Heartbreaker (Havenbrook #3)

Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

MAC

A zombie had more energy than I did, even after two cups of coffee. I’d slept like shit last night, lying awake until three in the morning, my mind whirring over what had happened at Hudson’s. And then when I’d finally fallen asleep, my dreams had been plagued by the same thing.

His lips on mine, his tongue sweeping into my mouth, and his cock, so hot and hard, pressing against my belly. His hand on my ass, tugging me closer. Rocking into me, insistent and needy… I’d wanted nothing more than to strip right there in his kitchen, hop up on the counter, and hold him prisoner with my legs.

My phone rang from its perch next to me on the couch, Will’s picture flashing on the screen. Well, this would be interesting. I hadn’t kept a secret from my sister in…well, ever. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell her what had happened yesterday, lest she get any grand ideas of a romantic reunion.

“Hello?”

“Hey, so I know we already decided on the bouquets for the wedding, but what’re your thoughts on peonies instead of hydrangeas? I think it might?—”

“I kissed Hud.” I sank back into the couch cushions and slapped a hand to my forehead. And that was exactly why I didn’t keep secrets from my sister. I couldn’t . They just spilled forth like water from a breaking dam.

Silence swept over the line for long moments. Then Will said, “Pardon me?”

“Dammit, I wasn’t gonna tell you that.”

“I see that worked out real well for you. Now, spill.”

I rested my head against the back cushions and blew out a deep breath. “Yesterday. While we were supposed to be bakin’ pies. We kissed.”

“You…kissed.”

“ Fine , so we made out for a solid fifteen minutes, and he definitely got to second base, and I’m three-thousand-percent certain we would’ve had sex right there on the kitchen floor if Caleb hadn’t walked in. This is bad, Will. Really fucking bad.”

“What did y’all do when he walked in?”

“Jerked away from each other like a couple of teenagers getting caught by their parents. And then I made up a lame excuse and ran.”

So that was what I was now—an almost twenty-eight-year-old runner. A scaredy-cat who was too afraid of the what-ifs and unknowns to venture down that path with Hudson again. I had enough failures under my belt, thank you very much. I certainly didn’t need to add this one to the list.

“Well.” Willow cleared her throat. “Hmmm.”

“What’s the hum for?”

“Nothing!” Will said too fast. “Nothing. Um…”

“Just say it. You know you will. Might as well do it now and get it done with.”

“I’m gonna ask a question, and I want you to really think about it before you go blurtin’ out an answer, all right?”

I rolled my eyes but didn’t respond. I wasn’t going to agree to anything. Not before I knew exactly what my sister was up to.

“Would it really be so bad?” Will asked.

“What? Kissin’ him? Sleepin’ with him? No, I’m pretty sure it’d be amazin’ and would ruin me for all other men. Again.”

“Then I don’t see the problem.”

I released a frustrated growl. “I know you’re not this dense, Will. He’s leavin ’. We’ve got less than three weeks, and then he’ll be off to—shit, I don’t even know where he’s supposed to be next. Or when his next deployment is. Or how long he’s plannin’ to stay in the army. Or how long he’ll be away from Havenbrook.”

“Maybe those are things y’all should talk about.”

Probably. Except, no. I couldn’t do that. The truth was, I was scared to death of the answers—whatever they may be.

What if his answer wasn’t what I hoped it’d be? What if it was, but I still managed to screw it up? No, I’d definitely rather bury my head in the sand and go on in blissful ignorance than have a mature, adult conversation about this stuff.

“Or maybe you just throw caution to the wind and do it anyway,” Will said.

I breathed out a disbelieving laugh. “You do remember what happened the last time I did that, right?”

My sister was quiet for several moments. So long that I pulled the phone away from my ear to see if the call had dropped.

Finally, she said, “I had almost this same conversation with Avery, you know. Back when I didn’t know if Finn was stayin’ in Havenbrook for good, but I couldn’t dismiss the chemistry between us anymore.”

“Let me guess—she told you to get your freak on and rack up those O’s while you could.”

Will laughed. “Not exactly. She told me tryin’ is better than regrettin’. While it might end and it might hurt, none of that pain would compare to a lifetime of regret.”

Her words pierced my chest, burrowing into me so deep, I could feel them in my bones. I’d lived with regret. Every day for the past ten years, I’d regretted my actions. Wondered if things would’ve been different for us if we’d kept seeing each other. Or if we’d confessed our feelings a few months prior. Or if I’d kept in touch. Or if I’d taken him up on the half-dozen offers he’d sent me to fly to where he was stationed so we could see each other.

