Hard to Pretend (Hard to Love #2)

10. Chris

10

S eb and I barely left his bed after we’d hooked up the night before. We laid curled up together and talked about nothing in particular until we got tired. Then we curled up together under his pale blue comforter.

It was the best sleep I’d gotten in ages.

I woke up well rested with the sun peeking through the crack in his blackout curtains. His head was on my chest, and I felt his warm breath against my nipple. I already had morning wood, and that was not helping. His arms tightened around my waist, and he let out a pleased exhale. I smiled and took in a deep breath of his shampoo. My arms stayed tight around his waist.

I jolted a little when I felt the press of his lips on my torso. I looked down. His eyes were still closed, but he was kissing on my chest. Not helping the morning wood issue. Then I felt it. The subtle shift of his hips and his dick, just as hard as mine, brushing against my thigh. He let out a quiet sound and his hips moved again.

“Seb,” I whispered.

The sound from his lips made my cock throb. Holy fuck. I needed to wake him up. I didn’t mind him using my body to get off on me. In fact, the idea of him getting off from grinding against me was hotter than I would ever admit, but I would really rather he be awake during the fulfillment of this particular fantasy. We hadn’t gotten around to any discussion of kinks or fantasies, so I had no idea if he’d be okay with me touching him in his sleep.

And if he kept rubbing his dick against me, I was going to want to touch him.

If you give a mouse a cookie or whatever.

“Seb,” I whispered again. “Wake up.”

He groaned and ground against me harder. I thought I heard my name on his breath. I felt precum pool on my thigh, and holy shit it was hot. I needed him to wake up. I nudged his shoulder, and his eyes fluttered open. He ground against me one more time before he realized what he was doing.

“Fuck,” he groaned, rolling over on his back. His dick stood proud, tenting the blanket. Even in the dim light, I could see the color flood his cheeks. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I reached for his hand and brought it to my own hard dick. “It was kind of hot. What were you dreaming about? ”

He squeezed my dick before giving it a tentative stroke. “You.”

“What about me?”

My hand found his dick under the covers, and I gave him a short stroke. He let out a shaky exhale. “I was thinking about the first night we spent together,” he answered. “After Goliath. One of the hottest nights of my life.”

“Same. We’ll have to repeat it sometime.”

I knew we could have repeated it right then, but it didn’t feel like the right time. It would have been the right time the night before, when we were losing ourselves in each other’s bodies. Now? Well, my stomach was growling. I didn’t want this to be quick and sloppy. I wanted to take my time with him, take him apart, make him beg for my cock.

It was one of my favorite things to do with a partner.

I pulled him closer to me. He rolled over and faced me. He was so pliable. I aligned our dicks and wrapped my hand around us both. His hand circled mine. We kissed as we fucked into the tunnel of our hands, precum slicking the glide until we exploded all over ourselves. Then we took a shower, cleaning off the remnants of our morning.

My stomach was screaming in hunger.

“I’d offer to make you breakfast, but I haven’t gone shopping,” Seb confessed as he pulled a shirt over his head. I found my shirt from the previous night and started to put it on before he passed me one of his. “I want that back.”

I looked down at the shirt. It was fairly nondescript—just a plain black shirt. From what I could see of his dresser, he had more than one. It was a little snug, especially around my arms, but I didn’t mind. Judging by the look on Seb’s face when I pulled it on, neither did he. “You know, if that’s a thinly veiled excuse to see me shirtless again, you can just ask,” I teased.

He laughed. “It’s not a thinly veiled excuse for anything. I just like that shirt.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “I know. It looks like a generic black shirt, but they discontinued that brand, and it was my favorite.”

I fingered at the hem of the shirt. “Should I trade it for a different one?”

His eyes moved over my body, and he shook his head. “No way. That shirt looks hot on you.”

“Okay, if you keep looking at me like that, we’re never leaving this apartment,” I warned him. My stomach grumbled again. “Dana’s?”

We finished getting dressed and left the apartment. It took longer than it should have, because Seb kept stopping to steal kisses.

We finally got to Dana’s Diner, one of my favorite spots in King’s Bay. It was a small family diner, open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Some towns had Waffle House as the harbinger of doom, the caution light warning that something was very wrong when it closed. We had Dana’s Diner. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen it closed, and I’d lived in King’s Bay my entire life.

It was decorated in a vintage style: black and white tile floors and white tables. There were red chairs around the white tables in the middle of the floor, and the booths were upholstered with the same red vinyl. We were seated in a corner booth, and we made quick work ordering food from our server. Our meals came out quickly, and before long, the growling beast in my stomach had been sated.

I’d like to say we had good conversation over coffee and pancakes, but that would be a lie. I was so hungry that I couldn’t focus on our conversation. It was always a struggle, but that was something Seb would learn about me in time. At least, I hoped it was something that he’d learn about me in time.

