Herald the Night

Chapter Thirty-Four

Theo thought he understood panic well, but nothing could compare to the paralyzing fear that consumed him as he held Connor’s limp body in his arms. His dead weight drove Theo to the ground as he tried to keep Connor upright, but it was impossible. This couldn”t be happening. He”d gone from thinking he was about to die to petrified by the thought that Connor was dying.

Iron bands, already firmly in place around his chest, grew even tighter. Each breath was harder than the last. He needed to breathe. He needed Connor to breathe. The fear grew even more intense as the distant wail of sirens danced through the forest around them. Let them make it on time. Please, please, get here on time.

“Theo, Theo are you okay?” Toby dropped to his knees beside them and shuffled closer. “I”m so glad you”re okay.”

“Y-yeah. Y-you?” Theo gasped, trying to force more air into his chest and failing despite his efforts.

“I”m fine. Theo… Theo, look at me and try to breathe with me. Help is coming.” Toby’s words echoed those Theo had just uttered to Connor. His gaze, darkening at the edges, washed over Connor’s battered face where his head lay in Theo’s lap. His beautiful, bruised face. Theo was no doctor, but he knew what he was looking at wasn”t good. The swelling was already evident. He wasn”t waking up. His breaths barely ghosted from his parted lips. Blood. Theo couldn”t figure out if it was his or Connor”s. Maybe it was both.

“Theo, please stay with me!” Toby’s hands grabbed tight to Theo’s shoulders and jerked him upright. “They”re almost here! Please, I can”t lose you. Theo!”

“Mn…” Theo tried to reassure his brother but no words came out. There wasn”t enough oxygen to speak them. He tried to draw a deeper breath and failed. Everything was fading too fast.

The stars and speckles of his oxygen deprivation were overtaken by flashing lights from emergency vehicles. He squinted against the brightness and then reveled in the illumination as his eyes adjusted and the ambulance came into sight. Someone had come to save his savior.

He tightened his fingers in Connor”s shirt and tried to wake him. He didn”t move. Theo’s lips refused to form the words he needed as paramedics swarmed them. A flick of the eyes toward Toby had him stepping up where Theo failed. If it weren”t for his strong, stubborn little brother, he would be lost.

“Oxygen. Albuterol. He has asthma!” Toby shifted out of the way as a paramedic knelt beside them and began working on Connor. Tears streaked down Theo’s face as he watched, helpless and hopeless and unable to breathe.

Suddenly, Theo was moving and not of his own volition. Strong hands in latex plucked him backwards and sat him on the ground too far away to reach Connor. The hands had his desire to flee reaching a fever pitch as he fought against the touch. Rationale was gone. Logic was gone. There was only terror as the last horrific hours of his life distilled into the confusion of the present.

An oxygen mask clamped down around his mouth and an emergency blanket appeared around his lap. Fragments of the last few moments came back to him in fits and starts as the black edges of his vision cleared. He was wearing a windbreaker. He hadn”t been. That helped him recall one of Luke’s brothers cutting him and Toby free. He searched for his brother and relaxed again as he came into focus close by. He honed his focus back on Connor’s unmoving form as the disoriented state ebbed and flowed, in and out, back and forth.

“Theo, right? I need you to concentrate on me for a second.” The paramedic’s voice invaded the fog of his brain and had his eyes moving toward it. “That”s great. I”m going to take some quick vitals, then we have to get you guys to the hospital, okay?”

Theo nodded and again darted his eyes around. There were so many lights flashing now. Even more bodies in the forest that was once nearly pitch black in darkness. So many bodies. The hands touching him had his erratic breaths and rapid pulse growing even faster. He shifted backward on impulse as a whine got trapped low in his throat.

“I know, I know. We’ll get you out of here soon.” The paramedic turned toward his partner and began calling out stats and numbers and it was all too much. Eventually, mercifully, the touching stopped and he was able to take a deeper breath. Until he saw the two emergency responders grab Connor”s body and shift it onto a stretcher board.

He scrambled to his hands and knees and crawled closer. A sharp pain had him stopping in an instant. He hadn”t registered the pain through the numbness that had consumed him. That numbness was suddenly gone and he couldn”t figure out what hurt most.

“Whoa, whoa. Easy there,” the paramedic soothed as he turned back toward Theo. “We”re all taking the same bus back. Easy does it.”