Yeah, I’d been living with a lifetime of regrets, and I still felt the pain. So maybe my sister was onto something.

My phone buzzed with an incoming text, and I pulled it away to see a message from Edna.

Edna:

You feel like keeping me company today? I could use an alibi.

Oh shit.

“Will, I gotta go. Edna’s ’bout to do something to Earl.”

“I don’t have time to go to the police station today, Mackenna, so y’all better not get into trouble!”

“That was one time. And it was all her!”

“I’m just sayin’. I’ve got too much stuff piled up at work. Daddy’s been out of the office more than usual with appointments, so I’m playin’ catch up. Be good. And think about what I said.”

Before I could respond, she called out a quick, “Love you!” and hung up.

And yeah…I was going to pass on the whole thinking about what Will said thing. I wasn’t quite ready for that—not when I could still taste Hudson on my lips, feel him against my body. Nope, I definitely didn’t need to spend any more time today in my head. What I needed was a distraction, and my seventy-year-old cohort was the perfect person to provide it.

Mac:

What nefarious things do you have planned, and do I need to be worried?

Almost immediately, the bubbles popped up, indicating Edna was typing her response.

Edna:

Earl’s getting breakfast with Betty Jo, so I’m gonna turn off his AC and leave a dead squirrel under his bed. We’ll see how the ladies like that…

Oh Lord, that woman was on a mission to a) make her ex-husband’s life pure hell and/or b) get herself arrested. Looked like my day had just been booked. I’d keep Edna out of jail, and in turn, Edna would keep my mind off Hudson. Win-win.

Mac:

Pick me up in 5.

I ran upstairs, brushed my teeth, and threw my hair into a messy topknot. I yanked on jeans and a tank, then topped it with a flannel in deference to the chill that had finally settled over Havenbrook.

I flew out the door just as Edna’s mail truck came barreling down the gravel driveway.

She screeched to a stop, dust billowing up around her, and called out the window, “Hurry up, honey! We don’t have a lotta time before that old fool’s gonna be back home.”

I slid into the seat and buckled my seat belt as fast as humanly possible. I’d ridden with Edna enough times to know exactly what kind of driver she was—like she was a seventy-year-old woman who wasn’t getting any younger and had shit she wanted to do. In this case, fuck with her ex-husband turned frenemy with benefits.

“What’d Earl do now?”

“Stood me up last night for our standing weekly evenin’ plans.” Edna shot me a look over her sunglasses, her eyebrows waggling for emphasis in case I didn’t catch the suggestive note dripping from her tone.

“Did you check in on him? Maybe he wasn’t feeling well.”

“And this mornin’, he just happens to be out to breakfast with Betty Jo?” She snorted. “I was born at night, but not last night. Besides, you think I didn’t hear five times before eight this mornin’ exactly what he’d gotten up to?”

“He needs to find better friends who don’t narc on his every move.”

“It’ll never happen. I brought my friends into our too-damn-long marriage, and I kept every last one of ’em when I left his annoyin’ ass.”

“Annoyin’, is he? Then how come you’re still seein’ him?”

She sniffed. “A woman has needs, Mac. And I know you don’t like hearin’ this, but Earl is pack?—”

“Tell me about this dead squirrel,” I cut in. “And let’s maybe talk about something else constructive we could do today instead of committin’ a felony such as breaking and entering.”

Edna cackled. “Where’s the fun in that?”

I sighed. “Okay, here’s the deal—I promised Will we wouldn’t end up at the police station again, so I’m gonna need us to do something that won’t get us arrested.”

With a glance in my direction, Edna shook her head in disappointment. “You’re the oldest twenty-seven-year-old I’ve ever met, I swear.”

“You’re the youngest seventy-year-old I’ve ever met, so I guess we’re a good pair. And don’t think I don’t notice you drivin’ straight for Earl’s. Turn it around, Edna. Find us something else.”

She sniffed. “I suppose I could be persuaded to pause my revenge. For the right currency, of course.”

“What do you want this time, old woman?”

“You could tell me about lockin’ lips with our very own hometown hero yesterday.”

I gasped and snapped my gaze to Edna. “How’d you hear about that?”

A slow smile swept over Edna’s mouth. “You just told me. Guess this old woman got one past you, didn’t she?” She laughed, slapping her hand on the steering wheel.

“I hate you.”

Edna reached over and patted my knee. “We both know that’s not true. You love me. Now, how about you tell me about Hudson and his kissin’ skills? And don’t skimp on the details. I’d be happy to give the boy some pointers if he needs ’em.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “Don’t you think you’re a little old for him?”

