Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
T he rebuilding of the sanctuary was officially underway. Robert had given his enthusiastic approval to Hawk’s plans, and the project had become a community affair. Villagers flocked to help with the manual labor, eager for the chance to earn an income. For their wives, it meant food on the table for the next few weeks, and for the children, it was something exciting to watch. They raced alongside their fathers down the dusty roads, their grubby faces lit up with curiosity and joy. The sense of purpose was palpable.
While he was pleased with the commencement of the project, and the activity surround the revamp, he was twisted into knots about Lexi.
Fuck, staying away from her was harder than seeing her every day.
Since their kiss, and her subsequent “friends” talk, he’d decided it was best to keep his distance, except his body had other ideas. Whenever he saw her in her denim shorts, her surgical coat open over a tank top or T-shirt, he wanted to do all sorts of unspeakable things to her. Now he knew what she tasted like, what she felt like, his imagination was running riot.
A loud crash grabbed his attention, and he strode over to where a bulldozer was shoveling up what was left of the clinic backwall. Lexi’s office was a pile of rubble, but they were extending outwards to the treeline, utilizing the space in the back yard, building over the underground shelter, which would still be accessible but from the inside.
He’d shipped bricks and machinery in from Goma, as well as a mini-cement mixer and bulldozer. Thankfully, they’d made it here in one piece. In addition to the manual laborers from the nearby villages, he’d hired a dozen construction workers to help with the rebuild. Time was of the essence, and he wanted to make sure he left the sanctuary in a workable order, before he went back to New York.
The thought made him twinge. Usually, he looked forward to getting back home after a trip, but this time was different, and he knew it wasn’t just the work and the sense of purpose he felt being here. It was also Lexi, his jungle nymph, with her bewitching green eyes, lips that tasted like the sweetest nectar, and long, bare legs that he wanted wrapped around his waist while he…
Fuck. He raked a hand through his hair, damp with perspiration. It was scorching hot today, with a humidity that made him feel like the jungle itself was sweating. There was no such thing as AC out here, either. They didn’t have the electricity and the few generators they did have were reserved for essentials like lighting, equipment and machinery. All the buildings had old fashioned ceiling fans that didn’t seem to do much. That was just the way it was out here.
There she was, standing on the porch talking to Dan, her mouth curved in a smile. Dan said something, making her laugh, and Hawk felt a stab of jealousy. He wanted to be the one to make her laugh, to make those dimples appear in her cheeks, to see her eyes flash with happiness. With passion. With desire.
Oh, God. He shifted position, adjusting his stance as he started to stiffen. The nights were the worst. Sheer fucking hell. Thinking about her, fantasizing about all the things he wanted to do to her. To hear her moan, to scream, to gasp his name in ecstasy.
“Boss, there’s a parcel for you. It was delivered to the Lodge this morning,” said a local man who helped Robert with the admin for sanctuary.
“Great, thanks.” He knew exactly what that was, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Not that he needed an excuse to see Lexi, of course, but it would give him a legitimate reason to visit the clinic.
Half an hour later, he stood outside the hole in the wall that used to be the clinic window. It had been razored by the rebels. Inside, he saw Lexi filling in paperwork at a makeshift desk in the treatment area. She was biting her lip, a look of concentration on her flushed face.
He knocked on what was left of the door, causing her to glance up. She brightened when she saw it was him, and his heart gave an involuntary flutter. “Hawk, come in. It’s nice to see you. You’ve been scarce.”
“I’ve been busy with the rebuild. Sorry I haven’t stopped by.”
Lame?
Yeah, but her words still echoed in his mind.
Friends.
He suppressed a shudder. Friends was the last thing he wanted, but he couldn’t have it both ways. If friends was all he could get, then that’s what he’d be. Even if it meant he had to live in permanent discomfort.
“That’s okay. What’ve you got there?”
She seemed unfazed. He frowned. Served him right for staying away. She’d put him out of her mind, got on with her work—like he ought to be doing. Instead, he was driving himself crazy with thoughts of her.
“I bought you something.”
“Oh, yeah?” Lexi set down the pen she was using and stood up. He almost groaned. She was wearing tiny shorts with a sheer, white T-shirt that said, “Save the Gorillas.” Her skin glowed with perspiration, and she’d swept her hair up in a messy bun, with tendrils escaping on either side.
He set the box on her desk and watched as her eyes widened. She stared up at him. “You got me a MacBook?”
“Not just any MacBook. It’s the latest model—M3 chip, insane battery life, lightning-fast speed. You’re going to love it.”
She tilted her head, skeptical. “Hawk, all I do is type notes and send emails. This feels... excessive.”
“Nah.” He waved off her protest. “This is more than just a work computer. You can video conference, keep better records, and maybe even start sharing some of your work online. A blog, maybe? Raise awareness about what you’re doing here.” He gestured around the office.
