Her Sister’s Highlander

Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

A fter bidding all goodnight when supper was over, Edan retired to his room. He was weary after the hectic day, but the rampant thoughts in his mind would not let him rest. While the earlier meeting with the council lingered, it was not the imminent threat from Laird MacTavish that caused him such unease.

Laird MacMillan had informed him earlier in the council meeting that as time had passed after he and Caitlyn had been taken, they were all beginning to lose hope.

“Please tell me ye didnae send any ransom money,” Edan had said.

“O’ course we did,” Conor had replied. “The man had me daughter and me future son-in-law. Dae ye really think I was going tae sit on me hands and dae naething?”

Edan had sighed and shook his head.

“I would have made the decision anyway, but when we received the ransom note, Effie lost her mind. She’s been in quite a state these last two weeks. The thought o’ losing ye and her sister at the same time, nearly drove her mad.”

He had witnessed Effie’s enthusiasm with his own eyes when they had sat down to eat. It was the first time he had really seen her since their return given that, immediately after the council meeting, Conor had been adamant that Edan visit the castle healer so he could have his injuries looked at.

Guilt had sat heavily in his stomach as it became glaringly obvious that he was nowhere near as pleased or enthused to see Effie, as she was to see him. And then, there was that incident with Caitlyn. He had not been able to help himself. It was now a natural reaction to jump to her aid. When he had heard her distress, he had suddenly found himself at her side.

Now, as he paced back and forth across the thick rug in his bedchamber, he struggled with the confusion between logical thought and the pull of his heart.

What am I supposed tae dae? Pretend that all is the same? Live a lie? Marry Effie and live in misery?

After a while, it all became too much, and hurrying from his chamber, he strode down the corridor, and thumped on Darach’s door.

“Braither.” Darach frowned upon opening it. “Ye are nae yersel’.”

Edan stepped into the room, and once Darach closed the door behind him, Edan shook his head. “Nae, Darach. I am far from it. Ye’ve always been the smarter one between the two o’ us, and I need yer advice.”

“Sit down,” his brother gestured to the tall-backed chairs at the large open fire. “I’ll get us a drink.”

Once settled, Edan poured out his heart, telling Darach everything that had occurred. Even the kiss he and Caitlyn had shared in the inn. Darach wisely remained silent throughout, listening to every word his brother spoke. When Edan finally finished, he felt both exhausted and relieved, as though he had unburdened a great weight from his shoulders.

Eventually, he looked at Darach directly. “What am I tae dae? Am I truly an awful human being fer me dreadful treachery?”

Darach looked at Edan carefully. “Are ye an awful human being fer protecting and taking care o’ Caitlyn while ye were in captivity?”

“That’s nae what I’m asking.”

“Nae. It’s what I’m asking,” Darach said.

“I did what I had tae dae. Like anyone would.”

“Ye both suffered a terrible ordeal, Edan. Ye both thought ye were going tae die. Each day was a gamble o’ whether it might be yer last.”

“Are ye telling me me feelings are nae real? That I’m only feeling this way because o’ what we went through?”

Darach shook his head. “We both ken that isnae the case, braither. Yer feelings fer Caitlyn have been suppressed fer many years. And as much as ye’ve tried tae keep yer distance, and I ken ye have, ye cannae help how ye feel.”

“But surely, it isnae right,” Edan countered.

“The heart doesnae think in right and wrong. In fact, it doesnae think at all. It feels. Ye’ve spent yer whole adult life ignoring yer heart. Sooner or later, it was going tae fight back.”

“If it’s from me heart, surely I’m supposed tae feel good about it,” Edan growled. “This guilt is eating me alive.”

“Ye have had a long fight on yer hands. All these years, ye’ve been protecting Caitlyn as well as yersel’. Ye even let her hate ye fer breaking the betrothal between her and Aengus Lamont, rather than hurting her by telling her the truth about the man.”

“That was necessary.”

“Perhaps, but only because ye didnae want tae hurt her.” Darach shrugged.

“I hurt her either way. She even told me that I’d made her life a misery since we were children.”

“Well, I cannae disagree with her there.” Darach grinned. “Ye were a torture. But again, ye had yer reasons. Ye were nae always like that. Dae ye nae remember when ye first met her?”

Edan nodded. “I dae.”

While Darach took his glass to refill it, Edan’s mind wandered back to a memory he had revisited many times.

It had taken three days to travel across the glens to reach the MacMillan clan lands. Edan and Darach, as boys of fourteen and twelve respectively, had entertained themselves with games on the journey, but Edan was still relieved when they finally arrived.

Laird MacMillan greeted them warmly and led them into a large drawing room. He was speaking to Edan’s father when a young, pretty lass came rushing in. She was shocked to see the room occupied, and quickly turned on her heels to run from the room. But Laird MacMillan called her back.

“Come here, Caitlyn.”

