Chapter 19
Chapter
Nineteen
“ A re we there yet?”
Alixe and I groaned in unison.
“Look around, Taran,” she said. “Do you see anything other than sea or desert?”
“No.”
“Then the answer is the same as the last fifteen times you asked.”
“And if you ask again, I’m feeding you to Sorae when we get home,” I added.
Taran nudged me with his elbow. “After all the trouble you went to last night to keep me alive?”
“Oh, I’ll let you live. I’ll just let Sorae nibble off an arm or two.”
“I’d rather you tell her to take another one off that guy Vance.”
“So would I,” Alixe agreed.
“So would I.”
I glanced over my shoulder at the sound of Luther’s low voice. I tried to catch his eye, but he was staring off across the sea, his expression murky.
He’d been avoiding me all day. He had insisted we walk in formation with Alixe taking point, Taran at my side, and himself at the rear. Every time I tried to slow my pace to join him, he fell back even further, determined to maintain our distance.
I pulled at my top, ruffling it to waft a breeze over my skin. “I thought it would be cooler near the water. It’s hotter here than in the dunes.”
Alixe and Taran shot me quizzical stares.
“You’re hot?” Taran rubbed his hands along his arms and shivered. “Queenie, it’s freezing.”
Alixe’s thick cloak flapped loudly in a sudden gust as if to prove his point.
I frowned up at the sky. A quilt of clouds had rolled in, casting a gloomy pallor over the beach. Being so near to the sea brought a constant breeze, but while the others had burrowed deeper into their wools, I felt more like I was roasting in front of a hearth. I’d stripped down hours ago to my thinnest linen layer, though it had done little to stop pearls of sweat from forming like a necklace along my throat.
Taran’s toe caught in the sand, and he stumbled. I jumped forward to catch his arm. “Do you need to sit?”
He swatted me away. “I’m clumsy, not weak.”
“Maybe you should rest anyway.”
“Let’s stop,” Luther cut in. “Just in case.”
Taran threw his head back and whined. “We’ve rested enough. I’m ready to get to Umbros and see what trouble Her Majesty’s going to get us all into this time.”
“Don’t test me today, Taran,” Luther growled.
Taran shot me a look and pointed a thumb behind us. “ This is your fault ,” he mouthed.
“ Sorae’s getting that thumb ,” I mouthed back.
We veered off the beach to a cluster of rocks, each of us taking the chance to shake out the windblown sand that had gathered in our clothes.
“Let me see your wounds,” I insisted as I moved to Taran’s side. The urge to check on the poultice had been nagging at me all day, though I was as nervous as I was eager. The herbs I’d collected in Arboros made up the strongest drawing salve I knew. If this didn’t work to stop the godstone’s spread, I wasn’t sure what else I could do.
I cajoled Taran through his gripes about disrobing in the chilly weather and reached for the bandage on his ribs. His flesh felt ice cold under my palms. I convinced myself it was a positive omen—heat meant infection. Infection meant death.
My hands went still as I lifted the gauze.
I felt the weight of Taran’s eyes watching me.
“What is it?” he asked. “Is it... is it bad?”
In the past, each new glimpse had revealed further spread of the poison, more ground lost to the dark invasion beneath his skin. I’d grown used to bracing for it, to throwing on a smile to distract him—and myself—from the slow defeat.
Nothing could have braced me for this.
“ Lumnos’s tits ,” Taran swore. “Is that...?”
Alixe and Luther rushed to my side, craning their necks to see.
I pulled off the gauze completely and stared at it, dumbstruck. The poultice had turned firm and black, resting like a lump of tar on the white linen.
And his skin...
“It’s healing ,” Alixe breathed.
I struggled to find words. The gash in his side had slimmed to a thin cut surrounded by a patch of shiny pink flesh. The black veins that once splintered like lightning had receded and faded to a muted grey.
Taran sat up and tore off the bandage at his shoulder, contorting himself to get a better look. It, too, had improved remarkably. Though the wound was still large, the dark discharge had dried, and the poisonous web of veins had scaled back by half.
