Herald the Night

Chapter Five

Living with Abriella and Lily was hell for Connor. Absolute, torturous hell. He was given a couple days to recover from his hangover and wallow in his despair. After that? The gloves came off. Abriella had more than a few choice words and colorful phrases for how she felt about Connor’s slow slide into self-sabotage and the pits of depression. She had even more creative adjectives to describe his personality shift over the course of the last year. One of Connor”s personal favorites was “idiotic prick” if only because it matched how he felt about himself.

Connor knew he needed help. He’d known he needed some help for a long time. James’ betrayal rocked his foundation hard, and he never really dealt with it in a healthy way. He hadn”t dealt with the psychological effects of putting a bullet in the bastard’s head. Nor had he properly processed the mission to eliminate the former Director of the FBI, Luke Fields. Part of the problem there was that he didn”t know for sure if the man was actually dead. He’d been told he was. But trust was difficult for him after the horrors inflicted by James Locke’s betrayal. Connor hadn”t actually seen Fields’ body. He struggled to accept that the man was truly gone.

The biggest struggle of all was Milo’s death. That was the one he knew deep down he had to get help working through. The guilt he carried over Theo’s kidnapping was compounded by the guilt he felt over Milo’s death. For all his talk of not wanting to be a white knight in shining armor, Connor’s entire life had been built around stepping up and fighting for the people he loved. Watching those people get injured, traumatized, or killed rocked him to his core and he knew he needed to process it. But knowing and doing were two very different things.

Enter: Abriella Garcia. Five foot four inches of pissed off Latina who was done with Connor’s stubborn bullshit. After his designated period of wallowing and self-pity, Drill Sergeant Garcia hit the scene and some days, he wondered if he”d survive the encounter. They”d been one another’s foundation and scaffolding all through high school, boot camp, deployments, and beyond. The only thing that would force her to leave him behind was six feet of soil. Despite the depths of his depression, he wasn”t there yet. In all honesty, it had been close.

Connor cringed as a loud clanging shattered the pre-dawn silence. This had been the new routine for a few days now. Drill Sergeant Garcia took her self-appointed job very seriously. The banging of the metal pot grew louder and louder until it was all he could hear. He cracked open one eye and glared murderous intentions at the silhouette standing over the pull-out couch bed.

“Turn out, soldier! Move, move, move!” The banging commenced again. “On your feet, you lazy slob!”

Connor groaned and rolled to the edge of the bed, maneuvering his frame carefully to avoid the bed’s tricky habit of trying to fold itself up.

“On your feet, cabrón!” Abriella stepped closer and shouted in his face just like their old drill sergeant had.

“Abs, please,” he mumbled, yawning so wide his jaw popped. “I’m up.”

“Don”t back talk me! On your feet, then drop and give me twenty!” The wooden spoon she had been using to bang the pot bopped the top of his head. He gave a long suffering sigh before ultimately complying. She wouldn”t back off until he did.

Twenty push-ups later, he hurried to make the bed and fold it away. Just like he had every single morning since his best friend decided to channel her inner task mistress. As much as he bitched and moaned about it, he”d found comfort in the old routines and regimens that had turned him into the soldier he’d been proud of. Sometimes, bringing it back to the basics helped with the act of rebuilding. In this case, it was revisiting basic training. He hadn”t realized how far he’d let himself slip until Abriella had enforced early muster, daily showers, and a proper haircut. She also refused to let him waste away every day, to the point of forcing him out the door when she left for work every morning and refusing to allow him back inside until she got home in the evening.

Although her methods were unconventional and likely would make any mental health professional cringe and clutch their DSMs to their chest, it was a brilliant tactic for Connor. Being forced to leave the house and pass the time left him with nowhere to hide from the issues in his head. The first few days were rough, but he knew better than to try and drown his sorrows in the bottom of a bottle. He”d been mortified beyond belief to hear her recall the mess she found when she came to collect him at the bar. The bruising around his eye was another good reminder of what alcohol would lead to.

