Chapter 38
Week 3
Rapid
I never thought I could be genuinely scared of a female besides Yelana.
But I was very wrong.
Even Tomashi was keeping a wide birth from Sinta this week.
Dragon females were no joke when finishing their cycle.
Bunkered down in the loungeroom, playing CoD on our big screen, I was pretty determined to keep out of the storm.
I honestly didn’t know how to handle it. I tended to steer clear of the girls when this shit happened.
Normally I’d be running for the hills already.
But my Devil Eyes was fucking addictive, and weirdly adorable when grumpy.
Correction, when the grumpy wasn’t aimed at me.
Tensing when I catch her evolving scent of reptile and something smokey, I slip down on the couch until I’m laying across it and out of her sight.
“The TV is on.” She snaps. “I know you’re there.”
“Fuck.” I mutter. “Hey, Devil Eyes.” I croon.
She grunts and moves around the kitchen, digging around in the fridge and then the cupboards.
She mustn’t find what she’s looking for, because after a few minutes she slams a door and huffs.
“You okay, baby?” I call, pausing my game.
She walks around the couch to stand near my head, wearing one of my shirts and a pair of shorts.
“I’m hungry but I don’t know what I want.” She pouts, then shuffles her feet. “And I’m cold.”
Flinging back my checkered blanket, I hold out a hand and help her straddle me, then tell her to wait while I tug up my huge jumper that just so happened to be Tomashi’s.
She hesitantly follows my directions and lays against my chest so I can tug it down over us, cocooning her against me.
Her head pops out to rest against my neck, her soft hair tickling my chin.
“Better?” I murmur.
She purrs against me, melting into my body with a satisfied sigh.
Smiling, I wrap my arms around her and grab my game controller. “We can order some pizza later – whatever you want – and then go sit in the hot tub?”
“You are a fucking wet dream.” She mumbles and nuzzles her face into my neck.
Grinning, I go back to my game and snipe a few wanna-be soldiers.
She falls asleep sometime between games, so I spend an hour or two blitzing through matches, only stopping when Elijah and Fade enter the loungeroom.
“You guys want in?” I murmur.
“Fuck yeah.” Elijah agrees, stopping near me to bend and press a firm kiss to Sinta’s head.
Weirdly, I don’t mind his nearness, but I love the little moan she breathes.
Fade brushes a gentle hand over her head as he passes, grabbing a controller and claiming a seat.
Logging into a new game, we sit and quietly play until our stomachs start to rumble and Elijah calls dibs on feeding a very sleepy Sinta a slice of double pepperoni pizza with some of her mushrooms added to it.
It feels domestic, and intimate.
I love it.
Sinta
Coughing, a metallic taste in my mouth, I spit into the sink and twist my head under the tap for more water, swishing it before spitting again.
Lifting my head, meeting my reflection, I eye the blood still dripping from my nose.
I ignore the gathering pressure of tears and duck back down to the sink, cupping my hands beneath the water.
I’d woken up choking on my own blood, coughing and hacking like a thirty-pack-a-day smoker.
Mere minutes after I’d reached the bathroom the pain started – agonising fits of my stomach muscles seizing, my back aching.
It hurt so bad I wanted to curl in a ball and cry, wanted to knock myself out.
But I couldn’t.
The tears breaking through, my vision clouding, I wash my face and let the sound of running water disguise them, washing them down the drain with my blood.
I was a strong person. I believed I was a strong person.
Life had thrown enough at me to give me that impression.
But this constant pain, the constantly resurging aches. The migraines. The cramps. The fatigue. Constantly losing my appetite, then being ravenous enough to eat everything in sight.
It was getting to me. Breaking me.
Making me wonder if it was all really worth it.
The kicker was I couldn’t just vote to stop. I couldn’t hit a button and make it all pause.
It didn’t work like that.
I either went through this, or I died.
A very unlucky caterpillar inevitably becoming a butterfly.
I reminded myself what this was for.
I reminded myself that this pain had a purpose.
It didn’t make it any better.
Drying my face with the towel, sinking to sit on the floor and curling my knees into my gut, I hold the soft cotton to my face and allow myself to cry.
Muffling the noise, my shoulders shaking, every pang of hurt adding more weight to the crushing pressure on my shoulders, I break on the bathroom floor.
This had been coming, I knew that rationally. No sane person finds out their entire life has been a lie and doesn’t cry at least once.
Breaking the seal on my emotions hadn’t helped. But Yelana was right – it’d been blocking my magic.
Reality was; no one got to choose when the breakdown hit.
Anymore than you could control the landing of a storm.
I don’t know how long I cried for, but eventually I lay down on the mat and curl into a ball, my sobs becoming quiet hitching breaths.
I could still taste my blood. The phantom feel of it coating my throat.
Gods, even this miserable period had me ready to cry mercy.
My dragon moves within me, watching me with sad eyes.
“I’m sorry.” I mumble, a tear escaping down my cheek. “I know this is necessary. But it hurts so bad.” I choke.
She purrs a deep, comforting rumble, her wings extending and pushing against my middle.
