Harmony Island Gazette

16. Boone

It was five in the morning, and I was awake. In all honesty, I hadn’t slept much last night. I’d spent most of my time tossing and turning. Thoughts of my night with Juniper haunted me in a sort of morbid fantasy.

I wanted to be the hero in her story. I wanted to be the man to save her and carry her away from the toxic situation with Kevin, but then the sight of her wide eyes and panicked expression when she thought I was going to hurt her crashed into my mind, grounding me back in reality.

Kevin may be the villain, but I was the monster.

I yanked my blankets off and sat up. I planted my feet on the ground in front of me while I rested my elbows on my knees and tipped my head forward. There was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep. And there was no way I could hang out here with my thoughts.

I needed to run.

I grabbed a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt and headed into the bathroom. Once I was changed and I’d splashed some water on my face, I opened the door and made my way back into the living room. I dug through my bag for a pair of clean socks, then laced up my tennis shoes and stood.

As soon as my feet were pounding the pavement and I was taking in deep breaths of salty air, my mind began to clear. I forced out all thoughts of Juniper and focused on the task at hand: running until I stomped out my feelings for her.

Last night was the first time I’d felt alive in so long. Touching Juniper. Feeling her body under my fingertips. Seeing her stare up at me with trust and admiration made me long for more. I felt like the Grinch. When Juniper was around, my heart grew.

I feared who I would become when I left.

I closed my eyes for a moment, focusing on the sound of my breath. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I opened my eyes. I was running on the side of the road. Thankfully, in a small town no one was up this early, and I was alone on the road. The occasional car passed, but they were few and far between.

I ran and ran. I was going to keep running until I could accept that Juniper and I were never going to be what I so desperately wanted us to be. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to protect her until my last breath.

But she wasn’t mine, and she never would be.

Thirty minutes later, I glanced up to see the sign for Harmony Cove in the distance. I blinked, confused how I got here. I left not knowing where I was going to run to, and suddenly, my mother’s community came into view. My body thought it knew what I needed while my mind remained oblivious.

I didn’t stop when I ran past the weatherworn sign. I was just going to go until my body told me to stop. A left and then a right, and suddenly I was standing in front of mom’s house for the second time since I’d returned home.

I stood on the sidewalk, my chest expanding as I tried to calm my breath and heart. I let my gaze drift over her house. I could hear her call after me as I stormed from her house and didn’t look back. She was weak but stood her ground that she wasn’t going to leave Bob. Her flavor of the week.

I was done trying to get her to see that the men she brought home weren’t good for her. And she was done trying to convince me that I was wrong.

She spat out a slew of curse words before she told me to leave and never come back. I took her up on that offer. I just hadn’t realized that conversation was going to be our last.

I closed my eyes and tipped my face up toward the sky. I’d give anything to go back and just hug her. Tell her that I loved her even if, in that moment, she hated me. To take her with me. Free her of the pain that came with every man who entered her life and left it.

As much as I hated my mom for not being strong enough, I hated myself more for failing her.

I tipped my face forward again and my gaze focused on the front door. The last time I’d come, I’d only been able to make it to the driveway. My feet started to move, and I walked from the sidewalk to the driveway.

The walkway to the front door was crumbling and littered with weeds. My steps felt heavy as I made my way up it and climbed the two steps to the front stoop. I pulled open the storm door and stared at the door handle.

I lifted my hands, my fingers brushing the metal. Was I strong enough to open the door? My fingers curled around the knob and I twisted it. It shifted but didn’t turn fully.

It was locked.

I dropped my hand and glanced around. Mom always had a spare hidden outside the front door for me. I wondered if it was still there. I glanced around but didn’t see the hide-a-key rock. I backed up and down the steps, keeping my gaze focused on the river rock in front of the house. There was a patch of weeds that had grown to my hip, so I pushed them down with my foot.

Tucked in the far back of that patch, near the house, I found the familiar grey rock that stuck out if you knew what you were looking for.

I bent down and picked it up. I rotated it, looking for the opening, and heard the key shifting inside. I pressed on the release, and the little door swung open. I could see the key nestled inside, so I tipped it into my hand.

I stared at the key as it lay on my palm.

Was I really going to do this? Was I going to walk into my mother’s house?

I steeled my nerves and returned to the stoop. I held onto the key as I slid it into the lock and turned. I could hear the lock disengaging. It was a soft click. But with the way my nerves were feeling, it echoed in my mind. I stared at the doorknob now, knowing that all I had to do was turn it and push, and I would be inside my mother’s house. Facing the past that I’d spent so long running from.

I lifted my hand, my fingers brushing the metal before they curled around the knob.

One. Two. Three…

I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to face what was inside of this house. I wasn’t ready to face the place I should have stayed.

I should have saved my mom.

My chest felt restricted as I reengaged the lock and pulled the key from the knob. I slipped it back into the hide-a-key and buried it deep into the patch of weeds.

I needed to get out of here. It was a mistake to come.

I hurried down the sidewalk and crossed the driveway. Just as I made it to the sidewalk, the sound of someone clearing their throat startled me. An older man was standing on the sidewalk with a curious terrier sniffing my shoes. The man’s eyebrows were raised, and he was staring at me.

“Geez,” I said, clutching my chest as I leaned forward to catch my breath. “You scared me.”

“You from around here?”

I glanced up before I straightened. “Kind of.”