The young lass turned and shyly walked back, stopping beside her father.

“I’d like tae introduce ye tae me daughter. Caitlyn MacMillan.”

Edan knew, from discussions with his father, that this visit was not just a social occasion. The lairds were arranging a future union with their children to strengthen their clans. They were there to introduce the children to each other, and to build rapport for their future betrothal.

Edan had no idea what to expect upon their arrival, but as he gazed at the shy girl standing so close to her father, his eyes widened, and he felt a strange feeling in his stomach. She was so very pretty. Her face had tiny features, and her hair was long and glossy, hanging down over her shoulders.

So mesmerized was he, that he didn’t realize his father had asked him a question. This made Darach chuckle, and his brother nudged him teasingly in the ribs.

“I beg yer pardon, Faither?” Edan said, quickly recovering.

“I said, why dae ye nae go with Caitlyn and let her show ye around the castle? Laird MacMillan and I have some things tae discuss.”

Caitlyn clearly looked terrified at this suggestion, but Edan knew his father wanted them out of the way. “O’ course, Faither.” Turning to Caitlyn, and wanting to put her at ease, Edan said. “I’ll bet there’s some great hiding places here, arenae there?”

This made Caitlyn smile widely, and then she nodded.

“Why dinnae ye show me and Darach some o’ yer favorites?”

“All right,” she said quietly. Her voice suited her person perfectly, for it was gentle and soft.

Over the next hour, Caitlyn took them to hidden corridors, tunnels, and secret alcoves all around the castle. With Edan’s kind approach, she slowly came out of herself, even laughing when he made a joke or two. Darach gave his brother a few knowing glances, but Edan ignored them. He didn’t want to frighten Caitlyn, for she was such a delicate thing.

By the time they returned, Edan felt excited. If this was the lass he was going to marry, perhaps his future was not going to be so bad after all. They found their father in the drawing room, but Laird MacMillan was nowhere to be seen. Caitlyn bid her farewells, and flashing Edan a wide smile, she turned and left the room.

“Well, what dae ye think?” his father said. “The castle is a fine place, is it nae?”

“It is, Faither,” Edan said emphatically. “The MacMillan’s appear tae be very good people.”

“I’m glad ye think so. The lass who will be yer betrothed when ye’re older will be here shortly. I’m eager fer ye tae meet her.”

Edan took a step back, and looked more than a little confused at his father’s words. So surprised was he, that he struggled to speak.

“Is Caitlyn MacMillan nae going tae be Edan’s betrothed?” Darach blurted, clearly as shocked as his brother.

“Nay, nay,” their father said, shaking his head. “Caitlyn is the younger sister. Ye will be marrying Effie. Her older sister.”

Edan felt the world shift beneath his feet, and still reeling, he could only stare at Darach. Gone was his younger brother’s earlier teasing. In fact, Darach looked crestfallen on Edan’s behalf.

It was not long after that, that Edan came to a firm decision. While Effie had been pleasant and as kind as her sister, she was not Caitlyn. She was, perhaps, even prettier than Caitlyn, but that made little difference to Edan. There had been something about Caitlyn that had drawn him in. Perhaps her softness, kindness, or her gentle smile.

But the arrangements had been made, and as a young man, he was powerless to stop them. He had to protect his heart. Allowing himself to get close to Caitlyn would make his life a misery, and thus, instead, he made a determined effort to keep as much distance between them as possible.

“Here, take this,” Darach said, handing Edan the refilled glass. “Ye look like ye need it.”

“Thank ye, braither.” Edan took a sip and then gazed over at Darach. “I have hardly had a chance tae ask ye how ye are.”

Darach smirked. “Far better than ye, braither. Though, yer disappearance did have me worried. When ye and Caitlyn didnae return tae the inn, it was Kieran who noticed first. When we came tae look fer ye, ye were nay where tae be seen. It was only when I asked passersby if they’d seen anything that we came tae discover ye’d been taken.”

“I should have fought harder.”

“We hurried back tae the castle tae alert the laird, and after that, all hell broke loose.”

“Ye would never have found us.”

“Aye, I ken that now, but we didnae ken that at the time. Laird MacMillan had every able person out searching. Kieran took me and a group of his best soldiers, and we searched for days. It was hopeless, o’ course. Anyone we met had nae clue what we were talking about, and in the end, we were forced tae return.”

“I’m sorry tae have put ye through so much trouble, Darach.” Edan sighed.

Darach pinned him with a steady gaze. “Ye are me braither, Edan. Ye ken I would give me life fer ye.”

Edan nodded. “And I fer ye, brother. Thank ye fer all yer efforts.”

“Efforts that came tae naught in the end.”

“But ye still tried,” Edan countered.

“When MacTavish strikes, and he will, his men will be coming up against a lot o’ angry clansmen after what he put the MacMillan’s though.”

“Good,” Edan growled. “He and his army will deserve everything they get.”