Chapter Seven.
Harley
M om and Dad handled the situation better than expected and ensured Oakley felt welcome. I wondered how long Oakley would last because shit was getting crazy at the Hall. There were three days remaining until Christmas, and all hell was breaking loose.
I was sitting next to Oakley, who looked in total shock.
“Did that just really happen?” she asked me.
“Yeah,” I replied.
“Dante and his gang killed elf on the shelf,” Oakley said.
“Yup.”
“They put them in a pile and burned the lot of them.”
“Yes.”
“Holy shit. They’re crazy,” Oakley muttered.
“I tried to warn you,” I responded in self-defence.
Oakley turned to look at Mom.
Mom had a large bottle of Southern Comfort out and was pouring it neat. A quarter was gone already. Mom was also muttering under her breath.
“Nashoba will never be the same,” Artemis hissed, grabbing the bottle off Mom and drinking straight from it. “I warned Ace and Apache he was too young for heritage stories. Now my poor boy will have nightmares of Ace being trapped inside a fucking elf!”
“Noah and Asher won’t ever trust another damn elf on the shelf again,” Autumn spat, snatching the bottle from Artemis. “They’re five years old, and those asshole men just stole elf on the shelf from me!”
“You can always tell them you’ve checked with Santa and that the elf is a good one,” Jodie suggested, taking the drink from Autumn.
“Great idea, girl! She’s got your brains,” Artemis said, beaming at Jodie.
“Asher will be traumatised for life.” Autumn sighed and grabbed the Southern Comfort back.
I stood up and headed to the drinks cabinet and pulled out some bottles. Oakley watched amused as I handed Artemis a Jack Daniels and Lindsey, who was sitting morosely, a bottle of Amaretto. Lindsey opened it and took a deep mouthful. Marsha wriggled her fingers for the Tequila.
“EJ’s hair was singed. His beautiful locks. I’m going to scalp my fucking husband when he’s asleep,” Lindsey muttered.
I snickered as Oakley winced. If she wasn’t on painkillers, I’d give her a drink.
I suppose I should be grateful that she’d injured her feet. Otherwise, she’d run from this madhouse screaming.
Oakley shook her head as I fetched her a diet coke. She seemed in shock, so the sugar should perk her up. I hoped.
“Welcome to the family,” I said as Oakley gazed at me.
“Thank fuck I can get a divorce,” she replied and laughed as I winced.
◆◆◆
Oakley wheeled herself towards me, looking panicked. It was two days to Christmas and the chaos hadn’t stopped.
This morning had been a nightmare. Axel and Ace had taken half the Hellions to make ornaments. It’d been a massacre. The Princesses had decimated the Legacies. Why the fuck they hadn’t split the boys into one group and the girls into another, I didn’t know.
Ace was drinking the hard stuff as Nashoba had elbowed Nokomis, and she’d smashed his head into the table in retaliation. Nashoba would now have a wonderful bruise across his forehead for Christmas, which meant Artemis was on the warpath.
Ace had disappeared with a bottle of Tequila. Worse, Artemis was upstairs trying to wash the glue out of Nashoba’s hair and not have to shave the kid bald.
From there, it deteriorated so quickly I thought we were living in an insane asylum. Julianna, in a fit, nearly glued Hawk’s lips together. The twins had been separated, but that hadn’t stopped them from fighting. Despite Ace taking scissors away from Robin while he’d dealt with the Dante situation, Robin had cut Lexie’s ringlets on one side.
Sin had completely melted down, and Jett had taken Lexie to the hairdressers in an emergency. In the meantime, Dante had marked a huge D on Aria’s head, claiming that was his mark on her.
The princesses had gone batshit crazy and drawn a dick on his forehead. Gunner was now gunning for Dad and Dante, and they’d both disappeared. Seemed my father and brother had a sense of self-preservation.
Oakley had been horrified when she’d seen Dante.
If this hadn’t been an arranged marriage, I knew Oakley would have run screaming from here and demanded a divorce. Hell, she still might. Especially after the cookie fiasco that I’d been present for. That deteriorated between Garrett, Jake, and Amelia.
It then proceeded to break into a full-scale war after Peyton sprayed Elijah, Kite, and Eagle with icing for messing with Isla’s cookies. After that, it was save your damn self until Mrs Ames stopped it.
Of course, Oakley had witnessed everything. I knew she’d be joining the old ladies who, for the third day in a row, had started drinking early. I wondered if I should be concerned for their livers and decided what the hell. The women deserved it.