He frowned. “What are you doing poking around Hannah Lewis’s house?” He folded his arms. “I haven’t seen anyone come or go from that house in years.”

“I, um…er.” I didn’t know what to say. This man didn’t seem to know that I was her son, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that information to get out there.

The man sighed, loud and pointed, while pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. “I’m going to be grateful when all you investment companies get the hell out of our small community.” He opened his eyes to stare at me. “We just want to be left alone.”

Did he think I was with the Proctors? My stomach churned. There was no way I wanted to be associated with those people. “I’m not?—”

“I’ll tell you this, you’re wasting your time with that house. I’m not even sure her son can be reached and he’s the one that inherited it.” He pointed his finger at the house. “It’ll be going up for auction soon. Apparently, Hannah’s son hasn’t been paying the property taxes on it.”

I hated how he made me sound irresponsible. I wanted to defend myself to this man, but I also wanted to keep my anonymity. Besides, he did have a point. I hadn’t been paying the property taxes. But I’d been busy, and back then, coming home was the last thing I wanted to do.

The man tsked as he brought his gaze from the house to me. “It’s sad though. Hannah always waited for her son to come home. I know she’d be brokenhearted if she knew that he never came back before it was sold off.” He shrugged. “That woman didn’t have a lot, but what she did have, she was proud to leave to her son.”

The vice around my chest tightened. Emotion coated my throat, and I feared that if I didn’t get out of here right now, I was going to break down in front of this stranger.

I needed to get the hell out of here.

I dipped my head, thanked the man for his time, and jogged back down the street. It had been a mistake to come here. I should have stayed away.

Anxiety and regret filled my body, and I ran faster and faster to get them to leave. But no matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t outrun what that man had said.

My mom waited for me to come home…and I never did.

My throat crackled with each swallow. I cleared my throat in an effort to remove the emotions that were built up inside, but nothing I did could appease my guilt.

I was sweating when I finally got to the Godwin’s street. I didn’t stop running until I was at the end of the driveway. I was panting as I leaned forward to catch my breath. I stared at the pavement, sweat dripping down my face.

My shirt felt like it was strangling me, so I straightened and, in one swift movement, pulled it off. I gripped the fabric as I turned my attention back to the house and, for the first time, noticed a black SUV.

I frowned as I approached it. Was Kevin here?

The driver’s door opened, and a man stepped out. He was wearing a suit, and his hair was slicked back against his head. “Boone Lewis?” he asked as he stepped forward and extended his hand.

I glanced down at it but didn’t take it. “Yeah.”

He held his hand out for a few more seconds before he curled his fingers into his palm and dropped his hand. “Collin Baker. You’re a hard man to get a hold of.”

I snapped my gaze up to the Godwin’s house. Had he knocked? Did Juniper know that a Proctor lackey was currently parked in her parents’ driveway?

“What do you want?” I asked, praying that she was still asleep. I needed to get this man away from me. “I’m not selling.”

Collin was in the middle of pulling something from the inner pocket of his jacket, but my words made him pause. He glanced up at me with his eyes wide. “You haven’t even heard my offer.”

I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m not selling.” I stepped to the side. “So, you can get out of here.” I was done with him stalking me. This kind of behavior may work on other people in this town, but it wasn’t going to work on me.

“Mr. Lewis. I suggest that you listen to this offer. I’m not sure you’re going to hear it again. Besides, I’ve been to the courthouse. I know that the taxes haven’t been paid.” He leaned closer to me. “Very soon, you’re going to lose the negotiating power you seem to think you have.”

I didn’t like this man, and I didn’t like what he was implying. This was my mother’s house, and there was no way I would sell it to a man who was most likely going to bulldoze it.

I held his gaze as I leaned into him. “I’m not selling,” I said before I sidestepped him, crossed the yard, and went up the front porch steps.

My mind was racing and my ears ringing as I pulled open the front door and stepped inside. I pulled the door closed behind me and glanced up only to stop in my tracks.

Juniper was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Her satin robe was open, exposing the short satin pajama set she was wearing. Her long, creamy legs had me swallowing. Her hair billowed around her shoulders, and she was carrying a mug in her hands.

Her eyebrows were drawn together. “Where were you?” she asked softly before she tipped her focus to the front window, which currently showed Collin pulling out of the driveway. “Who was that?”

I shook my head, not wanting to talk. My emotions were a wreck, and I needed a shower to clear my head. “Wrong house,” I said as I made my way across the living room.

I could feel Juniper’s gaze on me as I walked past her to the hallway. I felt horrible for brushing her off like this, but I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about what had happened at my mother’s or the fact that the Proctor family seemed to think they could get what they wanted by harassing me.

They were pushing me, and I was a man who would not be pushed.

Juniper didn’t respond, but I really didn’t give her a chance to. I shut the door on her surprised expression, pulled open the shower curtain, and flipped the water on. I planted my fists down on the vanity and tipped my head forward as I let steam fill the air around me.

I closed my eyes, hating that I’d started this morning out trying to clear my head, and I only managed to muck it up that much more.

I was a mess. And I was beginning to realize that, no matter what I did, I was going to stay a mess.

The last thing I should do was involve Juniper. Her situation was complicated enough, and I was being selfish wanting to stay around her.

If I was truly falling in love with her, then the best thing I could do was to walk away.

She deserved all the happiness in the world. And in order for her to have that, I needed to leave her.

Forever.