Harmony Island Gazette

7. Juniper

The morning went smoother than I’d anticipated. Boone was uncomplicated and focused, which helped me relax as we went through the daily motions of opening the store. Without Mom and Dad here complicating things, we were able to finish the prep work and chat with Sal and Katie when they walked in.

I set up shop at the register, while Boone chose to walk the aisles and stock the shelves. If I needed assistance, all I needed to do was call him over the intercom and he’d come open a register.

By lunchtime, the store was humming with life and the sound of the register scanning each item. I was in a rhythm, and for the first time in a long time, I felt…relaxed.

And I was enjoying it.

Mrs. Dodd handed me a twenty after I rang up her bananas, three yogurts, a half gallon of milk, and a chocolate bar. I took the money from her, typed the amount into the computer, and my register drawer opened so I could get her change.

“Where’s your mother?” she asked as I handed her the money.

“With my dad. They’re headed to California to help my aunt—Mom’s sister.”

Mrs. Dodd’s eyes widened. “I hope everything’s okay.”

I knew how private my mom was. The last thing she’d want me to do was share my aunt’s business all over town. So I just forced a smile and said, “It’s just a visit. They’ll be back in a few days.”

Mrs. Dodd nodded as she tucked the money into its respective spots. “She’s lucky to have such a loyal daughter like you,” she said as she raised her gaze to meet mine. “I know she’s been missing you since you left. It’s good that you came back.”

Guilt, shame, and anger flooded my body at her words. Guilt that I let Kevin keep me away for so long. Shame that I hadn’t been stronger and stood up for myself. Anger that I was still keeping things from my parents even though they’d so willingly taken me back.

I was a terrible daughter.

I forced a smile and handed Mrs. Dodd her receipt. She took it and bid me farewell as she turned and headed toward the automatic doors. I collapsed against the register and took in a few deep breaths. Who was I kidding? Why did I think I could actually feel peace when my life was in shambles. And it was all my fault.

“When do you want to go to lunch?” Boone’s voice drew me from the fog in my head. I turned to see him standing behind me. My feelings must have been written on my face because his expression turned serious as he took a step toward me. “What’s wrong? Is he here?” His body stiffened as he glanced around the store.

I raised my hand and shook my head. “No. I’m okay,” I lied as I straightened and smoothed down my shirt. “Just a bout of nausea.” I cleared my throat. “Lunch?”

He glanced down at me before glancing around the store one more time. I could tell by his expression that he wasn’t fully convinced, but I’d learned enough about Boone by now to know that he wasn’t going to push me—unlike my mother. If I said nothing was wrong, he would accept it, even if he was skeptical.

“Yeah,” he said as he pushed his hand through his hair. “If you want to go, I can watch the register.”

My stomach grumbled in response. I was ready to eat. “Um, sure.” I turned back to the register and then back to him. “Yeah, I can go.”

His gaze met mine. “Only if you want to.”

My lips tipped up into a soft smile. Boone was…different. Kevin always told me where to go and when. He never asked me what I wanted. I was his wife. His property. I didn’t have a say even when it came to what I wanted. Hearing Boone make sure I was okay with taking a break was nice.

I liked making my own decisions.

“I do. I’m hungry, and if I don’t eat I’ll get nauseous.”

Boone’s gaze drifted down to my stomach before he nodded. “Okay.”

“Thanks.” I patted his arm as I passed. He stiffened, and for a moment I wondered if I’d overstepped. But then I pushed those thoughts from my mind. Boone and I were friends. He knew more about me than anyone else in my life.

I walked to the meat counter to pick up one of Sal’s famous sandwiches. After grabbing a bag of Funyuns, I slid back the door to the drink cooler and grabbed a Sprite before I made my way to the register to pay.

There were two people in front of me when I got in line. Boone was quiet as he scanned each item. The woman who was standing there, watching her groceries, was about my age. I’d never seen her before, but that didn’t mean anything. There were a lot of new people in town.

She was desperately trying to engage Boone in conversation. Her smile was wide, and her laugh was loud whenever she was able to get a few words from him. Their connection would only last for a moment before Boone dropped his gaze to focus on scanning the food. I could tell that Boone felt uncomfortable, but the woman didn’t seem to realize she was bothering him.

