Harmony Island Gazette

19. Juniper

Time always seemed to stand still when I was waiting for something. I was standing at the register the next day, willing the seconds to tick by faster, ready to get my lunch with Kevin over. I was ready to put him firmly in my rearview mirror so I could finally start living.

I was finally ready to be Mrs. Kevin Proctor no more.

I tapped my fingers next to the register as I mentally fought the urge to pull out my phone from the drawer. I was trying to keep myself from glancing at the screen just to see how many minutes hadn’t passed by. I blew out my breath and glanced around, needing a distraction.

I had exactly fifteen minutes until I needed to leave. And with the way I was feeling, they were going to be the longest fifteen minutes of my life.

Of course, the store was slow. The last customer had come through my register twenty minutes ago, and not a single person had walked in since then.

Boone had kept to himself since last night. This morning, he’d been up early. By the time I came out, he was showered and had made breakfast—French toast with bacon. We ate in silence at the dinner table, and then he waited for me while I grabbed my shoes. We left the house walking side by side, me to my car and him to his truck.

When we got to the store, we parted ways, and he’d kept to the back most of the morning. I tipped my gaze up toward the ceiling. What I wouldn’t give for someone to come in and engage me in conversation. I’d even take a call from my mother at this point.

But I doubted she would oblige. They’d been so busy in California that all I’d gotten was random texts here and there. Some were to remind me of a delivery to the store. The others must have been butt-dials because they made no sense.

I was glad my parents were enjoying themselves, and I was grateful they’d been gone long enough for me to figure out what I wanted to do with Kevin. By the time Mom and Dad were back, my divorce would be well on its way, and I would be ready to start my new life as a single mom.

My hand pressed my stomach at that thought. Single mom.

Of all the ways I’d seen my life going, this possibility was not even a blip on my radar. Now, I had to think about that baby first and foremost. I had been bumped to second string.

“Hey, when were you wanting to take lunch?”

Boone’s voice startled me. I yelped and turned to see him standing right behind me with his eyebrows raised as if he hadn’t anticipated my reaction.

I swallowed, my mouth running dry as all thought left my mind. “I, um…er.” Speak, woman! I cleared my throat and grounded myself. “I can go now,” I finally managed out.

Boone looked confused, but I just stepped out of the register alcove and waved for him to enter. He glanced over at me but obeyed.

“I was getting nauseous from hunger, anyway,” I said as I shot him a big smile.

He nodded. “Okay.”

“Awesome,” I said as I snapped my fingers. “I’m just going to eat some food I have in the back.” I pinched my lips shut. I wanted to give Boone a reason why I wouldn’t be going through the checkout with my food. But my words just came out squeaky and desperate.

If I didn’t get out of here, I was going to find myself confessing that I was meeting Kevin at the diner without Boone even speaking a single word.

“I’m going to go,” I said, turning on my heel and hurrying away.

By the time I got to the back room, my heart was racing. Nerves from seeing Kevin mixed with lying to Boone came crashing together into a vortex, and I was shaking. I was sweating and shivering at the same time.

Maybe this was a strange pregnancy symptom. I entertained that thought for a moment before I shook my head. No. This was definitely a symptom of everything going on externally with me right now. I couldn’t blame the baby for this one.

I grabbed my purse from Mom’s office, pulled the strap up onto my shoulder, and headed out the back door. I was going to walk to the diner today. The fresh air and sunshine were going to help me prepare my mind for seeing Kevin and for what I was going to say.

The walk was uneventful. I waved to a few Harmony residents, and thankfully, they didn’t stop to talk to me. They seemed to be just as distracted as I was.

By the time I got to Harmony Island Diner, I was warm but not quite sweaty, which I was grateful for. I didn’t want to show up to see Kevin sweating like a stuck pig. I walked past the sign, but something caused me to pause. Where it used to say Harmony Island Diner, it now said Sunny Side-Up Diner. The sign was painted with bright oranges and blues, and it was adorable.