“This is good, isn’t it? It’s getting better?” Taran’s face was bright, pleading for permission to give in to dormant hope.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’ve never seen a salve work like this.”
Luther crouched beside me and took the bandage from my hand to examine it. Tingles rippled where his skin brushed against mine, his nearness pulling me from my shock.
“Can you make more?” he asked.
I nodded and pulled off my rucksack to rummage for my supplies, then set to work preparing a new batch.
“It’s not over yet,” I warned, swiping away the sweat on my forehead. “The poultice is drawing out the infection, but it could spread again.”
Taran gripped Luther by the shoulder as his grin spread from ear to ear. “She’s not pretending everything’s fine. That has to be a good sign.”
Luther didn’t answer, his focus consumed by my hands, engrossed in their every move. When I turned to clean off Taran’s chest, Luther picked up the bowl to inspect it. “The Crowns have searched for a cure to godstone for centuries. If this is it—”
“It’s not,” I said. “My mother’s notes said the toxin doesn’t always respond.” I balled some of the mixture in my hands to warm it and winked up at Taran. “Perhaps the Blessed Mother granted me a favor after all.”
“The heathen repents!” he shouted gleefully.
“We are trying to stay hidden, Taran,” Alixe scolded, but even she couldn’t keep from smiling.
As my palm pressed to his chest, Taran sucked in air and winced. “Is it supposed to burn this time?”
“Burn?” I looked down at my hands. The liquid along the edges of the mixture had begun to bubble, and a light trail of steam rose from the top.
I frowned. “The water must have overheated in the canteen.” I set that portion down to cool and reached for a fresh handful, taking it straight to Taran’s chest.
Though he didn’t pull away this time, his head cocked as he studied me. “Are you feeling alright?”
Luther’s attention finally tore from the poultice. His eyes darted between me and Taran.
“I feel fine,” I said. “Why do you ask?”
Taran wrapped his hand around my forearm. After a moment, he let go and shook out his palm. “It wasn’t that slop that was burning. It’s you.”
Luther’s back went rod straight. He reached for my arm. His face immediately twisted into a deep frown, then his palm moved to the side of my neck.
I leaned into it with a soft sigh. His skin was deliciously cold, a refreshing reprieve from the claustrophobic heat I’d been languishing in all day.
“You’re burning up,” he said gruffly.
“First you scold me for being too cold, now I’m too warm?” I joked.
He didn’t laugh. None of them did.
Luther turned me to face him and cupped my face in his palms. He scowled at my skin like it had personally wronged him. “When did this start?”
“I’m fine. Just a bit overheated. Maybe I picked up a cold from my dip in the sea last night.” I laughed awkwardly, shrinking a bit at his scrutiny. “I didn’t know Descended could get fevers.”
“We don’t,” Alixe answered. “Unless...” She stopped herself, eying Luther.
“Unless you were poisoned,” Taran finished.
Luther’s fingers tightened around me. “What have you eaten? Was your canteen filled from the spring? The berries you brought back, were they—”
“I’m not poisoned .” I shot them all a stern look. “I am a healer you know, I do know what to look out for. I’m not achy or nauseous or lightheaded. I’m just hot .”
I reluctantly pulled Luther’s hands away and gave them a squeeze. “I’m fine, truly. If I start to feel ill, I’ll say something so we can rest. I promise.”
His eyes roved over me. He was plainly unconvinced, but there was little he could do.
When I moved to pull back, he gave the faintest grip of resistance, not quite ready to let me go. The moment my fingers finally slid away, his emotions retreated back behind his mask, and the stoic Prince returned.
He took my mortar and pestle to wash in the seawater, and Alixe strolled further down the beach to scout, leaving Taran and I alone.
“You’re going to put that man in an early grave from worrying over you,” he said.
“Has he always been like this?”
“Overprotective?” Taran barked a laugh. “You have no idea. He thinks anything bad that happens to someone he cares about is his failure.”
Atoning for his mother’s death , I thought sadly. He couldn’t save her, so he’s trying to save all of us.