“Not even a little bit, honey. Not even a little bit.”

The irony in my choosing to go with Edna to avoid thinking about Hudson was not lost on me. I wasn’t sure which was worse—being forced into it by my obnoxiously-in-love sister who only wanted the same for everyone around her, or by my always-in-heat senior BFF.

I didn’t need anything fanning the flames of lust I had for Hudson. And I certainly didn’t need to fall in love with him again, especially knowing the kind of love we had was once in a lifetime. Heap ten years of want onto an already smoldering pile of desire, and yeah… I’d pass on that risk, thanks.

“Did you know he runs a circuit around Havenbrook every mornin’? If I time my route just right, I cross paths with him three times.” Edna shimmied her shoulders. “And if I’m real lucky, he’s shirtless for at least two of ’em.”

I slowly turned my head and stared at Edna, who just shrugged in response, completely unrepentant in her lust for a man forty years her junior. Though I certainly couldn’t blame her. Hudson was a damn fine specimen—there was no arguing that.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook the thoughts from my head. I absolutely did not need to have sex fantasies about Hudson and all the things he could do to me while I was trapped in a car with Edna.

“I did not know that,” I said, my voice tight. “Speakin’ of your route, spill the tea.”

If there was one thing Edna loved more than attractive men, it was gossip.

“It’s been a fruitful day already, can’t lie to you there. Let’s see… I heard Hudson’s single. No serious—or not-so-serious—girlfriends waitin’ in the wings. I also heard he’s been helpin’ out at The Sweet Spot with the demolition.” She shot me a grin. “Also shirtless.”

I blew out a frustrated breath and rolled my eyes. “All right, you perv. Did you hear anything that doesn’t have to do with Hudson or him bein’ half naked?”

“Well, sure, but those things aren’t as fun.” She grinned and shot me a wink. “’Course you know about Earl and Betty Jo.” Edna cut off, mumbling something about getting that squirrel into his house one way or another. “Timothy DeBoer was awful far from home this mornin’—and awful close to his ex-girlfriend’s place. Also saw your daddy leavin’ the clinic. He looked fit as a fiddle, but have you talked to your momma lately? Things goin’ okay over there?”

I furrowed my brow. I’d just spoken to my momma yesterday, but she hadn’t mentioned anything about it. “Probably just a man cold. He turns into such a baby, I swear.”

Edna snorted. “Been like that his whole life, from what your gran tells me.”

The morning had, indeed, been fruitful, because Edna spent the next two hours filling me in on the comings and goings of the dear residents of Havenbrook while we delivered today’s mail.

“We about done?” I asked, glancing at the bin that held the mail yet to be delivered.

“Almost,” Edna said, snapping a mailbox closed. “Just have to head up to Havenbrook Lake.”

My stomach somersaulted at the mention of the lake where I’d spent so much of my childhood. Hudson’s family had a cabin on it, and we’d whiled away huge swaths of our summers there.

A barrage of memories overcame me—races down the dock to see who could jump the farthest into the lake. Paddleboarding. Lazing in the hammock. Early morning fishing trips. Hundreds of games of hide-and-seek and too many bets to count.

We’d had two fights our entire lives, and they’d both happened at the cabin. The first had been almost twenty years ago, when Hudson had been playing with the marble my grandfather had given me before he’d died and then managed to drop it in the lake. He’d spent hours looking for it until his skin was wrinkled and pruny, but it’d been lost forever.

He’d made it his mission from that point forward to atone for his mistake, using his allowance to buy me a new marble whenever he could. Even now, all these years later, I ignored the flip of my stomach when I received a package from Hudson, sent from wherever he was stationed around the world and filled with two things—a short note and a marble. I had every color of the rainbow now, not to mention about two dozen tiger’s-eye marbles like the one from my granddad.

And if I happened to keep every one of the notes tucked away in a box in the back of my closet, well… No one ever had to know.

Our second fight had been the weekend when everything had changed. When he’d told me he’d been keeping a secret from me for months and that he was enlisting. When all my plans shifted and my entire life’s trajectory went off course.

The cabin also held the not-so-innocent memories—our first kiss. Rounding the bases. Losing our virginity to each other. And then the weekend of our last fight, when we’d made up by getting lost in each other’s bodies.

This was the last place I should be now. Especially with Hudson’s kiss fresh on my mind and my lips.

I opened my mouth to tell Edna we needed to turn around. That I had an appointment I’d forgotten about or that I was about to pee my pants and needed a bathroom, stat. Something— anything —to get me the hell out of there.

But before I could say anything, the car sputtered and then died.

Directly in front of Hudson’s cabin.