Toby slipped in closer and his hands slipped under Theo’s arms to help him to his feet. A body moved toward them entirely too fast and Theo’s first instinct was to turn toward his brother and shield him from whoever was approaching.

“Theo, Toby. It”s me, Luke.” The familiar voice brought Theo back from the edge of his omnipresent panic. Just enough to keep him from plunging, but not far enough to make it disappear completely. “Let”s get you loaded up. Toby… are you okay, son?”

“Yeah. Anna? Is she…?”

“Already waiting at the hospital. She”s okay.” Luke stepped in and helped support Theo as he swayed. The pain was swiftly reaching levels he hadn”t experienced before. Deep, throbbing pain that had every nerve screaming and his head swirling. “Slowly now. There ya go.”

Each step took more energy he didn”t have. He wanted to sleep for a year, but he couldn”t. Not yet. Not until they were all safe. He blinked and when he opened his eyes, they were at the ambulance. He blinked again and Connor was inside. A third blink found him being manhandled into the back alongside the stretcher.

“Toby? Toby?!” He couldn”t see him anymore. Panic reared its head again.

“Front seat. He”s here. Shit… Jericho, his leg’s bleeding everywhere.” The paramedic’s tone took on a sharper edge.

More hands. More touching. This time in a moving vehicle as his boyfriend lay unconscious on the stretcher beside him. The pain came in waves, accompanied by nausea as the bright lights of the interior cabin of the ambulance brought all the blood into view. He was suffocating despite the oxygen mask on his face. Maybe because of it. His panic wouldn”t let him slow down enough to try and determine the cause. He pulled it from his face and groaned as the paramedic began applying pressure to the wound he’d forgotten about in his thigh.

“ETA?”

“Ten minutes out.”

“Try to make it five, buddy.”

The bright lights dimmed. And then they went out completely. The suffocation, the pain, the fear—it all melted away in a thick fog of black and a vacuum of nothingness. There was only a deep, impenetrable silence and peace, at last.

The justifiable violation that accompanied being hospitalized always set Theo’s world on end. He”d been hospitalized so many times over the course of his life and it was always the same. He”d arrive in some form of semi or unconsciousness, and would wake up with the gnawing realization that so much had happened to him, to his body, and he had no recollection of it. The underlying panic disorder he had struggled with for so long only made the waking up even more unsettling.

The latest incident was no different. His eyelids fluttered open and he found himself in a foreign location, covered in monitors, IVs, bandages, and stitches, wearing a hospital gown he hadn”t seen before, in a bed he”d never laid upon before, surrounded by people he’d never met before. Without fail, his anxiety would skyrocket as soon as consciousness returned. A monitor close by betrayed his awakening, as well as his elevated pulse.

“Hello there, Theo.” A soft feminine voice made him flinch as his bleary eyes slowly focused. “How”re you feeling?”

“Where are—” Theo paused to clear his parched throat, continuing with a croak. “Where are they?”

“Who, darling?” The nurse continued checking the various machines and her tablet with a small smile.

“Connor? Toby? Anna?” Theo tugged his arm away as she reached out to check the IV in the back of his hand. The simple motion took more effort than it should have.

“Connor is right over in the next room, love. Your family is in the waiting room.” The nurse persisted and he relented to her attention. Nevertheless, his pulse was already climbing.

“Time?” His throat burned more with each word he spoke.

“Four in the morning. You”ve been out for a couple hours.” She stepped back and patted his shin. “I”ll get the doctor.”

Theo huffed and tracked her movements to the door. Screw that. He had better things to do than wait for another stranger. As soon as the door closed behind the young woman, he mustered his strength, what little of it he had, and pushed himself into a seated position. The tug and pull of countless stitches and bandages reminded him why he was here. The tell-tale shakes from breathing treatments overwhelmed his limbs and had his head swirling. Despite that, he took measure of what was holding him down and proceeded to work toward freeing himself.

First to go was the tube running under his nose and hooked behind his ears. The sticky pads on his chest and shoulders and legs all connected to one junction box. It was easier to unplug that than fuck with the sticky pieces. Thankfully, the IV stand was mobile and he wasn”t catheterized. It was a small mercy. The one time he woke up with a catheter in place had been a mortifying experience. Again, hospital grounds were rife with justifiable violations.

