Chapter 19
Hawk
I don’t understand why I have this sudden urge to kiss Ruby on the mouth over and over. I never imagined that she would taste this good, or that I’d become addicted to the taste of her.
My tongue hungrily reaches for hers. Her words from earlier are echoing in my head. I want you, Hawk, she said. That was before Prez interrupted our little party. He also made sure to dampen the mood further more when he said in no certain words that not only Ruby has to die, but possibly me as well since I didn’t off her when I was ordered.
I have three hours before I have to be at the club for church, as directed by my president. Since it’ll take me forty-five minutes to get there, I plan on using the other two hours to enjoy my time with Ruby one more time.
Seeing how caring she is with my mother has made her so much more attractive to me. She has a good heart despite the fact that she’d been forced into the situation.
I pull back from the kiss, holding her small face into my hands. She looks young and innocent, the hardships of life haven’t affected her yet. I want to save her, like I promised her that I would when I asked her to stay here with my mother.
“Are you okay?” she whispers, bringing my attention back to her incredible lips.
“I will never be okay after tonight, babe.”
Her mouth trembles. “I love it when you call me babe.”
It is such a small thing, but it makes my heart skip a beat or two, while my brain is telling me that it will go to hell soon.
The off the shoulder top she has on exposes creamy skin that I am dying to touch. I press open mouthed kisses up and down the column of her neck while my hands search for the hem to pull it up. Once I find it, I gently yank it over her head, finding no bra. Her hair falls back on her shoulders, and she looks like a dream.
The leggings and thong she has on are easy to remove. Before long she is standing naked in front of me, looking slightly insecure. I find it endearing, considering she takes her clothes off for people.
“Undress me, babe,” I encourage her.
With trembling hands, she manages to push my cut down my arms. As if sensing that it is important, she bends over to pick it up, then folds it and places it on the nightstand.
Next, she helps me out of my t-shirt, undoes my jeans and boot laces, pulling everything off me. When she looks up at me, her eyes look filled with unshed tears.
I pick her up and gently place her on the bed that’s never been used since my mother moved into this suite. I guess Ruby could’ve slept in here, but she chose either the couch or to sleep next to my mother.
Her full breasts rise and fall with her now heavy breathing. I am momentarily distracted from my task as I remain froze at the side of the bed, staring at the perfection of her body. I finally snap out of it and kneel on the bed in between her legs.
I hover over her, dying for a taste of her lips again. After all the years of me not kissing a woman on the mouth, it is kind of ironic that I am breaking my streak with someone who I have no future with. In fact, after tonight, I might never see her again. That’s even if I am alive to think about it.
Ruby seems to be on the same page as me. Her small hands cup the back of my neck, lifting her head off the bed just enough to reach my mouth.
The hunger that takes over both of our bodies is combustible in its intensity. I want to do so many things to her body, and I want her mouth on other places of mine. But I can’t get enough of the intoxicating taste of her tongue. I don’t know if it is because she is the first woman I am kissing in so long, or if it is actually her causing this effect on me.
I fall to my side as I kiss her, my hand blindly looking for her breast. Its heaviness in my hand turns me on even more. I run the pad of my thumb over her engorged nipple, and then the other.
With much effort, I pull my head away, smiling when she tries to chase my mouth with hers. I rest on my elbows on each side of her and press my open lips to the middle of her chest. Her hands automatically go into my hair.
I run my tongue lower yet until I find myself in the middle of her magnificent tits. They are big and bouncy, and just the way I prefer them. I take one nipple in between my lips and suck as much as I can into my mouth, loving that no matter how hard I try, I can never get the entire thing in. I repeat the move over and over again, each time her hips lifting off the bed more.
She presses her chest up, encouraging me to continue. The only reason I stop is because I want to give her other one the same attention.
I love the sounds coming out of her as I do it all. And when I nip a little too hard, she yelps but never stops me.
My hand lowers down her body, with fingers searching for her heat, like a missile. I finally find her opening, and before I even touch her, I can tell that she is wet as fuck. I move my fingers in hypnotic circles around her opening while I am still sucking on her breasts.
