Hawk (Ride with Me)

Chapter 6

Ruby

I remember the first time I worked a private room. I was a nervous wreck, incapable of uttering one word as I walked inside. Fortunately, the client at the time only wanted a private dance. It did require me to rub my ass against his hard-on, but he never took it out and he never touched me otherwise.

Over time, I learned how to deal with things better, and I understood what I was comfortable with. It took a year for me to say yes to requests for sex, and I’ve always been careful about who I said yes to.

Now, as I stare at Hawk, my stomach is in knots and my heart is about to stop in my chest. I am a mess, close to how I was during my first time. Worse, actually, because I am as nervous as I was the first time ever.

It doesn’t make any sense, and I need to snap out of it. So, I take a condom from where I put it on Hawk’s stomach and rip off the seal. With a lot more confidence than I feel, I place it on the tip of his cock and roll it down to the base. I take a moment to move my hand up and down, smoothing it out, amazed by his girth but refusing to show it.

The second my lips touched his bare skin earlier, I regretted it. I called myself all sorts of names for forgetting to have the condom ready. I didn’t lie when I told him that condoms were always required when giving blowjobs. But somehow, I got swept in the moment and almost licked him bare.

Now, as I wrap my lips around his tip, the taste of latex invades my taste buds. It is oddly comforting, knowing that I am not at risk of catching God only knows what he might have, because he doesn’t strike me as the type who doesn’t fuck hookers. And no matter what he thinks about me, I am not careless with my own health.

I bob my head up and down, allowing my own spit to lubricate him. I tried different lubes before, but I couldn’t deal with the flavors. Not to mention, I had an allergic reaction to one of them once, which almost put me in the hospital. Natural lubricant is always best. Trick of the trade and all that.

Hawk grabs me by the hair and pulls hard, forcing me to lift my mouth off him. For a second, I wonder if he wants me to stop, but then he pushes me back down with force. He does it a couple more times until I catch on that he wants me to move faster and take him deeper.

I am always up for a good challenge. He might be one of the biggest I’ve ever had, but there is no stopping me once I started.

I bob my head up and down in a hypnotic move, with each time going down a little more, until he finally reaches the back of my throat. The hands in my hair get tighter, pushing me down more.

Relaxing my jaw, I close my eyes and regulate my breathing, focusing on that instead of the way his cock is now sliding down my throat.

“Fuck,” he growls when I swallow around him.

After that, it gets a little messy. I feel his strong thighs tensing under my hands just as his hands are now clenching at my head. Saliva drips out of my mouth, pooling at the base of his cock while he starts lifting his hips and pushing harder down my throat.

I don’t react in any way, just do what I am supposed to. He fucks my mouth with a lot more enthusiasm than I was expecting considering how cocky he was when I first walked in here.

Seeing him again scares me and turns me on in equal parts. I’ve never had such a visceral reaction to a man before, especially one who I will have to work against.

I know for a fact that he will kill me if he catches on that all I want from him is information. On the other hand, after my last encounter with Bricks and Snake, it has become clear that they will kill me if I don’t do what they asked of me.

Either way, I am in serious trouble.

As I continue sucking onto Hawk’s cock, I go over the plan I came up with last night. I have decided to get all the information I can from Hawk as I also cash in on all the time he requests with me. I have enough money saved up to move away from here. I can find work anywhere, and could even afford to take a break for a month or two. It would not be ideal, but at least I won’t seem desperate as I look for the perfect fit for me.

I was thinking Louisiana would be a good choice. It won’t require too much traveling, and it would put enough distance between me and all these gangs who’ve put me in the middle of their illegal activities.

“Fuck,” Hawk grinds into my mouth. From the way he’s moving, I can tell he’s close.

For a split second, I wish I could taste his cum and swallow it. But memories from the past remind me why that would be a terrible idea. The night I got raped, I got enough of that. Never again, I promise myself.

I do feel the moment when he lets go. The condom fills with warm liquid, and I lift my mouth off him. My jaw is a bit tight when I do that, and I need a moment to recoup from the effort. It seems to be getting harder lately, all the tension I’m putting on my jawbone hurting me for days afterward.

I sit back on my legs and wait for him to calm down. His chest rises and falls with his heavy breathing, and his head is thrown back, eyes closed.

He really is a very handsome man, I think to myself. No wonder I am wet for him. Although, I’m not sure whether I am wet for him or merely a response to what we just did.

I decide to give him credit for it since I did get extremely excited the last time we were alone in a room.

“Not bad,” he winks at me when he brings his eyes to mine.

I realize that it’s the same thing I told him when I first saw his cock, and I start laughing. The sound is surprising. I don’t remember the last time I laughed because I genuinely thought something was funny. I press a hand to my mouth, worried that I might have offended him.

Hawk takes his time removing the condom off his now shrinking cock. He ties it at the end and drops it in the small trashcan that’s sitting next to the seat he’s in.

My eyes widen in surprise when I notice him pulling his boxers back up and pulling the zipper on his jeans. He then takes the condom we have left and sticks it in his pocket.

“That was it?”

Hawk chuckles. “Are you that desperate for me to fuck you?”

His question offends me, and I don’t even know why. I’ve dealt with customers before who thrived on humiliation, specifically when they served it to others. I’ve heard enough in the last four years to know not to take anything personally. But somehow, Hawk’s gotten under my skin.

I plaster a smile on my face and lift my shoulders in an innocent shrug. He shakes his head in amusement.

“You’re cute, I’ll give you that.”

I remain at his feet, wondering how I should proceed next. So far, I got nothing I wanted out of him and he got everything he wanted from me.