How Dad had talked Mom into letting the brothers plan Christmas, I don’t know. But Mom did also kind of deserve this for agreeing!
“Harley!” Oakley screamed as she headed towards me at speed.
“What’s up?” I asked Oakley as she wheeled to a stop.
“Eddie. Shotgun!” Oakley cried, panting.
“What?”
“Shotgun!” Oakley screeched.
A loud boom echoed from the front of the Hall.
I froze.
Fuck, that was a shotgun!
“Eddie!” I bellowed, taking to my heels and racing through the house. Oakley raced along behind me.
“Aunt Carly’s in trouble! The Big Foot is gonna eat her!” Davy screamed.
There was a second bang and a thump, and I belted into the entrance hall. Adults and kids appeared from all over the Hall.
Eddie lay on her back just inside the door, holding a shotgun.
“He is going to eat Aunt Carly!” Amelia shrieked. “Get him! He’s a Big Foot! Daddy! You gotta help Aunt Carly!”
Eddie dropped the shotgun and scrambled to her feet. “Charge!” Eddie yelled. “Save Aunt Carly!”
Save Carly from what? I wondered as we all moved forward again.
Dad raced past me, grabbing the gun from the floor before anyone else got a bright idea. Oakley and I hit the entrance and witnessed Davy, Amelia, Bethany, Harper, and Eddie tackle a snow-covered figure.
Oakley gasped out loud as the five girls began beating the downed target while Carly tried to haul them off. I winced in sympathy as Harper smashed Rock’s head—I was pretty sure it was Rock as Carly was trying to save him against the ground.
“Holy shit!” Oakley breathed.
Dad and Klutz reached Rock and checked him over. Well, Dad checked he was alive and then began bellowing at Eddie, who answered indignantly.
Rock looked shocked as Klutz assessed him for injuries. I snorted as Eddie neatly turned the tables back on Dad.
Oakley sat beside me in shock. “A shotgun. A damned kid with a fucking gun. That’s not normal,” Oakley muttered.
“Babe, nothing is normal about this family,” I said.
“No shit, Harley!” Oakley cried.
“Dante, you little fucker!” Gunner roared from behind me.
Oakley nearly came out of her wheelchair. In his arms, he carried Aria, who was sniffing. Dad looked cornered and grabbed Dante before heading into the trees.
“Good luck keeping him alive, Dad,” I muttered.
“You all need locking up!” Oakley hissed at me.
“Yeah. But for now, babe, you’re stuck with us,” I retorted.
Oakley was horrified.
◆◆◆
Dad had somehow, in his infinite wisdom, got hold of real-life reindeers. What the fuck?
“I want to see them!” Oakley was demanding.
I’d completed a sword and dagger after a hard slog through the night; all I wished for was to relax. But no, Oakley needed to visit the reindeer. After the shocks she’d suffered, I couldn’t really say no.
The good news was Klutz had checked her feet over with Lynda, and they both agreed she was healing but urged her to stay off them still.
“I’ll take her,” Jared offered, and I glared at him.
“Nah. I’ll do it. I can carry you to a toboggan and pull you over,” Christian added with a smirk.
“That would be wonderful!” Oakley gasped and clapped her hands. “I need my coat and gloves!”
“Wrap up warm,” Mom said, nodding her head.
I glowered at all of them. “I’ll take her. She’s my damn wife!” I snapped.
“Pretend,” Christian reminded me.
At this rate, Christian wouldn’t make his twenty-first birthday. I’d be burying him in the woods.
“Still wearing my ring!” I retorted, getting to my feet.
“For now, bro. Oakley might want to trade up when she divorces you,” Christian teased.
A fury swept over me as Christian grinned. That little fuck knew exactly what he was doing pressing my buttons. And then I uttered the fateful words.
“Oakley is mine.”
Dad broke into gales of laughter, and Jared joined in. Christian smirked, and Mom gasped while Jodie and Serenity swapped knowing glances.
“Pay up,” Cody cackled from the corner.
Without a word, I grabbed Oakley’s chair and shoved her out of the room.
“What just happened?” Oakley asked, confused.
“My family are dicks,” I replied.
Oakley looked even more puzzled. But as soon as we reached the cloakroom, she perked up. I bundled her up in the coat I’d bought her and handed over her hat, gloves, and a scarf. Then I grabbed a thick blanket off a shelf.
