. Then we can date for another few days, and the breakup can happen.”

“And then?”

“And then maybe we try to see if we can do the whole friendship thing.”

I smiled. I liked the thought of us staying friends. He was a cool guy, someone that I got along with. Yeah, he was also scorching hot, and the night we’d spent together had been intense. It was the kind of night that I’d replayed in my head for weeks after the fact. If life hadn’t gotten in the way, I would have been more than willing to have a repeat experience. It was too late for that now, but I didn’t want to lose him either.

It wasn’t every day that you found someone that was willing to play pretend with a near stranger just because they seemed a little stressed out. He was the kind of friend I wouldn’t mind having in my corner.

“I’d like that,” I told him simply. We talked for a few more minutes, and he promised to text me the details of dinner once he talked to his mom.

When I hung up, I saw a new text message on my phone.

Luce

Are you going to hit send or leave us staring at the bouncing dots all day?

Fuck. I forgot that they could see that I had written a message.

I deleted the breakup text and typed in an invitation to get dinner to anyone who was available.

It turned out that Luce, River, and Natalie were all available. We met up at Pie in the Sky a few hours after my message and gathered around a corner table. After a little small talk, the conversation turned to Luce’s party. Mainly because she was complaining about the fact that the marinara sauce Pie in the Sky used was lacking compared to her personal recipe.

“How are things going with you and Seb?” Natalie asked, interrupting what seemed to be an eternal tirade about marinara sauce. Luce glared at her, but Natalie barreled on. “Please, for the love of god, tell me things about you and Seb. Distract Luce before she starts talking about the cheese selection.”

“One time!” Luce exclaimed. “I mentioned one time that a three cheese blend— ”

“Babe,” River cut off their girlfriend, resting one hand on her forearm. “I get that you’re excited about pasta sauce and cheese and all things food, but you agreed to let other people cook for you tonight. That means that you need to hush about how you would make it better, enjoy your pizza, and listen as Chris talks about his button of a boyfriend.”

I fought the urge to glare at River. They had the best intentions, but I would almost rather listen to Luce rant about food. It would mean not coming up with more lies about my relationship with Seb.

But three sets of eyes were staring at me, and I knew I was not getting off this hook. My stomach sank as I said the only words that came to mind. “I’m meeting his mom.”

“Holy crap! That means it’s getting serious,” Natalie squealed, clapping her hands together.

Oh, that was going to make the breakup a lot harder for them to swallow. Fuck. I should have said something else, anything else. “He’s close to his mom. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s a huge deal,” Luce corrected. “River and I were dating for eight months before they met my parents. I still haven’t met their parents.”

“Don’t their parents live in Iowa or something?”

“Indiana,” River corrected. “My parents live in Indiana.”

“That’s basically the same thing,” I countered, “and different couples move at different speeds. ”

Like some couples went from zero to a complete fake relationship that included meeting the parents in the time it took for one idiot to open his mouth. In this case, I was the idiot. This lie was getting deeper than it ever should have.

“I think yours is moving at the speed of light.” Luce’s statement was delivered with one of her patented looks of judgment. I could only imagine how much worse that look would be if this all fell apart and the truth came out.

As much as I hated lying to my friends, I hated the idea of them finding out the truth more. They’d never trust me again, and I wouldn’t be able to blame them.

A part of me knew that I should just come clean, tell them that this thing had never been real in the first place. I opened my mouth to speak, but Natalie beat me to it. “Stop giving him a hard time,” she scolded the others. “Seb is nice, and we all saw how happy he looked when he actually had someone that could hold their own in Taboo. Do you guys remember when he brought Vic to game night?”

I groaned at the memory. Vic had been one of my more recent exes. We’d been together for three months before I brought him to game night. We’d been on completely different pages during Taboo, which wouldn’t have been a big deal. Except that when we lost, he threw a fit. He acted like we’d somehow been cheated. When we lost a second game and his reaction was the same, I knew that he was not the one for me. I couldn’t handle that hyper-competitive bullshit.

When Seb lost, he laughed.

It was a small wonder that my friends liked him better than Vic. I liked him better than Vic, and I wasn’t actually dating him. To be fair, it was barely a competition between the two. If it were, Vic would probably appear and start throwing breadsticks because he was losing.

“He was the one that threw the hissy fits, right?” River asked. “You were dating him when me and Luce started seeing each other?”

“You mean the giant man baby?” Luce clarified. I chuckled at the description and grabbed another slice of pepperoni pizza from the stand in the middle of the table. “That was him. He was—” She looked down at the half eaten slice of cheese pizza on her plate. “God, I can’t even think of a tactful way to describe him. He was a disaster, and I’m so glad we never saw him again.”

“I remember. You told me. Several times. I’m pretty sure if I didn’t break up with him, you would have stolen my phone and done it for me.”

“I had to stop her from stealing your phone when you were saying goodbye,” Natalie volunteered. Luce reached across the table and swatted our red headed best friend. Natalie laughed. “Don’t act like it’s not true!”

Luce looked like she was about to deny it, but I wasn’t sure there was any denial she could make. River came to their girlfriend’s rescue. “We like Seb though.”

There was that heavy guilt settling into the pit of my stomach again. Maybe I should have asked Seb to be a less than great boyfriend at the party. Make my friends hate him.

Maybe I should volunteer to do that for the dinner with his mom.

It was a thought.

It turned out that it was a bad thought. The moment I got home, I called Seb and suggested that I make his mom dislike me. Then he wouldn’t have to catch as much shit about our breakup. I knew I was going to have to deal with it, especially after that dinner. My friends had spent the rest of the evening singing his praises, asking when they’d get to hang out with him again, and insisting that I try to make him a regular at our game nights.

At least I could get out of that one easily. Our game nights were usually on Thursday, and I knew he had plans with his friends every Thursday.

Luce was serious about getting to see him again. She’d actually suggested moving game night one week to a night that would be better for Seb. I kept my answer noncommittal, claimed I’d talk to Seb, and hoped that the topic would be dropped until after I told them we broke up. It shouldn’t be that hard, right? It was only another week and a half.

“So, why don’t you want me to be a terrible boyfriend?” I asked into the phone. I laid back on my bed and put my phone beside me.

His answer came out tinny, ringing out over my speaker phone. “I don’t want her to hate you. If she hates you, then she’s going to hate the idea that we stay friends. It’s better that she likes you and that we tell everyone that we’re better off as friends.” He made a lot of sense. I just didn’t like the sense that he made, because it would put him in an uncomfortable position. Not that this entire thing wasn’t an uncomfortable position. “My mom’s excited to meet you, anyway. If she hates you, then she’s just going to be disappointed.”

“And you don’t want to disappoint her?”

“No.” He let out a soft breath. I remembered the way those soft breaths felt against my skin the night we slept together. “I never want to disappoint her.” He was silent for another few moments before he spoke. His voice was heavy when he spoke again. “Meaning that she can never find out that this whole thing is fake.”