Heartless Legacy (Heartless Heirs of Canyon Falls #4)

29. Thea

Chapter 29

Thea

I ’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m okay. Trying to force myself to act like everything’s normal, but it’s not. I passed out last week, after unloading my shit onto Deacon and barfing up what little food I had on my stomach. I’m surprised he didn’t ask for separate accommodations after I told him I think I’m going crazy and freaked out about him touching me.

He’s been giving me space, sleeping on the couch. I appreciate the gesture even though it won’t help with my chronic insomnia. It’ll probably take moving to a deserted island to make me feel comfortable enough to close my eyes ever again.

I’m still not sure I can trust myself and what I’m experiencing, but maybe if I filter information through something other than my immediate surroundings, it will help. If this is real, then I need to figure out what’s going to happen next for me. Can I stay on this ship indefinitely? I’ve been missing for four months. Malcolm told me nobody missed me, that everyone moved on. Now, I need to know exactly what that means.

“Tell me what I’ve missed.” I say, sliding into an empty seat across from Wolfe.”

“What do you want to know?”

I shrug. “Everything. Nothing.” I start with the people who have a habit of ignoring my existence. “Moira and Scott? Did they look for me?”

“They made some inquiries, but after a few weeks, they stopped.” He watches my reaction before continuing. “They think you ran from The League, and from what I hear, your agreement was to never contact them if you did.”

“It was.” I shove a cracker in my mouth, chewing slowly. “So, is that the consensus around town? That I ran away?”

“That’s the messaging The League put out. The school’s listed you as withdrawn from enrollment.”

“And my friends believe that?”

“Thea, there’s convincing evidence that you would have wanted a fresh start somewhere else.”

I do. “Why now? After the shit I put up with all year, why would I just pick up and go now?”

“The legacy families have been denouncing your behavior from the beginning. League members jumped at the chance to label you as unaligned.”

Malcolm probably led the smear campaign. “Why didn’t you believe it?”

He holds my gaze as he says, “Who says I didn’t?”

“You’re here. So…”

“I figured it was a possibility you took off, but I wasn’t about to let you do it without saying goodbye to me. Then Sasha-”

I straighten in my seat. “Sasha? You talked to her?”

He nods. “When three days passed without you answering your phone, I called and asked if she’d heard from you. She told me any escape plan you had included mandatory check-ins, and you missed your first one.”

I blink back the moisture in my eyes. I knew it. I knew that if anyone would think some foul shit went down, it would be her. “Is Canyon Falls still standing?”

His brows furrow. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

There’s no way to answer that without giving up too much information. “Because um… Sasha tends to get a little destructive when she’s working.”

“The town is still intact. I guess her work didn’t reach our neck of the country yet.”

“So everyone just moved on? For everyone other than you and Sasha, my disappearance meant nothing?”

“I can’t say how other people felt, Thea. I wasn’t in the headspace to check in on their feelings, because I was so caught up in mine. LJ cried and harassed me for weeks, but her family obligations ramped up over the summer and she stopped coming to the gym. Tank and the rest of the guys noticed you were missing, but stopped commenting when I threatened to rip their heads off. Tank took over training while I was out looking for you. I already told you Sasha and I were working together. Who else do you need to know about? The Trium?” He spits out the word. “Word around campus is that they’re the reason you left, so I didn’t give a fuck about how they were feeling , and I sure as shit didn’t waste my time asking.”

We fall silent, because what can I say about that? After a while, I ask about Connor and Austin.

“They took off for football camp as soon as the semester ended.”

“Then I guess Malcolm was right. Everyone moved on with their lives.”

“Moved on?” He scoffs, “Thea, I forced a secret spy organization to give me access to their system so I could find you.”

“Forced?”

“Fine, I charged them for my services, and the currency was the use of their systems for thirty days, so I could find you.”

“Now that you’re here, on a scale of one to ten, how disappointed are you?”

“In you for trying to cover up your trauma or because you’re trying to push me away?”

“I’m not trying to push you away.” I grumble. “I just can’t let you get close. Physically.”

He sighs. “When have I ever made you think our relationship was purely physical? We’ve been here before, Thea. My dick won’t fall off while I’m waiting for you to deal with touch again.”

“You’ve gotta be tired of this.” I mutter, “I know I am.”

“The situations we keep finding ourselves in? You’re damn right I’m tired of it, but that’s not a reflection of how I feel about you. I’ll never get tired of you. Now if you want to end things because you don’t want me, or because of my family’s history with yours, or my ties to this place or The League, just say so.”

“I don’t wanna end things. I’ll never get tired of you, either.” I might not know shit else about myself right now, but I know that.

“I’m happy to hear that. For everything else, we’ll come up with a plan and deal with it.”

The coastline comes into view as the ship slowly makes its way to port. A few days ago, Alexz announced we’d be pulling into port to trade out seventy-five percent of the crew. The next batch will float for three months, then swap out with a crew in Italy. He says the rotation keeps everyone alert and excited about doing the job.

We’re docking in Oregon, then flying to the west coast base for the Phoenix Foundation, which by vague description is located in Montana or on the Canadian border. Between the description of glaciers and ranches, I’m confused about which one it is.

Alexz hasn’t mentioned his research project again, and neither have I. Right now, I have no interest in dealing with any of that, and I’m happy to never go back to Canyon Falls. I’ve gotten used to the rhythm and routine of the ship and the people who work here. A few of them say they live within commuting distance to the offices, which means Wolfe and I can find a place to live, too.

Things are a little strained between us, since I unloaded all my trauma on him and basically declared a moratorium on sex. But he stayed, instead of flying off on the chopper, that was heading to Los Angeles.

The tug boats come alongside, gently guiding us through the channel to our slip. I watch the port crew catch the ropes thrown out through the little port holes and tie us snugly up against the pier. The crew onboard is excited to see land. They’ve got their bags lining the passageways, waiting for the captain to announce we’re free to disembark.

The boat will remain here for three days, refueling, and restocking. The replacement crew is already on the pier waiting to take our place. Of the twenty-five percent who won’t be leaving, they’ll stay on until Italy, because that’s their home port or because they plan to vacation somewhere in Europe during their off time. It’s basically getting paid to travel.

The captain comes over the intercom and declares we’re free to leave. I hurry to my stateroom to gather my things, doing a last-minute check for anything I might have forgotten to pack. Not that I have much. I have the clothes Alexz provided and some things from the ship’s store, but all of that fits in one little duffle bag. Wolfe’s bag is like mine, but his is filled with the standard issue crew shirt and pants and workout clothes. When you live at sea, there’s not much need for a full wardrobe. I like the simplicity of it.

We’ll be among the last group to depart the ship because we’re flying with Alexz to the headquarters and it’ll take a while to get his security team in place. I suspect he’s being extra vigilant because I’m here. That makes me feel a little better about leaving the ship. So does the bulletproof vest he and Wolfe insisted I wear and the ball cap that will help hide my face.

As a bonus, I’m sporting a blonde wig and novelty contacts in a warm shade of brown, to help make it harder to identify me on facial recognition software as we pass through airport security. As for my identification, I trust Alexz when he says the forgery is good enough to withstand scrutiny, and that our security check will be quick because we’re flying a private jet.

A knock sounds on the door, and Wolfe swings it open, revealing Kendall in the hallway. “We’re ready.”

I nod, pick up my duffel bag and follow him down the passageway and up to the top deck, where Alexz joins us. After another round of security checks, we walk down the brow and onto the pier, and are quickly ushered into the waiting SUV.

We speed out of the port and toward the airport where the plane will take me even further away from my previous life.