13. Cami
CHAPTER 13
CAMI
“ O h.”
It was a poor response.
But I had no idea how to react to Lucifer admitting he was jealous .
This was also the longest Lucifer and I had ever spoken to one another, and he was being… candid. I wasn’t sure how to interpret any of this. “Are you… still jealous?” I hedged.
“Extremely,” he murmured. “But the reasons for that jealousy are shifting.”
My brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged. “It’s not relevant to my apology. I’m simply trying to say that I acknowledge I haven’t gone easy on you. You’ve not just threatened my Source, but my heart, too. Fae have died for much less, Camillia.”
My chest tightened at his mention of an apology, then my heart sped up at what I perceived as a threat. “I’m not trying to be a threat, Lucifer.”
I meant that.
But the chilling magic against my breastbone appeared to contradict me, because the necklace was humming with cool energy.
It seemed to grow colder with each passing minute, Lucifer’s closeness intensifying the chill. I wasn’t sure what it meant. Was it a warning of some kind? Or a way to help chase away his heat?
“That remains to be seen,” he murmured, twirling me again. His response had me wondering if he’d heard the questions running rampant in my mind, but then I realized he was replying to my statement about not being a threat.
“I don’t want your Source,” I promised him. “And I don’t want…” I trailed off. I’d almost said your prince , but I caught Melek standing nearby with Az and Ajax, his focus entirely on me.
Actually, all three of them were studying me, likely searching for signs of discomfort. Or perhaps just wondering what their Hell Fae King had wanted to say to me.
“My prince is very alluring,” Lucifer said as he spun me in his arms, placing my back to his chest and his lips to my ear once more. “Were you about to deny craving his touch?”
I held Melek’s sparkly gaze, noting the concern flickering deep within. It was an uncharacteristic gleam, one that I wasn’t sure I’d seen on him before. “Is he worried about what you’re going to do to me?” I asked, ignoring Lucifer’s question.
“No, he knows I won’t harm you.”
I nearly glanced over my shoulder to check his expression, but I already knew it wouldn’t give anything away. “I wish I could be that confident,” I muttered, more to myself than to him.
“You have every right to not be confident in my intentions,” Lucifer replied, his words shocking me into silence. “I’ve threatened you more than once, punished you in foreign ways, and more or less expressed my deep disdain at mating my prince.”
He spun me around, my legs clumsy due to my shocked state.
“I don’t trust you, Camillia,” he told me, his statement far less surprising than everything else he’d said. “So you shouldn’t trust me either. But I think it’s time for us to determine a way forward, to perhaps learn to trust one another… for our mates.”
That last part was uttered as he moved me toward the floor again, his lips near my throat.
I could hardly breathe by the time he righted me, my body on fire yet cold at the same time.
It was such a juxtaposition of climate, my skin burning while my necklace resembled ice against my chest. Is the spell meant to make me feel submissive? To willingly agree with whatever deal he’s about to propose?
“What are you offering?” I hedged, trying to discern his true intentions, as well as test my theory.
“We’re not making a deal, Camillia,” he replied. “Not here. Not yet. I promised Az I only wanted to talk to you, and I’m not one to break promises.”
I stared at him. “But your entire world revolves around deals.”
“Not to sound repetitive, but you don’t know me very well. While, yes, deals are of significant value to me, there are some things in life that can’t be dictated by formal agreements. Sometimes, we have to put faith in others to test their true intentions.”
“Is that what this is?” I asked. “You putting faith in me to see if I’ll betray you?”
He considered me for a moment, our hips subtly swaying to the slow beat. “Honestly, Camillia, I suppose I’m trying to encourage you to have a little more faith in me and my intentions. And in return, I’m going to try to do the same with you.”
“Does that mean you don’t want to kill me?”
His lips twitched. “Oh, I still want to kill you, Camillia. Whether intentional or not, you’re a threat.” His palm moved against my lower back, his arm enveloping me. “But just because I want to do something doesn’t mean I will.” Those words were uttered against my ear, his tone shifting downward an octave.