Lexi hesitated, her fingers trailing over the cool, smooth box. “A blog? I don’t know if I’ll have time for that, but... thank you. It’s thoughtful of you.”
“Don’t mention it.” He shrugged. “Besides, your old laptop looked like it belonged in a museum.”
She chuckled, shaking her head. “Robert’s going to be jealous.”
“Not for long,” Hawk smirked. “I got him one, too. His old clunker needed to go.”
“Good call.” She bent over and moved a stack of papers aside to make room. “Want to help me set it up? I’ve got half an hour before I need to check on the animals, and I’d rather not risk breaking it right out of the box.”
“I’d be offended if you didn’t ask,” he teased.
She opened the box, her face alight like a kid at Christmas time. When she pulled out the streamlined laptop, she was practically glowing. “It’s beautiful.”
“You deserve it,” he said, and walked around to her side of the desk to help her set it up.
“How’s the construction work going?” she asked, as he turned it on. He could feel her heat beside him, sending his own body temperature over the edge. His skin prickled, he felt on edge, hyper aware of her presence, almost aroused. Shit, he had to get some semblance of control. He took a steadying breath. “It’s coming along nicely. We broke through the back wall earlier—that’s where most of the noise is coming from. But that part’s done now. We’re focusing on the extension.”
“Thank goodness,” she muttered. “The dust has been killing me.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. Necessary part of the process, I’m afraid.” He dug in his pocket and handed her a small USB-C hub. “Here, start transferring your files while I get this beauty powered up.”
Lexi busied herself with the file transfers, while he focused on setting up her laptop. Despite the humidity, he could still smell her floral shampoo, it seemed to cling to him in the heat, envelop him making it hard to concentrate.
He forced his focus back to the screen.
“Done,” she said, a moment later and handed him the USB stick back. Then she bent to unplug the old desktop. “I take it I can get rid of this one now.”
Christ. He could almost see her pert butt cheeks sticking out from underneath those teeny-tiny shorts. An image of her bending over like that while he drove into her flashed before his eyes, and he had to squeeze them shut to get rid of it.
“You okay?” she asked, giving him an odd look.
“Yeah,” he croaked. “Just hot.”
“It is sweltering today,” she acknowledged with a nod. “I keep splashing water on myself to cool down, but it doesn’t last for long.”
That was another image he didn’t need. He turned away so she wouldn’t see the humungous bulge in his pants.
She moved the old computer to the corner of the room, near the door.
“You do the honors,” he said, when she got back. He moved back to the far side of the desk. It was almost a relief to put some distance between them, even if it was just a flimsy table.
She ran her finger over the finger pad and smiled. “Perfect. Thank you so much.”
“You might have to install some software, but it should be good to go.”
“Thanks, we only use the basics out here. WIFI is sporadic, since we rely on a portable internet hub. There’s no real cellphone network or electricity. I have to pick my times to go online.”
“I get it,” he said, with a knowing nod. He’d operated in many a developing country while in the SEALs, and he knew the lack of infrastructure was a problem. “Hopefully, this will make your life easier.”
“Oh, it will.” She grinned up at him, and his chest constricted. A moment passed, where she gazed at him, her eyes dancing. Eventually, she said, “Don’t be a stranger, Hawk. It’s good having you around.”
“I won’t.” If only she knew how torturous he found it being around her and not being able to touch her. Still, he was a big boy. If she could handle it, so could he.
“You know, I think jungle life suits you.”
He paused. “What do you mean?”
“You look good. Happier than when you first arrived.”
“I am,” he admitted. “This project—it’s been a wake-up call. For years, I’ve been stuck behind a desk, crunching numbers and managing people. I forgot why I got into this line of work in the first place.”
“To help people?” she said.
“And to build things. There’s something humbling about the jungle—its rawness, its unfiltered beauty. It has a way of stripping away the noise of the outside world and reminding you of what truly matters.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” she whispered.
He hesitated, then said, “I’m starting to see why you stay.”
“I’m sorry you can’t,” she replied, softly. “It would be nice to have you around.”
He gazed at her for a long moment. Did she mean that? Would things be different if he could stay? He knew deep down they would. She wanted permanency, she wanted commitment. Two things he couldn’t give her.
Neither of them moved. “So am I.”
A weight settled between them, something he couldn’t shift. Eventually, her eyes flickered, and she glanced away.
He took a deep breath and said, “Let me know if you run into any issues.”
“Huh?”
“With the laptop.”
She blinked. “Oh, right. Yes, I will. Thanks again.”
He cleared his throat and gave a small nod. “See you later.”
“See you.”
As he stepped outside, Hawk let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. All he could think about was the way she’d looked at her—like she wanted him to finish what they’d started in her room last week. And God help him if he wasn’t seriously considering it.