Harmony Island Gazette

21. Juniper

My entire body ached as I rolled over and grabbed my phone from my nightstand Friday morning. My eyes hurt. My throat hurt. My body hurt.

I’d spent the night tossing and turning, unable to get Boone’s stare out of my head. He looked so broken and confused as he stood in my hallway after I told him to leave. Once I shut the door, I spent an eternity battling with myself until the desire to pull open the door and retract my words won. But he was gone by then. Everything that he owned was gone.

He was nothing but a memory etched into my mind.

I was strong enough to fight the urge to get in my car and drive after him. Instead, I spent the night eating ice cream and binge watching 90’s sitcoms on TV. I’d fallen asleep on the couch only to wake up at 2 a.m. with a sugar headache and a crick in my neck.

I forced myself up, brushed my teeth, crawled into bed, and slept until…

Nine?

I pulled my covers off my body and rolled out of bed. I was going to be late opening the store. I stumbled into my bathroom and started the shower. Once I was clean, I dressed and headed out to the kitchen to make myself some food. Nausea had a way of hitting me like a semi-truck if I didn’t eat religiously.

Just as I rounded the wall and headed into the kitchen, a familiar sight caused me to stop. Mom was standing at the oven and Dad was sitting at the table with the newspaper opened in front of him.

I blinked before rubbing my eyes and glancing around at them once more. “Mom?”

Mom turned, and suddenly the spatula was dropping from her hand and she was crossing the space between us. Her arms wrapped me up into one of her rib-crushing hugs.

“Juniper, I’m so glad you’re okay,” she whispered, tears brimming her eyes as her voice cracked from emotion.

“You came back,” I said, tears brimming my eyes as well. This was exactly what I needed. But then guilt washed over me. “What about Aunt Christi?”

Mom waved away my comment. “She told us we had to go. She’s in good hands with her doctor, and I told her once things were settled here, we’d be back.” She held my gaze. “You need me here.”

The tears that I’d tried so hard to keep at bay started flowing. Mom was right. I did need her. I needed her here with me, or I wasn’t going to get though the day.

Mom started crying as well. But instead of taking care of herself, she wiped my tears, took my hand, and sat me down at the table.

I was too tired and exhausted to fight her. Dad was watching us. I could tell that he wanted to jump in, but he didn’t know what to say. So he just sat there. I smiled at him to let him know that I appreciated his presence.

Mom sat on the chair next to mine. She brushed her tears from her cheeks and focused on me.

My stomach growled, and I felt a wave of nausea come over me. There was no way I was going to make it through what I needed to say to her without some food, so I reached across the table and rested my hand on hers.

“Can I eat first?”

Mom sprang to life. She nodded as she stood and headed back over to the stove, where she had been making some pancakes. I sat, enjoying the familiarity of my parents in the kitchen. I needed this more than I’d realized.

Ten minutes later, Mom placed a plate in front of me and another in front of Dad. She poured me a glass of milk and got Dad a fresh cup of coffee. When she returned to the table with her own plate, I was in the midst of eating. But I knew if I didn’t say what I needed to say to them, I was going to lose my courage.

“I’m pregnant,” I whispered as I stared at the half-eaten pancakes in front of me.

Mom gasped, but Dad was quiet. I waited for them to say something, but there was no other response. I finally gathered my courage and looked up to see my parents staring at me.

“It’s Kevin’s. I just found out last week. I don’t want to be married to him anymore. He doesn’t know about the baby, and I’m too scared to tell him. I don’t want him or the Proctors to take the baby away from me, but I feel powerless to stop them.” The words tumbled from my lips. Every worry that I’d had over the last week left my mouth and hung in the air like a dark cloud on a rainy day.

Were Mom and Dad disappointed in me? I was married, and if I were in a normal, healthy marriage, a pregnancy would be welcomed. But because I was with Kevin, this baby wasn’t the wonderful surprise that it should be.

“Oh, Juniper.” Mom was out of her chair and came over to me. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close. “I’m going to be a nana,” she whispered.

I sat there, a little stunned by her reaction. I heard the sound of Dad’s chair legs scraping the floor, and a moment later, his arms were wrapped around Mom and me. “A baby is a wonderful blessing,” he murmured.

Relief washed through me. My parents were excited for me. They were excited for the baby. It was like I’d been in a deep sleep and I was finally able to wake up. With Mom and Dad behind me, I could do anything.

I wrapped my arms around them, and we just held each other. The past. Our history. It was healing in a way that I’d never thought possible. They’d wanted nothing more than for me to come home, and I wanted nothing more than to stay here until I healed.

Dad was the first to break the hug. Mom was sniffling as she pulled back. She placed her hands on either side of my face and held my gaze. “The Proctors will have another thing coming if they think they can swoop in here and take this baby. Your dad and I will fight alongside you and protect you, understand? You don’t need to be scared.”

I nodded, tears flowing down my cheeks. I heard Dad humph in agreement. “Thanks,” was all I could manage out.

Mom returned to her seat. “Now, tell me what happened with Boone.”