Taran leaned back on his hands as I shifted to bandage his ribs. “But the way he is with you? I’ve never seen him like that with anyone but Lily. We always said any boy who wanted Lil’s heart would have to have a death wish.” He grinned and flexed his abs under my hand. “Turned out he just needed a pretty older sister.”
I rolled my eyes. “All Descended are pretty.”
“Fine. A feisty older sister.” He stared up at the sky. “Blessed Mother, you have one hell of a sense of humor putting those two couples together.”
I flopped down beside Taran and stared out at Luther, who was still hunched over the water giving my tools a thorough scrub.
There were no words to explain the darkness that had consumed me in those brief, desolate moments when I’d believed he might be dead. The possibility of life without him had been a suffocating fate. Finding him alive was like learning how to breathe again.
“Do you really believe that?” I asked Taran. “You think the gods decide who we’re meant to be with?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I thought your mating bond ritual was about choosing the person you want to be with forever. If the gods have already paired us up, that’s hardly a meaningful choice.”
“The Kindred offer us gifts, but we don’t have to accept them.” He nudged me with his leg. “You almost chose someone else.”
“So did he,” I muttered, remembering how Luther had nearly sold his life away to Iléana to protect me from House Hanoverre.
“If he died tomorrow, who’s to say Lumnos wouldn’t bring someone else into your life who cares for you just as deeply as Lu does?”
“That seems unlikely,” I murmured. My heart lurched at the thought.
“Maybe so.” Taran’s voice turned quiet. “But we don’t always get to keep the people we love forever, so let’s hope it’s true.”
Far in the distance, the rumble of thunder rolled through the air. The clouds above had darkened, the heavy air a portent of a coming storm.
Taran slapped his hand on my leg and rose to his feet. “This conversation is depressing. You got back safely from Arboros, I’m healing, and we’re almost out of fucking Ignios . Today is a day for celebrating. And look...”
A hazy black shape hovered over his open palm. It was cut like a gemstone, but instead of sparkling under the light, within its facets the darkness seemed to rebound forever.
“Your magic is back again?” Alixe asked, walking up. “You had it once already this morning.”
Taran wiggled his fingers and the gem shifted into a miniature shadowy gryvern. It wove in circles around me, nipping its dark fangs at my thumbs.
I grinned and scratched the tiny creature beneath its jaw. It gave a happy wiggle of its haunches then flew up to perch on my shoulder.
When I touched Taran’s magic, I could feel the hum of his power over my skin—not the vast, dominant aria Luther’s had been, but formidable nonetheless. I could also sense its friendly intentions, so much like its bearer.
I wondered what Taran’s godhood demanded of him. Did it insist that he fight , like mine usually did? Or did it tell him to tease? To grin? To drink?
“It’s coming back more frequently,” Alixe said to Luther as he returned. Hers had appeared earlier as well, providing temporary safety while we walked under the cloak of her illusions. “Any sign of yours?”
“Not since the other day,” he answered.
He looked at me in question, and I shook my head. I’d been waiting all day for some whisper of the voice ’s call. With my luck, the flameroot would wear off the very moment the danger had ended.
We resumed our trek, our pace brisker thanks to our new confidence in Taran’s health. He kept Alixe and I entertained with shadow magic creations that grew increasingly obscene, while Luther fell further and further behind.
The storm continued its foreboding approach to land, bringing stronger winds and a darker sky. With the sun obscured by the clouds, it was nearly impossible to know how close we were to nightfall—and, thus, how close we were to Umbros.
Every turn along the coast had us stretching our necks for a glimpse of the realm’s infamous black rock canyons, only to be greeted with more Ignios sand.
I second-guessed everything about my plan. What if the King flew overhead on his gryvern or his guard came riding over the dunes? What if they were already waiting for us at the border?
Worse—what if Taran’s fear had been right, and Umbros brought even more danger than Ignios?
We’d been safe enough in the abandoned Mortal City, but I, in my infinite wisdom, had thrown around the weight of my Crown and forced us to go, all on some hunch that onward lay our salvation.
I looked back at Luther. He’d been staring at the ground, his hood pulled low, but his eyes rose to mine in an instant.
Trust your instincts, my Queen , he’d told me. Above all else, trust yourself .