I pulled open the door and walked into the restaurant. The sign, Please Wait to be Seated, greeted me at the hostess stand. I paused and glanced around. I knew from the parking lot that Kevin wasn’t here yet, which filled me relief. I’d wanted to get here first so I could pick the table. Nothing worse than walking into a tricky situation without an escape plan.

Thankfully, I only had to wait a minute before a woman pushed through the kitchen doors. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun with wisps framing her face. Her gaze met mine and she quickly set down the tray of utensils she was carrying and hurried over to me, wiping her hands on her apron as she approached.

“I’m so sorry,” she said as she shot me an apologetic smile. “Were you waiting long?” She was at the hostess stand now, reaching down to grab a menu. I read her name tag, Willow.

I shook my head. “No. Not long.” She straightened, but I raised my hand. “There’ll be two of us.”

She nodded, reaching down to grab another menu. “Come with me,” she said as she turned and walked me through the restaurant.

We got to the far table, and she glanced over at me as if to ask if this was okay. I nodded, and she started laying the menus down as I took a seat. She asked me if she could get me something to drink, and I ordered waters for me and Kevin. I knew he would probably want something more, but I’d let him order that when he got here.

Willow dropped off the waters, and I spent what felt like an eternity sipping it and constantly glancing toward the front door. Kevin was officially ten minutes late, which wasn’t like him. I reached into my purse to pull out my phone and came up empty-handed.

I dumped the contents of my purse out onto the table in front of me as my stomach sank. Crap. I’d left it in the drawer at the register. Of course, I did. I’d been so distracted by Boone that I’d forgotten to grab it.

If Kevin had canceled on me, I wasn’t going to get the message.

My stomach growled as I glanced around. Five minutes later, Willow approached me with a cautious smile. She asked if I wanted to just go ahead and order. My first instinct was to say no, but I was hungry and my ice water was no longer keeping those pains at bay. So, I ordered chicken strips and French fries. She nodded as she tucked her pad into her apron and slipped her pen behind her ear. She told me she’d put that right in before she left to help an older couple who’d just come in.

They had to be in their seventies. He was holding her hand as they waited for Willow to grab their menus and lead them to their seats. I couldn’t help but watch as they shuffled to their table. He pulled out her chair for her to sit. She smiled up at him after she was settled. He made his way to his seat, and then they turned their attention to Willow.

There was a time in my life when I’d wanted the same for me. When I thought that was going to be Kevin and I. But that dream was buried six feet under and there was no way I was going to dig it up. I was here to put my marriage to rest, and I was excited and nervous for the prospects of the unknown. I was ready to walk into the future, alone.

If only Kevin would get here so I could actually say those words out loud.

Willow delivered my chicken strips and French fries, and I was halfway through the plate when the chair next to me was suddenly pulled out. I startled, expecting to see Kevin standing there, but instead I was met with the man who had pulled out of my parents’ driveway yesterday morning.

I stared at him, confused why he was in the process of sitting next to me. ”Excuse me. I am waiting for someone.”

The man didn”t look phased as he stared at me. ”I know. Mr. Proctor sent me. Name’s Collin Baker.”

Confusion swirled in my mind. Did he just say Mr. Proctor? ”I think you have the wrong person,” I said.

He shook his head. ”No, I don”t. You’re Juniper Proctor, and your husband, Kevin, sent me.”

I stared at him. “H-how do you know my husband?”

The man extended his hand as if he expected me to take it. ”I work for his father, Mr. Marcus Proctor.”

When it became apparent that I wasn”t going to shake his hand, he dropped it into his lap and leaned against the chair. I could tell that this was not his normal day-to-day job. He was doing this as a favor for the family.

”Why were you in my driveway yesterday morning?” I asked. My brain was scrambling to put together the pieces, and I was coming up short every time. What was I missing?

”I was on official business yesterday morning. It”s nothing I can discuss with you.” He folded his arms across his chest.

”Well, why are you here instead of Kevin?” I asked. In all honesty, I just wanted him to leave. The food I just consumed now sat like a rock in my stomach. And the last thing I wanted was to lose my lunch just moments after eating it. But if he lingered, that was going to become a very real reality.