‘Not alone. Together.’
Sniffling, wiping at my face with the towel, I wasn’t sure if I had imagined that or not.
“Yeah. Together.” I agree.
She hums a long, low sound of affirmation, raising her head inside me.
She exhales a cloud of smoke that coats my insides like a hot mist, warming and soothing, easing the building pain.
It was almost better than the heat pad Imelda had given me.
“Have you always been able to do that?” I whisper, palming my stomach.
She gives a slow shake of her head in my mind’s eye, curling herself into a ball, her large eyes closing.
‘Hard. Sleepy.’
Calming, feeling the panic and hysteria fading, my pain dulled to a manageable level, I sit up against the sink.
“Thank you.” I sigh.
She says nothing in return, slumbering beneath my skin.
Raising my hands, cupping them before me, I close my eyes and breathe.
Concentrate. Feel. Project….
Warmth flickers in my palms. Small, thready. But there.
Eyes opening, I study the lick of green flame. Watched it dance, soaked up the warmth of it.
It was a fraction of what I was working towards. A promise of the future.
I cradle it to my chest like a precious gem, protecting it.
“We’re going to be okay.” I whisper, more to myself than her. “We’ll get through this, and we’ll get stronger together. No one can stop us.”
Not even myself.
I can have moments of weakness. I was a complex being of thought and emotion – we were entitled to feelings of doubt.
But I could do this.
We could do this.
Releasing a controlled breath, I think away the flame.
It winks out—not even a trail of smoke left behind.
Sniffling, clearing my throat, I stand and clean my face again.
Staring myself down in the mirror, taking in my reddened eyes, I see a female struggling to become herself.
I see someone fighting for herself. I hope she wins.
“I am going to be okay.” I say to her.
And I mean it.
Rapid
Scrubbing a hand across my chest, watching the suds of my body wash run down the drain, I dunk my head under the water and scrub my scalp.
My kraken performed flips in my middle, liking the fresh water on my skin, but not nearly as much as he loves the ocean.
I silently promised him we would go for a surf tomorrow, maybe even convince Sinta to come with us.
He moans a whale-like call of excitement.
We were both crazy for her. Sometimes it scared me, but then I look in those emerald-acid eyes and fall head over heels.
Head whipping to the side, I take in Tomashi standing in my bathroom, naked as the day he was born and holding open the door to my shower.
Our eyes locked, mine narrowed and his guarded.
“Where have you been?” I gruffly question.
It was well past midnight on a Friday, and normally I wouldn’t be so pissed with him, but ever since his confrontation with Sinta he’d been a ghost in this house.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d touched his dick – and that meant we hadn’t had sex in at least a week.
“Party in the dorms.” He murmurs, his entire body tense.
“Yeah? You have fun at this party?” I demand, leaning a hand against the wall and swivelling to face him.
His eyes land on my hard cock and darken from rich chocolate to blazing onyx, his chest rising with a breath.
“No. It wasn’t the same without you.” He rasps.
“You could have stayed in with the rest of us. It was game night, and you missed it.” I point out, not giving him an inch.
“I needed some space.” Is all he says.
“From Sinta.” I deduct.
He huffs a breath, his eyes rolling. “Do we have to talk about her?” He growls.
“There is the door.” I point at it, forcing my face to remain hard and blank, because I need him to understand the way he has been acting is not okay.
Not only towards Sinta, but the rest of us too. Ignoring me and the guys, disappearing, not trusting us, choosing to continue this little vendetta of his instead of listening when we ask him to stop.
I told Sinta that I’d protect him over her.
I hadn’t expected to be playing referee because Tomashi became a problem.
And I didn’t understand it. Sure, they had similar tempers, and sure they clashed sometimes.
But I couldn’t pinpoint the start of their issue.
Or rather, what had kickstarted Tomashi’s continued crusade against her.
“I just don’t trust her.” He insists.
“Good. She doesn’t trust you either.” I laugh darkly. “I mean, at this point you’ve done everything short of get her up on a stage before the entire school and tip pigs’ blood over her head. I’d say she has every right not to trust you – but you are sorely lacking a good reason to keep attacking her, Mashi.”
“She lied. About important shit – she even lied to the Academy.” He snarls. “How does that make me the bad guy? All I tried to do is expose her lies.”
“She didn’t lie.” I groan, turning off the shower and storming past him to grab my towel.
“She told the administration she was a Snake Shifter. Festos said she’s a Dragon. How is that not a lie?!”
“She didn’t know what she was. Mr O had to tell her – and then he decided her identity needed to be protected.” I argue, then close my eyes and curse.
Sinta hadn’t wanted him to know, and here I was blurting out her secrets.
Fuck, I was a shit boyfriend. Boyfriends were supposed to keep their girlfriends’ secrets, dammit.
“She hasn’t shifted?” He mutters, his gruff voice layered with disbelief.
Leaning over the sink, my head hanging, I give it a rough shake and call myself every fucking version of ‘idiot’ I could think of. Including in other languages.
“I’m not talking to you about her secrets.”