He paused to catch his breath at the edge of the bed before slowly sliding to his feet. Someone would be coming back in mere moments now that the feed for the cardiac and respiratory monitor was disconnected. The clock was ticking and he needed to move, even if moving felt like torture. One step. Scoot the IV stand. Another step. Scoot. He got the pattern down enough that he could move a little faster.

He hit a roadblock as soon as he made it into the hallway. Not one, but two nurses appeared to halt his progress. He was just about to argue when voices cried out from farther away.

“Theo!” Anna and Toby shouted his name in unison. The pounding of their footsteps echoed over the noise of the hospital and the well-practiced efforts of the nursing staff kept them from careening into him at full speed.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Careful. Theo, you shouldn”t be up.” A male nurse lifted his hands slowly to free the kids. They both slammed their arms around Theo’s body with vigor. It hurt, but God, did it feel good to have them back in his arms.

“Theo, thank God…” Elias appeared next at a much more controlled speed. The first tears fell from Theo’s eyes as the older man joined in the embrace. If it weren”t for them, he’d likely be on the floor already.

“Sir, you should really get back to the bed.” The second nurse reached out a steadying hand.

“C-Connor?” The two syllables were barely a rasp, but he squeezed them out nevertheless.

“Miss, if I could have a word?” Elias pulled back from their hug and nodded toward some spot farther away.

“Theo, please listen?” Toby also pulled away and fussed over the gown, tying it closed with shaking hands. Theo’s cheeks grew warm with the realization that he’d been standing there with his entire ass out. He glanced between all the faces around him and relented with a sigh.

Begrudgingly back in his hospital bed and hooked up to the monitors, he sank into the uncomfortable mattress and feebly patted the surface. The kids didn”t need to be told twice. Despite the protests of the male nurse, they climbed up on either side and snuggled in close, with only a few unfortunate mishaps with IV and monitor lines. It didn”t matter to Theo. He’d deal with ten thousand tugs and stabs and pains if it meant having his kids close. His kids.

They didn”t say anything. Not when they were alone, nor when a young doctor came to check in on him. He rattled off what felt like a million things, but Theo barely paid attention to a single one of them. With Anna on one side and Toby hugged tight on the other, Theo finally felt like he could almost take a full breath. He suspected he wouldn”t take a genuinely deep breath until he had Connor in his sights.

The three of them slipped into sleep once the doctor left and the nurses came to carry out his latest orders. There was some new round of IV medication, pain killers, another breathing treatment. He didn”t care about the specifics. He just wanted to embrace the reassuring fact that he had his kids close. Their sleep was a dreamless one, and short-lived. Sometime later, he was gently roused from the drug-induced fog by another smiling nurse.

“Hello there. We have to transfer your room, dear. It’ll be quick and easy, okay?”

The kids were cajoled from the bed with promises of ice cream. Elias knew the magic words when it came to kids, for which Theo was endlessly grateful. Honestly, it had been Elias that taught him what little he knew about being a parent.

The pull of exhaustion was nearly impossible to fight and Theo lost focus of where they were moving and how long it took. What felt like a blink of time found him opening his eyes in a larger room. He fluttered his eyelids again, and when his vision finally focused, the best worst sight of all came into view.

Connor. His beautiful, brave, fragile savior was laid out in the adjacent bed. Theo’s heart soared while breaking into a million shards. The swelling would have made him nearly unrecognizable if it weren”t for the fact that Theo knew every single one of his features better than he knew his own. There were twice as many monitors connected to Connor, and the breathing tube made his panic resurface in spite of the drugs keeping him sedentary.

“He”s gonna be all right, Theo.” Elias stepped closer and rested a palm on Theo’s shoulder. “Everyone is going to be all right.”

Theo lifted his gaze to Elias’ and let his expression ask the questions his lips refused to give a voice to.

“He”s got a pretty nasty concussion. I was able to get you a shared room here, but he”s going to need to stick around for a bit to make sure everything is all right. Birdie’s on her way up from Texas. But I think it”s all going to be just fine. He”s too stubborn, eh?”

Theo huffed out a half of a laugh and relaxed back into the bed. There was so much to worry about. So much more to figure out. And a hell of a lot of unknowns. But the one thing he could trust was that they were all there, they were all alive, and they were all way too damn stubborn to let anything get in the way of that. He could figure out the rest later.