I checked outside, and sure enough, there was a toboggan waiting for us. Double-checking her feet were warmly wrapped, I picked her up, carried her down the porch, and placed her on the toboggan.
There was a backrest where Christian had piled pillows, so I settled Oakley in comfortably.
I put the blanket around her and tucked it under her legs, and, holding on to the backrest, I pushed us in the direction of the reindeers.
I still couldn’t believe Dad had done this.
As we approached the pen, I saw Rudy, the guy in charge of the reindeer, wave.
“Oakley, this is Rudy,” I announced. Oakley’s eyes widened, and she swallowed hard.
Rudy laughed. “I’ve heard all the jokes, don’t worry,” he said.
“I can imagine. Could I see your reindeer? But not the one that chased Vivie this morning,” Oakley asked, gazing around.
“That’s Blitzen, he took a real liking to her,” Rudy replied, chuckling.
“I’ve been told. Vivie screamed all the way to the porch,” Oakley responded, laughing herself.
“I watched it on the cameras. It was pretty damn funny. I thought Vivie was going to strangle Dad,” I admitted.
Rudy led over a reindeer, “this is Donner.”
“He’s adorable,” Oakley squealed as she reached out to stroke Donner’s velvet nose. Donner snickered, and I smiled. Oakley was in her element as she greeted the reindeer Rudy brought over. She fed them handfuls of leaves and moss and stroked them all.
An hour later, Rudy said he needed to put them into their stables, and Oakley said a sad goodbye.
“How about a walk? The grotto will be lit up,” I suggested.
“That would be wonderful. I’ve heard about the decorations but not seen them,” Oakley answered.
“Well, there’ll be no orgies in the penguin field,” I replied, and Oakley giggled.
“That’s a shame!”
◆◆◆
Oakley liked seeing the grounds all lit up. For several hours, we wandered around, me pushing the toboggan and Oakley relaxing in it. I took pleasure in seeing Oakley’s enjoyment. Until we hit the baseball diamond.
“What’s that?” Oakley asked.
“A baseball diamond.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, Carmine used to play in it,” I answered stiffly.
“Can I see? I love baseball,” Oakley demanded.
“Sure,” I replied.
Oakley stared at me, puzzled. “Is something wrong?”
“No. Come, I’ll show you it.” I pushed Oakley towards it.
“Something’s off. Let’s go elsewhere,” she suggested.
I sighed. “I played baseball, and I was going to play pro. No lie, I was good. Then, when I was sixteen, some seventeen years olds were picking on Christian about Carmine. Christian was thirteen, and I went to intervene. I got Christian away safely, but when I turned my back, one of them bashed my brains in.”
“Oh my God,” Oakley gasped.
“I spent a year in a coma. When I came out, I had to learn to walk and talk again. My ball career was over. If you feel the back of my skull, you can feel where doctors removed part of it to let the swelling in my brain out.” The anguish rose inside me. It’d been my companion for a while and slowly faded as my blacksmithing skills grew. I still played, but I didn’t speak about it. Baseball had been my first love, and those assholes had brutally snatched it from me.
“Harley,” Oakley gasped and reached up and grabbed my hand.
“It’s fine. I don’t come here with people. I play against the machine. And I’ve got smithing. It gave me a new joy to replace the one I lost,” I muttered.
“No, it is not okay. I hope those boys were punished,” Oakley hissed.
I laughed. Yeah, they were certainly punished. Mom made sure of that. “Yup, karma got them.”
“Good. You still play, you said.”
“Against the pitching machine. I’ve not played in front of anyone since I woke up and was told I would never be one hundred per cent again,” I replied.
“I understand. Let’s go elsewhere. I’d never want to cause you pain, Harley.”
“Thanks. How about the rose garden?” I suggested, pushing her away. I glanced over my shoulder at the dark diamond and straightened my shoulders.
Oakley
How bad could a nativity play be? Today had been drama-less, and I felt relieved. Every single child had behaved, even during the snowball fights outside.
Presently, we sat in the drawing room staring at a makeshift stage. The Hellions were performing a play.
Harley had told me that Rock, Texas, Manny, and Slick were responsible for this. But Harley kept sniggering, which meant I was warned something would happen. Minutes later, my mouth dropped open as Isla made her opening statement.
“I’m Mary, and married to Joseph, and I’m knocked up,” Isla said.
A low moan escaped; this was going to be painful.
