Chapter 11
Late October, 1871The Douglass HomeThomas
“Welcome, Thomas. Please, come in, and tell us all about your classes.” Harriet pulled Thomas in from the crisp morning air.
Warmth drew him in, both from the crackling fire and Harriet’s smile. “Thank you. I apologize for not visiting sooner. Classes are quite challenging.” Thomas removed his top hat and outer coat. He rubbed his hands together before offering one to Douglass.
Douglass gripped it. “Good to see you, friend. No apologies necessary for not getting by. Please, sit yourself down. I just made cocoa.”
“Cocoa? What’s the occasion? It looks like I’m interrupting something.” Bits and pieces of nutshells covered the table.
“Shelling shagbark nuts. Makes some good-tasting milk.” Douglass offered Thomas the chair and pulled the stool from under the table.
“I’ve not heard of shagbark nuts.” Thomas turned the smooth meat over in his palm, then popped a piece into his mouth. “Hickory?”
“Exactly.” Harriet swept her hand over the mess strewn across the table. “One of the best-tasting nuts but a pain to get out of the shell.”
Thomas reached for a hammer. “How can I help?”
Douglass covered his hand. “Oh, no, you don’t. You’re a guest.”
“I thought you said I was family.” Thomas winked at Harriet.
Douglass cocked his head, a look of acceptance on his face. “Fine. If you want to help, pick up the pieces I send flying and grind them in this here bowl while you tell us all about your first months of school.”
Thomas did as he was told, sorting through the chunks and bits of shell and nut meat, placing the larger pieces in a separate bowl. “There is so much to learn. The human body is fascinating. We spend most of our day in the classroom, then, once a week, we rotate in groups of four to follow doctors who are leaders in their specialty as each does his rounds. Dr. Whitaker isn’t the only talented physician in Philadelphia. All of my professors are. They each have so much knowledge, and I’m trying to soak it all in, but it’s hard. I’m thankful for Jimmy. He’s my study buddy.”
“Having a friend is important,” Harriet offered.
Thomas wanted to say how the other students seemed to see him as the country bumpkin and didn’t include him in most of their outside activities. Just this weekend, a group of them had gone to the opera. Not that he had the funds or the desire to dress up and sit through a performance in a language he didn’t understand. Thomas didn’t want to burden Douglass and Harriet, so he kept quiet.
“Is this Jimmy fellow a believer?”
It was just like Douglass to get to the important talk.
“We haven’t yet had that conversation. He loves plants, though, and I bet he could tell you all about the tree these came from.” Thomas turned the cream-colored shell in his hand.
“How about church? You being fed?” Douglass continued his questioning.
“Honestly? It’s not what I’m used to; that’s for certain. The preacher is a fine man and preaches the Word, but there’s something missing. It’s almost as if what a person wears and which row they sit in is more important than the condition of their heart.”
Douglass nodded. “You make certain you study the Bible as much as those textbooks, and your heart will stay fed.”
Harriet chimed in. “What about the boarding house? Are your accommodations suiting you all right?” She sounded like his mother, and he smiled.
“Yes, ma’am. I’ve enjoyed mealtime the most, and not just for the food I didn’t have to prepare but also for the conversation. I don’t have to think.” Thomas laughed. “The other evening, we had a scintillating discussion about knitting. The women proposed teaching the men, so we’d have something to keep our hands busy during the winter. Crazy enough, every single boarder agreed, in exchange for teaching the women card games. Mrs. Jones nearly had a conniption until the group promised no money would be involved and all activities would take place in the parlor with her present.”
Harriet’s laugh was deep and throaty, reminding him of Aunt Aideen. A pang of homesickness replaced the joy of the moment.
“Have you heard from home?” It was as if Douglass had read his mind.
Thomas shook his head. “I received two letters from home but expected to hear from Gabe by now. Not a word. They’re getting my mail—because my family wired me money when I realized I’d need more than I’d planned to purchase textbooks and equipment. I don’t want to be beholden to them, so I’m seeking employment. Any ideas?”
“Work? Son, when do you figure you’ll fit that in?”
“My Saturdays are mostly free, except for laundry.” Thomas watched unspoken words exchange between his friends through smiles and a wink, and he wished he understood this language.