My heart squeezed at the sound of his name. Pain coursed through me as I studied Mom. Of course, she was going to want to know about what happened. But I didn’t want to talk about it. It hurt too much to even think about him.

But they were going to push until I told them, and I was tired of keeping secrets. Perhaps telling them what happened between Boone and me would help me feel better. It was at least worth a shot.

So I told them about Collin Baker. I told them about how he was having meetings with Boone. I told them how Collin showed up for lunch instead of Kevin, and I told them how Boone never denied any of the accusations I threw at him last night. And instead of staying and explaining himself, he’d just left.

The one thing I did leave out was the fact that I was certain I’d fallen for him. That even though he’d betrayed me, I still cared about him. He took care of me when I needed him the most, and that was something I was never going to forget.

I was never going to forget him, no matter how hard I tried.

Mom and Dad were surprised—especially Dad. They didn’t really say much, just that they were disappointed that Boone had fooled us all.

“He did do something helpful before he left,” I said as I pushed some crumbs around on the tabletop.

“He did?” Mom asked.

I nodded. “He set me up an appointment with a lawyer today.” I glanced at Mom and then Dad. “I’m divorcing Kevin.”

Mom glanced over at Dad, who nodded. “I’ll come with you,” Mom said as she turned back to meet my gaze.

“I’m okay,” I whispered.

Mom shook her head. “No, I’m going with you.”

“I’ll go to the store, and you go with your mother.” Dad was standing now, his gaze dark and his expression sharp. He narrowed his eyes at me, and I could feel his anger and hatred for Kevin as he said, “You go there and you do everything to make sure that son of a bitch gets nothing.”

I nodded before Dad turned and headed out of the dining room.

After I helped Mom clean up after breakfast, we spent some time looking at baby clothes online. For the first time since finding out about the baby, I felt excited. But when I climbed into Mom’s car at eleven to make our way to the lawyer’s office, a sense of dread washed over me.

I was on my way to divorce this baby’s father. Even though I knew that I was doing the right thing, I still felt guilty. I loved this baby more than anything, and if I could give it the world, I would.

I was scared of my future as a single mom, but it was better this way.

We walked out of the lawyer’s office an hour later, feeling better. Mr. Phillips was supportive and he was confident that this would be an easy process. Even though it would require me speaking about the abuse I suffered with Kevin, he was certain that the judge wouldn’t let Kevin railroad me like I’d feared.

Mom held the door for me as we called a goodbye and stepped out onto the sidewalk. Mom wrapped her arm around my shoulder, and we made our way to her car in the parking lot.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

I glanced over at her, but just as I did, I caught sight of a black truck. I paused, my heart picking up speed as I watched it turn right and disappear down the road. The truck looked like Boone’s, but then I shook my head. That wasn’t Boone. I was ridiculous to think that it was.

Boone was probably long gone by now. He wasn’t hanging around Harmony.

“Better,” I finally said, turning to focus on Mom, who was studying me. I smiled. “Hungry.”

She laughed as she dropped her arm and made her way to the driver’s door. I followed suit, making my way toward the passenger door.

We were both in the car with the doors shut and our seatbelts on when my phone chimed. Mom put the car in reverse and backed out of the parking spot as I fished around in my purse for my phone. For a second, I allowed myself to think that it was a message from Boone, but when I saw Kevin’s name, my heart sank.

He knew.

“Who is it?” Mom asked as she pulled out onto Main Street.

I’d made myself a promise to tell my parents the truth, so I whispered, “It’s Kevin.”

Mom was quiet for a moment before she asked, “What does he want?”

I punched in my passcode, and his text flashed on my screen.

Kevin:I’m so sorry for yesterday. I had a meeting I couldn’t get out of. Can we meet for dinner tonight? I really need to talk to you.

And then, a moment later, another text came through.

Kevin:Please?

My fingers hovered over the keyboard. Mom kept glancing at me, and I could feel her question in her gaze.

“Mom, I need to talk to him,” I said. I knew that wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it was the truth. I glanced over at her. “He deserves to hear about the baby, and I can’t tell him over text.”

“Juniper, no. That’s not a good idea.”

Mom’s voice had turned desperate now, but I was going to stand my ground on this. “I’ll be fine,” I said as I turned my attention outside.

“Juniper.”

“Mom!” As quickly as my voice rose, I brought it back down as I turned to her. “Please, I need to do this.” I held her gaze as she lingered at a red light. “I will be fine.” I needed her to know that I had to do this. If I didn’t, I would never be able to fully move on.

I needed to prove to myself that I was stronger than Kevin had led me to believe. I was ready to take my strength back. Besides, the broken heart that Boone gave me hurt worse than anything Kevin could do to me. I needed to stare Kevin in the face and tell him that we were over. That I was moving on without him.

He could have Boone. I was done.

Mom narrowed her eyes, but I just held her gaze with all the strength I could muster. “I’m going, Mom,” I said as I folded my arms across my chest and stared out the windshield. “And there’s nothing you can say that will stop me.”