“And here we go!” Harley muttered.
By the time we got around to Joseph giving Mary Rohypnol, I was in complete shock, and the old ladies were hitting the bottle again.
Forty minutes later, Harley pushed me into the drawing-room, where every single woman was getting completely drunk. The brothers had been banished, and Drake was bellowing in anger in his study.
Harley told me there would be sleigh rides soon. Those with children would head to Santa’s village. Those who didn’t could still take a ride but bypass stopping at the village. Instead, we’d pass through it and continue on the twinkling route.
I considered all possible issues. But it turned into a beautiful twenty minutes, and I loved it. It’d been so romantic. Harley and I had snuggled under a thick mock fur blanket with our hats, scarves and gloves on. We had completed this walk on the toboggan last night, but it was more magical in the sleigh.
Harley wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and I cuddled in snug as he pointed out things that I’d missed the previous evening. It was beautiful. The moon was high in the sky already, the stars sparkled, but we could see clouds moving in.
Snow began falling towards the end, and Harley tucked me even more firmly against him.
“This is amazing, I’ll not forget this,” I whispered. “Not ever.”
“It’s something special,” he agreed.
We lapsed back into silence, and I smiled. I’d remember this until I died. That was for sure. This was the complete opposite of the chaos from earlier. Harley’s hand grasped mine, and I clung on tightly. Just for tonight, I could pretend everything was okay.
◆◆◆
“He’s up the chimney?” I asked Harley, who’d collapsed into giggles in the corner. He, Cody, Jodie, Serenity had all stuffed their hands in their mouths as they tried not to laugh out loud.
Jodie managed to nod and snorted as we looked towards the fireplace in the drawing room.
“Oh shit, should we stop them?” I questioned.
“Nope. Everyone’s watching. The Legacies will give Dad a hell of a fright, but Mom won’t let them light the fire.
Jodie and Serenity had just told us about Santa’s helpers. I was glad I’d missed that, although I’d had giggles when Jodie explained that the old ladies had made all those in costumes parade in front of them.
I’d decided to go with the flow. The entire family, the club, the old ladies, and the children were all certifiably insane. There was no point in trying to buck the trend. Instead, I’d just sit back and watch.
The latest antic was Drake stuck up the chimney after attempting to be Santa.
We’d been sitting in the corner when Drake had called out. He’d gotten wedged.
Harley had stopped me helping Drake and sent Jared to fetch everyone as Drake yelled for help. The Hellions had followed their parents, and now we all sat in silence as Drake threatened his son.
“Shit, Dante, he knows my name. Is that Santa?” EJ asked.
Harley doubled over in laughter as EJ glanced around the room wide-eyed. Lindsey made a wind-up motion, and EJ and Dante nodded.
Both boys looked ecstatic.
“Dante Chance Michaelson. Get some adult help right now!” Drake yelled shrilly.
Dante peered at Phoe.
She grinned in response and raised a wine glass. By my reckoning, Phoe was well past merry and heading for paralytic. As were most of the old ladies. They lounged on the sofas and watched the fireplace with interest.
Some were laughing hard with heads buried in cushions. The brothers stood around with wide grins. I guessed they thought this was payback.
“Get the wood. Yeah, Mom stacks that and shoves paper in the gaps to make it burn,” Dante said and caught my attention.
“Should we get some gas to ensure it burns?” Nashoba asked.
“Don’t you little fuckers dare! Phoe would tan your asses red if you burn down the Hall!” Drake yelled. “Go get your dads! Dante, if you set that alight, I’ll make your life a living misery.”
“In that case, it’s all the more reason to put the fire on,” Dante replied.
Shit, what a comeback!
I snorted and began giggling, and Jodie shoved a cushion at me. I held it over my mouth as we all watched avidly.
A ruckus came from the chimney and a tearing noise followed by a shout. Drake landed on his ass, legs splayed out and filthy dirty.
“You were going to burn me alive,” he snarled at Dante as he rubbed his back and winced.
“Mom told me to,” Dante replied, shrugging.
Drake glared at Phoenix, who repeated Dante’s actions. “Needed that after today.”
Drake opened his mouth to argue and then shut it. He glowered at everybody as they broke into gales of laughter.
“There’s only one Santa, Drake!” Axel boomed, looking smug.
Drake began cursing as everyone laughed.
I wiped tears from my eyes.
Harley looked at me, doubled over from laughing. I dreaded to think what tomorrow would bring.