Herald the Night

Chapter Ten

Although the creepy picture incident hadn”t done any favors for Theo’s anxiety, life had to go on. He still had to cart the kids around to therapy appointments, activities, and visitations in addition to all the typical errands a “parent” was responsible for. As much as he would have preferred to order everything they needed online, delivery fees were a thing. The income he made from his freelance work took a huge hit once the kids moved in. It took an even bigger hit once summer break had started. He barely had the time to take on projects, and when he had the time, he didn”t have the energy.

As much as the child support payments helped, it never ended up being enough. He thought the housing arrangement his mother had made for them would take some of the pressure off, but there was one caveat to the agreement he hadn”t been prepared for—utilities. His budgeting prior to becoming the legal guardian for his siblings had accounted for the utilities on the one-bedroom apartment he had shared with Connor. A four-bedroom house with lawns and more square footage than he’d ever lived in with the exception of his brief stay in the White House came with all sorts of costs he hadn”t been prepared for.

The old adage of comparison being the thief of joy became a relatable phrase the longer he spent in the neighborhood. It was hard not to feel a little resentment as he wrestled the push mower through the too-tall grass while the five man lawn care crew hired by his neighbor whizzed around the carbon copy front yard next door. Sweat coated his skin. His hair stuck to his face. Dirt, dust, and grass clippings clung to him and he”d had to use his rescue inhaler twice in as many hours to combat the exercise and allergies triggering his asthma. All in all, he was in a foul-ass mood.

And then the mower ran out of gas. His head fell backward as he unleashed a bestial growling shout at the sky. He decided it was a good time to call it quits before he completely lost his cool and dragged the mower to the curb so the waste removal crew could dispose of it. The rattling drowned out the sound of his muttering as he lugged the cumbersome machine to the garage. At this rate, the swear jar was going to be the reason he declared bankruptcy. That and Toby’s insatiable appetite.

Inside the house, the AC offered a brief moment of relief before he remembered their last electric bill. He increased the temperature on the thermostat on his way down the hall in need of a shower. It likely wouldn”t stay that way, but every little bit helped. The knock on Toby’s door went unanswered, which was never a good sign. With a sigh, he pushed it open and leaned inside.

“Tob,” Theo called to the bobbing head visible over the top of the computer chair.

No answer.

“Toby!” He tried shouting.

No answer.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Theo marched into the room and spun the chair around. “Toby!”

Toby tore the headphones off with a scowl. “What?”

“Did you get your soccer stuff ready?” Theo pulled his phone from his sweat-damp jeans and checked the time. “We have to leave for the game in like, an hour.”

“It”s around. I”ll find it once I finish this match.” Toby shoved the headphones back on and spun his chair back around. “Just five minutes.”

“Fine,” Theo huffed and headed back toward the hall. Toby’s room was a disaster as always. He shut the door on his way out. There were only so many battles he could fight in a day. This one wasn”t on the list for today. He crossed the hall and knocked on Anna’s door. At least she answered with a chipper, “Come in!”

What he found on the other side stopped him dead in his tracks. “Anna, what the hell did you do?”

“Bangs!” She beamed up at him and snapped a scissor in the air. “Do you like them?”

“Anna… Bug… um…” He tried to formulate the right words to handle this situation. His mind drew a complete blank in the face of his little sister’s butchered hair. Her grin never faded. All he could do was hold out his hand and say, “Looks great. Gimme the scissors.”

“But I”m not done,” she whined, turning back to the compact mirror literally duct taped to her wall as she lifted the scissors again.

“Ah, no. Please. It”s done. It”s perfect. Just like that. Scissors, please?” Theo rushed forward and fluttered his hand. “You have to get this cleaned up while I”m in the shower. Please?”

She exhaled a loud, dramatic sigh and begrudgingly handed the scissors to him. Disaster mostly averted, the haircut notwithstanding. It was maybe salvageable. He didn”t have the mental capacity to worry about it yet. He prudently left the room before he let himself mutter under his breath about the injustice of life and the fact that he”d left them to their own devices only long enough to partially cut the lawn. He couldn”t wait to get in the shower and let the water ease some of the tension.

Unfortunately, his shower wasn”t nearly long enough to improve his mood or help him come to terms with the daunting task of another jaunt into public. By the time he was redressed in a pair of jeans and a baggy crop top, his nerves were already starting to climb again. Irritation joined the party when he discovered someone had turned the temperature back down on the thermostat, Anna hadn”t cleaned up the hair from her floor, and Toby was still in exactly the same position at his computer with no sign of having gotten his equipment together.