Instead of drinking to cope, Connor did what he should have done months ago. He got real honest with himself as his feet traveled miles and miles of sidewalk around DC. When he was too exhausted and overwrought with emotion to continue, he found himself scrolling through his phone in cafés and sandwich shops, reading everything he could about recovering from depression, dealing with anxiety, and most importantly for him, how to support a partner dealing with the same and more. Begrudgingly, he also researched damn near every mental health counselor in the greater DC area. He hadn”t yet gotten up the nerve to call any of them, but he had half a dozen phone numbers saved in his contact list. It was a step in the right direction, at least.

Another silver lining to his spiral was the discovery of a new friend. His eyes flicked to the drop down banner as he stirred his coffee. Luke Gendry had been texting and calling almost daily. Between Luke, Abriella, and his mama, he had a rock solid support system that was likely the reason he wasn”t currently sleeping on the ground near Union Station.

Luke: Plans for today, bud?

Connor huffed out a tired laugh as he opened his messaging app to reply. Luke wasn”t much older than him in the grand scheme of things, especially considering his boyfriend was younger than Theo, but he had a paternal streak a mile wide and often called Connor pet names like bud, buddy, or son.

Connor: Laundry, job hunting, probably going for a run later. Plans still on for Loco’s tonight?

Luke: Affirmative. 20:00. Before then, I want to meet up with you about a possible job if you”re interested.

Connor: Sure. Want to meet for lunch?

Luke: My treat. Shake Shack on F Street at 13:00?

Connor: Roger that.

He collected his trash from the bistro table and moved to pocket his phone when it vibrated again in his hand. Assuming it was Luke responding, he unlocked the screen without reading the preview, but his brow furrowed when the screen opened to their conversation and there was no new reply. The notification at the top right hand of the screen showed a new text and for a brief moment, Connor’s hope blossomed. Maybe Theo had texted. Neither had made the first move yet. In his mind, Connor wanted to wait until he could reach out from a better place than he had been in before. It was getting harder and harder to resist temptation.

Unfortunately, it wasn”t Theo. It wasn”t anyone he knew. The unknown sender texted from a private number. The furrow in his brow grew deeper as he opened the message. His heart jumped into his chest when a series of pictures appeared on the screen. He swiped through them three times, his pulse climbing higher with each rotation. The grainy, telephoto photos were in black and white, captured sometime after night had fallen and illuminated only by the porch light Connor was all too familiar with.

Theo and Taz were the subjects of the images, captured in rapid succession as they embraced on the front porch of the house. Hugging became sitting side by side on the top step, with Theo curled up in Taz’ arms. The details were hard to glean from the low quality, but Connor would know his partner anywhere. The flare of jealousy he often struggled with was the first cause of his skyrocketing pulse, but the paranoia and fear that followed were the predominant reason he found himself growing angry.

He closed the pictures and went back to the message thread just as a text hit the screen. Four words had him ready to jump out of his seat. Whoever this person was knew exactly how to get Connor’s blood boiling and the implications of these photos wasn”t the reason. It was the fact that someone was clearly keeping tabs on the house and had Connor’s personal number that had his skin crawling.

Unknown: when the cats away

The chances were high that it was simply a reporter or paparazzi. It wouldn”t be the first or last time he and Theo had dealt with the press and their invasive tactics. Despite the logic, something seemed off about it. He clicked back into the photos and saved each one before navigating back to the recent texts. He knew better than to reply to the creep who had sent them. Instead, he scrolled down until he found the numbers for his former colleagues—Anna and Toby’s head of security. He sent copies to every agent on their detail, plus screenshots with timestamps.

He and the agents chatted back and forth as Connor made his way down the sidewalks that would lead him to his lunch meeting. They promised to keep an eye on Theo and the kids. They assured him they would handle it. They reassured him that it was likely nothing. Despite all of that, something tugged at the back of his mind the entire time he walked to the Shake Shack. He almost broke down and forwarded the images and information to Theo, but at the last second, he stopped himself. They hadn”t spoken in over a week and he didn”t want the first conversation they had to be about a potential threat. Especially not when they had so much to work through already.

