Have Yourself a Merry Little Collins (Scoring with Love #3)

Prologue

Slamming doors. Name-calling. Refusing to speak to me. Isolation. Despite knowing that I deserve better, I willingly put myself through all these things. My friends are right, he’s a horrible man, he doesn't love me, he just wants someone to control.

Today was the final straw.

I’m getting ready for Darcy’s baby shower and Benji stands behind me as I freshen my curls and throw on my mascara. I turn to exit the room only for him to physically block my exit. My pulse immediately quickens, while my throat clogs.

“Where are you going?” He asks, leaning causally against the door frame—as if I haven’t reminded him every day for the past week that I will be gone for a few hours today.

“Darcy’s baby shower, I’ll be back this afternoon and I’ll text you, babe.” I try to remain calm, inching my way towards the door, hopeful he will move out of my way. He doesn’t.

“Just females right?”

“Yep, the guys have Huggies and Chuggies with the team.” I have to physically keep my shoulders from bunching while I answer the question; if he senses my anxiety, he’ll feed on it. Benji will sulk or make me feel like I’m abandoning him for spending time with the people I consider my family.

“Good, you know I don’t want you around him anymore.

” His jaw ticks, refusing to say Collins’ name.

When he found out that Collins and I had been hanging out in my free time, Benji blew a gasket, throwing around words like cheater and whore, ‘forbidding’ me to be in his presence unless we were in a group setting, which I’ve stuck to… For the most part.

“I know, Benji, and I haven’t been around him unless I had to be.

” I gently place my hand on his chest, lifting to place a kiss on his lips before attempting to move out of the bathroom and into the hallway of his apartment.

I don’t make it far before his large hand is wrapped around my wrist, and I’m pinned against the hallway wall by his broad body.

The slight moment of peace I thought I was experiencing shatters immediately.

“Listen to me, and you better listen fucking well.” His voice is dark and low in my ear.

“If you come back here looking like you’ve been touched, smelling like another man, or a minute later than you say you will be…

Well, I think you know how angry that will make me.

” Benji’s grip loosens, one hand moves to my hip, and the other gently strokes my cheek.

“And you don’t want me to be angry, do you, Baby? ”

“No, I never want to make you angry.” I try to smile, but I’m sure it’s more of a grimace.

“Well, you do make me angry, most days, I need you to stop doing that. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t consider my feelings.

” I fight not to throw his words back at him, as he’s never considered my feelings once over the past year.

The gentle hand on my cheek moves to my chin and becomes a firm grasp, holding me in place.

“You’re hurting me.” I manage the anxiety coming back full force as I look into the dark eyes of the man who has had control over my life for the past year.

“Do you think I care? Like I said, you make me angry every day, and, Harley, right now I’m pissed because I know that you’re lying.

” His grip tightens a little more as he glares down at me.

Benji has never hit me, but he will hold me tightly in place while he seethes and screams in my face.

Something that I’ve unfortunately become accustomed to.

“Benji, babe, I promise that I wouldn’t do that to you.” I try to push on his chest, but he’s too strong for me, keeping me firmly where he wants me.

“Oh, but H, I know better, and that’s why I’ve decided you’re going to stay here with me.” He backs away from me, giving me a little space in this tiny apartment hallway.

“No.” I rebuke, surprising even myself with how firm my tone is. I’ve never once told him no, but I’m tired and want to celebrate my friend. “I’m going to the baby shower and I will come back afterward.”

“What?” He snarls but doesn’t close in on me again. I take this opportunity to scurry down the hallway toward the apartment door. “You’re. Not. Leaving.”

“I am going. If you try to stop me, I will not come back.” As I’m unlocking the front door, Benji’s large hand presses against it, holding it shut.

“Baby, come on. I asked you not to go.” His voice is suddenly smooth and sweet again, attempting to manipulate me into staying with him.

“No, you demanded that I stay.” I sigh, but don’t turn to face him. However, I do notice that his palm is no longer flat against the door. It’s clenched into a fist, and his breathing is getting heavier. “I’m going now, I will text you when I get there and let you know when I’ll be back.”

His fist thwacks against the door, causing me to jump before it drops back to his side, “Harley. Please don’t leave, I just want to hang out with you.”