“That doesn’t make me feel safe around you,” I admitted in a whisper.
“Then we’re even, Camillia De la Croix. Because I don’t feel safe around you either.” His lips ghosted across my pulse, causing my earrings to flare in time with my necklace.
It sent an ice cube down my spine, one that had my eyes going wide in response. It was so unexpected and bizarre, and contrasted deeply with the heat pouring off Lucifer’s muscular form.
Again I tried to decipher the magic imprisoning me in this dress.
Something was happening.
Something strange.
“I could never hurt you, Camillia,” Lucifer said, his voice whisper-soft. “You’re tied to my heart now, to my very soul. Which is why I’m going to confide in you.”
I gripped his shoulders, his nearness making me dizzy. Or maybe that was the bizarre temperature battle occurring over my skin.
Whatever he was about to confide was likely related and would hopefully explain these conflicting sensations.
“Melek loves his games,” he started, confirming what I suspected.
Melek enchanted this dress.
He lied about the figments.
The true punishment is about to begin.
I squeezed my thighs, hoping against all hope that the sensual torment wouldn’t begin between my legs. I couldn’t handle that embarrassment again, the chain having been too much.
But was it, though? I thought, recalling the Hell Fae nightclub experience. I’d been overwhelmed and humiliated, yes. However, I’d also been furious. I’d held my head up high. I’d battled that room with my confidence.
It was horrible of him to do that to me, another part of me thought, the voice coming from that strange, unrecognizable place again. A place of insecurity, one I hadn’t even realized I possessed.
“But something you need to understand is that my prince plays games with those he fancies,” Lucifer went on, drawing me back to his comments on Melek. “It’s his way of courting you.”
I frowned. What?
“Everything he’s done has been for your protection, from the necklace he once gifted you to his mating vows to his visits here in the Midnight Fae Realm. He’s not trying to hurt you, Camillia. He’s trying to win your affection and to prove his own worth.” Lucifer finally pulled away from my neck, his eyes blazing with passion as he stared down at me.
I gazed back, confused and a little lost.
I’d expected him to confide his intentions. To finally reveal his punishment.
Not talk about Melek and his affections for me.
“He’s sad, Camillia,” Lucifer whispered. “I can’t tell you how rare an emotion that is for Melek.”
I blinked at him. “He’s sad?” I didn’t doubt that it was rare . I hadn’t known Melek for nearly as long as Lucifer had, but I knew enough to understand how abnormal that had to be for the playful Hell Fae Prince.
“For lack of a better explanation, I think he’s feeling rejected.” Lucifer canted his head, our bodies still swaying to the beat, which hadn’t changed much over the last two songs. “Is it your intention to reject him as a mate?”
My eyes widened. “I…”
“You’d been about to tell me that you didn’t want my prince, yes?” he prompted, referring to our conversation from minutes ago. “You said you didn’t want my Source, then started to say you didn’t want something else. I assume you were going to name Melek. Am I wrong?”
I wasn’t sure how our conversation had evolved into my feelings for Melek, or how we’d even ended up on the dance floor.
Typhos Lucifer wanted to kill me. He hated me. He thought I was a threat.
Yet he was holding me with care and trying to have an intimate conversation with me.
All while my mates watched.
I glanced their way but found the three of them conversing amongst themselves. It seemed they were no longer concerned about me being in the arms of the Hell Fae King.
Maybe this had gone on long enough that they didn’t see Lucifer as a threat any longer.
Do I see him as a threat? I wondered, thinking back to what he’d said about never being able to hurt me, how I was tied to his heart and soul.
Yet he’d also expressed his desire to end me.
An honest depiction of our relationship, I supposed. Perhaps the most honest he’d been with me to date.
Oh, he’d admitted to wanting to kill me before, but tonight he’d said desiring something and doing something were two very different actions.