Harriet pushed back her chair and wiped her hands on her apron. She pulled three mugs from the cabinet, stirred the pot on the stove, then used a dipper to pour dark liquid into each cup.
“Here you go.”
The mug was warm with sweet-smelling steam rising and calming his anxious heart. Douglass was right. Liquid sweetness melted in his mouth, reminding him again of home. He closed his eyes and thought of evenings spent in front of the fire drinking hot chocolate with his sisters.
“My mother can hardly boil water without burning it, but she makes the best hot chocolate. She always adds a pinch of cinnamon to it.”
“Now, that’s something I haven’t tried.” Harriet stood and pulled a cinnamon stick from the cabinet and a grater from the drawer. The smell of the spice mixed with the aroma of nuts and chocolate as it floated at the top of her mug. She gave it a swirl, then sipped. “Well, I do declare. Douglass, you’re going to like this.” She repeated the process for her husband, then offered some to Thomas.
“Might be my new favorite drink,” Douglass said. “You’ll have to let your mother know you shared her recipe. So, you’re looking for work?”
Thomas watched an unspoken exchange again. “Yes, sir. I figure I have more time now than I will later in my studies.”
“Pardon my forthright question, but is there something you’re needing to purchase, or are you struggling to make ends meet with your rent?”
“A little of both. I want to do this on my own, and I’ll need to purchase books each semester, along with a few other things. I don’t want to choose between having a place to lay my head and having to borrow, rather than purchase a medical book I want to keep for future reference.”
Thomas need not be ashamed in front of his friends. His family had the money, but he didn’t want to rely on them for everything like his fellow students did. When he’d said he wanted to earn his degree to become a doctor, he’d meant both the hard work and the funds needed. It was important for him to do this one thing on his own.
“Well, me and Harriet were discussing this very thing the other day. It won’t make you money, but it will save you time and sure would help us out.”
“I’m listening.” Thomas brushed the shell crumbs from in front of him and placed his mug on the table.
“Harriet here has forbidden me from getting on our roof, and we have some repairs needed. I can’t rightly afford to hire someone to do the work, but I can get the needed materials. We could knock it out in a day if I served as your helper while you did the work. In exchange, Harriet will do your laundry.”
“That’s mighty generous, but I don’t see how that will help me pay my bills.”
“It won’t, but working for the judge will. He’s needing someone to fill in until Josiah’s leg heals. I told Judge I knew just the man. It’s mucking stalls and caring for the horses, but it’s early morning every Saturday, and you’d still have your afternoons free to study.”
“And I’ll do your laundry with ours if that’s all right with you,” Harriet added.
Douglass smiled at his wife. “Now, it’s not permanent, but I can pick you up on my way to the judge’s house. I know you’re skilled with horses, though not much skill needed in mucking stalls.”
Thomas didn’t have to think hard. He missed his horse and the physical labor he was used to. Already, his hands were softening. “I’ll take you up on your offers. When do I start? Do I need to speak with the judge?”
“You let me handle the details. As for the roof, how does now sound?” Douglass winked. “I’ve already got the supplies.”
It felt good to laugh. Thomas swirled the remaining liquid in his cup as if he was considering the request. The cooled chocolate was just as good as when it was piping hot. He placed the mug down and looked at Harriet.
“Today I’m working in exchange for laundry, but how will I pay you for the other weeks?”
Now it was Harriet’s turn to let out a low chuckle. “Thomas, my man’s been doing both his and Josiah’s job for two weeks. Trust me. If he can come home and not be bone-weary, I count it fair trade for doing your laundry.”
It may not be much, but it was a step in the right direction. Thomas felt the excitement of getting his hands dirty and breaking a sweat with hard labor. “It’s a deal.” He offered his hand to his friend. “And thank you.”
“My pleasure. Let’s get to work.”
The men pulled the supplies and tools from the shed. Thomas climbed the ladder and thanked the Lord for clear skies and a slight breeze. Not having to climb up and down the ladder saved time, and the two worked together efficiently.
Thomas surveyed his work. His knees and back ached, but it felt good. He rubbed his forearm. It’d been a while since he’d swung a hammer.
Douglass called, “Only five shingles left. Will that be enough?”
“Save those for another day. I’m done here.” Thomas started down the ladder. He’d be sore tomorrow, but the anxiety and stress he’d felt at the beginning of the day were gone, replaced with the satisfaction of a job well done.