I take the opportunity to swing the door open, but before I can make it through the door frame, his arms are banding around my waist in what a passerby might assume was a hug if they didn’t know he was trying to keep me in his apartment.

“Benji, let go, please.” I attempt to soothe his temper by running my hands up his arms, it’s worked before, but this time, it doesn’t. I don’t struggle because it won’t do anything to keep him semi-tolerable.

“I’m just going to miss you.” I can hear the tension in his voice, the way he’s holding onto his last string of control before he begins fully throwing a tantrum.

“I’ll miss you too, babe. The sooner I go, though, the sooner I can be back in your arms.” He doesn’t respond, instead taking a step back and kicking the door closed before setting me on my feet and spinning me to face him.

“Promise me that you’re coming back to me?” He begs, and I know he means it. He’s scared I’m going to leave and never return, despite knowing that every other time I’ve threatened not to come back, I end up right back here. With him.

“Promise.” I smile softly at him, then I’m pushed back against the wall, and his hands are all over me, his lips on my neck. With anyone else, I would love that, but his tongue feels scratchy against my skin. “Benji, I’ve got to go.”

Rather than letting up, he presses his pelvis into mine and continues to run his hands along my body, “Don’t leave me.”

“I’ll be back,” I sigh.

“I need you, do you feel what you do to me?” He ruts himself against me again, and I attempt to push him away.

He looks up at me first with shock that quickly morphs into rage.

Before holding his body firmer against mine, my leg between his presents the perfect opportunity.

I swiftly lift my knee into his crotch, and he doubles over in pain, so I do it again, but to his nose. He falls to the ground.

“You fucking bitch.” He groans as I grab my purse, slam the door, and run down the hallway and then the stairs to my car.

Panicked breaths heave in and out of my mouth.

Tears stream down my face, but I don’t slow down until I’m pulled out of his apartment complex and speeding in the direction of the one person that I know can calm me down in this situation.

The door to Collins’ modest suburban home swings open. His brows raise in confusion and then dip in concern when he sees my state. I’m sure my makeup is running down my face, and my clothes are probably wrinkled. “Harley, are you okay?”

“No.” I gulp in a breath, the adrenaline beginning to wear off.

“What’s wrong?”

“I left.” I don’t have to tell him who I left, why I left, or what happened.

Collins is the only person in my life who truly knows what I have been dealing with when it comes to Benji.

Collins lifts me into his arms. Just like every other time I’ve shown up here in tears, he carries me to the couch, pulling me into his side, where I cry, then I speak.

Recounting the entire situation to him through my tears, I notice as his free hand clenches into a fist and then unclenches repeatedly at his side.

He's never liked Benji, yet he’s always been supportive when I need it.

“Aren't you supposed to be at the baby shower?” He asks rather than forcing me to talk more about what happened.

“Well, yes, but I can’t go in this condition. I’m unwell and Darcy probably already hates me.” A new ache in my chest forms where the adrenaline once was. My friends have done their best to support me, despite how I’ve abandoned them.

“I promise they’re just worried about you. I think they’d love to see you.” His voice is like a warm cup of chamomile tea; it calms me in ways I don’t understand.

“I’m late. Kodi tried to call me while I was on my way here, but I could barely breathe, let alone have a conversation with my best friends.” I argue. I know they’d love to see me, but then I’d have to rehash it again. I don’t think I’m ready for that.

“She’ll understand. I can follow you to the beach house if you want.” His strong hand that’s wrapped around my side runs softly up and down my arm.

“No, you have to get to Tate’s party,” I say, burrowing further into his side before we stand. He grabs the box of Huggies from beside the door, and we walk to our cars.

Collins always opens my car door for me, but before I slide in, he says, “Text me when you get there, and come back here if you don’t want to go home tonight. Either way, just let me know, okay?”

“Of course. Thank you, Collins,” I say, wrapping my arms around him before sliding into my car and heading toward Tatum’s beach bungalow.

Watching the ocean crash against the bridge and the sunset along the horizon reminds me of something I often share with my clients at the Right Place, Right Time Center.

A quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Every sunset brings the promise of a new dawn.”