Chapter 15
Susan forced a cheery tone into her words as she carried a little tray bearing thenow-made cups of coffee into the sitting room. “Here we are. Sorry it took a while.”
Opal smiled, looking from her to Ifor—who’d entered the room just after her—and back again. “Oh, now, I’m not the only one who enjoys your company, I know that!”
Susan placed the tray on the wooden table in the middle of the room, close to where Opal was seated. She doubted that Ifor liked being inher company as much as she liked being in his.
She swept a strand of hair out of her face. Their exchange in the kitchen had disconcerted her, and she was terrified of looking into his eyes again. He knew she was covering something up—she could tell. But she couldn’t ever tell himabout John Murphy. He’d never want anything to do with her ever again if he knew what her life had been like back home. All the dreadful things she’d done.
She handed Opal a cup.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. No one had called her that since she was little. At least, not with any sincerity.
She rubbed her wrist. They both hurt, but her left one was the worst.
Ifor moved closer, lifting a cup from the tray. She didn’t realize she was holding her breath until her lungs started to burn.
She lifted her own cup and sat on a chair opposite Opal’s. Ifor was in one off to Opal’s right. She allowed her gaze to meander to him, and she noticed dusty patches on his clothes. He must’ve come here straight from the mine. But as far as she was aware, his house was in town, whereas Opal’s was right at the edge. He would’ve passed his house on the way here. And yethe hadn’t gone home to change.
Opal talked on, but Susan struggled to focus on what she was saying. Ifor’s presence was a distraction, and John Murphy’s threats still rang in her ears.
Just remember what I said, young Susie. I’ll be watching you. And I’ll be making sure you do what you’re told.
She shuddered. What would it take for her to finally be free of the man? He’d followed her halfway around the world and made it clear he had no intention of leaving her alone to build a new life. She never should’ve written to her aunt and shared her new address. But she never thought her aunt would’ve been so unwise as to give it to her father. Nor did she imagine that he would’ve come all this way to find her.
Sorrow tightened her throat. All she wanted was to be free.
Ifor stood and placed his cup back on the tray. “Well, I wish I could stay longer, but I’d better get home and start making dinner.”
“Aw, well, thank you so much for stopping by. It’s always lovely to see you, dear.” Opal threw her hand out toward him and he moved closer and kissed the top of it.
How kind this man was. How gentle. He was thecomplete opposite of John Murphy. Of her da. Of any other man she’d ever known.
He glanced up at her, and the disappointment that he was leaving grew almost unbearable.
“Goodbye, Miss Kelly.” He hesitated, and she could read his unspoken words in his eyes. He was worried about her.
Her heart thrummed with fear and sadness. “Goodbye, Mr. Morgan.”
“See you tomorrow, maybe... If you are here?”
“I should be,” she said with a nod.
“All right, then. See you tomorrow.” He paused. “Take care, now.” The look in his eyes was ardent, urgent, though his tone was light.
She only nodded, afraid thather voice wouldbetray her.
A moment later, he was gone.
“Such a lovely young man,” Opal said.
“Yes.” Susan drew a deep breath. Why did his absence ache so much?
Get with it, Susan. You’ve got work to do here.
“So... How did you find church, now that you’ve had time to think about it?” Opal’s expression and tone were friendly. Genuine.
“I...I liked it.” Though, she still didn’t feel like she fit in.
“Will we be seeing you there again this week?” Opal’s eyebrows raised hopefully, along with her intonation.
“Yes.”
“Now, it’s entirely up to you, dear. I’m not trying to be pushy or anything.” Clearly Opal sensed her hesitation.
“Oh. No, you’re not being pushy at all. And I want to go back, I do. I suppose Ijust feel a bit...out of place there.”
Opal’s eyebrows shot up. “Out of place? At church? Why, church is for everyone. It’s the one place that everyone can belong.”
Belonging. That was it... That was what she didn’t have. Not with her family, nor in her home country. Not even here. Although...
Ifor’s face flashed into her mind. Why had the word ‘belonging’ made her think of him?
“You know,” Opal continued. “Jesus loves you, Susan. He wants you to love Him, too. And with Him, you’ll never have to feel out of place ever again.”
She swallowed. Opal’s words were so full of conviction and sincerity.
But how could Jesus love someone like her?
Opal smiled, then sipped her coffee.“You have doubts, I can tell. But He’s big enough to deal with every doubt you bring His way.”
She didn’t know what to say. Question after question bounced in her heart, but each time she tried to voice any of them, nothing came.
She simply forced a smile, then brushed her skirts with her hands. “I suppose I’d better get your chores done.”
Opal paused, observing her. Reading her. Her expression altered instantly, a huge grin lighting her countenance. “Honestly,I cannot thank you enough for agreeing to help me. I was beginning to think I’d have to advertise, and I wasn’t too fond of the idea of a total stranger swooping in to run the place!”
Susan hesitated. “But...aren’t I a total stranger?”
Opal chuckled. “Well, now—anyone Ifor thinks highly of is good enough for me! And certainly not a stranger... Just a new friend I’m still getting to know.”
It would seem she hadn’t done a very good job of hiding her surprise at Opal’s words, for the older lady let out a loud laugh. “Oh, now, don’t try to tell me you don’t think just as highly of him!”