“Thank you, Thomas. Let’s clean this up, then I’ll take you home. You don’t need to be walking now that it’s getting close to sunset.”
Thomas carried the ladder and lifted it to where it hung above the shed door. Everything in the small space was as neat as Harriet’s kitchen. He wouldn’t need much room when he opened his clinic back home if he built shelving like this to keep his storeroom orderly.
The familiar pang of missing home settled in his gut. Every time he learned something new, he wanted to share his excitement with his best friend but knew it would only hurt Gabe more deeply than he already was.
Thomas said a silent prayer that Gabe was enjoying his metallurgy studies and able to juggle that with working in the mines and the farm. He reminded himself he’d given Gabe to the Lord, but as Thomas stepped from the shed into the waning light of evening, he knew Gabe would rarely see the same, being deep in the earth or in the classroom during both sunrise and sunset.
Douglass closed the door and stood beside Thomas. “You want to pray about what’s on your mind?”
Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose. How did this man know the inner workings of his heart? “Maybe you should be the one in medical school. You’re pretty good at diagnosing a problem.”
“I just read people, and I’m guessing what you’re feeling is more than just missing your family. How about we talk on the ride back?” Douglass placed his warm hand on Thomas’s shoulder. “Let me say a quick goodbye to my bride, and we’ll head to the livery.”
They walked in silence down the street and borrowed a small carriage. The clip-clop of the horses’ hooves on stone kept time with Thomas’s heartbeat.
“You don’t have to share, but if you need to get something off your chest, I’m all ears.”
Thomas knew he could tell Douglass anything, but he wasn’t sure what was really bothering him. “I’m not certain I know. Finances are weighing on me, but God has provided for all my needs, and your generous offer is an example of His faithfulness. My classwork is challenging, but I’m applying myself and studying hard. We haven’t been told ranking yet, but I believe I’m doing well. I’ve made friends at the boarding house—and Jimmy at school.” Thomas quieted.
“No lady friends?”
Brown eyes and chestnut hair swirled in his vision. He expelled a breath and shook his head to clear the swirling image of the woman from his mind and regain focus before reluctantly confessing that he had no time for a special lady friend. “No, sir. No time for that.”
“Mm-hmm. What about your classmates? Are you fitting in?”
Thomas released another deep sigh. He didn’t fit in. “I’m thankful for the suits your wife made for me. That’s helped, but I can’t compete with generations of Philadelphia’s gentry. To be honest, I’m not sure I want to. I came here for an education, so I could return home and help the people of Shumard Oak Bend. I care little about which fork to use or words to say in particular settings. It’s as if my classmates know all the right answers to questions I’d never care to ask.”
Douglass’s laugh caused the horse to sidestep. “Whoa, fella. Sorry about that.”
Thomas couldn’t tell if he was speaking to him or the horse. “I try to be a part of their conversations, but most of the time, I don’t have a clue what or who they’re talking about. I’ve found it easier to be quiet. Unfortunately, that means they haven’t gotten to know me—the real me.”
“’And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.’ That first part of Romans 12 is all you need to worry about, son. You focus on being who God designed you to be, and don’t worry about meeting the expectations of the upper crust.”
The horse slowed, and Thomas looked over to see light shining from the front window of the boarding house. The stress he’d let go of while working on the roof returned. He ran his hands over his thighs and pushed on his knees.
“Thomas, you be you.” Douglass’s firm tone pulled Thomas back to the conversation.
“I don’t fit in here.” Thomas sounded like a small child.
“Paul is clear and tells us not to chase pleasure, possessions, or status. There’s no need to be like everyone else or fit in with Philadelphia society. Paul encourages us to be transformed, not by what we wear or what we say but by how we think. You don’t need to fit in to be in the center of God’s will. You keep doing what you’re doing, and God will bless your efforts.”
Thomas nodded and stepped down from the carriage.
Douglass tipped his hat. “I’ll stop by on my way to the judge’s next Saturday and give you a lift. Be ready at half past six. Oh, and remember your laundry. I’ll take it home and return it to you Sunday after I drop the judge and his family back home after service.”
“Thank you.” Thomas meant the words for much more than he could express and hoped his friend understood the depth of the sentiment.