“You never answered my question.” I try to make my voice sound as innocent as possible.

“What question was that?”

Suddenly, I have a hard time looking him in the eyes. I fidget nervously before dropping my head to rest it on his knee.

“You said you’d tell me what business brings you here if I sucked your cock,” I remind him.

He pats me on the head. “Ah, very good memory, sweetheart.”

I swallow hard, refusing to even blink. I’m not a damn spy. I don’t know how to get information from a person without sounding obvious about it. Lala would’ve probably been a lot better at this than I am.

“Have you ever heard of the Steel Lizards?”

The question is so surprising, I feel instantly weak.

“Everyone has in these parts,” I reply. My head is still resting on his knee, and my eyes are staring at the wall ahead of me.

“Do they come in here often?”

Jesus, is he here to get information on the Steel Lizards while they are forcing me to get information from Hawk about his own club? What a total mess.

“Some of them,” I confirm to him. “I-I don’t have anything to do with them.”

The way I say it makes me sound guilty as all hell. God, I am so terrible at these freakin’ games.

“I just want to make sure I don’t run into them,” Hawk tells me. “Them knowing I’m here would not be good.”

My entire body tenses at hearing that. “W-why not?”

“I am supposed to pick up some of their girls.”

I lift my head up in surprise. “What?”

What he’s telling me is too close to what Bricks said. I was hoping he was wrong.

“What girls?”

Hawk squints his eyes at me in suspicion.

“Why are you asking so many questions?”

I feel sick to my stomach. I just messed up, and I don’t know how to fix it.

“I-I’m not sure,” I stutter. “Curiosity, I guess,” I chuckle nervously.

Hawk lifts and arm up, bringing his hand close to my face. I jump when he touches my bottom lip, pressing on it and doing a good job of smearing my lipstick.

“Curiosity killed the cat, sweetheart,” he smiles at me. “And I’d hate to kill you.”

My eyes fill with instant tears, giving myself away. I can’t control my emotions as they crash into me. The instinct to flee is strong, so I push myself away from him and get back on my feet in no time, the high heels presenting no challenge in that regard.

“I’m really sorry,” I cry out. I press both hands to my eyes, focusing on nothing but my heartbeat. I learned a while ago that it helps centering me when I feel a panic attack coming.

A voice penetrates through the fog shrouding my brain.

“You’re not in trouble.”

I nod in response, but it’s mostly reflex. I am not capable of understanding much at the moment. In my head, I keep track of my heartbeats, and every ten seconds, I hold my breath, count to ten, let it all out.

“Good girl,” the same voice as before tells me. “You’re doing so well.”

I almost scream when two heavy hands drop on my shoulders and start massaging while the voice keeps on whispering encouraging words in my ear.

I’m not sure how much time passes until I feel strong enough to lower my hands from my eyes. When I look down, I realize with horror that the fake eyelashes I put on earlier in the evening have come off and are now stuck to the palms of my hands.

“A little better now?” Hawk asks from where he’s standing in front of me. I didn’t even realize he’d moved from where he was sitting. His hands are on my shoulders, strong fingers pressing on all my sensitive points there.

When I look at him, he frowns a little.

“You look different…”

I look back down at my hands, the fake eyelashes still there.

“I really need to go now,” I whisper. But then I realize that our session is not yet over. “Unless…”

I hesitate, unsure of how to say the next part.

“Unless what?”

Taking a deep breath, I look back up. “Unless you wanted to fuck.”

He drops his hands from my shoulders and takes a step back. He crosses his arms over his chest and watches me thoughtfully. It’s as if he is actually pondering whether he wants to fuck me or not.

“Nah, not tonight,” he finally says.

Disappointment floods my body. It’s as if I somehow failed despite the fact that I was hoping he’d say no.

“Are you done here for tonight?”

I’m not sure what he wants to know, and Hawk reads my confusion correctly.

“Are you done with your shift, or do you have other clients lined up?”

I try to think, but I’m pretty sure I am free to go home once I am done with him. He blocked a lot of my time.

“No, you’re my only one.”

The words come across intimate somehow, and I want to take them back, especially when Hawk stares at me with his unforgiving gaze.

“Grab your shit,” he grinds out through his teeth. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

First, I nod in thanks, but then I realize what he just said.

“No, you can’t.”

There are a lot of rules surrounding our interactions with clients. Developing a personal relationship with one of them would get us automatically dismissed from dancing at the club. Clients are not allowed to see what we drive or where we live, hence separate parking lot that’s not accessible to anyone but the staff.

“JJ will walk me to my car,” I stammer out. “He does it every night. I’ll be safe.”

Hawk shakes his head at me. “Who the fuck is JJ?”

I flail my arms about, looking nothing like the confident woman who walked into this room earlier.

“He is the security guard,” I explain.

I start walking toward the door, ready to be out of here. When my hand touches the knob, I wait for a moment to see if he’ll stop me. He doesn’t say anything at all, so I rush out and run down the hallway until I get to the dressing room. By the time I drop into the chair at my assigned table, I am out of breath.

Lala pops out of nowhere, a knowing look on her face.

“How did it go with Hawk?”

I look around to make sure no one can hear us.

“I can’t do this, Lala,” I whisper yell at her. “I almost got caught.”

She has the nerve to laugh. “Caught doing what? Blowing him?”

I blush at her words, but I am also worried that she obviously watched. It’s like I am under constant surveillance.

“He asked me about the Steel Lizards,” I whisper again, ready to tell her everything I learned from my encounter with Hawk.

With every word I utter, I get a bitter taste in my mouth. It’s unpleasant and toxic.

It’s betrayal.