Chapter 14
14
Iris couldn’t believe what she was hearing come out of James’s mouth. Run away with him? Leave her family and her clan behind?
Could she really do something like that?
“We can leave taenight,” he was saying, his voice growing anxious. “And go north. We can start a life taegether, Iris, one that is outside of this war between our families.” He grabbed her upper arms, his chest brushing against her exposed breasts. “Dinnae ye want tae be with me?”
Iris opened her mouth, but the words wouldn’t form on her tongue. What James was saying sounded lovely, but did she really want that sort of life? Iris had worked so hard to become one of her father’s warriors, to be respected by her clansmen and her father.
To give that all up now felt as if she would be walking away from everything she cared about.
But to tell James that she couldn’t run off with him would also mean it would be the last time she would see him. How many times had her father warned her about growing attachments? It was one of the many reasons his bairns were illegitimate.
Her heart twisted in her chest, and instead of answering him, Iris pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss. Her hands were under his tunic next, and James groaned against her mouth, his hands on her breasts, kneading them until she was moaning as well. For the longest time she thought they were only to nurse her future bairns, but now, the sensation of him touching her there was nearly overwhelming.
This was what the warriors jested about around the campfire at night.
This was what the servants in the keep giggled about whenever one of her father’s warriors walked past. These feelings were far more than she could have ever dreamed about.
There had to be more.
“Off,” she rasped, tugging up his tunic. “Take it off.”
James’s hands dropped from her chest so that he could pull the tunic over his head, throwing it on the grass next to them. Her eyes roved over his strong form, and she did a sharp intake of breath, her hands shaking as she reached out and touched him. James’s eyes closed as he groaned.
“Touch me like that, lass, and I will touch ye next.”
“I’m hoping ye will,” she said boldly as her fingers scraped over his flat stomach.
When she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his chest, right above his heart, James muttered a curse, his hand flying up to stop hers from wandering further.
“Lass!” he panted. “I—ye are driving me crazy.”
He brought her hand up to his mouth, and her heart turned over in her chest as he kissed the pads of her fingers.
“Do ye wish for me tae touch ye, Iris?”
“Aye,” Iris replied, her heart pounding in her chest. “Aye.”
James’s nostrils flared. Just when she thought he was going to drop her hand, he stepped forward, his other hand reaching down to grip the hem of her skirts.
“I wilnae take yer innocence,” he told her, his voice tight. “But I can give ye pleasure.”
“Please,” she begged, her gut coiling tightly in anticipation. “I need ye, James.” She wasn’t so certain what she needed, but he was the only one that could give it to her, that she was certain of.
His hand skimmed her bare thigh and Iris gasped, her head pressing into the stone wall behind her. She had never been touched so intimately before, not even with her own fingers, and while she should be embarrassed to let James do so now, it felt far too right for him to do so.
“Do ye like that?” he breathed into her ear as his fingers brushed over the edge of her shift, the very one that covered the spot between her legs. "Wot aboot this?”
Iris could feel the very beat of her heart in the space he was touching, gasping when his fingers moved under the flimsy, worn material and cupped her with his bare hand.
“Ye’re wet for me, Iris,” he growled into her ear.
Iris could only press into his hand, a heavy need to have him touch her there now thrumming through her veins.
“Bloody hell,” she whispered.
James chuckled, and the sound slithered warmly down her spine.
“Aye, lass, I know the feeling.”
Did he? Iris didn’t want to think of how she was an untried innocent and James, well, if he was anything like her brothers, he had seen his fair share of lasses in his lifetime.
But she was the one he was touching now. She was the one he was kissing, and that was all that mattered to Iris.
“I’m going tae touch ye now. Stop me, lass.”
Iris squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t even if she wanted to, curious to know what else he could do to her, what else he could make her feel.
His finger brushed a sensitive part of her and she bucked against his hand, only to have James laugh in return.
“Dinnae worry, Iris,” he said as his finger swiped the length of her. “I wilnae hurt ye, lass. I only want tae make ye feel good.”
“James,” Iris breathed as he grew bolder with his fingers, stoking a fire low in her gut. “Kiss me.”
“Gladly,” he murmured before his lips were on hers.
The pressure was building between her legs, her body moving with the stroke of his finger. She cried out against his lips when the pressure grew to be too much and stars exploded behind her eyelids, her body suddenly filled with a warmth like she had never known.
Breaking their kiss, she looked at him with wide eyes.
“Wot did ye do?”
“That was yer release, Iris,” he told her, his free hand coming up to cup her cheek. “I was the first?”
She nodded, and he pressed his forehead to hers. “Then I feel honored tae give ye that.”
Slowly her breathing returned to normal, James slid his hand from under her skirts, taking a few steps back.