After what I’d done last night, did he still believe those words? Did he still believe in me?
I laid a palm across my chest. Seconds later, I got my answer: with a slow nod, he did the same.
“Wait,” Alixe hissed from up ahead.
We’d approached a rocky outcrop where she crouched at the point, peering down the beach.
“Three guards,” she whispered. “They don’t look like they’re searching.”
“Might be a watchpoint to look for anyone crossing the border off the Ring Road,” Taran said.
“Can they kill us just for that?” I asked.
“Not unless they realize who you are,” Luther said.
“We could wait here and hope my magic returns to hide us,” Alixe suggested. “But the longer we wait, the more we risk being caught.”
Taran pushed his shirt up his forearms, an excited gleam in his eyes. “There are three of them and four of us. If we strike first and I use my shield to stop their flames, we can take them down.”
“An unprovoked attack on Ignios soil might start an entirely different war,” Alixe warned.
Luther nodded. “There’s no good option.” He turned to me. “It’s your decision, my Queen.”
I stiffened.
Right ... Authority. Control. Deference.
This was what I’d demanded from them.
Though the Crown was hidden away inside me, I felt its weight on my head more than I ever had.
I looked at Taran. “Do you still have your magic?” He conjured a shadow spear in response, and my insides knotted. “Then we go now—but we don’t attack. Not unless we have no other choice.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” they answered in unison.
They began moving like clockwork, their years of training together now acutely apparent. Luther issued commands about formation, attack strategy, what to say, when and how to retreat. Alixe and Taran acknowledged each order, their faces hard and battle-ready, adjusting their weapons.
Luther came behind me and pulled my cloak from my pack, then laid it across my shoulders. Despite the hard line of his mouth, his hands moved tenderly as he swept my hair over my shoulder and tucked it behind my ears to hide it from sight.
He wrapped a thick scarf around my neck and pulled my hood low over my head. “Keep your face down when we pass.” He brushed a thumb along my cheekbone below my eyes. “Save these for me.”
His palms skimmed over my hips and thighs to check each of my weapons. His touch left a trail of heat that set my already overwarm body ablaze.
Instinctively, I arched toward him. It was a biological imperative, this eternal craving to be closer, closer, and closer to him still.
My mind went to wildly inappropriate places as I wondered if that need would ever feel sated, even if his body was on me, inside me . He might have read those thoughts, with the way his mouth lingered near mine and his eyes burned with hunger.
But a moment later, he was gone, standing with Taran and debating the best non-magical defenses.
Still, the heat remained. My core was boiling, provoked by his protective touches and the mountain of heavy fabric suffocating me in my textile coffin.
“Alixe,” I whispered, pulling her to the side. “If things go badly, I want you to take Taran and run to Umbros without me.”
“You expect me to abandon my Queen to the enemy?” She looked offended I would even ask.
“You heard the King back in Mortal City. He wants me alive, but he told his guards to kill all of you. If it looks like we’ll be captured, we’re better off separating. You can go to Umbros and get Taran a healer, then send for help.”
Though conflict was scrawled all over her face, she lowered her chin. “Yes, Your Majesty, if that’s your order—but Luther will never agree.”
I took a deep breath. “I know.”
We gathered in a cluster, Alixe in front and the men close at my sides, and made the turn around the corner into view.
The distant chatter of the Ignios guards fell silent.
We walked on, my chin tucked and eyes lowered. I nervously fidgeted with my scarf, fighting the growing urge to rip it off my inflamed skin.
“ Shit ,” Taran said under his breath. He flexed his hand. “My magic’s gone.”
My heart sank. I’d made the wrong call. Without Taran’s magic, we were entirely defenseless from the Ignios guards’ fire magic.
“Doesn’t matter,” Luther mumbled. “No turning back now.”
“Halt,” a voice barked from ahead. I didn’t dare look up at the sound of boots approaching. “What’s your business here?”
“Just passing through,” Alixe answered. “We’re on our way to the port in Umbros.”
“You’re supposed to stay on the Ring Road.”