“But if she’s never shifted, that means she is……..” Face pale and tight in the mirror, shifting uneasily, he struggles to meet my eyes. “She’s undergoing the Fever.”
“You accused her of fucking Festos. And now Elijah keeps giving her funny looks and she keeps glancing at him like she’s wondering if he doesn’t trust her.” Snorting, I pin him with a pissed look. “You wanted her gone but all you are doing is creating drama between us all.”
He glances away, either unable to take the accusation in my eyes or not willing to own it.
Turning, I grab his chin and make him look at me.
A move I’d never tried with him – since he is typically the dominant of the two of us – but I need him to take this seriously and fucking answer me.
“What the hell is going on with you? You give me a straight answer, or you walk out of my room right the fuck now.” I growl.
He examines my face, his lips thinning, looking like he doesn’t want to answer me.
But he breaks for me, wrapping a hand around my forearm like he needs the contact.
“My mother called.” Is all he says.
I flinch, my hand falling to rest on his chest. “Shit.”
“A distant cousin of hers is migrating to the states from Faerie. He apparently has many young, eligible daughters. She wants to arrange a meeting between me and them.” He sneers.
My stomach drops, twisting into painful knots. “She what? How long has this been going on?” I croak.
“Since Bastien left. I was going to say something but then he took off looking for some chick and when we got here she—Sinta,” He grits when I glare at him. “Was already here and I thought she was going to be like every other crazy bitch that’s tried to get close to us. I just…… didn’t know how to handle it.”
I don’t say anything. We’d all met in Faerie around the age of eight, and we’d been inseparable ever since. So every single one of us knew the complicated relationships we each shared with our parents.
Except for Fade and Elijah. Fade’s grandmother adored him, and Elijah was lucky enough to be born into a supportive and loving family.
My father wasn’t abusive, but he was rarely there. He was the kind of parent that thought money solved everything and he showed his love by giving you expensive gifts.
He wasn’t perfect, but he also wasn’t Empress Cardina Zuwei.
“Are you going to?” I ask roughly.
“I told her to shove it. She said she had half a mind to cut me off.” He laughs, but it’s a broken and hurt sound.
“Your fathers?” I question.
“They each sent me their own messages of disappointment. I am now faced with an ultimatum – accept a relationship with one of these distantly-related-to-me females or find a way to pay for the Academy without my trust funds.”
“I’d pay for you to attend.” I immediately offer.
“You and I both know that isn’t an option.” He instantly denies.
Right. Because it would raise too many questions and make people look too closely and he couldn’t have that.
Sometimes I wanted to scream and trash something. How is it fair that the one guy I want to fucking go out with, hold hands, kiss in public, and openly love has to be born to a bigoted bitch people referred to as the Ice Empress.
“It’s not fair.” I husk.
“It doesn’t change anything between us.” He murmurs.
“Yeah. I’ll still be a dirty little secret no matter who your mother marries you off to.” I mutter.
“Rapid.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Pulling away abruptly, I make my way into my room with him following close behind. “Just promise me you’ll stop taking your shit out on Sinta. She doesn’t deserve it, and I’m sick of it. We’re official, me and her. And I don’t want to be a shitty boyfriend that can’t step in between you two because I’m with her and fucking you.”
He makes a choked sound, halting near the bed while I continue to my closet. “You two are together?”
“Yes. I would have told you sooner, but you keep fucking disappearing.”
He doesn’t say anything, so I go about grabbing a pair of sweats and dropping my towel, breathing deep and trying to calm my kraken.
He makes a sharp hissing sound, his tail lashing.
‘Asshole.’
I send him soothing thoughts, easing his temper.
A hand smooths up my spine just as I go to step into the pants, curling around my throat from behind.
Tomashi presses up against my back, his skin warm, and pulls my head back.
“I’m sorry.” He raps, his deep voice vibrating through his chest and into me.
“About what?” I mutter.
“I’ll play nice with Sinta—” I scoff, and he grunts. “I will…. make it up to her. And I’ll spend more time in the house, with the guys.”
“And your mother? What will you do about her?” I demand, though I know I shouldn’t push him.
“I was planning to negotiate. Ask her to hold off until the break or something. Buy myself some time to think.”
I hum, knowing it really was the best he could do.
“Are you still mad at me?”
“Maybe.”
His slides a hand around onto my abs, pushing it down and taking a tight hold of my dick.
I groan and push my hips into the hold, hungry for him even when I’m pissed.
“I bet I can make you feel better.” He croons and tips my head further back so he can nip at my mouth.
“Yeah. You can.” I gasp and rip out of his hold, pushing him back towards the bed.
He growls, his eyes flickering red.
His kitsune pushing to the surface.
Grinning, I push him again.
He snarls and flicks out a hand, black-red power stretching forward to wrap around my wrists and tie them together. It buzzes against my skin.
Teases me with little exciting zaps.
My smile turns wicked, knowing I’m about to get fucked hard.
His answering grin is menacing to the core, dripping with dark carnal promise.
We don’t leave my room for the rest of the night.