Susan gaped. “I...”
Opal’s eyes softened as she leaned forward. “I used to be considered something of a matchmaker, you know. But I can see that neither of you need any persuasion. Only a little more time.” Her eyes sparkled as she leaned back and sipped her coffee.
Susan’s heart sank. Even if Ifor was fond of her as more than a friend—which she highly doubted—she was no good for him. The whole idea that there could ever be anything between them was as unreachable as Ireland was from Lone Pine.
Her heart aching under that truth, she turned and headed for the kitchen. Stopping in the doorway, she looked at Opal. “What would you like me to start with?”
Opal listed a few chores, a wistful—almost melancholy—look in her eyes.
Susan nodded. “Grand. I’ll go and get on with it.”
As she baked bread and dusted the furniture, she couldn’t stop thinking about all that Opal had said. Each thought only served to raise a myriad of questions.
Why would Jesus love someone like her when there were far better people out there— people who hadn’t deceived others or hurt them like she had?
And what made Opal so certain that, in time, she and Ifor could ever be together—more than mere acquaintances, more thanfriends?
Each time hope crept into her heart, the image of John Murphy broke in and stomped it out. It was no use. She could never be loved by Jesus—or Ifor. Not if they could seewho she really was.
The afternoon passed along quicker than she’d expected—than she’d hoped. All too soon, it was time to bid Opal farewell for the day.
And go back there.
Home. How little it felt like it, now.
“That’s me, Opal. It’s all done for you.”
“My, my. Already? You’re an efficient one, aren’t you!”
Susan smiled at Opal’s surprise. “I’ll come back tomorrow—at the proper time, mind. I’m sorry again that I was so late today.”
Opal waved her hand, shaking her head at the same time. “Now, now, I don’t want to hear another word about it. I’m just glad of your help and your company, no matter what time of day it is.”
And she was glad of Opal’s, too. More than the old lady could ever know.
“Is there anything you’d like me to bring tomorrow? Anything you need me to pick up in town?”
Opal thought about it for a moment, then named a few items from the mercantile.
“Oh! And before I forget, your money’s on the table in the hallway. Be sure to pick it up on your way out. I thought at my age it probably makes more sense to pay you every day.”
Susan hesitated. “Oh. Thank you, Mrs. Gray.”
Opal gave her a mock-scolding look. “Opal.”
“Opal. Thank you. But I still feel bad taking money at all. I’m happy to help?—”
“Now, now, that was the deal. And as the Bible says, the laborer is worth his wage. Just make sure you take it with you, all right?”
“All right. Thank you, Opal. Honestly. Thank you very much.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, dear.” She smiled, hesitating a little. “And, don’t forget what I said. Jesus already loves you. That’s why He died—for you, for me. We don’t have to live without Him—here, or in eternity. Even though all people have done since He created them is kick dust in His face, He still loves us. It’s a Father’s love. He has to discipline us when we do wrong, but He’d much rather we did what we were told and enjoyed His love. And He loves us enough that He took our place. Died so we could live.” She smiled. “It’s the most wonderful love story in all of history. And, even more so, because it’s true.”
A father’s love... She didn’t know what that was like. Not the way it was supposed to be. Was God anything like her father? The rest of what Opal had said... God’s love actually moved Him to, to?—
“He took our place?”
Opal nodded. “Mm-hm. On the cross.” She shifted in her seat a little. “You see, He created a perfect world. But after He made people, well... it didn’t stay perfect for very long! And now each of us is born with that same rebelliousness inside us. And it comes out in all kinds of ways. Not everyone tends to be drawn to the same sinning. For some, they can’t stop lying, for others it’s hatred, or greed, or lust. Oh, there’s just about a million ways to sin against God. But here’s the amazing part. God could’ve easily wiped people out because all they did was sin against Him all day. Well, He did, in a way—with the Flood, but I mean He could’ve wiped us all out completely, and not left a single soul alive on the face of the earth. But He made us, and He loves us, so He had a plan. Instead of us all facing the consequences for our sins—because He’s a God of justice, remember, and there has to be punishment for all the wrongdoing, just like we have here with earthly laws—well, instead of sending us to Hell—which we deserve, mind you, which would’ve been only too fair—He paid the price instead. That’s why Jesus died on that cross. To pay the debt that we racked up with our sin. And to make a way for us to be cleansed of it, and forgiven. Set free. All because He loves us more than we can even fathom.” A peaceful smile sealed her words.
Set free. Cleansed. Forgiven. Surely those things could never apply to her, though. Could they?
After a few silent moments, she bade Opal goodbye, gathered her things, and left.
As she trudged back into town, her mind replayed Opal’s words. But as she drew closer and closer to her house, dread gripped her gut. Would John Murphy be there, waiting? Would he hurt her again? And her father... Opal had said that God’s love was like a father’s love. But not all parents loved their children the way they were supposed to. She was proof of that.
She drew a deep breath as she tried to convince herself tofocus on the fact that she’d be back at Opal’s house the next day. And Ifor would be there.
See you tomorrow, he’d said.
But as she walked back to the house that no longer felt like home,tomorrow had never seemed so far away.