Ruby’s fingers clutch at my hair. I love the way it hurts when she pulls hard. I continue teasing her like this, feeding off her obvious need for instant relief. I bring my soaked fingers to her nipples, and circle the areolas, with each pass getting closer to the center. When I finally touch it, it glistens with all her juices, making my mouth water.
I lower my mouth and grab the nipple in a long and hard suck, making sure I lick her clean. The gasp of pleasure escaping her mouth is all I need to know that she enjoys what I am doing just as much as I do.
Suddenly, I have to be inside of her. The need is too great to ignore. It’s either I do that, or I come into the sheets. Not feeling her walls spasming around my cock is not an option.
I lift myself over her, the tip close enough to feel the heat emanating from her entrance. I force myself to take it slow and be patient. Instant gratification is good, but there are too many regrets once it is over.
“I want you, Hawk,” Ruby whimpers.
She moves under me until her feet rest flat on the bed and her knees are cradling my hips. That is the only encouragement I need before finally surging into her.
“Yes,” we both moan at the same time.
The feeling of being inside of her is indescribable. I am well aware that my cock is bare, but I can’t bring myself to care about it. It’s too late now anyway. For one, there’s nothing that could rip me away from her right now. And for two, it will all be over soon enough.
My hips pump in and out of her, with each move, pushing her higher on the bed. I am out of breath and sweat runs down my forehead and drips onto her bare skin.
“Yes, Hawk,” she thrashes her head against the pillow. “This is so perfect,” she moans.
She opens her eyes and stares at me, signaling that she is close to coming. The look on her face is one of wonder and sadness. She is not ready for this to end either. But, just like it’s happening to me, her body betrays her. She squeezes me tighter and tighter until all I want to do is let go.
The pressure gathering at the base of my spine is suddenly too much. I don’t have the will to stop myself from coming. The thought of my cum spilling inside of her womb is what seals my fate. I drop my mouth over hers and finally let go right as I feel her coming as well.
We kiss until I have completely emptied myself inside of her. My hips still move of their own volition, but my body wants to rest. I pull my lips away, then rest my face into her neck. I love the feel of her legs wrapped around me, and I don’t want to forget this feeling for as long as I live.
“I think I love you.”
I freeze with my face against her tender skin, wondering how I should react. I’ve had hookers at the club telling me they loved me before, but it was only because they were looking to be an ol’ lady, have security within the club. None of them said it like Ruby just did.
Pretending like I never heard what she told me, I turn to my side, bringing her with me. Our legs are tangled and our chests touch with the heavy breathing coming from us both.
I rest my chin on her head and focus on a spot on the wall. The more I think about the situation I am in, the more I regret getting involved with her. Why couldn’t I have gone after the other stripper there? She would’ve been much easier to deal with. But I wasn’t as attracted to her, and Devereaux didn’t think she was a good fit. He specifically asked me to go for Ruby.
He thought he had all this information on her, but what he didn’t tell me was that she had a heart, one that would speak to mine. I hadn’t seen this coming at all.
My head is now telling me that if I have any chance to clear things up with my president, I have to kill her tonight, then take proof to him. I would still be in trouble with the club, but at least I would have followed his orders.
My heart is at war with that idea. This girl is the sweetest human I have ever encountered. I can’t get over the way she’s cared for my mother over the last few weeks, and how much progress she’s made with her.
I also can’t ignore the fact that I promised to help her if she did this for me. At the same time, I am a criminal, and my word only meant something when it was to my brothers in the club or my mother. Ruby was always meant to be collateral damage.
While I go over this, her words from a minute ago ring in my head.
I think I love you.
Hard to believe, but I think I love her, too. Kinda hard to tell for sure though. However, the thought of hurting a hair on her head is making my stomach churn in an unpleasant way.
I should ask Devereaux to help her, but he doesn’t strike me as the type of person who does things from the kindness of his heart. At the same time, he was dead-set on saving Arlene Knight and her son.
My president would not approve of this idea at all anyway. If my disobedience when it came to killing Ruby was not enough, me now actively seeking Devereaux to save Ruby would get me thrown out of the club for sure.
