Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
DEAN
I keep one eye on Juliette’s sleeping body and the other on my son sitting beside me. He hasn’t stopped crying since we left Juliette’s house. I feel so fucking guilty. I baited Arnie, thinking he’d come for me, not her. Never her. Why is the woman I love the most always paying for my sins?
He holds my hand for comfort. I know he’d feel better if my grandfather were here. And that’s my fault too. He took the fall for me with the Adare police. They wanted someone in jail for Arnie’s injuries. The guy is alive, but he’s got a dozen broken bones. He’s lucky my grandfather pulled me off him. And he’s lucky now that Juliette needs me. Otherwise, I’d go to the hospital room the police are standing in front of and finish the job.
“Is she going to die?” PJ whispers.
“Oh, buddy, no,” I reply, tossing an arm around him. “Mama will be okay. She’s just napping right now.”
He starts crying harder. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m holding him or out of relief. But I don’t let him go. He’s not the only one who needs this hug. Tears flow from my eyes. What happened tonight was the scariest thing I’ve ever been through. I never thought something would top the night she ran away from me. But the night she got beaten by her cop boyfriend? Yeah, that tops it.
I look at her in the bed. Her eyes are closed, a white bandage wrapped around her head. Arnie gave her a pretty good concussion and fractured her rib. Other than that, she’s okay. But Jesus Christ, she scared me when she passed out. I almost killed Arnie then and there, but Jamie had to go and remind me that I’m not in America anymore. No more immunity.
PJ looks up at me. It’s a trip to see your own eyes looking at you—just a smaller version.
“Promise?”
He lifts his pinky and holds it out to me. The tears start to fall faster as I wrap my pinky around his.
“I promise she’s going to be okay, PJ.”
In this moment, I can feel the trust he’s putting in me. It’s written all over his face. The doctors better be right because I cannot let this kid down. I cannot break his heart.
A knock on the door interrupts our moment. Warren comes in before I can say anything else.
“She awake yet?”
“No. Doctors said she could be out for a few hours.”
“She needs the rest,” he replies. “She’s been working a lot to provide for PJ.”
“That’ll change now that I’m here.”
I managed to save quite a nest egg while using Declan’s resources to look for her. It’s coming in handy now.
Warren sits on the other side of her hospital bed. The weird plastic cushion creaks as he relaxes. The sound makes PJ laugh. It feels like a ray of sun after a long thunderstorm. Warren chuckles alongside him.
“You okay, buddy?”
PJ wipes his tears and nods. “I’m hungry.”
“I can go grab you something from the vending machine,” I suggest.
“Candy?”
“Maybe some and some healthier stuff too.”
“Okay.”
“Alright.” I look at Warren. “Do you mind watching him?”
“He’s good. I got him. Grab me a soda.”
I roll my eyes. My throat itches to tell him to fuck off, but I hold back.
“I’ll be back,” I tell the two of them.
I walk backward, waiting for PJ to look away. The moment he does, I flip Warren off before slipping out the door.
“Excuse me,” I lean against the counter at the nurses’ station. “Could someone tell me where the vending machines are?”
“In the cafeteria. It’s down the hall and to the left.”
“Thanks.”
It doesn’t take long to find the place. It’s dark; the only lights are on the machines I’m looking for. There are four machines—two for snacks and two for soda. One too many options. My brain freezes when there are choices. I can never decide. Oh god, I don’t even know what PJ likes. Why didn’t I ask that?
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Pulling it out, I start pressing a combination. I swipe my card just as I swipe at the screen to answer.
“Hello.”
“It’s me,” my grandfather says. “They’re letting me out.”
“Need me to come pick you up?”
“No, stay with your son. Killian and Kieran are driving down with Margot.”
“The twins?”
“Yeah.”
I haven’t seen my twin cousins in years. They weren’t at the gym the other night, and I haven’t been home much. I much prefer to be with Juliette and PJ.
“Are they picking you up?”
“I’m going to wait here for them and, while I’m here, I’m going to try to find out what they’re going to charge Arnie with.”
“It’d better be something that comes with a death sentence.”
“Dean, I told you, that’s not how we handle things here.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
I just don’t like it. I stab at the buttons so hard my fingers ache. My knuckles are bloody and raw, scraped up by Arnie’s face. I wish I had killed him.
“I know,” my grandfather says. “But that’s just not going to happen.”
“Didn’t realize I said that out loud.”
“Look, you’ve got a right to be angry, Dean. But let the authorities handle it from here.”