“We heard the beaches of Ignios were too beautiful to miss,” Taran said. He let out a low whistle. “They do not disappoint. I love all your... uh... sand. And rocks. And... water. I think I even saw a tree somewhere—”
“You can’t be here,” the guard snapped. “Without an invitation from His Majesty the King, foreigners are to remain on the Ring Road.”
“Our apologies,” Alixe said. “The border is just ahead. Perhaps you might let us by this once so we can exit your realm with haste?”
A long silence followed, then quiet whispering and the crunch of footsteps on sand. Luther’s hand pressed lightly against my back as my three companions pushed in closer to me.
“When did you leave Arboros?”
“Just this morning,” Taran answered, giving me a suggestive elbow to the ribs.
“What were you doing there?”
“Hunting mortals.” He said it so happily, so eagerly. I would have shivered, if my skin wasn’t currently imitating the sun’s surface. “A family friend was hurt in the attack on Coeur?le. We heard the Guardians responsible might be there, and we wanted to find ‘em and make ‘em pay.”
“And did you?”
Taran bounced on his toes, his elbow prodding me again. “Let’s just say the guy won’t be clapping the next time he sees us.”
Movement caught my eye. One of the guards had come up behind me. Their gloved hand reached for my hood.
Luther’s arm curled around my waist and yanked me close to his chest. “Keep your hands off my mate,” he snarled.
The sound of blades sliding from their sheaths rang out, followed by the hiss of fire. Warmth bloomed through me and set my mind reeling. At first I thought I’d been hit by the Ignios magic, but Luther’s heartbeat was steady, his body still.
Perhaps it was the press of him against me—or the words he’d just spoken.
“You don’t tell us what to do, foreigner ,” the guard behind me spat.
“We’re not here to cause any trouble,” Alixe soothed. “Our friend meant no harm by it. They’re newly mated and still adjusting to the bond.”
“You think that was bad, try sharing a camp with them,” Taran joked. “None of us are getting any sleep.”
One of the other guards chuckled.
“They’re relentless, those two. All night long. Like rabbits.”
More laughter.
“I tried to join in last night and he stabbed me right in the balls. Me, his own flesh and blood! It’s still healing, wanna see the wound? Here, let me just take off—”
“Keep your pants on,” the guard behind me muttered. “You can continue to the border, but stay near the water. No wandering into the dunes.”
“We’ll head straight out,” Alixe agreed.
We immediately hurried past. Luther remained at my side, his arm locked around my waist.
I dared a glance forward, relieved to see an abrupt wall of black on the horizon—Umbros was finally within sight.
We might make it through this after all.
Once we were out of the guards’ earshot, Luther ordered Alixe and Taran to fall back, giving us a small window of privacy.
“Are you alright?” he asked. “I can feel the heat through your cloak.”
“I’m fine,” I said tightly.
I was not fine. My heart was racing, my blood pounding, my skin broiling. My hair was stuck to my face with sweat, my clothing soaked in it. The adrenaline brought on by the confrontation with the guards wasn’t fading—it was building , as if preparing for some greater fight.
“What I said back there, about you being my...” He cleared his throat. “I was only trying to scare the guard off. If it made you uncomfortable—”
“It didn’t,” I rushed out. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”
That was also not fine .
Even though I knew it was an act, hearing the word “mate” from his mouth, hearing him claim me in that profound, irrevocable way was...
Confusing, maybe. Surprising, definitely.
Breath-stealing. Heart-whirling. World-shifting.
I was never a woman who had dreamed of commitment. I’d always met any attempt to contain me with a stubborn resolve to push back harder. Henri’s marriage proposal had sent me running, and even when I’d eventually accepted, it had been with the grim awareness that his mortal life was short, and eventually I would be on my own again.
So to hear Luther call me mate, a bond that would permanently bind us through this life and beyond...
I should have been panicking. Shutting down, raising my walls. Fleeing for the hills.
And yet... I wasn’t.
I dabbed at my flushed, sweat-soaked face with the corner of my scarf. Gods, why was it so unbearably hot?
“Are the guards out of sight yet?” I asked.
“Not yet. Are you sure you’re feeling well?”