“I…” Iris started, biting her lower lip. “I want tae do that tae ye.” She didn’t know how, but she had always been told she was a quick learner.
He let out a guttural laugh, shaking his head. “Nay, lass,” James responded as he plucked his tunic from the grass and slid it on. “Ye cannae touch me right now or ye will be sending me tae mah death.”
Ruckus laughter cut through the night air. James swore, pulling Iris’s bodice closed and tying the laces.
“Hurry,” he whispered, reaching for her hand. “We cannae be seen taegether.”
Iris’s heart was in her throat, the warmth of what he had done earlier now gone as he tugged them along the keep’s walls, further away from the laughter. Only when they could no longer see the flicker of the fires in the courtyard did James stop, releasing Iris’s hand.
“There,” he stated. “We should be far enough away.”
Iris collapsed against the stone wall, her entire body shaking from the night’s events. She was elated at what they had shared together, but now that it was over, there was nothing left but the sweet regret of what she could not have with James.
It was not meant to be for them to have a life together, and that tore at her very soul.
“Iris,” James said softly, grasping her chin and forcing her to meet his worried gaze. “I should have never?—”
“Nay,” she said, pressing her finger to his lips to silence his words. “Nay, dinnae apologize for that. ’Tis mah decision as well.”
Did he regret what he had done with her? Was this because she was refusing to run away with him?
The worry must have shone in Iris’s eyes, for James reached up and framed her face with his large hands.
“I dinnae regret it, Iris. It was a boon I wasnae expecting.” He drew in a breath. “Taemorrow, whatever the game is, I wilnae beat ye if that is wot ye want.”
Startled, Iris stepped out of his touch. “Wot?”
“I dinnae wish tae do this any longer,” James replied, dropping his hands to his sides. “I thought I was participating in the gathering games for a reason, for mah future, but mah future stands before me right now.”
“James,” Iris said brokenly, tears filling her eyes. She didn’t want this, but his words, his touch, made her think of things other than the life she currently had.
“I wilnae let ye just give up taemorrow. ’Tis not right.”
He shook his head. “If it comes tae me and ye in the end, I wilnae fight ye, Iris.”
His words both saddened and angered her. She didn’t want a win that she hadn’t earned, even if it was against James.
“Nay.”
“Ye can avoid all of that taemorrow by coming with me taenight,” he finished, his jaw clenched. “Just say the word, Iris, and we will be gone before the sun rises.”
“I cannae!” she cried, wrenching away from him. “I cannae leave mah family, mah clan!”
“But ye can walk away from me,” he finished, giving her a tight nod. “I see.”
But he didn’t see at all! Iris couldn’t betray those that cared about her and run away with the Scot that she was sworn to hate! If she did, they would go to battle against each other once more, and this time, there was no telling who would come out of it, especially her brothers.
They would be out for spilled blood, and her sisters would detest her for leaving them alone.
“I’m vera sorry,” she forced out.
James thrust a hand through his hair roughly, giving her a long look.
“I wilnae face ye taemorrow, Iris.”
She pushed at his shoulders, angered that he didn’t see the repercussions that she would be facing.
“Nay!” she shouted. “If ye dinnae fight me taemorrow, I will never forgive ye!”
Iris couldn’t believe that he would do such a thing.
“Then ye will have tae hate me, lass,” he said softly.
Iris huffed in frustration as she pushed past him, heading back to the camp. What was supposed to be a special night had not been that at all. It had been full of heartbreak, something that Iris never wished to feel again.
Iris was almost to her tent when Ian intercepted her path, his grin falling as he saw the tear streaks on her face.
“Wot happened?” he demanded, throwing his mug aside. “Wot did that bastard do tae ye!”
Iris used all her might to push at her brother’s shoulders, causing him to stumble backward and nearly fall over the log on the ground.
“I told ye tae mind yer own business!” she shouted. “Yet ye cannae help but meddle in mine!”
Ian straightened, his eyes flashing with anger. “I dinnae know wot ye are talking aboot, lass.”
Iris huffed, her hands on her hips. “Ye know wot ye did, Ian, and it wasnae yer business tae do so!”
“Wot is the meaning of this!”
Both turned to find their father a few feet away, with a lass on his arm and his eyes blazing with anger.
“Tell Ian tae stay out of mah business,” she told her father.
The laird’s eyes cut to his eldest son, narrowing. “Wot did ye do?”
“That Lennox bastard has his eyes for Iris,” Ian bit out, crossing his arms over his chest. “I wilnae let mah sister be anywhere near him.”
“’Tis not yer call!” Iris shot back, walking away before she could hear her father’s retort.
The entire lot of them could hang for all she cared. They were meddling in her business, but it wasn’t her brother that had made tonight happen.
It was just easier to blame him for it.