Connor made it to the designated rendezvous ahead of schedule and grabbed a table in the corner despite the busy lunch rush. Luke joined him not even ten minutes later. Punctuality was a habit fostered by the military and one neither of them seemed eager to shed.

“You”re looking good, buddy.” Luke approached and pulled Connor into a back-slapping hug. “Let me get in line. What’re you having?”

“SmokeShack with fries. Large.” Connor slid back into his seat in the booth with a smile. He hadn”t smiled quite so genuinely in a while. Funny how something so small and normal could feel so good. “Lemonade, please. And thank you.”

“Roger. I”ll be right back.” Luke rapped the top of the table with his knuckles before retreating to the front of the room to order their food.

The gnawing worry returned as Connor waited. He had too much to worry about and it was easy to get swept up in the paranoia. So much so, he neglected to stay aware of his surroundings and jumped when Luke flopped into the seat across from him with a laden tray of food and drinks.

“At ease, soldier.” Luke winked with a smirk. “Spill. Something’s bothering you.”

“Everything. I reckon the list grows longer by the day.” Connor grabbed his meal with a nod of thanks. Opting to get to business before he shared his paranoid thoughts, he cleared his throat before continuing. “So, you got a lead on a job?”

“That I do, my friend.” Luke didn”t elaborate for a moment that felt too long. He was about to shove a third crinkle cut fry into his mouth when Connor eyed him with his eyebrows arched. Luke laughed before continuing. “You”re so easy to ruffle, O’Brien. Here’s the deal—you know my brothers have their private military contracting gig. Now, before you say no, hear me out. I know you”re worried about the sporadic work and the potential for travel, but they”re starting to get more and more interest, most of it here in the district. You’re a shoo-in. You”ve already got the certs, the training, and your resume is fucking killer.”

“I reckon, but,” Connor hedged, mulling over his thoughts before he resumed speaking. “I need regular work, and I ain”t gonna get trapped in the night shift again. Not if I’m gonna make this work with Theo.”

“Precisely. That”s why I think this will be perfect for you. Leon and Liam have a bunch of guys looking for security personnel right here in DC. Easy shit. It”s a damn cake walk and the pay is good. Better than you can imagine.” Luke eyed him for a long while over the burger in his hands. His smile was victorious and smug as soon as Connor relented with a small nod. “Bingo. I”ll send you their number. I already told them I had you in the bag. They’re expecting your call.”

Connor couldn”t hold back his laughter at Luke’s confidence. The guy had backed Connor into a corner without him even realizing it. He couldn”t be mad about it, though. Not when it helped him deal with one of the biggest problems he had been dealing with since the disillusionment over his Secret Service career had settled in. The conversation shifted to simpler topics as they finished their meals, eventually morphing into Connor sharing his concerns about the photographs he was sent. It seemed only right to share the details with Luke, especially since his boyfriend Taz was the subject of them alongside Theo.

“Well, fuck that.” Luke squinted at his phone with a growly grunt. His eyes flicked up to find Connor’s again. “You don”t need me to reassure you it”s not what it looks like, right?”

“Nah, man. I ain”t stupid. Taz is obsessed with you. And they ain”t ever been a good match. Great as friends, terrible as partners. I might be a jealous prick, but I know they ain”t gonna be messing around together.” Connor crumbled his napkin up and tossed it on the tray.

“Exactly. Thank you for sharing these. I”m going to talk to Bella about it for sure. This is worrying for different reasons.” Luke shut his phone off and pocketed it before sliding to his feet. “I have to get back to the office. You good?”

“Yeah. Thanks for this, Luke. Thanks for everything.” Connor mirrored his movements and stood up to accept Luke’s embrace again. He weighed his options and tried to keep the desperate edge from his voice as he asked the question that had been on his mind for days. “Hey, uh… d’ye know if Theo’s gonna be at Loco’s tonight?”

“I”m not at liberty to disclose that information, O’Brien.” Luke winked and grinned like the Cheshire Cat. Connor wanted to slap the expression off his face, but he ended up chuckling instead. It wasn”t a direct answer nor was it confirmation, but Connor felt hope blossom in his chest regardless.