I turned my face up to him, trying to conjure up some semblance of a reassuring smile.
He stopped. “Diem, your eyes—they’re glowing .”
“They are? I mean, uh... good. My magic must be coming back.” I tugged the scarf loose from my neck. It was getting hard to breathe in this heat, let alone think.
Luther didn’t look convinced. “I’ve never seen them like that.” He squinted and leaned in. “That doesn’t look like Blessed Lumnos’s light.”
A slow rumble of thunder sounded across the sea, nearer this time. The telltale haze of approaching rain was visible on the horizon.
“Come on,” I urged, tugging on his cloak. “We’re almost to Umbros.”
“You promised you would say something if you started to feel worse.”
I clenched my jaw. I really needed to leave the promise-making to Luther.
“I do need a break,” I grudgingly admitted. “But not until we’re out of sight of the guards.”
“The beach is straight until the border. I’m not sure we’ll have a chance until we cross.”
“I can make it.”
Now even I was unconvinced.
Luther frowned. “At least have some water.” He grabbed his canteen and twisted off the cap. I reached for it and our hands collided, sending water sloshing over the top.
The second the drops hit my skin, they sizzled and disappeared.
We both stopped. We looked at each other, then down at my hand.
He tilted the canteen over my wrist. The streams of liquid hissed against my skin, then evaporated in a tiny white wisp of steam.
“Impossible,” he breathed.
“Is something wrong?” Alixe asked as she and Taran caught up to us.
“No,” I blurted out, snatching my wrist back. “Let’s keep going. We’re almost to Umbros.”
I turned before they could see me and walked as fast as I could for the border, the urge to escape Ignios becoming unbearable. I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I stayed on this beach much longer, I was going to combust.
Something scratched at the back of my neck, and I yanked my scarf off completely. There were holes along the fabric, their edges blackened and curled. It looked as if someone had held it over a candle, just to let it—
Burn.
My breath hitched. The voice was back. The godhood was still weak from the flameroot, only a fragment of my full reservoir, but my magic was unmistakably there.
A relieved laugh almost bubbled out of me, though one gnawing worry held me back.
I had never heard that command.
The voice had told me to do a lot of things—to fight , to destroy , even to kill . It had talked to me, taunted me, pushed me, challenged me.
But it had never told me to burn .
The others’ voices grew behind me. I could barely hear them over the crackle of a roaring fire building in my ears.
Burn.
“No,” I whispered. “Not here. Not yet.”
My sweat boiled away as quickly as it fell. I needed air, water, ice, relief, something to stop this torturous, inescapable heat.
The border was close, but still too far. Maybe if we ran—the guards would be suspicious, they might pursue us, but if we were faster...
I looked over my shoulder to gauge the distance.
“ Shit, Queenie,” Taran swore.
“You’re glowing,” Alixe gasped.
“My eyes, I know.”
“No, Diem, your hands,” Luther said.
I held up my palms and choked out a surprised cry. Every inch of my skin was bright red. Not just flushed or irritated—glowing, molten red.
I looked at the border, then the guards, then the border. The roaring grew in my ears, my vision tinging orange.
Burn.
“It’s too far,” I mumbled. “I... I can’t make it.” I shoved off my rucksack and fumbled with the clasp on my cloak.
Luther’s face filled with alarm. “What are you doing?”
“I need to cool off. It can’t wait.”
“The guards will see you,” Alixe hissed.
Burn.
With a frustrated cry, I yanked a dagger from my hip to slice through the cloak’s fastening. The heavy fabric fell from my shoulders, giving a flicker of sweet relief as the sea breeze gusted over my skin.
It lasted only a second as the suffocating, consuming heat roared back to life. I ripped off my weapons and staggered toward the shore, desperate to cool the inferno inside me.
Burn.
The moment I hit the sea, I collapsed to my knees. The water bubbled and steamed where it pooled around my skin.
Luther ran to my side and reached for me, and I scrambled to get away. “Stop—I don’t want to hurt you.”
He moved closer, undeterred. “Let me help you.”
“No! Luther, I—”
BURN.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
My control snapped. With hardly a choice, I surrendered.
And I burned.