Her Fearless Ronin (The Syndicates #4)

Chapter 10

Jiro

S tepping into the dimly lit hotel room, my heart pounded in my chest as I looked at Hope, my eyes trailing down her back to her perfectly shaped bottom molded like a second skin by her dress.

She was standing there, a vision of temptation personified, her eyes locked onto mine with a mix of apprehension and desire. Every fiber of my being was on fire, a battle raging within me that I wasn’t sure I could win.

A part of my conscience was still screaming at me to do the right thing, to walk away from the edge of this precipice before I fell into a darkness from which there was no return. I knew, deep down, that nothing good could come of this. That my past, our past, was a minefield of pain and destruction and that involving her would only lead to more heartache.

But then I remembered when Oda had called me to tell me that he had followed her to a club owned by Valdez himself. The fear that had clenched my gut at that moment was a stark reminder that danger lurked around every corner, and I would do anything, even bleed, to protect her from it. I also remembered the burning jealousy that had surged through me as I watched her flirt with the barman and as I saw her dance with Oda. At that moment, I realized how potent my feelings for her were.

What had the years of sacrifice, of doing what was considered the right thing, what society and my own sense of duty demanded, ever brought me? What had I gained from it? A life of isolation, of darkness, of pain. And now, here was the one thing that could bring light into that darkness, the one person who could be my salvation.

I looked at Hope, my gaze unwavering, and made a decision. For once, I would take what I truly wanted. I would let go of the reins that held me back, the chains of morality and responsibility that bound me. She was my ikigai , my reason for being, and no matter how much I fought it, the truth was undeniable.

I wanted her. Needed her. And if I had only this one night, I would take it. I would take her. I remembered the burning jealousy, the fear of losing her to someone else, and the realization that life was short and uncertain.

I wanted to lay down the weapons I’d carried for so long, to shed the armor that had become a part of me. For once, I wanted to be just Jiro, a man who could find solace, happiness, and love in the arms of the woman who had become my everything.

My heart raced as I stepped closer to her, the desire burning within me almost unbearable. I couldn’t help but let my fingers trace the delicate curve of her collarbone before hooking onto the strap of her dress. In her eyes, I saw the apprehension again and even a hint of fear, and for a moment, I hesitated.

As I began to pull away, seeing the uncertainty etched across her features, her hand caught mine, stopping me. She pressed a soft kiss to my palm, sending a jolt of warmth through me.

“Are you sure you want this?” I asked softly, my voice laden with concern. “Nobody is forcing you. If you are having second thoughts, I…” My fingers started to slip away, but she held on, her touch grounding me in this fragile moment.

Her lips pressed against my palm again, and my heart swelled at her conviction. “No, I want this,” she replied, her voice steady but her eyes betraying a mixture of emotions. “I have no doubt about that, but I’m afraid.”

I was taken aback. Afraid? My mind raced, thinking of all the possibilities that could be causing her fear. But her next words cut through my thoughts, raw and honest, and a pang of sympathy tugged at my chest.

“I’m afraid of not liking it,” she continued, her gaze dropping to the floor. “I’ve only had one lover before, and it was a chore. I hated it.”

Her words struck me deeply. The vulnerability in her confession was a sharp contrast to the brave exterior she often showed. I reached out, my fingers slipping under her chin to gently lift her head, forcing her to meet my gaze. Her blue eyes, glistening with unshed tears, held a truth that shook me to my core.

“Hope.” I brushed my thumb against her cheek. “I would never hurt you. I want you to know that.”

She swallowed, her gaze flickering away for a moment before returning to mine. The emotions in her eyes were a tempest I understood all too well.

“I never felt for Jared what I feel for you,” she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. “He never affected me the way you affect me. And I need to enjoy this, Jiro. It’s you. If I don’t, my heart would break for all that you and I could have been.”

Her words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken desires and regrets. I felt a surge of tenderness for her, a fierce protectiveness I hadn’t known was possible. Without another word, I closed the distance between us, my arms wrapping around her, holding her as if I could shield her from all the pain and uncertainty that life had thrown her way.

“Hope,” I murmured against her hair, my lips brushing softly against her ear. “You deserve to be loved in every way that brings you joy, not pain. And I swear to you, I will make sure that you experience nothing but pleasure, nothing but the depth of what you deserve.”

She leaned into my embrace, her fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt as if holding on to me like an anchor in a storm. And in that moment, as our heartbeats seemed to synchronize, I knew that despite the darkness that had haunted me, despite the battles I had fought and the demons I had faced, there was a chance for something beautiful, something real.

As my lips met hers, a surge of emotions rushed through me like a tidal wave. It was a kiss fueled by my longing, regrets, and desires, finally breaking free. Her soft lips pressed against mine, igniting a fire that had been smoldering beneath the surface for far too long.