”Kevin asked me to come to tell you he”s not able to make it today. He said you weren’t answering his texts. He didn”t want to leave you here alone, so he asked me if I could run by and tell you.”

“Oh.” That was all I could say. I came to the diner with such hope for closure and the ability to move on. But it seemed like I wasn”t going to get any of those things. My future was once again stagnant. And I hated it. “Well, thanks for coming to tell me.”

He nodded, looking as if he had done his job, as he stood and pushed his chair back under the table. He said a quick goodbye and headed back towards the front door, not pausing to wait for me to return the sentiment.

I wasn”t sure how long I sat there trying to process what had just happened, but when Willow came over and asked me if I was finished with my plate, I realized I had sat here for quite a while. If I didn”t get back to the store, Boone was going to send a search party for me.

And that”s when reality hit me, and it hit me hard. If this man worked for Marcus Proctor, and he was talking to Boon yesterday in the wee hours of the morning. Did that mean…

I wanted to throw up, cry, and scream all at the same time. My brain had put together the pieces of the puzzle, and yet I was unwilling to stare at the final product. The final product that had my heart ripping to pieces.

Boone worked for the Proctors.

The man who I’d stupidly thought, in some sort of mystical, kismet way, was sent to my family to protect me, was not fate finally showering me with good fortune. No, he was just another proof of the manipulation of the Proctor family. He was the doorway back into my life that Kevin needed. And I was the stupid prey who’d let him in.

Tears brimmed my eyes. I felt stupid and ridiculous and na?ve all at the same time. I’d let myself get close to this man. I’d let him into my home. I’d told him my secrets.

Oh God.

The baby.

Had he told Kevin about the baby? What about the Proctors? I doubted that Marcus or Candice were going to let me raise this child all on my own. If they knew that I was pregnant, they would be speaking to a lawyer. The baby would to be taken from me the moment it was born.

Fear crashed into me. Willow approached the table, but I wasn”t in the mood to speak so I grabbed a twenty out of my wallet and slammed it down on the table. Before she could ask me if I wanted the change, I pushed out my chair and hurried to the front door. Thankfully, she didn”t follow after me.

It wasn”t until I was out on the sidewalk that hot tears started flowing down my cheeks. Luckily, I knew the way back to the grocery store like the back of my hand, so I didn”t really need to see where I was going. I tried to muffle the sobs that wanted to escape. I didn”t want to cry over Boone. I wanted to be stronger than this. But I was heartbroken.

By the time I got to the store, and was standing outside, staring up at the sign, I realized walking back into this place was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn”t want to face Boone. I didn”t want to face the reality of what the future was going to hold. I”d been so optimistic about things when I woke up this morning, and now it had crumbled before me faster than I could blink.

I wanted to go home.

I fished my keys from my purse and walked to the back of the store where I’d parked my car. I opened the door and climbed inside. I found a napkin in the center console and wiped my tears. I started the engine and pulled out of my parking spot.

A sense of relief washed over me as I drove up my parents’ driveway and turned off the engine. I couldn”t wait to get into my room, where I would shut the door—shut out reality. There I could think about what I was going to do. How I was going to handle all of this.

I’d expected Kevin to betray me. That’s what he always did.

I just never thought Boone would do the same.

Just as I pushed through the front door and into my parents’ house, a familiar sound stopped me. My mother’s voice.

They were back?

A sob escaped my lips as the tears began to flow once more. I hurriedly shut the door and rushed to the kitchen, where her voice was coming from. But no one was there.

I was alone.

I stared at the machine, realizing that my mom had called to leave herself a message. Something about not forgetting to set up a doctor’s appointment for my dad when they got back. Also, she reminded herself that she needed to check on Mrs. Boulder.

The sound of my mom’s voice mixed with the pain in my chest, and I found myself acting before I could think. I needed to talk to my mom. I needed to hear her tell me everything was going to be okay. So, I reached forward, grabbed the phone and pressed the talk button.

She was in the middle of leaving her message when the dam broke inside of me. Tears were flowing now, and my voice crackled as I sobbed out, “Mom.”