That’s a big ask, especially in a situation like this. How can I let this motherfucker live? He put her in a hospital. He should be dead already.
“You need to focus on Juliette,” my grandfather continues. “Focus on her and your son. Help take care of her. They’ll need you.”
I blow out a big breath. “You’re right. He’s not worth it.”
But I know deep down, I won’t let this go. I may have to be more patient than I want to be, but I can handle that. Feeling Arnie’s blood on my hands will be well worth it.
“I’ve gotta go, Dean. Call me if she wakes up, okay?”
Promising to call him, I hang up. I look at the ground and see a lot more snacks than I meant to buy. The bank app tells me I just spent two hundred dollars… on vending machine snacks. I can’t even carry all this back to the room. Not by myself, at least.
I scan the room. It’s a little difficult to see what’s against the walls on the far side, but I manage to make out a wheelchair. Perfect. It will carry all the snacks, plus Bluebird might need one when she finally wakes up. Grabbing it, I unfold it and push toward the stockpile.
It’s only been three hours, but that’s three hours too long. I need to hear her voice. I need to see those crystal blue eyes. They’ve always been my favorite part of her. No matter how hard she tries, her eyes always tell you how she feels. I need to know she’s okay. After tonight, I’m not sure I’m going to take my eyes off her ever again. She won’t be happy. But I’m planning to sleep on her couch until I find my own place. I will not leave her alone. Arnie is under arrest, but I’m not taking any chances.
I balance the last bag of chips on the food pyramid I built. It’s a fragile stack, but I’m hoping it will hold. Keeping one hand on it, I push the wheelchair forward down the bleach-cleaned halls. The hospital is white and sterile, like most. But this one has some odd art on the walls. I have no idea what the paintings are supposed to be. They’re just lines. I guess I’m just not getting the vision.
By the time I reach Juliette’s room, I still have no idea what I’m looking at. I give up and admit defeat as I go inside. PJ’s eyes light up when he sees what I brought.
Warren gives me a look. “You’re going to jack him up on too much sugar.”
“I won’t let him eat that much.”
“You have no idea what you’re doing.”
He looks down at his watch. “Almost midnight. You know what happens if you feed a kid after midnight?”
“No?”
I furrow my brows. Because what the fuck? What happens to kids if you feed them after midnight? Do they turn into evil little green goblins with big ears?
“You’ll find out,” Warren replies. “Did you get my soda?”
“They’re on the bottom.”
He pulls one out and cracks it open, taking a long sip. PJ is already tearing into a candy bar.
“Not too much, okay, buddy?”
“Okay, Dean.”
That doesn’t make me feel better. I need Warren to tell me what the hell happens to kids when they eat after midnight.
He finishes his sip, looking at me. “I called my mom.”
“She knows?”
“She’s known for a while now. She’s coming down tonight.”
“So just me and Declan then?”
“Yeah, kinda. And the rest of the world too.”
“I don’t like being in the dark.”
Warren shrugs. “Not my call. For her part at least. As for not knowing about me, you didn’t really have any right to know so.”
“Yeah, do you plan to tell Declan?”
“No,” he answers quickly. “He wanted me dead. So I’m dead. And I will stay that way.”
“Got it.”
“I’m thirsty,” PJ calls.
“Okay, what do you want?”
“Can I have a soda like Uncle Warren?”
“Um, maybe a root beer. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t have any caffeine.”
“What’s caffeine?”
“It’s something that gives you energy and makes you hyper. Adults drink it.”
“I want some.”
“That’s really not a good idea,” Warren interjects as his phone starts vibrating in his hand. He looks down at it before glancing at me. “It’s my mom. I’ll take this outside.”
He slips out without warning, leaving me with PJ, who looks at me expectantly.
“So can I have a soda?”
“How about a water?” a small voice croaks.
I look up at the bed. Juliette is awake. Her blue eyes are finally on me again. God, it feels good.
“Yeah,” I agree. “A water is a good idea too.”
“I meant me,” Juliette says.
“Oh,” I scramble to grab a cold bottle of water and open it.
Juliette sits up, putting her hands on her head. “What happened?”
“You don’t remember?”
She shakes her head.
“Arnie, he attacked you.”
“Who is Arnie?”
My eyebrows hit my hairline. Just like I said, her eyes are windows, and right now, they’re showing me a lot. She’s looking at me like… she’s in love with me. She’s looking at me like she used to, as if the last six years never happened at all.
“Who’s that?” Juliette asks, looking behind us.
I turn around, seeing only PJ. My heart sinks. Juliette doesn’t remember her own son.