“Camillia?” he prompted, trying to draw my focus back to him.
My gaze slid his way, only to pause as a head of blonde hair caught my eye, the glimmer shining beneath the moonlight. I swung my attention back to it, the color reminding me of my mother.
But the woman was nowhere to be seen.
A trick of the light? I wondered, frowning.
Lucifer’s lips grazed my cheek. “I want an answer, Camillia. If you’re going to break my prince’s heart, I need to know so I can pick up the pieces and heal him.”
“You’re not going to threaten me into being with him instead?” I asked, somewhat surprised by my own response, as well as the tone I’d used to issue it. There was a lot of deep-seated anger inside me, perhaps being bolstered by that foreign voice I’d heard twice now in my thoughts.
“If you don’t see how worthy my prince is, then your punishment will simply be to never experience him in all his beauty,” Lucifer said, a hint of anger underlining his tone. However, it wasn’t the kind of anger that frightened me. It was a different kind. The kind spoken by a man possessive of his mate.
He twirled me as a new song started, his movements a little harsher than before. Not violent, but dominant. Like he was trying to bring me to heel.
“Melek is a gift from the heavens,” he told me. “A beautiful soul. I may not always agree with his actions, but everything he does is for a reason. He’s not malicious. He’s pure. And the games he’s played with you have all been in your favor.”
“They’ve all pissed you off,” I countered.
“Indeed they have,” he agreed. “But that’s because Melek is pushing me on purpose. He believes you’re tied to our future. Sometimes, I understand why. Right now, I do not.”
I bristled. “You say that like it’s an insult.”
“Because it is one,” he returned before dipping me to the floor once more, his nose touching mine. “You’re rejecting my heart. And I think you’re a fool for doing so.”
“I haven’t rejected him.”
“You haven’t claimed him yet, either.”
I grabbed Lucifer’s lapels, holding our bodies together as he righted us once more. “It’s hard to claim someone who is always playing games.”
“Then open your eyes and realize that he hasn’t been playing a game since you arrived here. He’s been trying to help, to ensure your safety while I calmed down enough to see reason.” He whirled me around, pressing his chest to my back yet again. “He’s your guardian angel, Camillia. Accept that. Or be kind and reject him.”
He released me to step around me, ending our dance.
I grabbed his hand on instinct, not willing to let him have the final word, and a thunderous energy rippled up my arm. Both of us glanced down at where we were joined, his brow furrowing.
I went to release him but couldn’t, my palm seemingly glued to his.
“What is this?” he demanded.
“I… I don’t know.” I tried to take a step back, but my legs refused to move.
No. Not my legs… my shoes .
“It’s this… this dress ,” I hissed, my free hand going to the fabric to pull it away from me.
Lucifer frowned at the offending material, then reached out to touch it himself. A snarl left him as he yanked his palm away, only the gown went with him as ice-cold power rippled through every inch of my being.
I shuddered in response, the sensation overwhelming and crawling over every inch of my skin.
Az, Ajax, I thought, trying to find them in the crowd.
Instead, I locked gazes with a ghost.
One I hadn’t seen in… in ages.
But those ice-blue eyes belonged to Mystika De la Croix. My mother.
“ Camillia ,” Lucifer growled, snapping my attention back to him.
I gasped at the sight before me, his pained expression and gritted teeth utterly at odds with the man I’d just been dancing with.
But it was the strange strand of white hair that really captured my focus.
It reminded me of the Source.
And it was a glaring difference from his otherwise dark hair.
“What…?” I… I didn’t…
His hand was still stuck to mine, his opposite palm holding my dress.
My now- glowing dress.
Gold flickers. White sparks. Freezing cold energy .
I inhaled, the power seeming to seep into my veins, reminding me of the time I’d borrowed his Source to fix the portal. Only this was different. It wasn’t intentional at all. It was… it was forced .