She kept talking, and at one point, she reached over and touched his hand. Anger rose up inside of me as I watched the interaction. I didn’t like that this woman thought she could just come in here and touch the employees. I also didn’t like that she couldn’t pick up on the fact that he was uncomfortable. Sure, Boone was hot. He had this brooding, mysterious element to him that would pique any woman’s interest, but he was so much more than that. And for some strange reason, it was frustrating me that she couldn’t see that.

Thankfully, the woman ran out of groceries to scan. She glanced around as if she were looking for something else to pick up, but Boone motioned toward the credit card machine and told her the total. The woman pulled her card from her purse while asking him if he was free Friday night. I held my breath, waiting to hear what he was going to say.

Sure, he was helping me with the store Friday during the day, but he had no obligation to hang out with me Friday night. I didn’t like the idea of him going out with this stranger who seemed a little too eager to get to know him…but I also knew that I had no right to ask him to stay with me.

“I’m busy,” Boone said as the register spit out her receipt. He tore it from the machine and handed it over to the woman.

She took it and then paused before she reached over the register and grabbed a pen. She held it poised over the paper as she glanced up at Boone. “Can I give you my number in case you change your mind?” she asked as she flashed him a big smile.

Boone must have said something to reject her because her expression fell as he spoke to her. She forced a smile before she wrapped her hands around her shopping cart, and pushed it toward the sliding doors. She gave him one last longing look before she disappeared out to the parking lot.

The guy in front of me had an energy drink and a doughnut, which Boone scanned quickly. He ran his card, took his bag, and hurried from the store.

Boone looked over at me, and his expression softened as the conveyor belt activated, pulling my items toward him.

I stood there, studying him as he rang up my items. I couldn’t shake his interaction with that woman from my mind. Why hadn’t he said yes? The woman was clearly interested and was determined to make things very easy for him. Most guys would have flirted back if only for the confidence boost.

Why didn’t Boone seem remotely interested? What was his story?

“Everything okay?” Boone’s voice ripped through my reverie.

I startled, standing straight and clearing my throat. “Yea—yes. Yes. Everything is fine.” I tucked my hair behind my ear and brought my gaze up to meet his.

He was studying me with an amused smile on his lips.

“What?” I asked as I moved my attention to the card machine, waiting for the total to appear.

“Nothing.” There was something in his tone and the smooth way that word left his lips that frustrated me. It was like he was reading me when it was almost impossible to read him. It really wasn’t fair.

“You don’t smile at me like that when it’s nothing,” I blurted out as I slipped my card into the reader just as the total came up on the screen. When Boone didn’t answer, I glanced back up at him.

His eyebrows were drawn together. “How do I smile at you?” he asked. The register came to life as it spit out the receipt. He didn’t pull his gaze from mine as he reached over and tore it off. He held it in his hand as he studied me.

There was a depth to his gaze as he lingered. Zaps of electricity sparked around us, and for a moment, it felt like the world had slowed.

Then suddenly, Boone dropped his gaze, shoved the receipt toward me, and mumbled something about enjoying my lunch break. Before I could respond, he pulled out his phone, leaned against the counter, and started scrolling.

I paused, wondering if I’d done something wrong. But then I shook my head and grabbed the grocery bag that held my lunch. Boone was a strange one. There were moments he let down that guard he’d formed around himself. There were moments when I got to see the real Boone. But then, as soon as he realized what he’d done, he’d go right back to the aloof, standoffish guy I met the first day he showed up at the store.

I made my way to the back break room, my mind swirling with questions but knowing that I really didn’t have the right to ask any of them. The best thing I could do for myself was to just let them go. Boone was here for a short period of time. As soon as Kevin left Harmony, Boone would no longer be needed.

I couldn’t imagine Kevin staying much longer if he hadn’t left already. Every time we returned to Harmony, the longest he could stand was a few days before we were packing up our suitcases and heading back to Texas. I was hopeful that he would keep the habit this go-around.

I set my lunch down on the table and pulled out a chair. After I’d opened the bag of chips and drink, I propped my phone against the napkin dispenser on the table and unwrapped the sandwich as I watched reels on my phone.