Her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer, and I responded eagerly, deepening the kiss. Our breaths mingled, and the world around us faded into insignificance. At that moment, it was just her and me, lost in the intensity of our connection. As I let my hands trail down her body, I grabbed the hem of her short dress, pulling it up, only breaking the kiss to toss it on the floor.

I took a step back, my breathing ragged, and studied her in her black lacy underwear and strapless bra.

She was stunning, the kind of goddess that made you fall on your knees and weep just for a chance to get a taste of heaven, and right now, she was all mine.

I stared at the swell of her breasts that moved fast with her rapid breathing and removed my shirt, revealing, this time fully, my tattooed chest to her. I wanted to feel her skin against mine, her milky softness against my rendered flesh.

I walked back to her silently, far too aroused and nervous to actually talk. I had never felt nervous before sex, not even my first time. But as apprehensive as she was with her desire to enjoy it, I was just as apprehensive to make sure I made it pleasurable for her.

I reached behind her, undoing her bra, and pulled her against me. I closed my eyes with a sigh. Her skin against mine didn’t just feel nice; it was like a balm soothing all my scars, both physical and emotional.

I remembered Hoka’s demented explanation about Violet and the way it felt when he touched her. I thought I understood, but I didn’t—not when I was now experiencing it firsthand.

I trailed my hand the length of her spine as she shivered in my arms.

“It will be good, I promise,” I whispered. “It’s you and me.”

She didn’t reply but turned her face to kiss my chest, resting her lips on the scar just above my pectoral. The scar that was caused by the gunshot I’d taken trying to protect Anna that fateful day. But before I could get lost in the painful memories, she licked the metal of my nipple barbell, making me hiss.

My cock, which was already in a semi, hardened fully as her hot tongue licked again.

I let out a groan and took a step back, already feeling the control slipping through my fingers. I needed to take back control. I needed to make tonight about her, her pleasure; she was the priority because I didn’t want any apprehension, any fear in her eyes the next time I touched her, only anticipation for the pleasure I was about to give her.

Next time… There might not be a next time. My brain chimed, but I smothered it, kissing Hope deeply as I kneaded her perfect right breast with my hand.

“God, woman,” I growled.

“Jiro!” she squealed as I reached down, swept her off her feet and laid her down on the bed.

I stayed on the side of the bed but leaned down to suck one of her pink nipples into my mouth.

She gasped, burying her hand in my hair. “Jiro…” she breathed.

I let it out with a loud pop and walked to the foot of the bed, reaching for her underwear. “Raise your hips for me, sweetheart.”

She looked at me with more apprehension despite the desire as she raised her hips. A sign of trust I was not taking lightly.

I spread her quivering legs and looked at her glistening flesh, swollen with desire, and licked my lips in anticipation.

I kneeled at the foot of the bed and pulled her toward me.

She gasped as she raised up on her forearms. “What are you doing?” she breathed, her face crimson.

“Feasting,” I replied and cocked my head to the side. “You’ve done that before, haven’t you?”

She turned even redder as she shook her head, and I wanted to kill the piece of shit she called her ex .

I wanted to know what made her think sex was painful and not enjoyable. I wanted to know why her piece-of-shit ex made her believe she was not cut out for pleasure, that she was broken, and I started to piece it together. That man had been nothing more than a selfish taker, but I was going to prove to her now that there had never been anything wrong with her.

I reached into my pocket for a small white box and was surprised to find a box of condoms too. I had not planned for sex, but that was so perfect I didn’t question it further. I got the white box out and she narrowed her eyes. Curiosity temporarily replaced her discomfort.

“What is that?”

I smiled. “I have to rise to the challenge, sweet girl. I made a bet with myself that I’d give you at least five orgasms before the sun was up.”

“I—” She stopped, widening her eyes as I stuck my tongue out and screwed in my tongue piercing.

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around her tensed thighs, making sure to keep them open, and pulled her down just a little more.

“Jiro you—” She let out a startled cry as I swiped my tongue up her enticing flesh, ensuring that the ball of my piercing pressed against her swollen clit.

I repeated the ministration, adding more pressure this time, and she let out a broken moan as I felt her body relax and her head fall heavily against the pillow.

I kept lapping at her, alternating speed and pressure, learning her body’s reactions and slowly getting lost in her moans of pleasure .

Everything about her was made to lure me. She was my own siren, and I would gladly drown just to be by her side.

As I increased my speed, her hips started to move up and down, trying to ride my face, seeking a release she’d never known in the arms of a man.

I smiled as her moaning became louder, and she chanted my name. And then, just as her hip movement became more erratic, I pressed my piercing against her clit while pushing two fingers inside her wet heat, and she came shouting my name.

I licked lazily until she came down from her orgasm, and she let her legs fall to the side, completely spreading herself and far too satiated to care… as it should be.

I stood up, licking my lips. “That’s one,” I said as I unbuttoned my pants.

