6. Harmony
Chapter 6
Harmony
“ Of course , you have to stay!” Elli says, like I’m crazy for even considering going home. “Mack Solomon, one of the hottest solo artists on the planet, wants to do lots of naughty things to you, and you’re considering coming back to this small town? Are you crazy? No, don’t answer. I know you’re crazy because sane people don’t turn down offers like that.”
It's been two days since my anxiety attack after the publicity event, and I’m in my bedroom at the guest house on a video call with my bestie.
Mack and I have spent a lot of time together over the last few days, laying down our duet tracks for the new album in the recording studio. We have dinner together every evening, Mack, Jessica, and me, and they have me in stitches with their stories and banter. Mack never knew his father, and Jessica’s dad took off with another woman when she was eight. I love seeing how close they are. Either of them could’ve gone their separate way, but they stayed together, forming their own little family unit.
Despite wanting him to, Mack hasn’t touched me since we played sucky-face in the back of the limo. True to his word, he’s letting me set the pace, but every time his intense gaze lands on me, it speaks of all those “filthy” things he said he wants to do to me. I’m pretty sure if his thoughts were actions, I’d be sore from all the glorious sex by now.
But it’s not only sexual. I recall how amazing he was with me after my meltdown. I’m sure most guys would run in the opposite direction. In fact, I know they would. I remember having an anxiety attack in school assembly. The boy I had a crush on at the time looked at me in horror like I’d sprouted two heads as I gasped and moaned my way through a panic attack. But not Mack. He’d taken control, made me feel safe and protected, and...
“I think I’m falling in love with him, Els,” I blurt.
Elli falls uncharacteristically quiet. I can almost see her mind working as I watch her on the screen. Finally, she says, “Well, that means you have even more reason to stay.”
“Or more reason to run.” I sigh. “I should tell him I can’t do this. Leave before?—”
“Hold it right there, my little harmonica,” Elli cuts across me. “We’ve known each other since we were little. We’ve grown up together. Dreamed together. About all the places we wanted to visit and all the people we wanted to meet. Life is about taking chances, remember? Neither of us had the money or opportunity, but now you do. Don’t waste it. Live a little. For both of us. And if it doesn’t work out, we can grow old together, lose our marbles, and become best friends all over again.”
I can’t help laughing at Elli’s words. “God, I wish you were here with me.”
“Me too. I swear, the second I win the lotto, I’ll be on a plane headed your way. But in the meantime, I think you should stay. See where this adventure takes you. Tell Mack how you feel because I have a sneaky suspicion he feels the same way you do. I mean, the man told you he wants to marry you and knock you up, for God’s sake! Don’t throw away the chance to be happy. If it’s meant to be, you’ll have the rest of your lives to learn everything about each other.”
Elli’s right, but… “What if being with me ruins his career? We got away with it the other day when I had an anxiety attack because everyone was focused on Mack, but that won’t always be the case. I don’t want him to suffer because he’s chosen to sing with someone who’s broken.”
“You’re not broken, and if I hear you talking that way again, I will hitchhike my way there so I can whoop your ass. Am I broken because I talk too much and can’t sit still?” she demands.
“Of course not. I love you despite your weirdness,” I offer with a smirk.
“Exactly.” Elli nods her head vigorously in agreement. “What if Mack is falling for you despite your weirdness? Isn’t that what love is? Embracing each other’s quirks because they’re a part of the person you love?”
“I guess so,” I whisper.
I want to let go and give myself over to this connection Mack and I share. But I’m scared. I’ve known him for less than a week, and already the thought of not seeing him, not spending time with him, is ... devastating. If I feel this strongly about him now, what would it be like to lose him in a month? Six months? I don’t think I would survive.
Then again, what if I’m overthinking things? Worrying about something that will never happen? Am I going to spend the rest of my life letting my anxiety dictate my choices? Being with Mack, and singing with him, makes me feel whole in a way I’ve never experienced before. I don’t think I can give that up. I don’t think I can give him up.
Singing was always the dream, but Mack is my dream now. I don’t need the bright lights and the screaming fans. I just need Mack—him on his guitar and me on the piano making sweet music and naughty, sweaty sex.
“I can see your cogs whirring,” Elli says, breaking across my thoughts.
“My cogs aren’t the only things whirring.”
Elli laughs. “That’s my girl. Now, go tell that man you want to tear off his clothes and lick him all over.”
My body heats at the thought of a naked Mack. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, Els. I’ve never seduced a man before.”
“Well, you know I’m no use in that department, but—” She purses her lips, her brow furrowed, “—I’m sure if you sit on his face, he’ll get the hint.”
“I am not sitting on his face!” I pause, giving it some thought, and then grin. “Not yet anyway.”
After I finish my call with Elli, I decide there’s no time like the present to talk to Mack. I want him to know I’m falling in love with him. I hope he meant what he said in the limo the other day, or this will be excruciating.
The sun has almost set as I make my way back to the main house, and the smell of fresh pine and bark hangs in the air. It’s so beautiful here. I can picture making it my home.
I let myself in using the passcode Mack gave me when I arrived. The house is quiet, and I peek into the living room to find it empty. As I head down the wide hallway toward the kitchen, I hear the murmur of voices from a door on the left, slightly ajar. Mack’s office, I think.
“What do you want me to do, Mack?” Jessica asks. “Harry’s the one who set it all up and arranged to bring her here. I can’t tell her to fuck off because you’ve decided she’s not the right fit.”
My heart lurches in my chest. Are they talking about me?
“Harry’s got a lot to answer for,” Mack growls in response. “Setting the whole damn thing up without telling me. Most of those auditions were a goddamn horror show, but she still thinks she can make it in this business? She’s delusional.”
I hear Jessica’s sigh. “I was worried this would happen. Harry’s been a bit of a loose cannon for a while now. It’s not the first decision he’s made without your knowledge.”
“Yeah, well, it’s the fucking last. This mess is down to him, so he can damn well clear it up. Telling a girl she has a chance in this industry when she’s clearly dealing with mental health issues is not okay.”
My hand flies to my mouth to suppress my gasp. Tears blur my vision as my heart cracks down the middle. My stomach lurches, threatening to bring up the meal we shared earlier, where we laughed and talked about our interests and hopes for the future. All lies. I was right. Mack sees me as broken.
Emotion overwhelms me, stalling my lungs and clogging my throat. My breathing hitches and I try to calm down. Frantic, I turn to walk along the hallway—toward escape.
Oh, God, not now! Please, not now. I need to get the hell out of here. Pack my small suitcase and go back to Virginia to lick my wounds.
I suck in a breath, but it feels like a steel band has closed around my lungs. I will my feet to carry me to the end of the hallway, every muscle in my body tense, while a cold sweat breaks out on my forehead.
My body is in the grip of an internal monster, making my legs tremble and causing a fiery hot flush to settle over my skin. My vision blurs, and with a tiny whimper, I slump to the ground.