62. Pax
Chapter 62
Pax
T he fourth family line is the topic on every prospect’s mind. The high council has basically given everyone an excuse to be the worst version of themselves. That’s saying something, considering that when it comes to challenges, a lot of us already skate the line of morally acceptable behavior.
If anyone thinks it’s odd that the children are the ones who will compete for the title, they haven’t said so. Personally; I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I like that the current generation will be the deciding factor. I’ll get a more up close view of who I’ll be interacting with.
On the other hand, that won’t do much to prepare me for working with the head of the family line. My relationship with my father is proof enough that blood and familial ties don’t mean you share the same values. Despite our current issues, Finn, Holden and I want the same things for our future in this town and in The League. The person we find ourselves tied to might want something totally different.
Whoever it will be, they’ll never be one of us. We’ll never develop that bond. Maybe my father knew this announcement was coming, because with a fourth line -a stranger- there was no way in hell we’d ever have offered to let them in on our plan to share Thea. I wish she’d had finished at the top of the leaderboard and succeeded at the meritorious advancement to second-year prospect. Then she’d have the option to compete for the fourth line, and she’d be stuck with me forever.
Just as quickly as I allow myself to feel amused at the thought of Thea’s face, every time we had to have a Quad meeting, the feeling fades. Even if there was a chance for any of that to happen, I would never truly have her. Never truly be happy. Not with this secret. Not when she won’t ever know that I know what my father did.
Just tell her. That small voice in my head says. Just tell her. What’s the worst that can happen? She already hates you.
My eyes swing to the empty table where she usually sits with her friends. I came to The Rock early to escape Eloise and to get a glimpse of Thea when she comes through the door.
I breathe easier when she appears. She’s here. So is Finn who’s whispering with Austin like they’re best girl friends. The two of them couldn’t be more different and they never got along before, yet it looks so effortless between them now.
Finn has put our years long rivalry aside so he can be in the same space Thea is. The foundation of whatever camaraderie they have started at this table when I forced her to sit with us, and Finn nurtured it while she was gone.
I’m jealous of Finn’s refusal to take no for an answer. Jealous that he’s free to be himself and do what the fuck he wants without worrying about the consequences. I used to be the same way, but I can’t risk it. I won’t risk her.
Her head whips around and she glares at Finn. Her hair catches the light, just so, and her strands look like they’re bleeding a deep crimson red. I love the new hair color. I’ve jacked off to thoughts of it spread across my thighs and pillows almost every night.
Whatever Finn’s saying now has her swatting at him. He dodges her blow, then comes close, planting a kiss on her cheek before darting away. She’s fighting a smile as she walks to the serving line. I feel my lips widen in response to witnessing that playful moment between them.
“Now that’s the kind of greeting I like.” My smile tightens into a line of agitation at the sound of Eloise’s voice.
“What makes you think he was smiling at you?” Finn asks, dropping into the seat next to me, forcing Eloise to take the one next to him. He hasn’t sat next to me in months. I don’t know what’s possessed him to do it now, but I’m grateful for the interference.
“Why else would he be smiling like that?”
“Oh, I can think of soooo many reasons, and only one of them has to do with you. That one is very, very, bloody. Which is more likely to make me smile.” He sighs wistfully, as if he knows he’ll never get the chance to experience it.
I feel my eyebrows trying to high five my hairline. Finn’s not just sitting next to me. He’s annoying Eloise in that playful way he has. The one that very few people ever realize means he’s really close to drawing blood.
Finn in your face. Boldly threatening you with a knife is dangerous, but it’s also a bit of a show. You know it’s coming and have a chance to get the hell out of the path of his blade. Finn teasing like this… you’ll be bleeding out before you even realize the cut’s been made.
“Whatever Finn. Just because you didn’t know how to treat me doesn’t mean Pax doesn’t.”
He says, “I think my treatment of you was adequate.”
“Adequate? It was pathetic and crude. You had no respect for me.”
“And Pax does?”
“He takes me shopping. We have dinners. We do things couples are supposed to do. You should take notes for your next companion.”
“Notice the word you used. Companion. I treated you just the way the oath said I should. If not better, because there are plenty of companions being loaned out. Not that anyone would have wanted your uptight ass. As for the dinners and shopping, I’m well versed in those things. I did them frequently. My girl had no complaints.”
His lips twist to one side. “I lied. She had one complaint, but that was about me being shackled to you, so she made it her mission to make me cum so hard I forgot you existed.” He shakes in his seat like he’s cumming just from the memory of what she did to him.
I can totally fucking relate. Eloise scoffs. “You’re talking about that whore?”
Finn smiles. “One wo-man’s whore is another man’s everything. ”
Eloise lets out a disdainful sniff. “Don’t you mean she cost you everything?”
“I said what I meant. For her, I’d do anything. Give up everything. Be anyone she needs me to be, just to put that smile.” He points to where Thea’s sitting, smiling at Connor. “On her face.”
Finn’s own smile slips. “So if that means cutting you up into little pieces, burning your body to ash and sprinkling you off her favorite rock over the ocean, butt ass naked with the cops waiting to cart me away, I’m happy to do it.”
Eloise mumbles something under her breath, too soft for me to hear. Holden drops his tray on the table, then straightens, going completely still. He’s staring right at Eloise. His voice is deceptively calm when he says, “Say that again.”
“Say what?” Her gaze darts to mine. I didn’t hear what she said, but I’m willing to bet it’s something she shouldn’t have.