My sandwich was half gone when I heard a noise behind me. I grabbed a napkin from the dispenser and wiped my mouth as I turned to see what it was. My entire body froze when I saw Kevin standing in the doorway, sweeping his gaze around the room. When it settled on me, all I wanted to do was throw up and run away.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said as he stepped into the room.

My body stiffened as he walked closer to me. I wanted to tell him to leave me alone. I wanted the strength to get up and run away. But I was rooted to my chair, and I couldn’t form coherent sentences much less strategize how to get out of this situation.

The sound of chair legs scraping across the cement floor echoed against the walls. He plopped down on the chair next to mine and extended his legs out, one underneath my chair and the other behind the back chair legs, effectively trapping me.

He reached forward and grabbed the bag of chips and began eating them. He had a few before he wrinkled his nose and dropped the bag back down on the table. “Bleh. I will never understand why you like those,” he said, flicking the bag across the table with the back of his hand. “They’re nasty.”

My mouth was dry. It was taking all my strength not to hurl up my lunch. It was a strange feeling, not being able to get enough moisture in my mouth but my glands tingling as my stomach churned.

Kevin leaned forward until his face was inches from mine. His hand found my leg, and he began to slowly drag his palm and fingertips up my thigh. “I miss you, baby,” he whispered. “When are you going to come back home?” He tucked his hand between my legs and held it there.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. But my body wasn’t responding to anything. He had this hold on me. I hated how weak and helpless I felt when he touched me. All I wanted was the strength to protect myself, but it never came. Instead I just froze, taking whatever punishment he wanted to dish out.

“I heard your parents are out of town.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my temple. “I can come over if you want. You can’t tell me that you don’t miss me, too.”

I closed my eyes, hating that there was a part of me that still wanted to say yes. Kevin had been my world for so long. I didn’t know who I was without him. But my situation had changed since I walked away from him. I was pregnant with his baby, even though he didn’t know that.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to tell him, but I knew the break room of Godwin’s Grocery wasn’t the place.

“Let’s get some dinner, first,” I finally managed out as I turned to face him.

He raised his eyebrows but didn’t pull back. “Dinner?”

I nodded. “Tonight.”

He smiled. “Sounds amazing.” His phone buzzed, forcing him to sit up straight. He pulled his phone from his back pocket and glanced at the screen before he tucked the phone away. “Gotta go, babe,” he said as he leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on the lips. It happened so fast that I didn’t have time to pull away. The last thing I wanted was to kiss him. “I’ll send you a text with the address and time of the reservation.” He shoved his chair back as he stood. “Dress nice.”

I nodded but kept my focus on the table in front of me. Kevin mumbled a quick goodbye and didn’t wait for my reply. He was gone before I looked up.

Now alone, I let out the breath that I’d been holding. I reached forward to grab my sandwich. My hands were shaking as I wrapped it back up. My stomach was too volatile to put anything else in it.

I kept glancing toward the doorway, waiting for Kevin to come back. It took five full minutes for my body to start to relax. With each ticking minute, Kevin was getting further and further away from the store, which meant I was safe. He wasn’t going to just appear again.

With my lunch packaged in the plastic bag I’d gotten from Boone, I leaned back in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest in an effort to feel more in control of myself. I closed my eyes and took in a few deep breaths.

This was not how I saw today going.

I’d secretly wished that Kevin had left Harmony, but he hadn’t. I’d secretly wished that Kevin would let me go, but he wouldn’t. And I’d stupidly deluded myself into thinking that our relationship was over, when it wasn’t.

Kevin hadn’t let me go even after I’d made it clear that I wasn’t interested in being together. He was going to have the final say. I would always be his. Which meant the baby was his as well. Even though he’d never wanted a child, he’d use it to control me.

I pressed my hand to my stomach, loving the baby growing there but hating the situation it was being born into.

I wanted to believe I could be strong, but after this interaction with Kevin, my confidence was crumbling. And the last thing I wanted to gamble with was our child’s safety.

I was determined to find the strength inside of me to walk away, and when I did, it needed to be for good.