He stormed toward the breaker box in the front hall and whipped the door open. A quick skim of the switches revealed the one he was looking for. The main breaker. With an anticlimactic clicking sound, he flicked the switch and the whole house went dim. Taylor Swift stopped singing about whichever boyfriend had broken her heart in Anna’s room. The AC stopped turning their home into a walk-in cooler. Toby swore up a storm from behind his closed door. Theo inhaled a deep breath and bellowed.

“Tobias and Annalise Montgomery, get your asses out here right now!”

Theo had never, ever, not even once raised his voice with his siblings. The wild-eyed gazes on their faces as they poked out into the hallway were visible even without the artificial lights on to illuminate the hallway. They slid from inside their rooms and inched closer as Theo seethed with his fingers still on the switch.

“I”m done with this peaceful permissive parenting shit! I get it. Shit has been hard for you. It”s been hard for me too. But I”m so sick of doing this alone, guys. Toby, I asked you to get your stuff together so I could take you to your soccer game. Anna, I told you a million times to ask before you use the scissors, and you didn”t listen. You also didn”t listen when I told you to clean up the mess. This is all getting completely out of hand!

“I don”t know how else to do this. I don”t know how to make it better. But I do know that I can”t keep going like this. You have absolutely no respect for me whatsoever. I know you”re mad about Mom. I know you”re scared about stuff. I know none of this is fair, but I didn”t do it to you. And you aren”t being fair to me.”

“Theo,” Anna’s voice warbled. “I”m sorry about the scissors.”

“Yeah… sorry about the soccer stuff.” Toby shrugged his shoulders and gazed off at nothing. “And about my attitude, I guess.”

“Can you please, please just meet me in the middle sometimes? I hate this. I hate fighting. I hate begging you to do simple stuff. I hate the idea of grounding you or taking your shit away. Please… can we just work together?” Theo let his hand drop from the breaker box with a shaky sigh. “I”m struggling. I need a little more help around here. I know I”m not supposed to say that, but I”m really trying here. Can you guys try a little too? Please?”

“Yes!” Anna jettisoned down the hall and hit Theo square in the chest. He stumbled backwards three steps as he absorbed the impact. “I”m sorry. I don”t want to go back to the White House. I don”t want to go back to being apart from you. I want Connor to come back and I want to stay with you. I promise I”ll be good.”

“Same,” Toby scuffed his foot and inched halfway toward them. Theo disentangled his arm and held it out. His younger brother had a mental debate with himself that played over his features before he finally gave in and closed the distance between them. Theo let out a heavy sigh and pulled his siblings closer. They squeezed back just as hard. As much as he knew this wasn”t a miracle cure, it definitely worked as a temporary bandage. At the very least, their group hug as siblings eased some of the hurt that had been building up for months.

Between Theo’s meltdown, Toby’s inability to find his cleats quickly, and the Secret Service entourage that had to escort them everywhere, they barely made it to the field in time for the first whistle. Public outings were always a security nightmare. Public outings for spectator sports that drew crowds were ten times worse. Theo always felt bad for the agents who were forced into an all-hands turnout for these things. He tried to make it easier on them by finding the sparsest populated space on the sidelines to spread their blanket.

Tucked away at the corner of the field, he had to shield his eyes against the angle of the late afternoon sun and cursed himself for forgetting his sunglasses in their rush to leave the house on time. He couldn”t complain too much, though. Between Anna and Toby, there were almost a dozen agents spread out around the perimeter of the field in black suits. He made a mental note to request a stop at a drive-thru on the way home to get them all something to drink. Plus dinner for him and the kids. He didn”t have the energy to even think about going home to cook. It would be well worth the hit to his budget.

He was only half paying attention to the game. Toby wasn”t playing yet, likely because of their last minute arrival, so he let his thoughts wander, as well as his gaze. It was hard to relax on a good day. The task was damn near impossible now that he knew there was a potential stalker looming. Even with a cadre of Secret Service in the background, the threat remained all too present and all too real in his paranoid mind.

“Theo! Look!” Anna’s excitement had his already flighty body on high alert in an instant. He got even more jittery for a different reason as he tracked Anna’s extended hand and saw what she was pointing at.

Striding down the sideline of the soccer field, his golden blond hair glowing with a halo of sunlight and his body dressed in a fitted polo and slacks, was none other than Connor. Theo’s mouth went dry as he admired the tall drink of water from across the field. His muscles, muscles Theo could map with his mind’s eye for how familiar he was with them, bulged under the weight of a cooler stacked high with grab-and-go chip boxes. Theo stifled a whimper as Connor bent over to set the cooler and snacks near the bench. The slacks were clearly new. He surely would have remembered seeing them before, especially with how they accentuated Connor’s ass.