She looked at my hands, her eyes a little hazy as she followed my gesture, and her eyes widened a little when I pushed my pants and underwear down, revealing my fully erect, pierced cock.

“It was true,” she whispered, keeping her eyes on it.

“Uh-huh.” I grinned as her expression was more curious than concerned now as she took in the three barbell piercings in the underside of my penis.

I stepped out of my discarded pants, grabbed one of the condoms and rolled it on my length, never breaking eye contact before walking back toward the bed, pushing her up before kissing and licking my way up her body.

“D-does it hurt?” she asked in a broken moan as I rolled my tongue in her belly button.

“No, not anymore.” I kissed my way up her stomach, then her rib cage, until I reached her delicious breasts again. “No, sweetheart. Now it’s only pleasure for you and for me,” I added before sucking a nipple in my mouth, biting it gently before rolling my tongue around it.

She buried her hands in my hair before scraping her short nails on my scalp. “Your tongue is delicious.”

I smiled around her nipple before letting it go. “Wait until you try my cock,” I replied before giving the same attention to her other nipple.

I trailed my lips up her neck before kissing her deeply, getting lost in her mouth as my cock brushed against her wetness.

I grabbed it as I kept kissing her and pushed the head in. She immediately tensed up, making me want to murder her stupid ex all over again.

I broke the kiss. “Relax, sweetheart. You’ll love it, I promise.”

She rested her hand on my cheek and gave me a watery smile. “It’s okay if I don’t like it. It’s not your fault.”

“Yes, it would be,” I replied, pushing a little more inside of her. “A man who doesn’t know how to properly use his toy is just a boy.”

“Just go for it. It won’t change anything.”

“You’re wrong, koibito . It changes everything.” I pushed a bit more, and she let out a little gasp at the first barbell. I pulled back and pushed in again, going in and out with shallow thrusts, pushing in a little more with every forward movement. I kept my eyes on her face, making sure there was no pain there.

The rational part of me knew it was going to be fine; she was built for me, and I was constructed for her. She was my ikigai, after all, even if it was not something I intended to tell her.

I kept my thrusting slow, and it took most of my willpower. It was so difficult not to simply settle in her tight heat.

At my last thrust, I was in to the hilt, and I let out a little huff of relief as all I saw was a marvel and the most terrifying love.

She smiled a little and raised her hips. “Oh! I’m so…”

“So?” I encouraged, detailing her face and the adorable little frown that appeared between her brows.

She raised her hips again. “I’m so… high,” she replied as if she could not pinpoint how she felt.

Make that two of us, koibito . The intensity of the pleasure of just tasting her, being inside her, was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It felt like I’d just reached the door of heaven, and I knew I’d die a happy man.

She moved her head to kiss my shoulder, and I started to thrust a bit more forcefully, pulling my cock out completely and sinking back to the hilt. She let out a long moan, and I grinned against her neck.

Yes, that’s what I wanted to hear . I picked up the pace, encouraged by her cries of pleasure, her hip movements, and the way she hooked her leg around my hip to deepen the angle of penetration, and finally let go of the little control I had left, getting lost in the heaven of her arms.

I was losing myself with her; it was more than an addiction. It was just her—she was everything.

I was getting close, too close, too fast, and the only reassurance was that her cries were getting louder, her hip movements just as erratic as mine.

“Rub your clit for me, sweetheart,” I huffed as I felt my balls tighten, knowing I was a couple of movements away from exploding in pleasure.

She shook her head with a broken moan but still reached between us, and just as her fingers brushed her swollen clit, she opened her eyes wide and arched her back, her mouth opening in a silent cry. Fuck, she was absolutely stunning as she orgasmed.

She tightened almost painfully around my length, and I had no choice but to let go and follow her into the most powerful orgasm I’d ever had. I could feel it all the way to my bones, and I knew that nothing could ever compare to sex with Hope.

But it was not just sex, was it? No, it was love—I made love to her; I got lost in her in ways I would have never allowed with anyone else.

I fell on top of her, and she wrapped herself around me as if she wanted to keep me deep inside of her. As if I ever wanted to move from the delicious bliss her body was.

She kissed the side of my head. “Thank you,” she said with a voice far more emotional than I would have expected.

I was about to turn my head when she continued. “Thank you for showing me I was not broken. Thank you for showing me sex was pleasurable.”

I turned my head and kissed the side of her neck.

“I’m a big fan of your appendage ,” she said with a low, self-conscious chuckle. “And those piercings…” She tightened her walls around my softening cock. “They’re something else.”

“Give me a few minutes, and then I’ll show you how they feel on your tongue.”

She chuckled again and let out a sigh. “I love you, Jiro Saito.”

I tensed but kissed her neck. I could not say it back. It was just the heat of passion talking, her gratefulness at showing her she was not damaged. I could not reciprocate because I knew that if I did, I would never let her go.