I try to think of what life would be without the club in my life. The thought is not pleasant at all. The brothers have been my family for as long as I can remember. Prez was always like a second father to me, especially after my own passed. He’s also been so supportive of my mother’s situation. He helped me find her the best care, then made sure I’d make enough money from the club to pay the monthly dues.
“Fuck,” I grunt when I realize that I need to leave. I’ve been laying here with Ruby for way too long.
As if she can sense what’s going on, she pushes herself away from me. In a quick move, she rolls off the bed and has her top over her head. Foregoing the thong I took off her earlier, she pulls the leggings up her legs. After that, she sits on the bed and watches me get dressed. The sadness on her face is almost palpable.
“Thank you for spending this time with me, Hawk,” she murmurs softy, just as always. “I really wish you’d reconsider me leaving safely. I have the money to support myself, and…”
Suddenly, I can’t deal with the thought of her not existing on this earth anymore, even if she is not with me. Reaching into my cut, I pull out one of the three burner phones I have in there. This one is brand new, never been used. I grab her hand and slap it into it.
“You can’t use your own phone to call anyone. They are most definitely tracking it.” I tell her. “Use this one. If you think you have anyone that can help you, get in touch with them.”
There is awe and fear on her face now. She did not expect for me to do a one eighty on her.
“You can’t ever come back here. You mentioned Louisiana before. You can’t go there. It’s too close to Texas.”
My eyes drop to the backpack I took from her apartment. Finding all that cash under her floorboards was stupid easy. It’s cute that she thought it was safe there.
“You have enough money to take a bus. Go west. California maybe. Or north to, I don’t fucking know, Minnesota or some shit. Anywhere but close to here, Ruby.”
Her eyes fill with tears again, and I can’t stand it.
“When should I leave?”
I run my hands through my hair in frustration.
“You should leave now,” I instruct. “I’ll sneak you out of here. I can give you a ride to the bus stop. I can’t any farther. They are waiting for me at the club.”
Her bottom lip trembles. “What about Mary?”
My mother will probably go back to being the way she was before Ruby came into her life. Hopefully, it will take her a few days to figure out her emotional support human is no longer here. I’ll just have to cross that bridge when I get to it.
“She’ll be alright,” I assure Ruby, lying through my teeth.
She looks at me like she doesn’t believe me, tears now running down and dripping off her wobbly chin. But we both know there is no other choice.
“Will I ever see you again?”
I sigh and cup the back of her head, pressing her face into my chest. I ache for this girl. If I survive tonight, I will never recover.
“I don’t think you will, sweetheart.”
This is probably the first time I am completely honest with her.
“Just know that I will never forget you. And I will always regret the fucking day when I agreed to this mission.”
Ruby’s arms come around my waist, and she squeezes me tight.
“I’m glad it was you, Hawk.”
I frown in confusion. “What do you mean?”
She shrugs and doesn’t lift her face from my chest.
“If you said no, they would’ve sent someone else, right? I don’t know that they would’ve been as nice to me as you have been.”
I chuckle at that, but only because she is smarter than I am. The thought never crossed my mind.
“I’m glad it was me then,” I squeeze her tighter. “Say a prayer for my mother as you travel, alright?”
She finally lets go of me. She takes a step back and wipes at her face, looking so much younger than her twenty-two years.
“I always will,” she promises me, fierceness lacing her tone.
I reach out and touch her on the top of her nose. “Good girl.”
She smiles but then moves around the room to grab the very few things she has in here.
“I’ll have to leave the clothes you bought me,” she says all choked up. “They won’t fit in the backpack with the money.”
I nod in understanding and bend over to lace my boots. Within minutes, we are both ready to leave. I’ve never felt this sad in my entire fucking life. It’s killing me inside that I have to send her away, and I don’t even know where she’s going.
When we walk out of the bedroom, she stops by my mother’s bed.
“Goodbye, Mary.” She kisses the tips of her fingers before touching them to my mother’s cheek. “I will never forget you. I love you.”
She straightens her shoulders and turns to face me, determination written all over her face.
“I’m ready.”
I nod and lead the way out of the building. It sucks that I’ll never be ready.