All his worries disappeared as Connor stood up and swept his gaze over the spectators before locking in on them. The anxiety fled. The crowd melted away. Hell, even the ability to formulate coherent thoughts was missing in action. Theo nearly became a puddle when Connor caught his eye and responded with a devastating grin, a wink, and a casual saunter around the field. By the time Connor’s shadow fell over them and his height forced Theo to crane his neck to maintain eye contact, he was ninety-nine percent positive he forgot how to speak English.

“Howdy, Teddy. Miss Anna,” Connor drawled. He definitely did that on purpose. The brat knew Theo was a sucker for that honeyed accent and those deadly dimples.

“Connor! You came! Oh my God, I miss you so much!” Anna had no chill as she leapt to her feet and proceeded to launch herself into Connor”s embrace.

“You betcha I came. And I miss you too, bug.” Connor hugged Anna closer and then shifted her to his hip before returning his gaze to Theo’s slack-jawed face. “Mind if I join ya?”

“Yeah, I mean no. Yes… fuck.” Theo shook his head to clear away the fog. “No, I don”t mind. Yes, please join us.”

Connor chuckled, low and soft and rumbling. He managed to untangle himself from Anna’s limbs and set her aside with a bottle of bubbles that materialized like a sleight of hand trick from his pants pocket. She squealed and hopped a short way away, drawing the closest pair of agents along in her orbit. Only then did Connor ease himself into a cross-legged position beside Theo.

“How you been, baby?” His knee nudged up against Theo”s and then stayed there. Butterflies and memories danced together in Theo’s stomach as a result.

“Fine. Okay. Actually,” he replied, pausing to get a better handle on his ability to speak. “Shitty. It”s been shit. Yay, honesty and communication. You?”

“I reckon about the same. Got a new job, so that”s a plus.” Connor bumped his shoulder against Theo’s. “Didja pick a couples counselor from the list?”

“Oh, shit. No. Dammit.” Theo wrestled his phone from the pocket of his jeans with a grunt. “I”m doing it right now. This instant.”

Connor laughed his low rumble of a laugh again, turning his eyes toward the field with a smile. “You gonna keep the Google calendar updated? I can schedule something if’n you keep that up to date. I”m still synced. S’why I”m here now.”

“Of course you”re still synced. I wouldn”t take you off that.” Theo scrolled through the list of people Connor had compiled as options. Decision paralysis was a bitch to deal with when he was still reeling from the surprise of seeing Connor. He scrolled back to the top and held the phone out. “The first one. That’s the one you think is best, right?”

“Mn. Yes, but I want you to help pick. Not just lemme steamroll you.” Connor eyed him with a stern look. He had a fair point. Theo knew enough about himself to know that he was prone to backing down and going the route of people pleaser. The shit show at the house and the disaster of their relationship status were two glaringly obvious examples of it.

“Okay, fine.” Theo rolled his eyes, even if Connor was one hundred percent right. “I”ll read up on all of it tonight and let you know.”

“Good. I”m gonna hold ya to that, Teddy Bear.”

They fell silent save for the cheering and clapping when Toby took the field. They cheered even louder every time he scored a goal. They cheered loudest when their team took the win at the sounding of the last bell. The atmosphere between them wasn”t strained, but it wasn”t completely comfortable, either. It rested in a liminal place between old and new, familiar and strange, reassuring and unsettling. He wanted the moment to freeze, to last forever. He also needed it to end so he could finally take a full breath. Through it all, a hollow ache that never went away grew more intense.

“We’re gonna be all right, baby.” Connor tore Theo from his spiraling thoughts with his words. “I got faith in that. You with me?”

“Yes,” Theo whispered the words with a feeble exhale. He hadn”t realized he”d actually been holding his breath. “Yeah, I”m with you. We’ll be all right.”

“Good. I”m gonna hold ya to that.” Connor pushed himself to his feet and grinned down at Theo as he held a hand out to pull him up. “Can I see you Friday? Abs and Lil said they’d hang out with the kids.”

“I… you asked them already?” Theo refused to let go of Connor”s hand even after he found his footing. “That”s… extremely thoughtful. Friday. Friday works.”

“Excellent. Dress nice.” Connor stepped backward until their fingertips were the only thing still tethering them together. “Don”t forget—I love you.”

Tears pricked in his eyes and blurred the sunset silhouette of his lover. Their connection broke and pulled the words from his lips without any second thoughts or hesitation.

“Love you too, babe. Never stopped. Never will.”