I’d just flagged down our server for the check when I heard the bell ring over the front door. I watched as Mason and Vince stepped into the door, followed by River and Luce. Mason’s eyes lit up as he noticed me and Seb, and my friends descended on our table.

My shoulder’s tensed.

Seb’s eyes flared in alarm as he took in the expression on my face. He started to turn around to find the reason, but Mason’s booming voice stopped him .

“Chris, Seb!” he called out as they landed beside our booth. He looked at Seb and then at me, a knowing smile on his lips. “So, is this why we couldn’t get ahold of you this morning?”

“Huh?” I asked. I hadn’t heard my phone ring. Of course, I hadn’t checked my phone since I picked up Seb the night before for our date. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone that long without looking at my phone. I pulled it out now and hit the side button to wake it up. It was a brick, completely dead and unresponsive. “Guess it died.”

“When was the last time you let your phone die?” Luce questioned, raising her eyebrow.

“I don’t think our Christopher went home last night,” Mason teased. “Overnight visit with the boyfriend?”

I rolled my eyes.

“So it’s getting serious?” River questioned, their forest green eyes darting between us.

That was my out. I could have set the record straight. I could have told them the truth, that Seb and I weren’t actually dating. That last night had been our first real date. I could have freed Seb and I both from this lie. Instead, I smiled cryptically and thanked God that our server came back with the bill. It was the coward’s way out, but I would rather be a coward than have my friends lose their trust in me.

I would also rather be a coward than have my idiotic decision exposed.

“We’re still new,” Seb answered when I didn’t.

He had to have been an actor in a past life. He was too good at playing along without any hesitation. I was intrigued.

“And we’re still kind of on a date,” I added as I pulled my card out of my wallet. I handed it back to our server. He took the black check holder from me.

Luce looked between me and Seb again. For a moment, I thought I saw a glimmer of suspicion behind her gray eyes. I didn’t like it. I wanted to get out of there before the ball of guilt forming in my stomach grew any heavier. The longer we sat there pretending, the bigger it got. She looked at me a moment longer, and I tried to keep from physically squirming. If I did that, the whole facade would be ruined.

It would all be for nothing, and my friends would be pissed.

Because I was lying. Because I’d roped someone into my lies.

“Okay, let’s leave the lovebirds to their day,” River said after a few moments of awkward silence. I shot them a grateful smile. “I’m starving.”

I watched as my friends walked off. Our server returned with the check, and I signed it.

I don’t think I breathed again until we were outside. I let out a loud breath, and Seb caught my hand. “You okay? ”

“I kind of feel like shit,” I admitted. “I don’t like lying to my friends.”

I felt him squeeze my hand. I expected him to ask why I did then. Why I didn’t correct the assumption that things were getting serious between us. I thought he was going to ask why I let them keep thinking things that weren’t true, especially now that I didn’t need to pretend anymore. I was pretty sure that we’d proven that the kiss wasn’t a glitch.

“I get that,” he said instead, “but I get why you did it.”

I wished that I understood why I did it. I wished I understood why I didn’t come clean.

Could we build something real on the foundation of a lie? Did he even want to build something real?

I knew I should ask him, but it was just another example of me being too cowardly to do what needed to be done. Instead, I gave him a gentle kiss. The way he kissed me back felt like an answer to the question I didn’t ask, and I decided to take that.

“I don’t think I’m ready for our date to be over,” he said after he pulled away.

I didn’t want our date to be over either. I wanted to spend the rest of the day with him. Hell, I wanted to spend a lot longer than that with him. I wanted to drown myself in his company.

We found things to do around town. We walked around one of the small antique stores that tended to attract tourists more than actual residents. It was slow most of the year, which meant that it was quiet. I laughed at the things that Seb pointed out, and I had to try to talk him out of buying the worst lamp I’d ever seen in my life. It was a garish bright gold with a royal blue velvet shade. There were tassels hanging from the shade. It was tacky.

“You’re right. It probably wouldn’t go with most of the stuff in my living room anyway.”

“Plus it’s ugly,” I told him bluntly.

His jaw dropped in mock horror. “So rude! Now I want to buy it just to spite you.”

I took the lamp from him. It was heavier than it looked. “If you ever needed to commit a murder, then this lamp might actually be a good purchase,” I teased him.

I put it back down on the table where we’d found it and we kept roaming. He didn’t find any other ugly lamps, but he did end up buying a framed picture of some old couple on the beach. It was an old photograph, and you could feel the love radiating off the couple in the heavy silver frame. I didn’t personally understand the appeal, but it was his money. When I asked him about it, he just said that the picture made him happy.

He carried the plastic bag like it held a priceless artifact all day.

After the antique store, we visited a comic book store. He found an issue he said Matt had been looking for and paid for it. We grabbed lunch—burgers and fries, not seafood thankfully—and took a walk along the beach. We spent a few more hours together and finally said our good-byes.

When I dropped him back off at his apartment, I felt the strangest rush of loneliness as he walked away.