Chapter 15
15
Gretna woke up pushing her hair out of her eyes as she sat up abruptly. The space where Remy had been when she had fallen asleep was empty and when Gretna ran her hand over the spot, it was cold.
He was gone.
Panic started to build in her chest but Gretna tamped it down. She had to remember that she was left behind for a specific reason and that reason was to keep James occupied until Remy could come back.
It didn’t mean she was going to miss him any less.
Laying back on her pillow, Gretna pulled the one that Remy had been lying on and breathed in his scent. She had fallen asleep with his arms around her, his thumb rubbing a lazy circle on her abdomen. She had felt that he had wanted more, but Gretna knew that he wouldn’t go beyond holding her.
He didn’t want to take her innocence. Gretna let out a sigh. She would have gladly given it to him last night after his words had struck a chord deep down inside. She too felt like being close to him was never enough. She wanted to move into his heart, his very soul.
But would he let her? After this was all done, would Remy let her love him? Aye, she likely already did. It was no longer about the titles and the life that she could have in a keep as a future lady of a clan.
It was about the love that she knew would grow into something far more wonderful.
What if he didn’t feel the same? The thought was still there for Gretna. Remy could have touched her because she was allowing him to and had no feelings for her at all. She didn’t know if she believed it though. He was trying to save her. He was riding back to their clan right now to inform her brother of what had happened and Ian would come for her. Gretna was certain of it.
Until then, she had to make sure not to upset James and play the doting bride-to-be.
After a few hours of restless sleep, Gretna finally rose from her bed and dressed for the morning, pulling her hair over her shoulder and weaving a ribbon that matched her gown through it. Outwardly, she looked like herself, poised and ready to smile and laugh as she had been taught.
Inwardly, though, she was sick with worry about Remy, about what she might encounter in his absence. This was not the time to show her worry to her future intended though, and Remy was right. She needed to play the part she had been groomed for all her life.
Walking down the stairs to the great hall, she saw that breakfast was already laid out, causing her stomach to growl. Her intended sat with his da at the high table, the elder laird giving her a warm smile as she approached.
“Good morn, Gretna,” he said as Gretna dropped into a courtesy. “I trust ye slept well?”
Gretna refused to even glance in James’ direction, conjuring up a smile herself. “Aye, I did, like a babe.”
The laird waved his arm to the empty chair next to James. “Come sit. Mah son tells mah that there is an announcement in order?”
Bile rose in her throat, but Gretna maintained her smile as she took her seat, looking at the plate on the table and not at her intended. “Aye, there is.”
“Good, good!” the laird announced, clapping his hands. “I had hoped that ye both would look upon each other favorably!”
“The missive is on its way to Laird Wallace,” James finally said, reaching over to grasp Gretna’s hand. Gretna fought the urge to pull it back, instead squeezing it until she felt him wince. Remy wanted her to be strong. Well, her intended was going to find out how strong she could be. “I have asked for his hasty response so that the wedding can happen as soon as possible.”
The laird chuckled. “Canna wait tae have her as yer wife then son? Well, I donna have any objections tae a hasty marriage and I donna think that her brother will either.” He waved a hand in Gretna’s direction. “I offer up anything that yer heart desires, lass. Spend mah coffers. Make this yer dream.”
Once upon a time, Gretna would have swooned at the thought of being able to plan her wedding as such. After all, she had dreamed of it since she was a wee bairn. The problem was, her husband was not who she wished to have standing beside her at the ceremony. “That is very generous of ye mah, Laird.” Though the words sounded flowery and sweet like that of a simpering lass, they tasted bitter against her tongue. Did the laird know about his son’s behavior? Did he know that James had threatened her into this union?
“This will be the first lass we have had in the family in quite some time,” the laird stated, pushing his chair back. “James, I will allow ye a little time with yer intended, but we are due tae address council shortly.”
“Aye, father,” James replied evenly, his hand still holding Gretna’s.
His da nodded and walked away, leaving them alone. “I’ve lost mah appetite,” Gretna said tightly, yanking her hand out of his.
James’ hand landed on her arm, instead, as she tried to rise. “Donna tell him anything.”
Gretna looked down at him. “I knew that he doesna know wot a snake his son is.”
His hand tightened on her arm, but Gretna refused to make a sound and give him the satisfaction that he was hurting her. “If ye say one word tae him, I will lock ye in yer chambers until our wedding day.”
Angered by his threats, Gretna yanked away from his grasp. “I willna say anything, as long as ye dinna give mah a reason tae do so.”
James rose to his full height. “Then we understand each other. Ye will be mah wife, Gretna. I will have ye in mah bed and there is nothing that yer brother will do tae stop it.”
Gretna lifted her chin, putting on a strong front like Remy had asked her to. “If ye think that I am going tae do any of that willingly, then ye donna know mah all that well.” Without waiting for a response, she marched off, her head held high.
The first person she came in contact with was the maid from the other day when the spiral downward started, and instead of lowering her hand and walking past, the maid met Gretna’s gaze head-on. What Gretna saw there was pity. They, truly, thought that Gretna was going to marry their master and be forced to do as they had done for no telling how long.
Gretna gave a quick shake of her head, noting the maid’s eyes widened but she was already moving past the woman, the tears threatening to overtake her. She would not shed another tear on behalf of James and instead turn her attention to formulating a way to get out of this. Gretna had complete trust in Remy and her brother, that he would believe her in her reasoning of why she didn’t want to marry James.
But at what cost to their clan? Gretna bit her lower lip as she moved toward her chamber, her steps not as sure as they had been before. Her clan could possibly take the blame for her unwillingness. Would her brother put that sort of fate on the line?
Gretna decided that she couldn’t let him even have that choice. She would find something, anything that would keep her from marrying James, but not at the sacrifice of her clan. As a last resort, she would do exactly what she told him she wouldn’t and appeal her case to his da.
Once in her chambers, Gretna paced the floor, trying to think of what she needed to do next. She would need to distract her intended somehow so that she could snoop into his chambers.
Or perhaps she could get the maids to come to her side and go against their master, appeal to their laird that his son was making their lives miserable. Was he? Gretna didn’t know, but it had to hurt at least one of them to watch other maids come in and out of James’ chambers and know that they were nothing more than bed warmers to him. She was a lass and so were they. One surely held some sort of affection for him and while Gretna would never wish for someone to manipulate her feelings, she also knew it might be her only way out of this marriage for good. She needed to be released from the marriage and save her clan.
Sitting down on the bed, Gretna fidgeted with her skirts to ward off the impending doom she felt in her chest. This could not be her future. Soon, she pushed herself back to a standing position and moved to her trunk, knowing that sorting her clothing would give her a soothing feeling until supper.
But as she raised the trunk, a piece of parchment fell from its seal and Gretna frowned as she picked it up, opening the folded paper.
Stay strong. I am coming back for you.
There was little doubt in her heart that Gretna knew who had written the words. Tears formed in her eyes and she pressed the paper to her chest, whispering words of safety that she hoped would form around Remy on his journey home. He knew that her trunk would be her bout of weakness, the need to sort and separate her things would eventually come to light.
“Oh, Remy,” she whispered, wishing he was there right now so she could burrow herself into him. He was her rock, but right now she had to be strong for herself and no other.
She could do this. Gretna looked at the paper once more and then tucked it into her trunk for safekeeping.
She would become what everyone needed her to be right now.