22. Arenwen
22
ARENWEN
T he last rays of sunlight paint the courtyard in shades of amber and violet. I sink to my knees on the stone, the chill seeping through my thin dress. My daily ritual brings a measure of peace, even with my captor's looming presence nearby.
Kai is in the training ring not too far away. His wings flare as he goes through his motions, the scarred edges catching the dying light. He's been doing this more lately - finding excuses to linger while I pray.
"Sweet goddesses, grant me strength..." My voice carries through the evening air. From the corner of my eye, I catch the subtle shift in Kai's posture. His shoulders lose their rigid set, wings settling into a more relaxed position. He starts to slow.
I continue my prayer, but my focus wavers. I'm too busy wanting to watch him, his skilled body going through the motions. And while he stays focused on what he's doing, I sense his awareness of my every movement. A predator's instinct, wrapped in the pretense of disinterest.
"Guide my path through darkness..." My words falter as Kai stretches, his wings extending to their full span. The display would intimidate most, but I've grown accustomed to these subtle reminders of his power.
Each evening prayer follows this dance. He arrives under various pretexts -sharpening weapons, training, whatever it takes to get him near me. Yet his breathing always syncs with my devotions, tension bleeding from his frame as my prayers fill the silence.
"Blessed be your—" A cool breeze stirs my hair, and I tuck a wayward strand behind my ear. Kai's gaze flicks to me before sliding into another movement. But I've caught the way his eyes soften when he thinks I'm lost in prayer, how the cruel set of his mouth eases into something less harsh.
My next words come slower, deliberate. Not for any divine entity, but for the broken warrior who finds solace in my faith while denying his need for it. Sometimes I think this is the only time he listens to me.
"And I pray you give me the strength and devotion of my grandmother." Something I pray every day. "To follow in her steps and choose the right paths. To all the powers above, I pray."
As I start to stand, I notice Kai has stopped moving at all. Instead, he's staring at me. "Your grandmother." He cocks his head, studying me. "You mention her often."
I'm surprised by his question. But maybe I shouldn't be. We've been opening up to each other more and more. "Evangeline, my grandmother, is renowned in our faith. I could learn a lot about her."
"Tell me about her." His wings fold closer, creating a dark cocoon that blocks the cooling night air.
"She was so devout." I shift on my knees, remembering stories of her as I grew up. "She was a child when the orcs invaded Earth, and when all the others went below ground she refused. She held fast to her faith." I sigh, knowing this next part will only give him reason to doubt me. "One day, she was taken by the gods - for her commitment. She was given a life away from the wretched planet that had turned its back on her."
Kai walks toward me, violet eyes gleaming in the gathering darkness. "And she survived through... prayer?" The usual mockery is absent from his tone.
"Her faith kept her safe." I nod. "And if the legends are believed, it gave her a way out of a terrible situation." Just like me, I don't add. "It gives the rest of us hope."
"Hope." He tests the word like an unfamiliar weapon. "What good is hope against steel and magic?"
"It's kept us all going. Through everything." I shrug. "I don't see why it can't be consider more powerful than anything else."
Kai closes the distance between us. Instead of looming over me as usual, he shifts to the side, looking at me like he's trying to understand. "Why do humans cling to beliefs that bring them pain?"
"Faith doesn't bring the pain. It helps us endure it." I meet his gaze. "My grandmother used to say even the darkest night holds stars, if you remember to look up." Or that's what I've heard.
"And you?" His voice roughens. "What do you see in your darkest night?"
"Purpose. Like she did." The words come steady despite my racing heart. "Each prayer is a reminder that suffering shapes us, but doesn't define us."
Kai falls silent, his expression unreadable in the deepening dusk. Questions spill from him as stars emerge overhead - about rituals, beliefs, the source of such conviction. For once, he listens without interrupting, without twisting my words into weapons.
And I wonder if he can feel all the changes happening between us, too.
Light streams through the kitchen windows as I prepare Kai's meal while he's away at training. The sharp blade moves in practiced strokes through the zynthra, its crisp flesh yielding beneath my touch. My thoughts drift to violet eyes and ash-gray wings, to the contradictions that draw me deeper into his darkness.
The quillnash sizzles in the pan, its tangy aroma filling the air. Like him - sharp and bold on the surface, but complex underneath. I add dreelk leaves as I think about Kai and all the ways he's letting me in. Both physically and emotionally - and I want it all.
My hands tremble as I arrange the roasted meat. I shouldn't crave the possessive gleam in his eyes when others approach me, shouldn't feel my pulse quicken when rage transforms his angular features into something deadly and beautiful. But I do. His cruelty should repel me - instead, I see the wounds beneath his armor, the need for control born from having none.
The brimbark stems snap satisfyingly as I prepare them, much like his patience when someone threatens what he considers his. My fingers brush the bruise on my wrist from where he grabbed me yesterday, pulling me behind him when a visiting warrior looked too long in my direction. The mark should frighten me. Instead, it sends heat coursing through my veins.
I arrange everything perfectly, knowing how he notices details. Each time his walls crack, revealing vulnerability beneath the hardened exterior, it feels like a victory. Like last night in the courtyard, when genuine curiosity replaced his usual mockery. Those moments make the challenge of loving someone so broken worth every struggle.