The magic in the dress, I thought again, immediately trying to latch onto the strand I’d noticed earlier. The cool power reminded me of Melek again, except this couldn’t be him. He would never do this to Lucifer.
“ Fuck ,” the Hell Fae King gritted out, still trying to free himself from whatever was happening between us.
It had all gone down so fast, the crowd just now seeming to notice something was wrong. Very, very wrong , I thought, searching again for my mates.
The three of them were coming toward us now.
But I couldn’t let them reach me and Lucifer.
If they touched us, they might get sucked into whatever the hell this was.
“Take us to the Hell Fae Realm,” I told Lucifer.
He glared at me. “No. No fucking way am I letting you near my Source.”
“I don’t know what’s happening!” I snapped at him. “And I don’t want to risk Az, Ajax, and Melek being stuck in whatever the fuck this is!”
His attention went to the three fae trying to get through the crowd to reach us. Meanwhile, mine went to the ghost lurking nearby.
She was still here.
Her blonde hair waving in an invisible wind.
Her lips pressed into a disapproving line.
Her gaze piercing.
Only for her visage to be obscured as someone moved right through her ethereal form.
A fucking ghost, I thought, trying to shake the image from my head. I’m losing my mind.
The strands of power were growing rapidly around me, the icy kiss tracing goose bumps over my arms and legs.
I tracked the energy, searching for the source of the spell again, wanting to unravel it.
Zakkai , I realized, trying to find him in the crowd.
But there were too many fae.
And this was all happening in the blink of an eye.
“Lucifer!” I shouted as he tried to again yank himself away, only for more of his power to surge into me. Through me.
I felt it pouring into my being and going somewhere deep, to a cavern I didn’t quite understand.
But that cavern was linked to the magical energy swirling around my dress. I could see it now, the energy strands almost tangible.
I tugged on one as Lucifer wrapped his arms around me. “Hold on,” he demanded.
Then the world disappeared.
As did Lucifer’s touch.
But the energy remained, capturing me in a cloud of chilling fog.
The frosty tendrils writhed, pulsed, and beat at my spirit. Angry and cold. Fierce and terrifying.
I yanked on the mist-like strands anyway, determined to free myself from its frigid grip.
Searing warmth sliced through me, drawing a scream from my throat as fiery fingers dug into my very soul. I shoved it away, not wanting any of it.
Only the ice.
The spell.
The fucking dress .
I clawed at the fabric, my mind unraveling as the tendrils of energy fractured around me. I could feel it failing. Feel the invisible bars around me shaking beneath the force of my fight.
Just a little more, I thought, pummeling at the now-visible energy with my own force of will while I ripped off the necklace.
It didn’t fly back up to my throat.
The earrings were next.
They didn’t return to my ears.
Then I focused on the remains of the golden material, shredding the threads with my fingertips and mind. It was all connected—the entangling spell, the cold energy, the siphon .
I dug deep into the well inside me, found Lucifer’s energy, and shoved it out of me with as much force as I could muster, shattering the final bars on my energy-like prison.
Hot white light responded in kind, causing me to blink into oblivion.
I was nowhere and somewhere at the same time.
Floating. Lost. No longer corporeal.
My eyes opened and shut, but all I saw was white. Pure, blinding white .
It was silent.
Still.
And cold.
Oh, so very…cold.
Until someone stepped into view. Someone framed by gorgeous white wings.
I blinked at the angel, startled to see her before me.
She was no longer in an ethereal state like she’d been in at the Interrealm Fae Ball, her ghostlike appearance more solid now, too.
“M-Mom?” I said, my voice raspy with disuse. Or perhaps from screaming for an undetermined amount of time. I really didn’t know. I couldn’t even remember why I’d been screaming or how I’d ended up here.
Maybe I’m dead?
“Hello, Camillia,” my mother greeted, ensnaring my attention. “Welcome to utopia.”
“Utopia?” I echoed.
She smiled. “Yes, my dear. Utopia .”