His darkness calls to something in me - not to change him, but to give him an outlet for his darkness. To be the flame he can't extinguish, no matter how hard he tries.
The sound of his steps announces his arrival. My heart races as I turn, meeting violet eyes that soften imperceptibly at the sight of his favorite meal. These small moments of connection, when his mask slips just slightly, remind me why I've chosen this path into his shadows.
Holding his guess, I sink to my knees, the stone floor cool against my skin. The plate rests steady in my upturned palms as I lower my head, dark hair falling in waves around my face. My pulse quickens as his boots stop before me.
"Little flame." His voice carries that edge of possession that makes my breath catch.
The plate lifts from my hands. His fingers thread through my hair, nails grazing my scalp. I lean into his touch, seeking more of the electric connection that sparks between us.
His hand stills. The silence stretches, weighted with unspoken questions. I dare to peek up through my lashes. Kai's violet eyes have darkened, wings half-spread in an unconscious display of dominance. His jaw tightens as he studies my willing surrender.
"You..." He trails off, fingers resuming their path through my hair. Each stroke sends tingles across my skin. "This is a nice surprise."
I press closer to his hand, drawn to his darkness in a way I'm tired of denying. The gesture makes his wings snap fully open, casting shadows across us both. His other hand grips my chin, tilting my face up to meet his gaze.
His fingers tighten in my hair, not enough to hurt. Testing. Always testing. I stay pliant in his grasp, watching emotion war across his angular features. The predator in him wants to crush this submission, prove it false. But something else makes him hesitate, studying me with an intensity that steals my breath.
He ultimately takes a seat, and I settle next to him, loving the proximity, the way he keeps touching me throughout it. When he finishes, he drags me into his lap and feeds me. I curl up into him, enjoying the comfort.
After the meal, Kai leads me down the winding corridor to his private sanctuary. The library doors swing open, revealing floor-to-ceiling shelves packed with leather-bound tomes. Ancient scrolls and delicate manuscripts fill ornate cases, their spines embossed with script I can't decipher.
"You seem... interested in learning." His wings twitch as he crosses to a shelf, scanning titles. "Perhaps it's time you expanded your knowledge beyond prayers."
I trail my fingers along the polished wood, breathing in the scent of parchment and ink. "I'd like that."
Kai selects several volumes, the muscles in his back rippling as he stretches to reach higher shelves. Each movement holds calculated grace, like a predator stalking prey. But his expression, when he turns, lacks its usual sharp edges.
"Here." He settles onto the plush couch, wings spreading across its back. A gesture beckons me closer. "Tales of Aerasak's history. Before humans arrived."
I sink down beside him, careful to maintain space between us. The first book's pages crackle as they open, revealing intricate illustrations of battles and ancient cities. Kai's arm brushes mine as he leans in to point out details.
"The founding of New Solas." His voice drops lower, intimate. "When xaphan first claimed this territory."
The warmth of his body and the soothing cadence of his words draw me deeper into the story. My eyes grow heavy as he describes epic conflicts and fallen empires. Without meaning to, I lean closer, head drooping against his shoulder.
Instead of pushing me away, his wing curls around me like a blanket of shadow. The last thing I register is his fingers combing through my hair, gentle in a way that contradicts everything I know about him.
"Rest, little flame." The words float through my consciousness as sleep claims me.
I wake to silk sheets and plush pillows, confusion clouding my mind. The mattress dips as I shift, so different from my usual pallet. Moonlight streams through tall windows, casting silver patterns across unfamiliar bedding.
My heart stutters as reality crashes in. This is Kai's bed. The same one I've watched him sleep in countless nights from my position on the floor.
"Finally awake?" His deep voice rumbles beside me.
I jolt upright, clutching sheets to my chest. Kai lounges against the headboard, wings spread across dark wood. His violet eyes gleam in the darkness as he watches me process my surroundings.
"I..." Words fail as I try to make sense of this change. "Why am I?—"
"Don't mistake this for kindness." His fingers brush my hair back, the gesture possessive. "You're mine. Where you sleep is my choice."
The warning in his tone sends a thrill through me, but not from fear. Everything is his choice and he chose to have me right here. Next to him. His proximity sets my nerves alight, awareness crackling between us like lightning before a storm.
"I understand." I sink back into the pillows, hyper-aware of his body heat beside me.
His wing stretches over me, feathers brushing my arm. "Do you?" Challenge threads through his words. "Or are you just saying what you think I want to hear?"
I turn to face him, studying the sharp planes of his face in the moonlight. Scars mark his bare chest, testament to battles won and lost. But it's the shadows in his eyes that draw me in—the complexity beneath his cruel facade.
"I understand more than you think." My voice comes out steadier than I feel.
His hand cups my face, thumb tracing my bottom lip. "Dangerous words, little flame." But he doesn't pull away. Instead, his wing tightens around me, cocooning us in darkness.
The gesture speaks louder than his warnings. Something shifts between us, delicate as a butterfly's wing and just as fragile. I close my eyes, letting his presence envelope me as sleep tugs at my consciousness once more.